Maintaining frame after serious injury

Two_kids_in_a_coat · 2018-10-15T23:58:37+00:00

Take the reigns and steer her. She needs leadership, not a personal servant. Tell her what to do, put her ass to work. Give her a chance to show her worth. If you truly were a captain then she will jump at the chance to prove she’s worthy of you. If she gives you shit because she has to chip in then you were simply her BB and you just never noticed.

MrChad_Thundercock · 2018-10-15T21:27:12+00:00

“can tell wife is already losing respect for me”

She stopped sucking your dick?

Tebulus · 2018-10-15T23:42:23+00:00

Stay busy and productive as much as possible within the constraints of your primary goal being "heal my back as quickly and efficiently as possible". You cant fight her unconscious perception so if you are a temporary invalid rest assured she is silently judging you in your weakest most painful moments. Protip: that is okay.

So four things: 1. Be attractive and don't be unattractive. 2. Prioritize healing. 3. Try to internalize that physical ability is a single puzzle piece on a very large puzzle and that you can still make a woman attracted to you and lead her while disabled/invalid. 4. Delegate.

Also, a question: How would you behave if this was your life from now on? Are you fucked? Or can you make it work? Do that.

Also I have heard people with chronic back pain say this is the shit and it cures you permanently: https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Back-Pain-Mind-Body-Connection/dp/0446557684

twiskirano · 2018-10-16T03:06:58+00:00

Story of my life the past several+ months.

Mine started losing respect after the injury and it only got worse when I lost my job, that's how I found myself here.

Things took a turn for the better with lots of sidebar, STFU, focusing on healing, and even though I couldn't and still can't lift shit I began working on my diet and found that walking a fuck ton helps a lot with the back - took my 9 month old son on many walks to escape the harpy.

Totally going to read and watch the back stuff on here because I do want to lift again.

Cliffs: Sidebar, STFU, and work on bettering yourself

redwall92 · 2018-10-16T11:52:58+00:00

Aurelius speaks to this in his Meditations. Can't find specific examples at the moment, but to loosely paraphrase...

If life gives you something you cannot handle, then will stressing/whining/complaining/worrying/etc/etc make it better? No. Accept and acknowledge the things you can't handle.

The things you can handle? Handle them.

Another poster said

Stop whining about it, to yourself and to your wife.

Spot on with that comment. Whining to yourself is the indicator you don't have frame here.

If you whine to your wife because that's what you want to do (or should do). Then do it. Just know that in this RP world and with relational dynamics the way they are she'll loose attraction for you. You'd be a man showcasing his weakness and asking a woman to bear your burden. Just know that will happen. And be OK with it. She's not your frame, and her reactions aren't your frame.

Posting here to get ideas of how to maintain frame? Meh ...

Posting here to get ideas of how to captain a shim? YES. Swap notes with guys that have been there/done that.

Don't whine to yourself about the shit life has thrown at you. Be a man that doesn't let the shit stick until you're dead in the grave and your body is turning into fertilizer for some squirrel family acorns for a few winters.

RedPillCoach · 2018-10-16T14:57:26+00:00

If your wife is treating you like shit after an injury you fucked up because you chose an inconsiderate bitch. Any time I have ever been hurt I’ve been taken care of. I have to tell my wife to leave me alone because she is eager to satisfy me. If you got money call people to do the home maintenance. If the kids or groceries need to be picked up too damn bad. You need to rest and get your strength back. Your wife, just like an employer, will let you work your ass off if you’re injured because they can always get a new spouse or employee. They don’t care about your health and they’re not looking out for you.

helaughsinhidden · 2018-10-15T22:04:12+00:00

How do you think Christopher Reeve handled getting paralyzed?

How about Brian Kolfage, a triple amputee? (http://briankolfage.com)

I think the first two things would be:

Realize that your value doesn't come strictly from lifting, bending, picking up your kids and groceries, and doing home maintenance.
Stop whining about it, to yourself and to your wife.

screechhater · 2018-10-15T21:24:32+00:00

What did you do ?

Redpillbrigade17 · 2018-10-16T15:39:05+00:00

Make a list of 100 things you CAN do. Read it daily. Do at least 10 of them every day. You must begin to celebrate the things you can do. And do them. Your lack mentality is the problem. Gain a different perspective. Find good role models. How about the dude (forget his name, he was on a Jocko podcast) who lost all four of his limbs in a war, while in the military. Has a big smile on his face, prosthetic everything, is an awesome dad, makes shit happen, his wife probably bangs him all the time. Btw do you have your tongue? Can you go down on your woman?

markpf73 · 2018-10-17T19:47:23+00:00

Injuries happen, shit happens, financial messes happen.

I maintain frame by coming up with a plan and a path to get to the best possible outcome by myself. When she says all scared and worried “what are we going to do?” You need to be able to say no worries I got this...delegate what you need to, but they need to know what and when the light at the end of the tunnel is.

At no point should this involve your wife seeing you vulnerable, uncertain, or acting like a pussy. Because you know what pussy gets...fucked.

RedPillCoach · 2018-10-18T00:48:39+00:00

I can tell wife is already losing respect for me.

I have $10,000 on this guy leaving a big clue for the actual cause of this problem- probably in the same paragraph.

I feel useless.

Yep.

The problem is not that your wife is losing respect. That is an effect, not a cause. The cause is you losing respect for yourself.

Frame is all.

Peter_B_Long · 2018-10-15T23:21:44+00:00

Just do what you can do. Just "handle your shit" as best as possible. You still have your mind and your frame.

Learn to accept your situation. It is what it is and from the sounds of it, you're doing everything possible to get yourself back on track.

At time point it's just damage control so try to avoid damaging your frame any more. Focus more on your diet and nutrition. Focus now on learning and studying new skills.

BobbyPeru · 2018-10-16T00:16:11+00:00

Delegate- how old are the kids? Delegate to her also... be a leader

Brickles09 · 2018-10-15T22:14:45+00:00

I’ve been there, wife lost respect too... Not much you can do, basically STFU and stay away from her. Wife would eventually come to me and say: “You are getting really fat! Look at that belly!” The fact that she weighs more than me in spite of being shorter and being a fucking female seemed irrelevant to her, be careful about entering anger phase again.

red-sfpplus · 2018-10-15T21:48:45+00:00

I'm doing all the shit the doc says to do

What are you doing in addition to the doctor?

Or are you 100% relying on him to tell you how to live your life. Like you are doing with us.

Faggot.

Title	Maintaining frame after serious injury
Author	Disgruntledfamilyguy
Upvotes	15
Comments	36
Date	October 15, 2018 9:19 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9ogya7/maintaining_frame_after_serious_injury/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/maintaining-frame-after-serious-injury.203896 https://theredarchive.com/post/203896