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How to become more successful in initiating sex? Share your strategies.

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October 6, 2018
8 upvotes

Night sex: I'm finding that initiating at night is more difficult. She's often tired at night and has a lower sex drive than me (or so it seems). Here are my approaches:

When we get into bed and close the light i let her cuddle against me. We lie facing each other and I slowly rub her back and shoulders with one hand, slowly increasing the intensity as I become more horny. This strategy is becoming old and over used, so it's working far less than it used to. Tips?

My other strategy is to simply give her a oil back massage from shoulders to feet, while we're both naked. This has a close to 100% success rate, but cannot be used often or else it will lose it's value.

Morning sex:

Morning sex is easy some days, but other times I can't get her to budge. I used to spoon her upon waking up and caress her body and slowly move my hands around her body and kiss her neck. And she feels me started to get hard behind her. But sometimes she just denies me, and I used to plea and try to continue touching her, but this rarely ever works. I can't guilt her into sex. So now when she denies me I just pretend like it doesn't bother me and stop the cuddling and try to go back to sleep. Tips?

Day sex: Day sex is the most difficult to achieve for me. She likes to keep busy and sees day sex as an obstruction on her time. I have no clue how to initiate it anymore. How do I initiate sex when she's focused on chores or taking a break on the couch sipping her wine. I always seem too pushy when I want it. I have no clue how to game sex during the day.

Share your successful strategies. And please give input on mine. I don't have much experience in LTRs.


Post Information
Title How to become more successful in initiating sex? Share your strategies.
Author quantum_grape
Upvotes 8
Comments 73
Date 06 October 2018 04:34 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203929
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9lxahr/how_to_become_more_successful_in_initiating_sex/
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Comments

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (13 children) | Copy

But the STRANGE and frustrating thing is that she sometimes follows this behavior by denying me after she got me aroused and says "No, we have a lot to do today." then proceeds to lie in bed for 20 minutes when we could have had sex already, essentially leaving me blue balled after sucking me off for 10 seconds. I don't understand why she does this?

You're asking why she'd get you aroused, give a slight push back, and then lay there completely available to you? Really?

She wants you to be more assertive in taking what you want. Don't be a sperg about it, just tell her that the other shit can wait and escalate.

[–]quantum_grape1 point2 points  (12 children) | Copy

She wants you to be more assertive in taking what you want.

I sensed that. I also sensed that she wanted me to go for it even after a "No" - maybe that gets her off, but again, this is speculation.

You're asking why she'd get you aroused, give a slight push back, and then lay there completely available to you? Really?

I kept pushing for sex even after she gave me that shit excuse. I kept getting close to her and rubbing her body and kissing her neck, but she continued to block my touch to her breasts while telling me no. Are you telling me that I need to escalate even after a "no"? What am I suppose to do: pin her hands down, take what I want and hope that she's into it?? That's bordering non consensual sex. I may try it if she pulls those moves again, but I risk a big fight by forcing myself onto her after a no.

Why the hell would she suck me off for 10 seconds then deny me anyways?

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

If she's giving you a hard no then drop it... for the moment. If she's saying things like "we have things to do" (i.e. not "no") then keep escalating.

More importantly, keep gaming her throughout the day. Be more direct about what you want, but remember the push-pull nature of seduction. Pick her up and put her ass on the counter, kiss her hard, break the kiss before she gets a chance to, and then walk away and go back to whatever you were doing. Do things like this when you know you'll fuck her later, but also game her even when you know there's no chance for sex at the time. The goal is to make transition into sex seamless, and initiation just becomes a matter of opportunity. Bonus: you'll find that she'll start initiating more often.

She wants to fuck you, she's just bored with the way you initiate.

[–]Fritz_Frauenraub5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

The problem is, he doesn't know a hard from a soft no...and who can blame him in this climate.

[–]SepeanRed Beret6 points7 points  (8 children) | Copy

Are you telling me that I need to escalate even after a "no"? What am I suppose to do: pin her hands down, take what I want and hope that she's into it?? That's bordering non consensual sex. I may try it if she pulls those moves again, but I risk a big fight by forcing myself onto her after a no.

There’s a lot of middle ground between stopping and pinning her down. Are you so afraid of not doing what your wife tells you that you have to equate good advice to rape?

[–]quantum_grape0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

What do you suggest I do then when she does this? The last time it happened I tried to continue to escalate by spooning closer to her, rubbing her body slowly and kissing her neck. I think RandomlyChosenTitle is right, in that she's bored with my approach. I think she wants me to act more dominant, I just don't know how else to initiate while in bed. Hell, she even wants me to read Fifty Shades of Grey where the main male character is dominant in bed. I'm getting the clue.. I just need to figure out a new style of initiating.

[–]SepeanRed Beret4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

You can only do one thing, spoon closer to her? Maybe try all fours. Or knees. Seriously, do you need microguidance like this? Just fucking do something, stop thinking so much.

What do you want to do? Are you rubbing her body slowly and kissing her neck because that’s what you want, or what you think she wants? Stop that, grow a pair of balls and do what you want. Feel up a thigh, grab a tit, grope her ass. You’re doing this for you, not for her.

[–]quantum_grape0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

or what you think she wants? Stop that

Yes you're right. I often try to focus on what she wants. My logic is that if I focus on making her feel good than she'll want it more often. But that line of thinking hasn't got me far.

I've actually been focusing on taking what I WANT lately. The last time we had sex I grabbed her by the hair and finished in her mouth, took a break then did it again in her mouth. Then she had to ride my semi-hard dick to get off. Felt kinda bad about it, but I did take what I wanted.

The time before that I pulled out of her pussy and pushed it up her ass and finished on her back. Completely what I wanted.

But I'm thinking that if I always take WHAT I WANT like you suggest. Focusing on what I want. Then she'll enjoy it less and won't want sex as much.

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.01 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

A woman gets off on the fact that you get off. Why do you think it stings them so much more if you were to reject sex?

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret11 points12 points  (7 children) | Copy

I have no idea how far along you are but those all made me cringe. Reminded me a lot of my dead bedroom days.

The honest truth is that once you’ve done the work and she’s actually attracted to you, it doesn’t take much effort to initiate. She knows you want it and so does she.

Typical scenarios for me:

Night: Get undressed for bed, catch her looking at me like a fat kid eyeing a chocolate cake, get in bed, kiss, escalate, either she goes along with it or (rarely) she doesn’t....

Morning: Same as night, except I’m already in bed or returning from the washroom...and she has the same look...

Day: Send kids away, challenge her to a race up the stairs or throw her over my shoulder the moment the door closes. To keep her on her toes, mix it up randomly waiting until they’re just about to return, then carry her upstairs etc.

Be attractive, don’t be unattractive and it’s really not that hard.

[–]quantum_grape0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Do you think physical attraction is enough? I don't have much status and have a very average job (working on improving that), so in the meantime I'm stuck with what I've got. I'm physically attractive and fit, but I guess I lack the other stuff.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stats? S/D/B

[–]SepeanRed Beret1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Frame is number one, game is number 2, looks is number 3. Status and income doesn’t even register.

[–]quantum_grape-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

I hope you're right.

[–]SepeanRed Beret5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

There’s lots of dead bedroomed CEOs whose wives happily bounce on their minimum wage earning tennis coach’s cock twice a week.

[–]quantum_grape1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

true.

[–]IRunYourRiver1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He is.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

I dunno, man, my wife is the one who initiates more often then not.

She even just cut out quickly to go to Vicki S and pick out something scandalous to wear to impress me. Like 30 min ago.

I blame MRP for my predicament. It's like I STFUed, lifted, and read the sidebar. Who knew.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

How ? Just how ?

Fuck lifting, I now read 5 Love Languages at the gym

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I did everything the OP did, but TEN TIMES MORE!

Also, my choreplay is top notch.

But more likely I did nothing the OP did, I"m tall and in shape, and I stimulate her mind, and let her imagination tale over.

CHOOORREPLAY!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I read Psychology Today articles on being a better husband. She tells me she likes it when I treat her like an equal. On the other hand, it's harder to penetrate her now that she's all dried up down there.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good one.

[–]JacquesOffDerrida12 points13 points  (8 children) | Copy

I am a woman. I began reading this sub, the parent sub, and the RedPillWives sub in an attempt to fix my marriage (but not Red Pill Woman; that sub is a shitshow). I just read the community rules and saw that it is okay for women to comment and give advice on this sub, unlike MRP.

OP, all these men commenting are absolutely right. I thought that you might need to hear it from a woman. My husband and I were in the same situation as you until I read enough on here and MRP to become brave enough to actually tell him what I wanted. (Thank you to whomever said that women will do backflips to avoid telling men what they want in bed—that’s what made me realize that I should probably stop doing backflips and be a big girl and say what I want).

When you say that you escalate by rubbing her back harder and kissing her more, you’re killing it all. That is NOT escalating. That is boring and she’s tired of it. No sex is better than that kind of sex. I’ll say it again: For her, HAVING NO SEX IS BETTER than what you are giving her. She wants you to be a man, a dominant, aggressive man (but not necessarily mean- my husband had a hard time understanding that I don’t want him to be mean to me and yell when I finally opened up). She wants you to get on top of her, pin her down, and tell her what to do. If she pushes back or tries to wiggle away it’s because she wants to feel your strength. If she hits you a little or scratches she wants you to show her your strength. Tell her “no.” Tell her “stop.” Or just hold her wrists so she can’t do it. You’ll have to figure out what she wants when it gets to that. I can tell you what I want when I do that, but only if you think it would be valuable to you.

When she sucks you a little and then stops and lays there she wants you to take initiative. What are you going about it? You didn’t like that she stopped, did you? She wants you to order her back on or to physically put her back on her knees. It’s a game! Respond to her like it’s a game! Stop overthinking this. You’re thinking too much.

Don’t wait until you’re going to bed. I love sex now that things are not boring, and I would fuck every night, but if I’m crawling into bed for sleep it’s because I’m ready to sleep. You need to initiate earlier. Someone else said that you need to initiate throughout the day. This is exactly correct. You asked how. You must keep her always thinking about you. Slap her ass in the morning, grab her tightly around the hips, anything that isn’t so god damned sweet as what you’ve been doing with your luvy-duvy romantic sweet kisses. Stop that shit and save it for the cuddles after the dirty sex, because if she lets it get dirty enough she might need to know that you don’t think she’s some disgusting slut, and you can do that by holding her and kissing her sweetly AFTERWARD. Any time you can initiate dominant/strong/powerful physical contact throughout the day, do it! This will help lead into sex after the kids go to bed.

Stop thinking so much about what she wants. Get out of her head until you read enough of the sidebar and learn what women actually want, because you’ve got it all wrong. Listen to these men on here and the parent sub. Stop being so goddamned sweet. She doesn’t want sweet. She’s playing a game. Play along. Don’t ruin it. She’s likely afraid to tell you what she wants because she doesn’t want to scare you off.

Please don’t call me a faggot or crucify me for commenting. I only took pity on OP and his wife because it was the same situation for me and my husband a while back.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

This here is a unicorn. Don't pet the unicorn.

[–]JacquesOffDerrida1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I certainly hope this is a positive comment. I’ve heard unicorns used as someone special, but I don’t think I’m that special or my situation is. Perhaps things just had to get exceedingly shitty with my relationship for both myself and my husband, and without getting that shitty I wouldn’t have made the changes and opened myself the way I have. I feel like I’ve done a lot of work on myself and our relationship to turn it around. I read RedPillWives for quite a while but it never helped much. It was reading AskMRP and MRP and working backwards from there that helped the most. Without figuring out how men tend to feel when wives do certain things I never would have known what to change about my responses to him. Without seeing so many men advocating being more dominant I never would have found the bravery to tell him what I wanted in bed. The changes in the bedroom have spilled over into daily life and I feel like we can be incredible together.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

The general rule is that this a man's room but you seem to have some presence about you. Mostly the RPW sub is full of women who admit to the AWALT spectrum but work to trying to keep it at bay and find productive ways to use it to achieve their goals. ie lock down an alpha male in a committed relationship. Make no mistake AWALT is real. There is no denying it.

So yeah that is a RP unicorn. Being able to do that and keep it.

What I mean by not petting the unicorn is directed at men to go. HELL YEAH that's what I want.

Men and women communicate differently. very very differently. Being overt is normally a sign a women as at the end of her rope. She is about to quit. UNLESS she is very into her husband and things didn't get quite as bad as what we have here. Hence the unicorn.

And yet you have the core of what it's all about. Actions. Our actions and how they make us feel. A women who is willing to please her man, in bed and out, is far more satisfied, content, and eager to stay with her chosen man. This goes without saying that the man has to actually be one and not some beta who sits around the house expecting blowjobs from his chosen unicorn.

I am not criticizing you. I am preventing the "conflicting advice" most men will see here. If things are as you say they are then your husband has already been an achieving worthy man in your eyes.

[–]weakandsensitive-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

your advice is shit and you should feel back.

you start off qualifying yourself by listing all your "achievements" - like having a vagina.

then you write some more crap.

this is like a fish trying to teach fishing. this is actually really sad. the type of post that tbp would rightly ridicule.

on the bright side, if you wrote literary erotica, you could probably sell on amazon.

I thought that you might need to hear it from a woman.

how attractive do you think this dude really is if that's actually the case?

[–]JacquesOffDerrida3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Okay. I didn’t realize it came off as me thinking that being a woman was an achievement at all. That was not what I intended. I read the sub rules and saw that it was okay for me comment, and I wanted to make it clear that I am coming from the wife’s point of view so as to not cause any confusion or pretend to be who I am not. What OP described seemed so much like what my husband and I were experiencing, down to the little details.

I’ll continue to read the subs quietly in order to improve myself and how I respond to my husband. I cannot thank anyone here enough for helping me become a better person and wife. I was ready to leave and had lost all feelings, good or bad, for my husband, but now I have improved myself and my responses, and my husband has become filled with more self-confidence.

I always appreciate reading your specific comments, too, and I recognize your handle from all the reading I done. I’ve learned a lot about from these subs and even from you, and I’ll take your comment seriously and without feeling offended, which is I guess easier said than done. The mods are welcome to delete my comments if they are worthless and I’ll also consider whether I should delete them or leave them. Thank you for the honesty.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’ll take your comment seriously and without feeling offended

It's the way I write.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You shouldn't need an appeal to authority (vagina) if your advice is solid. Appeals to authority imply the authority knows what's up.

Everyone on the internet is a faceless retard anyway.

You seem nice and thoughtful, so let me point out where I see the biggest issue in your post is. A lot of it is very reactive - if you go through and read all the "She" statements, and attempts at having the right responses, you're trying to help an idiot with play by play when his mindset is wrong anyway. If he can't lead... it'll just be fumbling around anyway.

Anyway - let me see those titties.

[–]SepeanRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, if this approach was relevant it would be on the sidebar. You’re so misguided it isn’t even funny. She’s not some puzzle you need to figure out, and going about it like she is so fucking frameless.

Just increase your alpha. Once your SMV is up there, getting a BJ is as hard as unzipping.

Instructions are over there ->

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy

Cringe worthy.

If you’re waiting until night to initiate, you’re doing at all wrong. Always be initiating.

I love strategies, but at one point when you develope into a real man, you have sex whenever the fuck you want to. It’s not a chess game anymore.

[–]quantum_grape0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

If you’re waiting until night to initiate, you’re doing at all wrong. Always be initiating.

What do you mean by always be initiating? When she's cooking, initiate. When she's doing chores, initiate. When she's resting on the couch, initiate. I don't understand that logic. What exactly do you mean? How do I initiate during these situations and how should I react when I'm denied?

but at one point when you develope into a real man

Constructive advice please? Instead of telling me I need to become a 'real man'.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

Have you read the sidebar materials?

If not, there’s your starting point. There are no shortcuts or special tricks.

Right after you start LIFTING. I’m just going to assume you don’t by the level of cringe in your post.

[–]quantum_grape-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

I do lift. Wrong assumption. People who lift can still make you cringe. I'm fit and physically attractive.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Need more info. 3 months ago you were posting in r/seduction. Now you say LTR’s are new to you.

[–]quantum_grape-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

So what if I posted in seduction? What info do you want?

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm trying to figure out if this is actually an LTR, or someone you've met in the last 3 months and instapromoted to LTR because you're a needy omega who hasn't learnt anything and finally had a girl touch his pee pee.

By the way, your height/weight stats tell me you're ajust above concentration camp victim and your "lifting" is dumbbells and machines.

In other words, you're not lifting and yes your stats in the Big 3 do mean something. They tell us if you are actually jacked or not. There's no way to lift 3/4/5 and not be.

[–]JudgeDoom690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you're just above concentration camp victim

He's rocking that Auschwitz look with his hot yoga and "lifting"

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

because posting in seduction means that you are clearly too fucking retarded to realize that you are in a community of retards. it's the blind leading the stupid and following the idiots. feel free to figure out which one of those three you are.

maybe if this was 2009.

[–]firstlight7771 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

How do you even have the nerve to post this. You have obviously never read pook, nice guy, or this sub enough. God damn cringe blue pill shit. Rub her back? Barf. They hate that. Lift. Make her wonder what you're doing ie have a life outside of her frame. Find YOUR frame. Do what you want. Make yourself attractive to other women, she WILL notice and she WILL fuck. Fuck her like it's the last sex you'll ever have. The next day she WILL shit test you, smirk at her, make a sexual joke, and leave. You have a long road ahead, keep reading here, the real RP sub and askmrp.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You know what is a really reat thing in the morning? A good cup of coffee.

I know what you are thinking. So many other things out there to enjoy, and maybe the caffeine isn't the best for me, but nothing bets that great cup of coffee. And it starts with picking the right beans. Most people just go, grab some coffee beans off the shelf or gawd forbid that shit from Starbucks (always smells like baby shit to me). But I mean get into where your beans are coming from, the flavor, taste. You can really make coffee a thing. I do. I prefer the details in my life.

I go through a process of making my coffee. Get some cream. Grind the beans, because whole beans are just better. There is a large amount of debate about it, but hands down…whole beans. Making sure the water is just right, to the right filters and ensuring my pot is clean.

It gets thoroughly taken care of every couple days. A lot things can build up in teh pot that could ruin a good cup of coffee.

Like in all things you have to enjoy the process. Learning a new skill, having some esoteric knowledge that maybe only a few people have, and then being able to create something as perfect as a morning cup of joe.

Now the key is that you go through the work and process of making a good cup of coffee. You can’t just buy the beans, and any old bean remember. You can’t just set it all out on the counter top. Dump out the grocery bag and then expect coffee to just magically appear. Even still you can’t buy the top shelf ingredients and expect someone else to just make you a cup of coffee.

You have to do the work.

Get up enjoy your coffee knowing that you built something.

Nothing like a good cup of coffee in the morning.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey OP - all of this advice, all of this advice you've gotten in this thread you want to agree with, remember that this advice applies to attractive men. It doesn't apply to you.

Just from your entire approach and the way you've responded, it's clear as day you aren't attractive. Remember, every unhappy wife is a rape victim.

[–]JudgeDoom691 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

Work on becoming more attractive, and you'll have more success regardless of the time of day.

[–]quantum_grape0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

True. I am physically attractive, but lack status and a good job - working on these things. Apparently being physically attractive and fit isn't enough.

But still, my initiating strategies need work. I haven't been doing this LTR thing for a long time so I'm inexperienced in this area.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Need height, weight, lifts. We get too many "Hey, I'm really fit guys, I'm 6'1" and 160lbs soaking wet."

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Haha, you nailed it. He's 6'3", 175lbs.

[–]JudgeDoom691 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

How much can you squat? DL? Bench?

[–]quantum_grape-5 points-4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Since when is physical attractiveness measured by how well you can perform in 3 specific exercises? This is not a dick measuring contest. I'm simply saying that I am physically attractive.

I'm 6'3 175 low body fat, I lift 3-4 days a week plus do hot yoga regularly. I'm fit. I'm not bulky.. I'm tall. I'm white. Have a full head of hair and dress pretty well. I'm not as heavy as I would like to be, would like to gain 5-10 more pounds.

We met because of mutual physical attraction. She smiled at me in a bar a few times and I approached. She definitely must find me physically attractive.

[–]JudgeDoom695 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Since when is physical attractiveness measured by how well you can perform in 3 specific exercises

It's not, but it's a start. You're a "fit" string bean faggot who does hot yoga at the Pink Lotus Studio. You need to start power lifting and bulk up.

I'm white

What does that have to do with attractiveness? I guarantee that given the choice, your LTR would let Dwayne Johnson fuck her in the ass in front of you.

She definitely must find me physically attractive

She was once attracted to you, but you've lost that, or else you wouldn't be here, would you?

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're a "fit" string bean faggot who does hot yoga at the Pink Lotus Studio.

Classic.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey dickhead - way to dodge the question.

Fucking around for 30 minutes at the gym doesn't equal lifting. Doing 10 pound flys doesn't count as lifting.

Your mentality and mindset, even setting aside your other bullshit, is unattractive and your insecurity oozes even in your writing.

It's sad. It's pathetic. It's not a surprise your wife isn't attracted. You're a bitch - and consequently, you get treated like a bitch.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Back to the basics.....

Lift like your life depends on it

Be attractive, don't be unattractive

Book of Pook

"then proceeds to lie in bed for 20 minutes when we could have had sex already"

You poor needy, little omega boy. Waiting on her/being butt hurt to dole out the pussy is, at best, the most unattractive supplicating sorry assed excuse for a beta, I have read lately

[–]quantum_grape-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

You poor needy, little omega boy. Waiting on her/being butt hurt to dole out the pussy is, at best, the most unattractive supplicating sorry assed excuse for a beta, I have read lately

I never waited. I kept escalating and was denied harder. Read the thread. Why do you resort to insults? this sub is meant to help people who struggle with these problems. You open my thread, read it, then give "just lift bro" advice that has already been suggested, then insult me a bunch. This is how you spend your time?

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, it’s not “just lift bro” it’s, “lift like your life depends on it”

You don’t think I can sense your frustration ?

Can you not step back and re-read your post and realize what is going on with the dynamics of getting you aroused then rebuffing you ?

You bring your problems in here to internet strangers looking for help, But refuse to read between the lines, like her hidden signals, or the sidebar and waste your time fixated on my insults, but make the time to list the different times of day of sex ?

Your fixated response to me, barely scratches the surface of your neediness or perhaps butt hurt rejected look on your face to her or pouty shit response to her rejection only stokes her willingness to continually toy with the lame mouse with her paw before she loses all respect for you.

Ask. Me. How. I. Know.

My. Time. Giving. Back.

Read. I think 8th chapter plus or minus of Book I mentioned.

[–]Kingofdeadbedroom0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Once you're able to laugh when a random internet stranger calls you a pussy or faggot; you'll have loosened up and stop being so intimidated and accepting other people's judgements of yourself. Who cares? Are you a faggot? If that's all it takes to upset you, how are not going to get upset and butthurt when she acts like a bitch, or just plays with you?

I'm a faggot, and I can tell you that all the advice that I read here, so far, is spot on.

Stop giving a fuck about what other people think. Lift like your life depends upon it and be playful. The flaired guys really know what they're talking about. Maybe you don't like what you hear, as it doesn't meet your understanding of how the world works. Nevertheless you are here because of what your beliefs. It's time to open your mind.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You reek of fear and desperation.

I have a picture in my mind of you as a little kid standing on the edge of the pool, afraid to jump in because the water MIGHT be a little cold. So you dont do it.

If and when you DO gather the little courage you have to go in, you tip toe into the water timidly with a t-shirt on and signal to everyone you're not gonna be much fun.

You need to work on your game pre-initiation of course, that is obvious, but you also need to adopt a mother fuckin' kamikaze, give-no-fucks, "I'm on a suicide mission to fuck" kinda mindset.

For the next few weeks, try not doing the slow-building massage bullshit. When she gets into bed, just grab that blindfold or pair of panties you like and throw them at her with a "put this on" and smirk like the devil. She may reject you. Laugh it off, then give her a kiss with a "oh well, next time ;)". If you have the faintest whiff of butthurt on you, you fail. But you still win because for her itll be a little unexpected and therefore exciting. After you do it a bunch and that style becomes routine, well then you've become a confident man who doesnt overthink how to get the girl. And that my friend is attractive. I guarantee you will smash more often than not. (Assuming you have the basics of lifting, AM, etc down pat)

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

We usually say don’t plan sex, but on the weekends I offen start gaming her at night with kino, kissing, dirty talk, and telling her I’m going to hit it in the morning... she’s onboard the night before every time/ it’s never failed me. But, you might not be at that level yet- I rarely get any no’s these days.

In any case, the key is kino, gaming, and get a feeling .... you should always be able to tell whether she wants it or not, which basically eliminates hard no’s. Just don’t be autistic.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I lay in bed with a tent showing in the sheets where I'm hard. It's like flying the "fuck me now" flag. YMMV :)

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What, no semaphore flags?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm trying' ta be covert man.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol. My coffee has sprayed the wife’s glasses.

[–]ParaXilo1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

This has to be a troll. Covert contracts out the ass.

It's ok. I fuck up too.

In reality it really isn't ok.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's probably not. This is the state of your modern man, your competition....

That's why all the dumpster posts get filtered here. It's a constant reminder of how much men suck and why we shouldn't be surprised that women try to do better when they can. I mean shit, the majority of these posts leave me reeling at how indecisive, insecure, and delusion these guys are.

[–]IRunYourRiver0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You increase your success rate by increasing your sexual market value. The technique, unless you're really, truly terrible, is not that important.

But even if she isn't receptive yet, keep initiating. It does two things: 1) reminds her that you view yourself as a sexual being; 2) if and when she denies you, it's probably the best way to begin changing relationship power dynamics. Don't get hurt or sad, just roll over and go to sleep. If it's before work, make a joke about not being able to use your stand up desk that day. But first and foremost, it doesn't affect you.

Read, lift, sidebar, repeat.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I come in the room and shut the door behind me and lock it. Take her pjs off spread the legs spit on my dick stick it in. She will either put her phone down and say what are you doing or i take it and throw it across the bed and go to pound town. No massage no getting her ready. My dick does that and me getting mine gets her off more than anything.

[–]Terminal-Psychosis0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Be sexy. Be someone women want to fuck.

This isn't a metal problem to try and solve.

Sounds like you got some major work to do,

or, are wasting more time with a woman that isn't going to ever give you what you need.

Either way, you gotta change shit. Or not... but this crap is going nowhere, obviously.

She's laying in bed... and you're not jumping her bones.

God no wonder she's board of you and throwing so many shit tests.... and you've failed every one.

Go read the sidebar more.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Cuddles are good. Sex is good. Cuddles are not sex, sex is not cuddles.

When you try to mix them up you are engaging in covert contracts. When you want to fuck, fuck. When you want to cuddle, cuddle.

If you mix these up it is confusing and stressful for her.

"Oh shit, he's rubbing his junk on me again. He probably is going to try to guilt me into sex in about 10 minutes. Maybe I can pretend to fall asleep before that."

vs.

"I love it when he holds me tight, it makes me feel safe."

"I love it when he makes me feel like he can't go on another minute without fucking me, it makes me feel attractive."

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What the fuck?!? Are you trolling? Do you have any clue what this sub is about?

Sidebar faggot.

[–]CaptJohnLukeDiscard0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I tend to initiate by grabbing her, pinning her against something, and taking her clothes off. I then stick my dick in her or put my dick in her face and tell her to suck it.

After I'm done and she's a sweaty, smiling mess, I get her to sign a "that was fucking awesome and I enjoyed it thoroughly" form notarized by four independent witnesses including a gay feminist trans-man. This is 2018 and she's not gonna Kavanaugh my ass. #notmetoo



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