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Anyone done a sex moratorium from NMMNG?

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October 6, 2018
14 upvotes

Wife is all on this "not feeling comfortable" when I try to game or be physical and giving starfish sex to keep me around because I ramboed a couple months back and spouted off autistic shit about options cause I was being a child with dynamite. Basically any little thing has met resistance because she doesn't want me butt hurt because I ramboed with "you better fuck me" what a fool I was.

Thanks past ParaXilo. Did us a solid there.

Wants to work on being friends. I told her we aren't friends we are lovers. "I want to be friends first." I segwayed into us not having sex for the rest of the year. 3 months so no sex 5 or 6 times. I'd be ok. She said, "we don't have to do that." I told her no sex in October at least.

Really just wanted to use this to see if it really does work. Maybe I can finally stop getting into her frame and GAF about not stirring things up. Actually break the butt hurt connection she has tied to me.

Suggestions on the sex moratorium? Do it? Don't do it? STFU and lift faggot is fine too. I'm back to lifting but need to STFU more. Finally reading the chapters in BPP book. May need to reread and take notes of MMSL and NMMNG.

Edit: Realize I fucked up. Just gonna take it on the chin for October and work on things I've been meaning to.


Post Information
Title Anyone done a sex moratorium from NMMNG?
Author ParaXilo
Upvotes 14
Comments 64
Date 06 October 2018 01:36 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203930
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9lvzmz/anyone_done_a_sex_moratorium_from_nmmng/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
frameliftgameMMSLNMMNG
Comments

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret15 points16 points  (3 children) | Copy

Well, telling her “no sex in October” was a really butt hurt way of going about it. The sex moratorium recommended in NMMNG is less about her and more about you. I don’t like telling your wife about a moratorium. I do see some benefit for some guys just giving up for a little while. Too many dudes here read MMSLP and start gaming their wife and getting all clingy and cringey uncomfortable with them. When you are unattractive this is a huge turn off. This is why she is saying friends first. She has zero tingles with you and she is just taking a stab at that being the problem.

I sort of did the moratorium thing early on. What I did was mostly just back off of initiations for a month or so. I didn’t tell her anything and I didn’t refuse her if she initiated. This helped reset my brain more than anything. While sex is the ultimate goal here, we sometimes get so hyper focused on it that we forget about the things that will get us to our destination. I believe that is all Dr Glover was trying to accomplish with the moratorium. It was to help dudes blinded by sex to see where they were failing which would then help them improve which would help them get more sex.

[–]dandar460010 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

While sex is the ultimate goal here

While it's not a lie, if that is your ultimate goal you might be disappointed. Your ultimate goal is to improve yourself and become your own man, independent of your wife's moods. More sex is a side effect of that.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's the goal untill you reach It, then you just feel dumb you wanted it so bad.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck.

That makes better sense.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy

“I want to be friends first.”

She’s checked out dude. There’s no reason to be friends with a woman.. you’re either fucking her or not.

That book fails on 2 fronts: 1) telling her about your improvement plans and 2) the sex moratorium..

Very gay advice.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

God damn it. Well already placed that on the table for the month. Guess I'll just focus on what I can unfuck.

[–]lionmenden5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Game her. If you want to fuck her, initiate. If she asks why you broke the moratorium, tell her you felt like it. Congruence is great, but the thing about being a man is you can change your mind, take what you want, and do what you want without explanation.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Congruence is great, but the thing about being a man is you can change your mind, take what you want, and do what you want without explanation.

So much this. Need to internalize that more.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wtf dude, down hill spiral of doom.

Men need to fuck.

Next this bitch friend of yours and get several new ones.

She will always see you as a chump. Start tomorrow and be a tight 20 yr olds alpha.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

For real, he just told his wife covertly that fucking is not one of his primary needs. Women want a man who wants to fuck, not some self castrating bitch. What a dumb-ass.

[–]MRPFuckMe18 points9 points  (10 children) | Copy

Well you told her no sex, which I think is kinda dumb because it all seems like a big fat covert contract to try and negotiate attraction. In any case, it’s too late now unless you wanna come off as a guy whose bark is bigger than his bite.

Edit to add:

The whole Rambo “fuck me or fuck you,” then “wait, no sex” declaration is contradictory. You’re just fucking with her head at this point. I think you want what you want and you want it now and all these manipulation tactics are a) fucking you over and b) missing the point. You’ve got to be consistent over time—which is honestly the key to success.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy

I actually meant it.

I didn't flat out say no sex but I told her that we won't have sex so that we can break that association of me getting mad in the past to her saying no. She has the fear that I'll cheat but it's not dread. I fucked that up. It became fear when I ramboed before.

u/ReddJive it doesn't makes it better but maybe shines some light? Either way I was a faggot for posting this in the first place.

[–]MRPFuckMe12 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy

Why are you telling her this shit? Honest question. It wouldn’t be a shitty attempt at dread, or in hopes of getting some reaction would it?

[–]ParaXilo[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Thought it would be helpful to us both.

Me to uncover my covert contracts. See where I'm failing. Not walk on egg shells or fear of rocking the boat.

Her feel less pressure to bad duty sex to keep me around. Eliminate that past butt hurt that I have displayed.

[–]MRPFuckMe11 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Let me ask you, if you don’t game your wife, would she ever initiate on her own?

[–]ParaXilo[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Don't know.

Wasn't sure if the moratorium was meant to also not game her but pretty sure you're suppose to always be gaming.

Yes/no answer? No.

[–]MRPFuckMe15 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Ok, so if you wanted to put a moratorium on sex, for better or worse, it seems you could do it by simply doing it without the declaration, which just fucks with her head and makes you seem fucking weird and desperate. Don’t want sex, then don’t have sex. She probably won’t even notice—and that’s what you’re afraid of.

Just DO. That’s the cornerstone of being a man. Women talk. Women emote. Men do. A woman’s yammering didn’t build the Golden Gate Bridge or build an empire or start a business. Why do you think there’s so much about STFU all over this forum?

To address the overall point, I don’t think this whole plan is going to help you. It all seems like an attempt to manipulate psychology and behavior, be it yours or hers. My personal take on RP and MRP is that it’s either too focused (or there’s too much interest from newbies) regarding the tools it takes to get what you want (sex) be it dread or getting ripped or whatever.

The real value of this praxeology is that it helps YOU realize, truly, deep in your little heart, that you are a man with value. You are missing that boat in my opinion.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are missing that boat in my opinion.

I really am.

I'm at the point that I know the answer but it's still going over my head and I'm still wondering why it's going over my head.

I'm still trying to dodge bullets. I haven't gotten to the point where I don't need to.

[–]Fritz_Frauenraub0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The benign bait and switch of MRP.

[–]JudgeDoom696 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

I segued into us not having sex for the rest of the year

The first rule of fight club is that you don't talk about fight club. If you're going to stop initiating for a period of time, just do it. You don't discuss your plans with her.

Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt - Sun Tzu

[–]ParaXilo[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

So best course of action would be to just STFU....and lift.

[–]JudgeDoom694 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you want to try the sex moratorium from NMMNG, then do it. Stop initiating for a period of time while you focus on un-fucking yourself.

But never discuss your strategy with your wife, just do it.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Got it. Since I'm already in the hole. Might as well stick it out and not back track.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

Take the starfish if you can finish. I hit starfish for the first time in many months last night, but I just plowed through it. After, don’t say a word- just get up and go wash up or whatever you do. Don’t be butthurt- be glad you got off and DNGAF if she tries to bait you. In actual she wants you to stop living in her frame and that would be a start.

Sidebar. You’re lack of reading shines through. Lift Stfu

Work on frame and not giving so many fucks.. start reading “the subtle art of not giving a fuck” by Manson.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

That'll be the book I need to read asap. Thanks.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Actually I don't think that book is that good.bonce the point is made about 1/3 in, the rest is just carry on to hit home the Same point. Ymmv.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Listening to it now. It has some entertaining moments but only on chapter 3. The you're not special chapter is where I'm at.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great suggestion Bobby. Guess I didn't realize what the actual meaning of not giving a fuck. Still listening.

I give too many fucks. If I'm recalling right at the prime of the relationship and what made her drop her panties while she had a boyfriend. I didn't give a fuck about a lot of things. I did what I wanted. Hung out with who I wanted. Said what I wanted. Was still beta bitch deep to the core and Mr. Nice Guy but I had fun. I was fun.

I'll look at the side bar and find something else to place on deck.

[–]FoxShitNasty831 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I realised that the affection in our relationship is all one way with me showing all the physical affection. An example:

I will always cuddle her in bed

I will sometimes unconsciously get hands on a lot when we are in the same room.

Its not reciprocated and it's clingy behaviour. I haven't done any of this for one week now and I intend to continue. But doing it makes me realize do it a lot and have had to stop myself numerous times.

At somepoint I will start light kino again but it's been freeing for me thus far.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Play magic the gathering competitively for the rest of the year. Dry her right out.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think this comment wins the thread.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Just what in the fuck are you reading ?

Are you lifting ?

Men are the romantics Men initiate and they initiate constantly

Just why in the fuck are you operating her "Frame" ?

You lack "mission" or "vision" Your reading is lacking heavily in the realm of basics as you have not internalized the 16 Commandments of Poon

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just what in the fuck are you reading ?

NMMNG

Are you lifting ? Just got back to it. Guess I need to do that and STFU for a few months. Back to level 1.

Just why in the fuck are you operating her "Frame"

Because my frame is made of hay right now. I need to build it. To do that I'll start with lifting.

You lack "mission" or "vision"

I agree. I'll go back through 16 Commandments of Poon. Been a while and I lost sight of that.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I segwayed into us not having sex for the rest of the year. 3 months so no sex 5 or 6 times. I'd be ok. She said, "we don't have to do that." I told her no sex in October at least.

Some of you noobs, I just don't know where your head is at. No sex for the rest of the year? If that were even an option, I'd be visiting some attorneys.

I'm back to lifting but need to STFU more.

Yes, yes you do.

work on things I've been meaning to.

Make your list, work on them, don't talk about them.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Some of you noobs, I just don't know where your head is at. No sex for the rest of the year? If that were even an option, I'd be visiting some attorneys.

Luckily she didn't like the idea and has been feeding me I miss you today so there's some life. It's barely hanging but it's there.

My head is still in the blue pill mindset. Not enough lifting and STFU. Too much talking and not enough doing.

Changing that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

You showed your cards on the sex, so now you need to rebuild genuine desire. That means being a happy, fun, attractive person with other women. Is there a mixed gender club or activity you can spend a lot more time pursuing? You need to silently illustrate you have options.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'll need to find one. I do jiujitsu but there's like 4 females and we're usually trying to choke one another out.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Don't discount your (highly-unusually) grappling class. Nothing breeds camaraderie like a fighting sports. But you already do that, so the dread is likely low to non-existent. Expand in all directions socially.

Basically, you want other women having a good time with you. It could be Crossfit, doubles tennis, board games with other couples, a cooking class. The younger the women, the better.

And because it never hurts to say it, up your grooming and clothing choices (context-dependent, of course).

[–]ParaXilo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It could be Crossfit, doubles tennis, board games with other couples, a cooking class. The younger the women, the better.

Good suggestions. Something that will instill some actual dread but not doing it on purpose. Just having fun.

up your grooming and clothing choices (context-dependent, of course).

Fuck it. Pimp suit all day every day.

[–]Pepethe2nd0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I did it. I should not have told her I was doing it. Neither should have you. Hide the butthurt.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah just need to dial back in. STFU and lift is all I need to do for now.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Didn't need to read, "you better fuck me" is all I needed to see.

Overt contracts my man, that's what you need. YOU need frequent high quality sex to be happy, and life is too short to live it unhappy. This has nothing to do with her.

"You better fuck me" implies the "or else". That is empty.

Make your needs clear to her, and if you are a man of conviction and these are truly your needs, then there is no stress for you beyond making these needs clear. If she chooses to be your only sexual outlet that is her choice, if she doesn't want to be, that is her choice too. Either way is fine for you, you are still going to make sure your needs are met.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

My problem is I still give too many fucks bout her response.

I'll escalate the next, "I'm worried you're going to cheat." I just can't think of the response. "Guess you'll have to audition and see where you stand."? I'm shit at AA and AM.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

AA and AM have their place, but the "Life is too short to go without good frequent sex." discussion needs to be 100% serious and delivered with full conviction. Only say those words if you mean them, there is no room for empty threats.

This is not a threat, remember that. It is you taking charge of your needs as a man. You might "hope" that she makes the right call, but that is it. If you give her the "fuck me or fuck you" and she says "fuck you" back and you allow her to stay in your life, well, you don't deserve anything better.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Haven't given the FUOFM yet. It just was interpreted as that and as if I don't get sex I'm going to cheat. You know how women twist things. Definitely not to that point of giving the ultimatum. Dread level 10 or 11 right?

I'll use that initial one. Life is too short. Thanks InChargeMan.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Everyone has their own "style". My feeling is that I don't "cheat". I've made that clear to my wife, in that it violates my personal ethics, and since I am only accountable to myself I won't do it.

So, instead I've told my wife that if I am going to start fucking other women she will be the first to know. A loose threat that you might "cheat" hurts her ability to feel secure, which is one of a woman's primary needs. This way she can feel secure that she has a man of principal that won't blindside her by sneaking around like a bitch, but also a man of principal that won't let himself live a life without one of his primary needs.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's a good way to put it.

Unfortunately, I've made mistakes about lying in the past so she doesn't trust me. That's my fault.

I'll be more forward about my needs and the stance on cheating. It's not acceptable for either party plus just sounds like too much work to sneak around.

[–]Redpillbrigade170 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I don’t get how a “no sex” moratorium can get you what you want. I’m smiling and shaking my head here as I could have been you just 3 years ago frustrated as fuck , and locked in a marriage where supposedly release with the wife is the only option. But unfortunately you have to do the work on yourself and distinguish between horniness and sex drive. You can use the former as energy/ fuel and increase your effectiveness to fulfill the latter. True sex drive and demonstrated desire from a strong, outcome independent, charming man should be a powerful force and attractive to her. You go be that man. That’s who she wants.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah poor move on my part. Still failing shit tests. So need to improve passing those. They're obvious tests but I've failed a few lately.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

I want to be friends first."

The ONLY response to this is "No thanks. I have more friends then I have time"

Also you are being sent a clear message here. Listen to it. Time for you to seriously not give a fuck about what she thinks. You are danger close to being divorced.

So to address the autistic nature of this post. I am slowly coming around where we need an addendum that addresses the conflicting parts of MMSL and NMMNG BUT it's also good fodder to see guys who have done shit in the Red Pill arena. Where the books and Red Pill conflict. Red Pill is right.

You always game. You always escalate until you get no.

Women take sexual rejection far far harder than men. You want to dry up that pussy? reject her. It's that simple. Women can be sexual camels when they want to be, but once turned on by an Alpha male they stay that way. They will rarely say no.

So you are headed down a wrong path. What you should be doing is more gaming her. You will know when she's dead serious about no longer being touched by you and that's when you have the FMOFU speech. Right now you are butt hurt you aren't getting fucked.

Like a little girl you are telling her no more nookie until get what I want. But isn't what you want more nookie? I don't even understand how that works.

Mission First Women Always.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

This has been the problem with the conflicting info.

I thought the idea of sex moratorium was to help break and uncover covert contracts. Allow me to not have the "but she won't fuck me if I don't X" mindset. The FMOFU was a couple months ago. The SM exercise was recent.

This shit gets frustrating.

I'm just gonna lift, STFU, game, and lead. That's all I need to do right now. I'm still early in all this.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You don't have a clue what you are doing.

Stop thinking and start doing. I just read your OYS from a month ago and things seems to be on track a bit.

What happened, Rambo?

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Previous ramboing came back to bite me.

My fault.

You're right I'm thinking too much. Just gonna do.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Also the link you posted is that from r/TheRedPill cause I can't seem to get to it. Maybe on the desktop I can. Mobile it blocks it.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fixed it



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