TheRedArchive needs help
With 700,000+ posts and 16,000,000+ comments archived, and new Red Pill content being added every week, keeping TheRedArchive alive and discoverable to everyone is starting to become very costly. As a 20-year-old student who just moved out and is living independently for the first time, keeping TheRedArchive alive is beginning to cost me much more than I thought.

Therefore, if you appreciate the website, have gained a lot of knowledge and insight from it, and want to show your appreciation, you can do so by donating any amount that you want via the options below. The money will be used on the expensive monthly host bill and any future maintenance of the website.
Thank you, and I wish you all a successful 2021 and a good luck with achieving your goals and dreams!

Best, /u/dream-hunter

What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

Reddit View
October 5, 2018

I've been a career beta piece of shit all my life. Married 13 years, together since college, have become more and more beta in the past two years. My 4-year old son died of a cancer and I fucked up and got depressed and looked to my wife for strength - big fucking mistake. Little respect. I had started to slowly get my shit together over the past 3 months (not being needy around her, dropping 20 lbs through cardio though) and found MRP. Read NMMNG, MMSL, and Rational Male within 3 days. I've never had my own internal frame, NMMNG described me 100%. I'll start lifting in November since I have 3 business trips out of the country with no access to a gym, but what can I do in the short term to stop being so much a faggot and come to terms with this new reality and starting to get unplugged from the FemMatrix. I've stopped apologizing to my wife and have already seen some shit tests. I have a high level of anxiety disorder/panic attacks (been to therapy and meds) and feel a constant state of anxiousness this week (after completing MMSL). I get anxiety even being near my wife since I think she's going to shit test and I'll fuck it up.

Careerwise I'm killing it - make over 200k, high level leader, rising star, etc. but homewise i suck.

I can't unread what I've read and am in a bit of a panic mode of where the hell does life go from here? What can I do to chill the fuck out - I think hearing from people who've gone through this helps but they're further down the process and actually started shit. I have no safe people to talk to, no friends outside 2 guys at work (high introvert), so likely will rely on this forum for a lot of hand holding.

TLDR: new to this and freaking out a bit.

Post Information
Title What the fuck have I gotten myself into?
Author ShitBeta
Upvotes 19
Comments 90
Date 05 October 2018 01:09 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
betaframeshit testliftMMSLNMMNG

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret29 points30 points  (3 children) | Copy

Embrace the suck.

No, seriously. You are in a prime spot to go Rambo. You want to know why? Because you ALL OF A SUDDEN HAVE ALL OF THESE TOOLS and want to go solving your life's problems, when really you just need to STFU. STFU STFU STFU. You don't even know how to STFU correctly. Work on your STFU, work on your frame, just breathe. Your excuse that there is no gym is a weak one - Vladimir Putin is busier than you and he works out every day.

At least you recognize your anxiety disorder. So you need to STFU, maybe go see a therapist/psychologist to work through your anxiety (I'm all for getting professional help when you need to get professional help), slow the fuck down and figure out the beginning. STFU. Frame. Lifting. Sidebar.

Your story is not a new one. You are not a unique snowflake. Your cash and coin doesn't mean squat. You are not going to get hand holding here - we are in the business of building men, not faggots.

You want to know what you can do? Own your shit. Make slow, positive incremental changes in your life. Learn the tools. Shut the fuck up. Forgive yourself for making mistakes along the way.

Become better.

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Show me a man with anxiety and I'll show you a man with purpose for himself.

He doesn't need a shrink, he needs to start creating a list of S.M.A. R. T. goals and then he needs a plan to start them. He doesn't need to have the correct plan , just his own plan. He can change the plan as he gets better at things.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

He was asking for a reach around. You didn't give to him. I am pretty sure he's running to his safe person right this very moment.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Too much soap dropping.

[–]MRPFuckMe110 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Stop being so god damn emotional for starters. Chill tf out.

Start lifting regardless of your business trips. There will always be an excuse. Fuck that.

When (not if) your wife shit tests you, just STFU for now—and probably a good long while. But not in an autustic, clam-up sort of way. Just nod and smile and let her do her thing, then go about your business. No need to let some little woman give you anxiety. What’s she gonna do? Hit you? Divorce you on the spot? Just relax.

Start reading the stoics. Marcus Aurelius is my fav. You gotta get in control if your emotions. I can feel your panic, beta bitch histrionics from here.

[–]ShitBeta4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've started doing this - when she says something negative or critical just say yup, smile and keep doing whatever I was doing. Thanks for the tip. And yes - my emotions are fucked up. Thanks.

[–]hystericalbonding9 points10 points  (8 children) | Copy

I'll start lifting in November

Until you get access to weights, /r/bodyweightfitness. Consider HIIT running, bike, or burpees. Take it out on the weights. Stress can drive physical and mental performance or hinder it - you decide which.

Make sure protein intake is high, and aim for 8+ hours of sleep. Recovery is going to be a bitch.

[–]ShitBeta1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

Don't get me wrong, I'll still be working out, just not have any access to heavy weights. It sucks but the hotels in Mexico and Ireland don't exactly have awesome gyms.

[–]Tiway2213 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow you’re really good at finding excuses. No wonder you’re a bitch and your wife doesn’t respect you.

Man the fuck up and stop telling yourself you can’t.

[–]6TimesDown7TimesUp3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

You make over 200k a year?

Buy your own cage, plates, and bars. Online. Have them shipped to you. People do this regularly who make way less.

Build your own. Not shilling, but online businesses like Rogue Fitness have all this stuff.

It’s cheaper than the gym. Will pay for itself easy in a year or two.

[–]jcrptaRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It will, but FFS get a personal trainer for a couple of sessions to show you how to use the weights properly.

All the online videos in the world won't correct your bad form, and if you don't correct that you'll be injuring yourself pretty regularly.

[–]mindfulbutgutlessRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Because the places don't have towns that have people who what to lift weights.... do some fucking research!

[–]wildnight98MRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

All gyms offer day rates, go local. Uber if you can't jog to it. Some local gyms are awesome and all you need is a squat rack. Also I have about half a dozen workouts designed for crappy hotel gyms depending what gear they have. Bodyweight routines that can be done in the room.1 Stop making excuses.

1 - and you can always do 500 push ups and 500 crunches in sets of ten with ten second rests.

[–]ShitBeta2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is good advice... thanks. Ireland may be a possibility but Mexico I'd rather not get shot (it's not a very low crime area) so will need to stay at the hotel gym or do what you suggested on the push ups/crunches.

[–]wildnight98MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

r/bodyweightfitness has what they call “the recommended routine” (“RR”). Pretty challenging and great for strength development, but not hypertrophy IMO. Great for situations Ike yours.

[–]FoxShitNasty839 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Lifting heavy shit and un-fucking my diet enabled me to come off numerous medications including antidepressants for anxiety and panic. Lifting strengths your mind as well as your body do it... like yesterday. Ask mates who may lift already and be able to help you out. Find a lifting gym I have a dirty old warehouse near me full of lifting stuff and it's cheap every one is friendly and spots when you ask.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Same here. I was a nervous little pile of shit, but I unfucked myself out of a need for drugs with lifting, diet, and sleep. Then take your time and incorporate all the new knowledge.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Chill the fuck out. This isn't a Sprint, it's a marathon.

You make 200k a year, in November when you start lifting invest some money in a competent strength and conditioning coach.

Welcome to the party.


[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

Is she putting out (with you)?

“a lot of hand holding”

Don’t think so fag.

[–]ShitBeta2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Hand holding was a bad use of terms... more like I need my ass kicked.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

“need my ass kicked”.

You’re in the right the place for that.

You need to start working on your anxiety attacks. Stop telling her about those, she doesn’t fucking care. Make it look effortless- law 30.

Each time you bring up your problems, even going to therapy (rightfully so, you lost a child) but you lose value in her eyes. That’s how she interprets it. She needs a leader. Suffer quietly by yourself. Don’t share.

She needs to be lead by a strong unapologetic alpha male. You must become one. Dude, you’re making bank too, work on your inner and outter Game, you’ll be a bad ass.

[–]weakandsensitive6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

No. You need to hold your own fucking hand and kick your own ass.

This needy, whiny, "woe is me" because <blah blah blah> bullshit is fucking pathetic. Take ownership and be a source of strength instead of the sniveling pile of shit you're portraying right now.

3 business trips out of the country with no access to a gym

are you really that useless that you can't find a solution? what kind of stupid fuck company pays you 200k?

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah you right.

[–]ShitBeta1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

6-7 x a month but she's not as into it as she once was.

[–]light-----------dark5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Found a gym in Mexico for you. Obviously it’s probably not where you’ll be, but you get the point - stop making excuses.

Meditate daily for the anxiety. Download the app Headspace, and use it every day. This shit will literally change your life.

[–]helaughsinhidden5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'll start lifting in November since I have 3 business trips out of the country with no access to a gym

I travel for work too, stick to Hotels that have gyms and look for weights. I haven't actually found free weights or a track, but you might find dumbbells. If I can't, I do pushups/situps/squats either to fail or will do some kind of 20 rep x 5 set with a 1-2 minute wait between sets.

I have no safe people to talk to, no friends outside 2 guys at work (high introvert), so likely will rely on this forum for a lot of hand holding.

Honestly, I think that's the case with most people. I try to get other's IRL to swallow the pill, but those faggots spit it back out. Best friend and brother are in early divorce stages because one is a total nice guy and the other one has a wife who constantly shit tests, he fails all of them and just gets bitter.

I get anxiety even being near my wife since I think she's going to shit test and I'll fuck it up.

Learn how to not DEER and how to DARE. I honestly think that post is one of the most useful to a beginner.

Also FOGGING with NEGATIVE ASSERTION are a pretty good 1 - 2 combo. Basically take her shit as if it's not disrespectful and repeat it back to her word for word like you think it's good advice.

[–]runnowxxx2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

i”m so sorry to hear ur son died of cancer. i”ve a young son too i can totally understand why u feel depressed.

that said, if u ask questions without doing OYS the benefits are very limited.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You have a lot on your plate. With the loss of your son and your panic attacks, therapy is the right thing. Individual therapy, not couples counselling. In your therapy sessions is a good place to talk shit out and vent your feelings. Once you get back home, do like steel says and STFU. If your wife wants to hear emotional drama and crying she'll go hang out with her relationship-trainwreck-girl-friends.

The stuff you read here all sounds to you like a magical life saver and you want to jump in head first. Slow your roll. You don't want to read all this stuff on the train home, then show up at the house and fucking goddamn well demand some fucking respect and a fucking blowjob right the fuck now. I said right the fuck now dammit! That's not going to end well. Spend the first month just reading, thinking, observing, and making slow changes inside your own mind.

When you get really angry, do 100 pushups. But do 100 a day anyways. Install a pullup bar in a doorway and do one every time you go through the door. And get your ass to the gym. Read up on lifting programs like starting strength/stronglifts Use the hotel gym while you're travelling. Bring runners and gym clothes.

Meditation is also a great way to start getting out of your own head. It sounds like you spend a lot of time there, and that tends to just reinforce existing negative patterns, like anxiety, low self esteem, and bad relationship habits. Headspace and Buddhify are pretty highly rated apps to help get your feet wet.

Some classic posts you should read:

twelve steps of dread take special note of the idea that this is a process taking a year or so easily.

owning the shit out of panic attacks seemed particularly relevant

Edit: and read every thing in strategos ' post history, not just the panic attack one.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'll start lifting in November

I stopped reading after this. I find it hard to believe you can’t find gyms wherever you go, especially at your income.

You want to change but you are making excuses before you even start.

[–]bowhunter62 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. I travel all over for work, there is a gym in almost every fucking city, town, village I go. Plus there are public parks where you can run, do pullups, elevated push-ups, etc. Quit bullshitting yourself and us.

[–]FlyingSexistPig2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's all going to work out.

The formula is quite simple. You're going to make sure your wardrobe looks good on you. You're going to go to the gym when you can (and do pushups when you can't).

You're going to get your diet under control to reduce your body fat. I recommend the keto diet. It's magic (/r/keto has thousands of success stories with it). Cardio weight loss alone will probably bounce back unless your eating is under control.

That's it.

That's all you have to do.

To avoid the shit tests, give your wife something to do. It's okay that losing your 4 year old caused you indescribable grief. Sure, leaning on your wife for support was wrong (it was worse for her already, without having to support you). But that's in the past, and you're moving forward. What does your wife have in her life to get her over the grief of her son? Is she a SAHM, or does she work?

An example of what I mean by leading her: If she stays at home, tell her about the keto diet, and get her to start making you keto friendly food. There are a million recipes, and finding the right replacements for common items is a task that she can really apply herself to. It can occupy her and give her a sense of accomplishment, as it helps you.

[–]ShitBeta0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

She's SAHM to my 4 and 9 year old daughters. I've encouraged her to write a blog, decorate the house, garden, etc which helps occupy her.

[–]FlyingSexistPig0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Those are great general things that she can do. But those are big things that require a high level of executive brain function. They are marginally more useful than "keep yourself busy, make the house nicer."

Limit the scope of what she has to do instead. That can occupy her in a much more focused way. Instead of "garden", focus your directions a lot more. "Honey, I'd like you to replant the front garden. I want three different kinds of plants: one kind that looks good in the spring, one that looks good in the summer, and one that blooms late to look good for fall." This lets her focus her attention on three specific tasks. She gets to make the small decisions about which plants, exactly, would look good, but you've given her the outline of what would please you. This thing, pleasing you, is the ultimate goal of your directions. Yes, it keeps her busy, but you've told her exactly what she has to do to please you, and this is important to her. She's a wreck because your son dying is her fault (in her own mind). She must have done something wrong (she's thinking, but she can't say this for fear that someone, somewhere might agree with her), and you must think her a terrible wife and mother for letting this happen.

Give her direction of what she can do to please you. And when she does, rail her until her eyes roll back in her head. Trust me, the shit tests will stop immediately and she'll be a million times happier too.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

So listen bro, I'm a pretty tough dude. I've shown that through diagnosis after diagnosis, procedure after procedure, surgery after surgery, treatment after treatment.

Some really, really tough shit. Some unpleasant shit.

Think tough and then think tougher. Think unpleasant and then think unbearable.

I've made it through all of it, somehow, and I've even become stronger as a result.

But there's one thing - only one fucking thing - in the entire universe of things - that would be - in my mind - harder than what I've been through and more scary - and maybe even damn near impossible - or close to it - for me.

And that's what you've been through.

I didn't even read any comments, though I saw steel replied and he's super solid - without even knowing it at the time he (along with stoney) - got me through hell - so he's surely giving you good advice.

But I've just read your first three sentences. That third sentence is a bitch man. The biggest bitch of all.

Regardless of how much you work on yourself, this place - much moreso MRP and OYS - will help - you need to give yourself time and attention for sentence three. Don't let it defeat you, but acknowledge and own it and understand that it's your own personal cross to bear.

Get past that mountain, man.

Keep climbing.

Honor yourself and honor your little man.

Be a better man for you.

Be a better man for him.

p.s. And with that said take caution paying too much heed to anonymous homos telling you to be less emotional, be more strong, etc.... let them try walking in your fucking shoes for a day and see how that works.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

no access to a gym

The fuck is wrong with doing push-ups, pull-ups, burpees, etc? If you make up excuses in life as much as you do in a single victim-puke, there's no wonder why you feel like a bitch. You are one.

I have no safe people to talk to...

Spoken like a true woman. Women need to "talk out their feelings". Men don't talk. They get shit done. Look at yourself in the mirror. Smack yourself for being such a pussy all these years and say goodbye to that faggot you once knew. The time for fucking around stops now.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I can't imagine outliving any of my kids. Sorry for your loss.

Get some real help and get off this sub until you do.

[–]ShitBeta0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This happened 2 and a half years ago... brutal brain cancer. It was tough... really tough. Was in therapy - got help - started to realize a lot of shit about myself in the meantime that lead me here.

Yeah it sucks, but it happened and I can't change that. Life has to go on.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

I am so sorry. I know it can be rough. If people only understood what it is we men go through. No one to suck our dick 24/7. I hear brojobs are a thing these days. Maybe look into that.

Would a hug once in a while kill anyone? and seriously why can't I just have a bad day and sit on the couch in my jammies watching The View?

Guys have feelings right?!

Fuck. You are some kind of faggot. I mean if MRP gave out Faggot of the Year awards you'd earn it for this year and next Well runner up because I am sure Steve still wins it this year.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I want that award. It's fucking mine.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

so likely will rely on this forum for a lot of hand holding

these usernames you guys come up with ffs. are you proud of that? is that what you aspire to?

hello, my name is faggot . . . please call me faggot. faggot.

i guess it says a lot about your mindset. change your mindset.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

these usernames you guys come up

I think that too. I am betting most look at mine and go. Fuck I want a cool one when I grow up and can look back.

Here's my secret. Mine is actually Red Five. From star wars? Luke's call sign only Red Five was taken and I didn't want Red Five334838298

So yeah. That's myself secret cool name.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I’m not the son of Zeus but am a pupil of Zeno

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

And Ricky, OP is the shitBeta! flying around with the shitbirds, waiting for you and Jullian.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

TIL stoic history.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I used to take triple the recommended dose of caffeine a day. Would have 42mg worth of nicotine patches on at the same time.

Been sleep deprived for 12 years avg 4hr a night. Ended up developing panic attack disorder. Got so bad I once curled into a ball on the floor and my wife held me and nurtured me. She would tell me everythings alright and hold me. I quit caffeine and nicotine cold turkey. No longer let my wife make me feel safe or hold me like a faggot.

I still get occasional attack if i don't get enough sleep but managing them with positive thoughts and deep breathing does wonders.

Don't think will I fail this shit test if she tests me. Focus on i will pass this test cause I'm a man and I will succeed showing her I'm capable.
Fuck anxiety don't let it control you. Control healthy food choices to keep blood sugar from spiking or dropping and get good sleep and excersie. Anxiety will go down for sure.

[–]ShitBeta2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow this sounds very similiar to be.. especially in the past 2 years where I would look for reassurance that everything would be ok and we'd get through this. Call her if I was travelling and had one to get reassurred... I stopped doing this (and talking about any emotions) for the past month and i can see a difference already - this was before finding MRP. This helps... thanks for your post.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What have I gotten myself into? You have found what you needed, and you know it's true.

[–]BlackFire680 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Why are you scared?

You could lose your marriage... is that it? You have a good job, income, etc.

So, worst case is alimony, child support, visitation. Now, work from there. Many of us dealt with (deal with) that and still hold our heads high.

[–]ShitBeta0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

More so the impact on the kids. I don’t want to put them through a divorce after losing their brother. There’s enough emotional drama for them to deal with already with that.

[–]SepeanRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I get anxiety even being near my wife since I think she's going to shit test and I'll fuck it up.

You’ve been fucking up shit tests your entire life, it’s completely irrelebant that you’ll fuck up for a few months more. Just learn to understand them a bit better every day, get closer to passing them. Just STFU and smirk for now, that works 99% of the time.

I can't unread what I've read and am in a bit of a panic mode of where the hell does life go from here? What can I do to chill the fuck out - I think hearing from people who've gone through this helps but they're further down the process and actually started shit

This shit works like you wouldn’t believe. But just relax. It’s like you find some new thing for your work that will save you a bundle once it’s implemented, but it’ll take 6 months to get everyone up to speed on it. Do you freak out that it isn’t working right now? No, you just do the work to get it running over the coming months.

[–]ShitBeta0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your example is spot on. Based on the levels of dread I’ve fucked this up for around 15 years so should expect at least that long to right the ship. Small continuous improvements.

[–]ColumbusCrewFan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

no friends outside 2 guys at work (high introvert),

OP, get into playing sports with other men. It's great exercise and you'll meet new friends. Just don't do couples friends (your wife becomes friends with your friend's wife) because everything you tell him will get back to your wife.

[–]becoming_alpha0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I get anxiety even being near my wife since I think she's going to shit test and I'll fuck it up.

SSS is spot on. STFU. But you missed one important book on how to STFU when you started the sidebar: WISNIFG. You need fogging, negative assertion, and negative inquiry in your toolbox. Once you have those down, you don't need to worry about shit tests. You might not hit them out of the park, but you'll have the tools to not fail. Read the book, but here's the key skills you need, and you don't need to be scared of your wife anymore.

WISNIFG TL;DR Summary of Assertive Skills

Broken Record (verbal persistence) – keep saying what you want over and over again in a calm repetitive voice, without getting angry, irritated, or loud

“I want x” repeated as many times as needed

Workable Compromise – Whenever your self-respect is not in question, offer a workable compromised to the other person. Do not compromise a matter of self-worth

Self-Disclosure – Assertively disclosing information about yourself – how you think and feel. Make sure body language is congruent, eye contact. Can also be a neutral inquiry, just trying to understand

Fogging – Agree with the truths in non-assertive criticism. Agree with actual truths about you and your behavior and admit mistakes or errors. For arbitrary right/wrong judgments tacked on to criticism, agree with the odds or principle (there’s always a grain of truth). Don’t respond to anything implied.

Agree with actual truth: That’s true, that’s right… I could, should x

Agree with the odds/principal – for something that’s possible: you could be right, maybe you’re right, that’s probably true, I guess you’re right, you may be right, I understand why you think that, I see why you think that

Negative Assertion – Assertively accept and own (via self-disclosure) your errors and negative points. Share true feelings we assume we should hide: dislikes, worry, ignorance, desires, and fears.

I did do x, what a very stupid/dumb/inefficient/wasteful/unproductive thing to do, I didn’t handle that well, I messed that up, I goofed, that was a dumb thing I did

Negative Inquiry – prompting criticism – inquire into structure of right/wrong structure in criticism, and ask for more information wrong/bad about your behavior. The critical issue can then be out in the open to find workable compromise.

I don’t understand, what is it about x that is bad/wrong/you don’t like? What am I doing specifically that’s x? What else is wrong or what don’t you like about me doing x?

[–]ShitBeta0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Perfect. I had this book next in my list of reading. So she’s been all mad about something all day. Barely talking to me. I’ve just ignored it but it sucks right now. I’ll stay true and just stfu for now.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Was at the condo in florida, gym has no free weights due to insurance, still hit the machines harder than hell. Then, stayed in hotels on the way home and there, guess what ? CRUSHED IT. Start lifting tonight

No one and I mean no one can fault you for beta or even omega after losing a child

Anxiety is driven by lack of mission, loss of focus and mostly from making excuses of what you really want.

[–]ShitBeta0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Great news. The gym in the hotel in Ireland has some weights. Mexico tbd. This forum is the shit I need.

I appreciate the sentiment on being beta but I fault myself. Time to move on and fix it.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So where in the fuck can you go today ?

[–]milkeway610 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Order a suspension system like the TRX from Amazon. I pack one on all my trips because most gyms suck. Suspension training is a humbler for everyone. There is no excuse for not training unless you are dead.

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

“Breath Neo, breath...”

Don’t DO a lot of stuff now (other than lifting). Instead absorb, read and observe (your wife, other women, coworkers.). You’re in danger of talking or acting stupid. Give it more time to all settle in. Make slow, small changes with a purpose in mind.

[–]470_2_700_nm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I need to parse this out brother:

1) I’m very sorry for the loss of your son. This here: get professional help on this, hide it from your wife if you can. She and you need to process this together, and separately. I can’t offer coaching on this - but a professional can help YOU do this. I’m sorry man.

2) The rest of your story isn’t different from most men here. Slow the fuck down, don’t go Rambo, and start lifting. Fuck your reasons for not lifting till November. Got any other reasons you can’t lift till later? Fuck them too. If you can’t get to the gym in the next month mother fucker, tell me you will 100 push-ups in the morning or evenings. Don’t get overwhelmed with this stuff. Just read, internalize, calibrate, post on own your shit if you need...

[–]SaintJohnRakehell0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Some practical ways to deal with anxiety:

Practice a laser focus on the now. If you are brushing your teeth, make it the most thorough, focused toothbrushing you've ever had. Can be done with any activity, doesn't matter how mundane or absorbing it is, this helps to keep you from freaking out about the future, be it the next five minutes or next year.

Avoid high glycemic foods: sugar, bread, corn.

Caffeine? nope.

You will fuck up shit tests. So what? Pass the next one. Just keep moving.

I can only imagine how devastating losing your son must have been. Sorry you don't have someone in the physical to talk to. Might be good to make finding someone a priority. I really hope we can help as much as possible.

[–]Reject4440 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Calm down. So emotional and sniveling; you sound like Brett Kavanaugh. Everything is going to be okay—it’s overwhelming at first and there is a ton of new info here for you but this is a long journey and you need to take it one step at a time. Read. Lift. Fix your wardrobe, your grooming, your weight and BF% (if needed). But don’t try to do it all right away. Take your time and make a plan, with realistic and achievable short-term and long-term goals. Don’t freak out. You’ve got this, and there are lots of dudes here who are willing to help us.

[–]ploppylumpkins-2 points-1 points  (18 children) | Copy

All the comments I read are from married dip shit wanna be chads. The making yourself better points are good ones and they are right about your wife not giving a shit about you but for fucks sake you lost a child to cancer!

Fuck you MRP. What a bunch of chumps. All these “tough guys” are blue pill bitches trying to make there wife want to fuck them again.

You know it’s a shame that TRP was banned because it was super helpful but MRP is blue pilled as fuck and then on top of it giving a guy the “faggot” treatment when he’s lost a kid!?!? Fuck you.

OP work on yourself and forget your wife she doesn’t mean shit because AWALT but don’t look up to these married simps. Get a divorce and live for yourself from now on.

MRP you make me sick.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

MRP you make me sick

Please puke now and go away.

Maybe you can get banned....fucking permanently for all this bleeding fucking heart concern trolling.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (16 children) | Copy


When you meet him in mexico to lick his asshole, be sure to give him a reach around tug..

[–]ploppylumpkins-2 points-1 points  (15 children) | Copy

Sometimes this crap is warranted. Not this time. The only faggot here is you. Married simp.

[–]hystericalbonding1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

It's hard to imagine why your ex cheated on you.

[–]ploppylumpkins-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

If you think your wife isn’t cheating on you you’ve learned nothing from TRP.

[–]hystericalbonding2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Self-fulfilling prophecies amuse me. We should keep you. I shall call you squishy, and you will be my squishy.

[–]ploppylumpkins0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

So your wife is a NAWALT unicorn?

[–]hystericalbonding2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yep, I like when she sticks her horn in my ass. She lifts me up so I can feel really tall.

[–]ploppylumpkins0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol nice.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

Omg... so edgy.

Fuck you and the weak bitch ass men you relate to and commiserate with.

Go get cheated on some more.

[–]ploppylumpkins-2 points-1 points  (7 children) | Copy

Lol nice. So how’s your wife? Still getting sloppy seconds from her? Hahahahaha!

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

If you have to laugh at your own jokes, they aren't funny.

[–]ploppylumpkins0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Look man I was married too. I get the tough love angle for this forum. Normally I’m all for it. But this is different. Have you lost a child to cancer? Can you even begin to imagine what that’s like?

If it was just some guy saying boo hoo my wife won’t fuck me, calling him a faggot and busting his chops is fine. But ffs his situation is different. That’s all I’m saying.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Give him a hug, suck his dick, and finger his asshole if you care that much.

Maybe send him some flowers. Try 1-800-FLOWERS

There are tens of millions of other weak assholes out there with their unique special stories. And all of their approaches are the same - weak, timid, and ineffective. Fuck em.

If this bitch can't take random faggots on the internet being mean to him, how in the world do you think he's going to have the fortitude to do it in any situation that matters?

kid to cancer

Does it suck? It absolutely sucks - but the reality of the world, fair or unfair, is that men who cry, whine, and pout are not looked upon kindly. There is nothing that will ostracize a man further than weeping out of weakness - unless you're already a soyboy looking faggot. As a man, you get a limited amount of time to mourn, and then you have to move on and figure it out because the world moves on. You do not get to use the shittiest things in life as an excuse - irrespective of how shitty they may have been.

For example - if you're going on a date and you say "my ex-wife cheated on me", you might get a response of "poor you", but the thought process will always be what did this loser do to get cheated on. That's how the world works. Embrace it.

[–]ploppylumpkins0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Dude are you a closet fag? All you talk about is gay stuff.

Look I get what you are saying man. I gave him my advice. Work on yourself. Forget your wife AWALT. Get a divorce and live for yourself.

My point is sometimes when someone has suffered a great loss the “don’t be a faggot” approach is not the correct one.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I talk about gay stuff when I'm talking to gay people.

[–]Frosteecat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

But divorcing his wife is a correct one? That'll make everybody perk right up at his house I bet.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2021. All rights reserved.

created by /u/dream-hunter