659,329 posts

For those of you who have been married for 15+ years and have never been divorced, what advice would you in particular give to a man considering marriage?

by ayeitsurboylomein | October 02, 2018 | askMRP

19 upvotes

Reddit View

/r/askMRP/comments/9ktlyg/for_those_of_you_who_have_been_married_for_15/


Post Information
Title For those of you who have been married for 15+ years and have never been divorced, what advice would you in particular give to a man considering marriage?
Author ayeitsurboylomein
Upvotes 19
Comments 38
Date 02 October 2018 07:10 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203947
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9ktlyg/for_those_of_you_who_have_been_married_for_15/
Similar Posts

TRP terms found in post
Click to open them on Dictionary

Comments

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret32 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy

  • Marry only if raising a family is an important personal goal.

  • Marry someone you like, desire, and respect, as well as love.

  • Marry someone who desires, respects, and likes you, as well as loves you.

  • Marry only with the intention and honest expectation of continued personal improvement in all areas. You haven't "won" her and "earned" the perpetual right to her desire, respect, and affection; if you become a less worthy man, expect her to treat you accordingly.

  • Excellence in one area doesn't offset sucking in another.

[–]askmeanything275 points76 points  (4 children) | Copy

The only reason to marry is to have kids. If you are not having kids anytime soon, putting a ring on it reduces your value to her, counter-productive. Having kids is a 20+ year venture, and you need to vet your partner.

Determine how she will be as the mother of your children. Kind? Drinker? Teach? Party? Energetic? Careless? Patient? Lazy?

Determine how she will be in your venture partnership? Common values? Opinionated? Trustworthy? Bails? Giver? Taker?

Determine how she will be 20+ years of a lover? Fun? Stress? Ages well? Saggy? Fit? Whale family? Erotic? Uptight?

Determine if she listens to you.

Determine if she respects you.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

“putting a ring on it reduces your value“

^ This

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]redwall9212 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

Some advice I'll be giving my children on both sides of the coin.

Be a man that is doing something in life and wants to do something in life; don't let life happen to you. Wanting to have a family is not enough for a man. If you're a man who lets life happen to you, then don't get married.

Look for a woman who wants more out of life than to simply get away from something .. her parents' house for example. If she simply wants to get away from her parents' house, then any authority structure moving forward will be null and void.

[–]BlackFire684 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you're a man who lets life happen to you, then don't get married

yep

[–]paterfamilias7823 points24 points  (1 child) | Copy

Know what qualities you are looking for in a wife. (Not girlfriend qualities, WIFE qualities.) Not even what you are looking for NOW, but what you will want 10, 20, 30 years from now.

You might think that little qualities such as good household management, level-headed humility, and self-discipline are good things for a girlfriend to have, but they are actually NECESSARY things for a wife to have.

Where do you want to be in 30 years? Do you want to have a trim partner, money, and well-raised children? Find a woman with self-control, household management, and the ability to be a good mother.

Also, know what qualities you will need to have in yourself to make this happen and work on them NOW. Don't wait until your problems are threatening the marriage before you work on them.

[–]Grey99612 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't.

[–]albus_scirocco15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (4 children) | Copy

18+ married.
Look for wife material as others have said. 1) Good with kids... likes kids 2) Demonstrates good mothering skill-set 3) A woman that you can spend quiet time with and not be annoyed by her, because you have compatible personalities. Make sure she is a good companion. 4) good cook 5) good housekeeper 6) Sexually available to you 7) Attractive or at least attractive to you 8) No debt 9) citizenship 10) Obedient 11) Educated and provides a cash-flow 12) Trust her to get stuff done with minimal supervision (ideally none) 13) No-feminist (that's just anti-family shit there) 14) No weird personality disorders needing medication 15) Good genetics for healthy kids.
16) Stable family life 17) Proximity of immediate family. Do you want them in your life or not?

[–]Grimsterr1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Haha good lord, talk about a unicorn!

[–]EternallyRed15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

That isn’t a unicorn. Don’t let your standards slip.

[–]Grimsterr2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've been married going on 25 years, but hell my own wife pretty much fails #4 and #11.

Luckily I'm basically the redneck Iron Chef and while she works as a teacher's aide and has for over a decade, she barely earns enough to pay the taxes on my salary.

Oh #16 haha yeah not even going there, me and her old man had a heart to heart when she was still 17 damn near 30 years ago, he saw the logic of my argument. Her mom's batshit and always has been, being molested by her own dad basically broke her from the beginning.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

My wife meets nearly all of that criteria. It's choosing well, not finding unicorns.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Lots of good and lots of terrible beta shit.

Carve out your mission, stay focused with your vision of your reality and press forward.

A cold hearted mother in law is exactly what you will get at the age. Don’t ever forget that. Exactly what you see is what you will get

I never let myself go. I refuse to get fat and lazy, 25 years later I’m still blowing loads in her mouth

YMMV

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't get married.

Think hard about having kids, because they are a lifetime commitment, even if you and their mother part ways.

A fat, lazy, poor man won't make it today, regardless of what he may know about the nature of women. Choice is ubiquitous to women, and they receive no rebuke from any segment of society for ignoring vows or treating them as temporary (I will honor you, for now).

Vet everyone, not just women, with whom you spend your valuable time. What men mostly fail to understand, is that your wedding day is your baseline. You can never be worse than that day, or your union stands zero chance.

[–]creating_my_life2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be willing to walk away. Every moment of every day. And make sure she knows it. Once she feels like you won't leave, she won't try any more.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

advice to a man considering marriage

Don't.

[–]FlyingSexistPig5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I have a very serious question for you.

Why, exactly, do you want to get married?

[–]The_LitzRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Vetting is acomplex process. To make it easier:

If she refers to her father as a credible source in conversations.

"My father says xyz".

If her father is a good man (not a nice guy), this bodes well for you.

In time she will be saying

"My husband says"

She is comfortable with traditional gender roles and probably won't protest topless in the street with purple hair screaming "Fuck the patriarchy"

This does not take the place of other vetting processes, but it is a good start.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everyone giving you serious answers about how to vet women are giving you false hope.

You might listen to these guys, and they might even give you the secret to finding an "old books" woman. Even if you do, there is still a problem:

Getting married is living under the Sword of Damocles. Divorce courts favor women, and public sentiment is solidly in their corner as well. You give up all your power and get nothing in return by getting married.

Whatever you think marriage means to you, it doesn't mean that to her. Don't do it.

[–]MrPurplePoison1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't do it.

If you stay the course with MRP principles you may be able to weather the 2-3 year "disinterest" of a woman's commitment a few times but you will have to be constantly, and I mean CONSTANTLY passing tests. You will, at some point, be having to make an escape strategy so you don't end up homeless. That and the wall.

If you are doing it for kids think about what the world will be like in 20 years with rising oceans and tempatures. Famine, wars, antibiotic resistant diseases, zero privacy due to ever expanding "big data". Couple that with you being the only adult in the house for most of their childhood and you having to not only raise them but also undo any programming they get from their mother. Assuming you get custody.

Marriage is a business arrangement. And in no scenario today do you even break even.

[–]red-pill-man0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't.

[–]470_2_700_nm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If she’s not into anal now MRP will show you the way... in fifteen years.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (6 children) | Copy

How about the only advice you need?: READ ALL THE SIDEBAR MATERIAL.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2020. All rights reserved.

created by /u/dream-hunter