GET OUT NOW or STAY? Pill taken!

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October 2, 2018

Glad i found RP. I've subscribed to some of these methods without knowing there was a system for it. I'm currently consuming the RP youtube playlist and have some books next in line. Starting with no more mr. nice guy.

I'm 6'1" 165lb, slim, fit, successful. I am always hitting the gym or the beach to work out or yoga. That's where i met my STBE.

Married for 4 months, together for 3 years. At the moment she left me and is living with her friend. Left her ring at home, we had a "perfect" marriage on the outside. She comes from a Christian family and her dad is a pastor. He threw this big wedding for her and they told the world they prayed for me and I arrived. Her parents are lawnmower parents and do a lot for her. She has always had someone come in and fix most of her problems for her. That's one of the big issues that she might of made decisions for her parents not her

At the moment she says she's confused about the marriage if she wants to stay in it. She's staying with her friend and i'm basically in limbo at home with all of our photos and our cats of the "perfect marriage we had". It blows sometimes but as time passes I am learning that I actually like having my man cave back. I've made my office my living room and work on a 60" flatscreen tv.

I took some of those pictures down because it's hurts and I tend to get all sad. I recently started re intergrating myself back into social groups meeting and connecting with other people. We're going to "cousneling" tomorrow wednesday and my intention is to save the marriage. Hers is so we can communicate better and not be resentful. Which throws me for a loop because i'm not paying for something just so we're friends after a divorce. I could care less what happens after she decides she made a wrong choice.

I'm obviously trapped by her frame and i try to create my own but every time we talk I fall into hers. Also her parents love me and i love them. Being pastors they encourage me to be patient and woo her again how I did in the beginning. I konw that this behavior comes from a few different places. Self preservation of their family and reputation. Their daughters mental health, they know it's a mistake and she will regret it for the rest of her life.

She's basically leaving a good successful, desireable husbad. I'm failing in ways that are apparent right now that i'm absorbing RP content.

Last communication:

Me: Good morning, I love you and my heart misses you

Her: Hey good morning :) I've been thinking a lot about us (obviously), and i miss you. But i hope that doesn't make it confusing. I feel the most alone I've felt since i left and i'm trying to figure out if i miss you because i'm lonely or i really miss being with you. It's hard to differentiate and i'm sorry for putting you through all of this.

RP principals tell me to, focus one me, keep a positive strong masculine dominant frame. Looking for any pointers or advice on any of the above. Don't hold back please let it rip!

Post Information
Title GET OUT NOW or STAY? Pill taken!
Author moxy2016
Upvotes 6
Comments 52
Date 02 October 2018 06:54 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret19 points20 points  (4 children) | Copy

If you are only 4 months in and this shit is happening you may look back at it as a blessing. You can pick up the pieces and move on.

Why did she leave? You mention finding RP and other things, but I have a hard time believing that becoming a beta caused her to leave 3 months after getting married. What aren't you telling us?

You will deny it, but I wouldn't be surprised if her "friends house" is a potential branch swing. I don't care if her parents are pastors. She may be trying to make sure she sticks the landing before walking out for good.

Edit: I just read one of your other posts about her without her wedding ring clubbing and acting single. Sorry dude, but you need to move on. A woman that can flip a switch like that is not wife material. Read the sidebar. This sort of thing won't happen to you again because you will never put yourself in a similar situation.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would tell you to drop this chick like a flaming bag of shit, but I know your pussy ass won't do it. Oneitis is a powerful disease and it's got you bad. Thankfully for you there is a cure. Here's what I would do: - lift more, eat more. At 6'1" and 165lbs, you are a skinny bitch. Bulk up. Become a fucking Viking. - Acquire plates. At least 2. Strange pussy is a great remedy for oneitis. - Cancel the counseling appointment. Tell your "wife" that you won't be going. Do not provide her with a reason. - do not text your wife or contact her ever again. Let her come to you - stop being such a fag. "My heart misses you"??? Fuck that's gay. Ever hear of the rule of 2/3rds? For you it is now the rule of 1/8ths. Make your wife earn your approval. Between your lifting routine and your two new plates, you shouldn't have much time or attention to pay her. And no matter how bad she comes crawling back (if she ever does) keep in mind she has demoted herself to plate status.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

Get out and don't look back. She's staying with her "friend" so she can go home with whatever random Chad(s) that she wants. She's getting her alpha fix regularly while she shops around for a better longterm deal. If she can't find one, she "comes to her senses" and "decides to make the marriage work" with you (until the next time). You're falling right into line on this...

"It blows sometimes but as time passes I am learning that I actually like having my man cave back"

This is how she convinces you later on that when she was out fucking random dudes, she was really doing it for you!

"We're going to "cousneling" tomorrow wednesday and my intention is to save the marriage."

Of course it is. Plan B(eta) is the safe, reliable option that will always be there. Bring some flowers with you... that should get her back.

"Hers is so we can communicate better and not be resentful."

This translates roughly to you giving her diplomatic immunity for all the heads of state she swallowed during her little sabbatical. It also means "manning up" and taking care of any additional passengers she brings home with her.

I'm going to be as blunt as I can. She doesn't respect you, isn't attracted to you, and doesn't see you as a man. You're a household appliance, something with utility. Something that might require occasional maintenance but is otherwise an afterthought.

Get out before she anchors you down with a couple kids that may or may not be yours.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

man cave

Shit, I missed this. I'm not the kind of guy to have "pet peeves", since that inherently puts you in somebody else's frame, but if I did have one, the "Man Cave" would be it. What a sad state of affairs we have when men have allowed their wives to force them into a single room where they are "allowed" to act like "men", and on top of it they don't act like men, they act like overweight balding teenagers. Sitting around playing video games, watching other men follow their dreams (getting paid fat cash to play a game), eating shit food and watching shitty ass TV shows on HBO because they get to see the occasional boob...

I have a man cave, it is called every square fucking inch of my house.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oma jesus you fucking nailed that man cave thing

[–]markpf7313 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sounds like she’s navigating a branch swing.

When did she become confused - after she realized you’re a pussy or after Chad pounded hers?

[–]gameoflibidos1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with this, .. OP never really described exactly why she left... but this general description and her conversation sounds exactly like this.

OP... assume its over and move on with fixing yourself, don't get back into any LTR's for a long time, a good while after you feel like you have truly internalized all MRP has to offer.

[–]nightmancommeth11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

My Advice

Cut off all communication. Just keep her guessing. Its hard but if she wants to come back she will. That good morning BS is as beta as it can get. You can reply to her but dont use emotions and dont discuss anything other than logistics. No good night texts etc. You have given her all the power.

This: "Hey good morning :) I've been thinking a lot about us (obviously), and i miss you. But i hope that doesn't make it confusing. I feel the most alone I've felt since i left and i'm trying to figure out if i miss you because i'm lonely or i really miss being with you. It's hard to differentiate and i'm sorry for putting you through all of this."

This translated is I want to keep you around just incase I cant find anything better.

I was in a similar situation and the best thing i ever did was get a divorce. I married a second time years later it has been everything I ve ever wanted out of a relationship.

[–]KingSlapFight1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

That good morning BS is as beta as it can get.

Fucking this. She pulls some out of bounds, divorce causing bullshit, and he texts "I love you hunny bunny!!!!1!"

She gave the courtesy of leaving the ring, to let him know exactly what she thinks of the commitment. Count it as a blessing that she's being so upfront. If she comes back, realize it's because her branch swing didn't work out, and she will try to swing again. Tell her no thanks, you like things better now, and wish her luck in her life.

[–]nightmancommeth1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The best option is always the nuclear option in these cases. She either wises up or leaves. No dragging it out and if she does come back it’s on your terms.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here let me summarize it for you:

She married you because you ticked off her parents list, you said it yourself “they prayed for you and you arrived”.

You were a resource to her (make mom and dad happy) and them (they got a “good guy” to marry her) and that’s all.

To top it all off you bore her, and don’t provide tingles. FFS, she’s going out clubbing without her ring. She’s sending you messages loud and clear but you’ve been oblivious to them.

Saw this happen with a close friend. It was obvious from the start that they were together because it made sense on paper but there were clearly no romantic sparks.

From a quick glance at your post history I’m going to say move the fuck on while you can.

In the meanwhile, put in the work so you don’t repeat the same mistakes in the future.

And most importantly LIFT mother fucker. 6 foot tall and 165lbs? WTF? You’re not fit, you’re fucking skinny.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Me: Good morning, I love you and my heart misses you

One more thing. Why the fuck are you initiating conversations with someone that isn't sure they want you around?

Next time you want to text her some weak shit like that, do 50 pushups instead.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just to break it down

the cunt does not care if she has broken your heart. The end

Next. Ghost the bitch. GTFO now. Do not waste time on counseling. You cannot brigade attraction or desire.

You have been made a fool of. Time to put an end to it.

You should be spewing anger, but look at it as a blessing.

Look up rule 7 when you get soft

Frame- your life, your mission your goals. Next LTR, “I don’t like your friends.... “ you point to the door.

This is a great step into reality of killing the oneitis and unicorn bullshit.

Kick the cunt to the curb and come to grips of reality.

Clubbing and selfies after 4 months of marraige. Low value. Beyond trailer trash low quality .

(Yes. I know. Me spewing hatred)

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

You were a good boyfriend/fiancé , but as a husband her hypergamy finally snapped her into her senses.

You are trapped in her frame, and her frame is rejecting you by abandoning the marriage house.

Let her go ride the CC and be free. Your turn is over.

[–]470_2_700_nm8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

I bet she is 26. Go fuck another slut because she is likely doing the same.

Your “I love you I miss you” is the exact opposite of may attract her back.

You are pathetic. I can relate. Listen to the boys here.

[–]470_2_700_nm8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

And cancel the counseling appointment. It’s a waste of time.

[–]wkndatbernardus7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not sure who tunes more meat whistles, you or her. My money was on her until I read this:

"My heart misses you".

Are you even aware of you faggadotiousness? Damn, no wonder she's branch swinging like Rafiki.

[–]hystericalbonding7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Read the Manipulated Man and The Book of Pook. You're skinny and feminine. She wanted to marry a man. Even if this marriage fails, you need skills for the next girl.

[–]Nuwanda2062 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The Manipulated Man will totally change the way you look at her, you’ll start using your brain instead of your “feelings” to approach this.

[–]wkndatbernardus6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dog, she's having an affair, guaranteed.

[–]MrPurplePoison9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

pffft, affair. She is banging anyone that walks by. OP needs to get tested.

[–]Frosteecat6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've got shit in my fridge older than your marriage. 4 months?!? That's utter bullshit. If be a raging hulk of bitterness if someone cucked me that hard. You need to start living like you're single. Shut. Her. Shit. Down.

[–]red-pill-man5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dump the bitch. She wanted a wedding, not a marriage.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Left her ring at home... She's staying with her friend

She is out fucking guys. Can I get her number? DM it to me, please. Don't need these other bastards running game on her before I get my piece...

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do you really want to waste your time with a woman that waffles on her commitments like this. Next

[–]InChargeManRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Listen up. (You probably won't, but a man can dream)

These days marriage is dating with a bit extra paperwork. Kids is marriage. 4 months in and this shit? Don't walk away, run.

Usually the fucked up women will at least play along until their good little beta bitch will build them a comfortable life, give them some kids, etc. before pulling the plug, taking your shit and finding some other douche to sink their teeth into.

You know what would be foolish? Trying to force a shitty relationship to work and ruining the prime years of your life because it might be embarrassing to break it off.

Either your relationship is already doomed OR there is a chance it could work out in the end. In the present this doesn't matter, as it has no bearing on what you do now. This could be a shit test (actually, it probably is, but don't think of it where she KNOWS what she is doing, this is some deep down genetic shit). The best way to fail this shit test is to sit around like a fucking pussy puppy waiting for her to come back to you. OR she has other plans, is fucking Chad, whatever and you sitting around like a beta bitch waiting is just wasting your time and energy.

What are the possible outcomes from you "taking her back"? Maybe she is guzzling Chad's cum right now. Literally could be happening at this moment. Maybe he pumps and dumps her and in a month she is lonely and swings back to your sorry ass. Then you tell yourself she is "all better now" as you march towards your slow decent into beta hell and I await your next post in 5-8 years when you have a kid and she is branch swinging again.

If this is a shit test, every time you text her some stupid "I still love you" bullshit her feels for you are dying a little bit more. What would a man of value do? Would a man of value tolerate a wife of only 4 months walking out on him? Would he sit at home playing with the cat? Would he be texting her to "come home?". Hell fucking no. He would drop that dead weight ASAP and thank the heavens she isn't pregnant. Read up on sunk cost fallacy. This is your world right now.

And for gods sake, under no circumstance do you let your cum get within 3 feet of her vag. Mouth, tits and asshole are the only places you cum.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Treat this like a "starter marriage" or an aborted dry run.

Kill it with fire. Depending where you live, the union was so short, the judge might annul instead of divorce due to fraud in the inducement of the vows.

She was in it for the cash and prizes.

[–]light-----------dark3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

4 months and you’re dealing with this shit?

Can’t wait to see what you post in 5 years if you stay around.

  • Get in the gym.
  • Stop being a pussy.
  • Good luck, it sounds like you need it.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Me: Good morning, I love you and my heart misses you

Her: Hey good morning :) I've been thinking a lot about us (obviously), and i miss you. But i hope that doesn't make it confusing. I feel the most alone I've felt since i left and i'm trying to figure out if i miss you because i'm lonely or i really miss being with you. It's hard to differentiate and i'm sorry for putting you through all of this.

ME: K. Divorce papers are on the table. Please be out by Thursday.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]BirdManBrrrr3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Change some minor details and this is the same as my marriage:

Girl who wasn't ready tried to talk herself into a settled down domestic lifestyle, then realizes how boring it is and you are and decides she wants her party life back. In my case we ended it without much drama, but guess who is texting me now "I miss you... I'm so lonely...ugh I hate my life...nobody will love me again". Both my ex wife and your soon to be ex wife (hint) don't miss you, they miss your stability.

Mine was 20 months wedding to divorce. The signs started a full year before the wedding, and she went full party 4 months after the wedding: out late on "business trips", ghosting me, constantly fingerfucking her phone, dropping hints of how I'm boring, telling me I'm "not supportive of her goals" when I brought shit up. I can guess you've had similar issues and her just up and leaving wasn't the first sign of problems. BTW my wife wouldn't have pulled the plug either, she wanted her stability at home (with no responsibility) while having fun on the side on her terms only.

Same as everyone else here is saying: her behavior reveals her true intentions, you don't need more evidence continuing this is a horrible fucking idea. Consider this: If you're a newlywed and she's already pulling these stunts, what do you think the rest of your life with her is going to be like? If you want a constant struggle with a woman who doesn't actually like you, take her back and be miserable. If you want the chance at a decent, fulfilling life on your terms, GET OUT NOW and thank the lord you learned your lessons early and without kids in the mix.

I pulled the plug and it was the best decision I've made. Your time is worth more than any assets you have and you're wasting it on a low quality woman. Do it, get it overwith, and start your life anew.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

so glad to here this. would love a full oys report on birdmanbrrr v.2.0

[–]WesternhagenWinner3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Being pastors they encourage me to be patient and woo her again how I did in the beginning

Tell them that as pastors, they should instruct her to be faithful and submissive per Numbers 30:5, Ephesians 5:22-25, 1 Timothy 2:11-12, 1 Peter 3:1-6, etc. Then look at your in-laws and say brightly, "That's how it works in your household, right?"

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Remind me why you married up? I urge you to cut the cord right now. Your losses will be minimal and your learning lesson is just beginning. But if you’re sending a text message like that to a skirt that just left you, I don’t think you know what the hell you’re doing.

[–]MrPurplePoison2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is going to hurt but you have to hear it.

You are now the backup husband, a beta orbiter and she is getting off on your affection and pain. She has been sheltered her whole life and hasn't really "stretched her wings" or "lived" yet and is now doing that. The emotional high from all the attention of getting married has worn off and she is out getting her next fix: being the "bad girl" she always wanted to be, just like her friends. You just were too much in the way. But hay, at least after she gets it out of her system she can always fall back on you until she needs to explore again.

My advice to you would be to ruthlessly purge your mind of her and any reminders of her. Remember: SHE LEFT of her own free will, because she wanted to, because she didn't see you as valuable as someone outside. That is who she is and that is how she sees you. She can be replaced with someone who isn't wishy washy maybe sorta win me back while I "experience life" months after making a life long commitment. Ignore how nice her parents are, she is using them as well.

Which throws me for a loop because i'm not paying for something just so we're friends after a divorce.

Pay. Play along. Be honest about your hurt feelings. And record every conversation you have with her if you can, save and back up any text messages.

Get your finances in order. Eat. Exercise. If you are under 30 you can put on an extra dozen pounds of muscle amazingly quick. Burn those stress chemicals away. Masturbate before seeing her so you can think with the big head. You are fully tangled in her web so don't trust yourself, make decisions after a good night's sleep. And good luck.

TL;DR you are being played.

[–]djxput2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lots of good advice here. To be honest I've been on both sides here. I remember moving in with this older woman and probably felt the same way as she does scared shitless and felt like I made the wrong mistake...

Anyways ... I know it's hard to do but listen to these guys. I dated this one chick before my wife where I was like you 'begging' to have her back. Didn't help worth jack.

As some guys mentioned she may come back but how do you know she won't pull this again and as people said your finances will be more entwined and kids too. Once a kid comes into the picture it's a lot harder to figure stuff out.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Make her miss you. cut the I love you shit. Also, be aware she loves her parents more than she will ever you. Parents like that ruin their children as adults. There's no fixing it.

[–]oytrp2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You should be serving HER with divorce papers.

[–]RedPillCoach2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I feel the most alone I've felt since i left and i'm trying to figure out if i miss you because i'm lonely or i really miss being with you. It's hard to differentiate and i'm sorry for putting you through all of this.

This is pure hamsturbation on her part. Classic hamster-eeze.

Forget her words for now and let's play the game of hypotheticals.

IF you were in a position of strength. IF you had options. IF she knew you had options. IF some of your options were younger, prettier, and nicer than this woman.

THEN how do you think you would have reacted to her telling you this? What would you have said?

[–]IsThisNameAvailable86 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’d reply “since you’re so confused and I’m not i now consider us separated and will be starting to date this weekend.”

Then go out and do whatever the fuck you want.

Fuck this noise. You’re so in her frame it’s palpable from here.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Overall terrible advice. The marriage is over, but why the hell would he jeopardize his finances via divorce? He's 4 months in and has a marital income property involved. OP needs to talk to a lawyer asap.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's out looking for the BBD. Bigger and Better Deal...or if you prefer, Bigger and Better Dick.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

6’1”, 165.

Do you even lift bro?

[–]juliusstreicher0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He may be in great shape. When Royce Gracie burst onto the scene, he was 6'2" and 160. He warn't no punk.

[–]firstlight7771 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Are you listening OP? She could give two fucks about your heart. Now she knows she owns you. Don't feel bad I used to do this shit that's why I've almost been divorced three times seriously in 15 years due to me being a pussy bitch. Thank God I found RP and MRP. Now I've got her working to keep me, its the only way to be married. Keep reading sidebar, DGAF and lift lift lift. Start with NMMNG and Book of Pook.

[–]juliusstreicher1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Holy shit what a faggot! Stop texting her love messages. You need to read the sidebar ASAP!

When they say that they are confused, that means that they are looking for new dick, and she doesnt know how to tell you without looking like the whore she is.

Her family wants to put the burden onto you..."woo her as in the beginning." Why cant they tell HER "Stop being a cunt, and go live with your fucking husband."

She is terminal. Unless of course there is something substantial that you're leaving out.

[–]albus_scirocco1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You're 6'1, 165 lbs, and 'fit'.

You can pick any two of those three. Not all three, math doesn't work like that. I'm 6'1, 'fit', and 205 lbs.

You, Mr friend, are 6'1, 165, and 'frail-twiggy'. Your wife is banging someone who has arms thicker than his wrists. You do not. Start there. Your goal should be 6'1, 195 lbs, 8% body-fat.

Or, use real numbers if yours are made-up. Whatever.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Confirmed, those numbers are scary skeleton mode, not fit.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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