How did you meet your wife?

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September 29, 2018

I've been spinning plates but find it wholely unsatisfying and all too time consuming. I don't lift but run 10k every other day and do bodyweight exercises (I box). I'd like have kids one day so marriage + prenup seems like a decent solution to me.

I'd like your input on this. How did you meet your wives? How old were you? Were you RP aware? Am I being a complete idiot? Any and all additional details are welcome.

Post Information
Title How did you meet your wife?
Author DWscrub
Upvotes 11
Comments 48
Date 29 September 2018 10:54 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
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[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy

How did I meet my wife? Online dating.

How old was I? 28. Married at 30

RP aware? No, but game-aware.

Are you a idiot? No. I bet after spinning plates you find out it's just not worth it. And I bet you want to have a family someday. The problem is that Marriage 2.0 is just not a good deal for men.

I'll be straight with you - I have a really good marriage AND sex life. And still, I wouldn't advocate getting married in today's environment. You'd have to get into mutual spiritual realities here - be bonded by more than just convenience. Which I would note is a antiquated view. Such is my viewpoint.

I ran a 10k this morning at 5am, took my kid to soccer practice, cheered as he scored a goal, ran a shitton of errands (OYS on hard mode), and am relaxing with the kids while the wife makes beef stew.

It's a good life. If you vet correctly.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I forgot to add I gamed my wife and getting laid later. Good times in the Steel household.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

I have a really good marriage AND sex life.

Curious as to what brings you here...?

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I needed MRP just as much as anybody else needed MRP.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

And so the student becomes the teacher. Nice work Sensei.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Without going into details,

I was fucking her friend, I was a young natural, No, Yes.

Obligatory , lift faggot. Boxing and running are not enough.

My 42 year old ass finished leg day, then ran 8 miles 2 hours later.

[–]gameoflibidos0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

another fucking her friend here... high five bro... lol

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

I met my wife at the gym.

I don't lift but run 10k every other day and do bodyweight exercises


[–]helaughsinhidden14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

How did you meet your wives?

First, I only have the one wife and this started back in the mid 1990's. I was screwing her cousin, broke it off for a number of reasons and about a year later her and I started to be a thing. There was a strong attraction when I first met her, but didn't make the move until later. One week into it I knew we'd get married even though I was just barely 18 at the time. Was pretty alpha at the time and had become an asshole, just never to her. I wasn't RP aware then, but had a few plates going, some of them got really mad when we became exclusive. I lost all resemblance of frame within 2 years though and she punished me relentlessly for about 5 years. I fought to get some of it back and learned how to fog and when to stfu by trial and error. It was a real battle though because I had no idea what I was fighting and why it kept recurring.

Am I being a complete idiot?

Yes, without meeting you I can guarantee you are a complete idiot. Not because you want to have a family, I think that is the real solution and answer, but because you aren't lifting. When you say "spinning plates" I think what you mean is sleeping with many different woman. That is nothing compared to leading a real feminine beauty and being exclusive to each other has rewards too that go far beyond simply going easy on jealousy and insecurities.

Marriage is a lot harder too. The easy part about hooking up with randos is that if you mess up frame, you can next them or they next you and you rinse and repeat. Loose frame in an LTR or marriage and you have to fix your broken toys and clean up your messes. Kids are a blessing and a prize too and having your woman raise them up to be great is a crown that goes on your head.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I met her in a bar. While I wouldn't recommend this course of action, I would recommend getting out and talking to hundreds of women. You need to survey the landscape and see what is on offer. If you only vet 5 candidates and pick the best, you are going to end up in a shitty marriage. Only then can you really have an idea of what you want, and have the ability to get what you want. You can even pick some decent ones out of places not known for having good candidates.

It IS time consuming. I treated it like a second job. But then again, I was new in town, didn't know anyone, so I didn't have anything else to do.

[–]lionmenden7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

I posted this elsewhere but it’s relevant here.

When I met my wife, she stopped seeing anyone else, because she wasn't interested in seeing anyone else after meeting me and didn't want to jeopardize any possibility with me, such as if I saw her on a date with someone else and dumped her, even though we weren't officially exclusive for a while. I never asked her about this, she pro-offered this information, over a decade later, as an example of how much I mean to her.

How do I know this is true? When I met her, I was out with a wingman friend. He went outside to have a smoke and saw her grabbing a smoke also. He told her if she smoked, I wouldn't date her. So she put down the cigarette and went back inside and quit smoking that day. I never knew she smoked until she told me this story, years and years later. I asked my friend, and he confirmed it was a true story. She gave up other men, smoking, literally anything she could do to increase her chances with me. And she did it all without even telling me.

If she isn't willing to make life-altering decisions like quitting smoking cold turkey or dumping every other guy just in the hopes it makes her a little more likely to snag you, then you aren't her alpha. Maybe she's had too much dick, her brain doesn't release oxytocin properly anymore and she can't pair bond. Maybe she was never meant to be wife material. Who knows, but a girl like that is not wife material, probably at all, and definitely not for you.

Find a girl who will move heaven and earth for a chance to have you. I’ve met probably 6 girls in my life that would do this for me. They exist. My wife is by far the best of them.

PS I met her at a bar yelling at a game on the TV.

Quit running and start lifting or go ahead and bookmark the dead bedrooms subreddit. There’s no exception here.

[–]DWscrub[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Thanks for the reply. I'm broke ATM as I'm trying to get through studies without a loan or external financial support. I can get dumbbells but a squat rack and bar isn't going to fly with roommates just yet, I've asked and am still working on it.

Any suggestions?

[–]lionmenden3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Does your school have a gym?

Otherwise, you only need three movements. Upper body push, upper body pull, lower body push. Pushups work but if you can do more than 10 then they’re not hard enough. Dips will work instead for a upper push. Pull-ups are great for upper pull. Find a park with parallel bars for dips and a chin-up bar. Or use chairs for dips and get a door jam chin-up bar. When you can do 10, add a backpack full of books to add weight. Body weight squats with a book bag on will have to suffice for lower push, or find some heavy stuff and do farmer carries.

[–]rocknrollchuck0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Join a gym. You telling me you can't even afford $30 a month?

[–]DWscrub[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Only gyms with weights here are the university ones which charge $400 yearly. I can't swing that between having to send money back home and uni.

The only reason I still go out and party is because someone else is eager buy my club entry and cover my tab 😂

I'll keep working on flatmates.

[–]MRPFuckMe19 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy

I’m divorced with a 9 year-old daughter.

I was a touring musician. She was a pro music photographer. We met at one of my shows. I was 27, she was 29. We were together for 8 years. Married for 4. Split up a little over 3 years ago.

It was an emotionally difficult divorce for both of us. I take the lions share of the blame for going so beta. But we are now on great terms and I don’t regret anything.

I’m RP aware, but you’d probably call me purple pill. I think the fundamentals are correct, but I’m also pretty critical of monolithic ideologies, and I think TRP fits the description. I see women as actual human beings with the capability for thoughtfulness and humility and drive and the ability to be self-aware, and while parlor trick manipulations might work in the short term, they don’t really take the other person into account, and thus tend to fail in the long term. And that attitude is to what I credit the fact that my ex and I are on good terms—friends even.

That is all to answer your question of whether you’re crazy to want marriage and family. I don’t think so. It can and does work quite often—much more than an echo chamber like TRP would have you believe.

That being said, if you strike out with the goal of finding a wife, there’s a good chance you’ll get what you wish for. And I would say for that to be the end goal of your efforts is dangerous as you might sacrifice a more ideal situation with a woman than if you let it happen organically.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Just lift already. I regret the months I wasted before starting. Or years, depending on perspective.

[–]MRPFuckMe10 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I do.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good! It meant for OP.

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I see women as actual human beings with the capability for thoughtfulness and humility

Oh for the love of God. Give me a single example of any woman in your life acting with humility. Old Grannie Smith maybe but a woman our age? Your jousting us.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.

[–]Leviticus592 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

How did you meet your wife?

Online, 20 years ago. Turned out she only lived about five miles away from me.

How old were you?


Were you RP aware?

No. My natural tendencies always trended Alpha, but I was raised by a religion fundamentalist, domineering mother, then stumbled young and dumb into a first marriage to the same sort of woman. Escaped, finally, at age 38, completely beta-fied, lost and dead broke.

Met my current wife, who was a traditional, grounded, RP sorta gal, which was the beginning of my turn-around. Found NMMNG a few years later, then TRP.

It's getting increasingly difficult to find the sort of traditionally raised women necessary for a successful two-parent family and household, but they're out there.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I met my first wife in Hell. Finally left her there.

Met my second wife in a bar.
As soon as I saw her dancing, I wanted her.

She came there with another guy. She left with me. Almost thirty years later, I still get hard looking at her.

[–]ac3jc7 points8 points  (12 children) | Copy

Dude you need to stop being a bitch and lift. Run less. Running is horrible for you. Don’t look for a wife. Look for yourself.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy

My 40-45BPM resting heart rate disagrees with your statement.

Nothing wrong with adding conditioning work including running. Just don't be a moron about it and go from zero running to trying to do 25 miles a week. Long runs are great for endurance, building your aerobic base and building mental toughness, intervals are awesome for getting your VO2 max up.

Mix it up with other conditioning work, Metcons, Tabata's, HIIT, Kettlebell swing workouts.

While my workout partner is gasping for air doing his 5x10 squat or deadlift sets, I'm almost back to a resting heart rate within 60 seconds of finishing mine.

Lifting first, conditioning work a close second.

[–]SepeanRed Beret7 points8 points  (10 children) | Copy

So the main benefit is to brag about your heart rate?

[–]WesternhagenWinner11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

I went to a bar and had women measure my resting heart rate, and when they found it was 40bpm, they really got wet. Take that, musclebound oaf!

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

Main benefit is fucking like a porn star without sounding like Jabba the Hut.....

Increased work capacity in the gym is a nice bonus too.

[–]oytrp-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

Work capacity?

Cardio is a gainz goblin. You're only hurting your lifts.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

Total bro science.

If you’re ONLY looking to put on the maximum amount of muscle in the absolute shortest period of time, maybe you’re partially correct.

If you are looking at all around fitness, you’d be foolish to neglect your aerobic conditioning as well.

It doesn’t have to be one or the other. They can compliment each other as long as you’re eating enough to make up the lost calories.

[–]oytrp0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

If you are looking at all around fitness

We're not. We're looking at aesthetics.

Yeah, you want some cardio vascular fitness just for your own well being, but a 10k every other day is just dumb, ESPECIALLY in the absence of any lifting.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Who suggested NOT lifting?

[–]oytrp1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

10k every other day = OP

Not lifting = OP

Follow along here.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Lance Armstrong had a resting beat of 32 bpm in his prime. Something to aspire to.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I have a resting bpm of 115. So what i like coffee bro.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Each cup reduces your risk of diabetes by 7%, up to six cups.

I'm at 3-4 a day, myself.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I met my wife in a nightclub. She accidentally stepped on my foot when she was drunk. I was 22 am 26 now. I was not familiar with TRP but I had read RP books that are not discussed her.

I never spinned plates and part of me wished I had. Because there is a lot of passion in our sexlife I think I would be disappointed if I started to spin plates. I did not have to vet my wife too hard. She was and still is a very traditional woman and I believe it has helped me tremendously. I was a boy when I met her and I still don’t consider myself to be much of a man yet. Fortunately for me, she put up with a lot of my bad behavior and immaturity. Most guys here would disagree with me but my wife is my best friend.

I wanted to get married because it seemed like a good idea at the time. In hindsight I should have waited to develop myself but I would still have been with her. It’s more difficult now going to school mostly full time and working full time with a wife. I don’t have time to do everything. I have to choose what will give me the best bang for my buck. I’d get married again but than again I didn’t come from a dead bedroom. I came to this sub because I started to become less of a Chad and needed a refresher course.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I just threw up in my mouth.

You would get married again?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

When did you get divorced?

[–]Grimsterr2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

1991 - I was just finished my freshman year in college, I was 18, red pill did not exist yet, I was a natural alpha because well, I grew up in the backwoods of Alabama and it was just how things were, I was 240 pounds of solid muscle and could dead lift the back of a pickup truck (a joke we often played on each other in HS we'd literally pick up and move the back of someone's truck while they were inside paying so they were parked perpendicular and couldn't escape the gas station unless they moved their rear back), went to a concert with a buddy still in high school, walking up to the venue we saw some girls he knew from school so we all went in together to the show (Queensryche/Suicidal Tendencies if it matters).

ST blew the roof off and I was wiped from my time in the pit so when Queensryche came out and started with that Silent Lucidity shit we headed to the upper level and I parked my ass on the steps. One of the ushers (some old dude in a jacket) came by and said they were filming and looking bored sitting on the steps I had to get up, told him I didn't actually have to get up as I was far too heavy for him to lift, he left, came back with a security guy, big motherfucker in a yellow T and he's like "Come on Grimsterr get up so he quits whining" told him "Ray, I ain't getting up unless you're gonna make me" he was like "nah fuck that" and walked away. So I kept my seat and finished watching the show in peace.

Apparently one of the girls liked my style. Married for uh, 20 something years now, 24 I think, forget if we married in 94 or 95.

[–]470_2_700_nm2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

“. I don't lift but run 10k every other day and do bodyweight exercises (I box).”

Ahh Ethiopia is that way====>>>

Keep boxing. Start lifting.

Oh and vet carefully mother fucker.

[–]Reach180Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Met my wife at work when I was in high school. I was 16, she was 17. Had a food court job at the mall. Dated all the way through high school and college. At 24 I knocked her up, so we got married.

Kind of goes against the orthodoxy here, but I'm glad I paired off and did the family thing early in my life. There's something to be said for going through your 20s raising kids together.

[–]rocknrollchuck1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bible study at church. We've been married 10 years now, and she's DTF whenever I want.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She walked up to me and said:

"So I hear you think you're pretty smart. You look too good to be smart."

It's been interesting ever since.

To answer your questions. I was 23. RP was only game and confidence at the time (20+ years ago).

I don't advise men get married in the current SMP and society at large. I don't regret being married, but I don't endorse it.

Hey faggot, why am I giving you information when your runner's high got in the way of providing any stats about you?

[–]SepeanRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I found her online, on one of those exclusive dating sites (existing members of the opposite sex had to vote you in to gain entry).

I was 26, not RP aware but was plenty alpha earlier, at one point had 3 GFs at once. I wanted something steadier and a family and thought the right way to do that was to be more beta, so I happily shot myself in the foot there.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

We were besties at college. Sat together for every class and studied together. She had a bf, I had the attention of a bunch of other girls. I had the upper hand.

It was only a matter of time.

Together from 19 years ago.but only married for 10. I'm 40

[–]firstlight7770 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My now wife's friend was into my roommate. I was in a fairly popular local band and they would come to shows. They came over to the house, and the first time I saw her I knew I wanted her, and I got her. I was 21 she was 18. I was independent, hard working, you know, "alpha" and I guess she liked that. I liked that she had huge tits and huge brown eyes, was chill, and we hit it off on the front porch. We were together, and apart for a year. I truly was such a dick to her sometimes, seeing other girls, no communication, this is before everyone had phones though. It made her crazy and dear Lord the sex,the never-ending mind blowing sex. About two years later our first boy, who is now 16 was born. We've struggled hard and turned into adults together. We had two more boys, now 10 and 5. She is as beautiful now as the day I met her. I'm now, 40 and she's 37. My betaization caused her mood swings and shit tests, I was walking on egg shells. Real life is a bitch to say the least. Money, mortgage, kids in school, no money. It has not been easy fuck we've almost divorced seriously three times. The third time being just a week or two ago. She came around as soon as I was truly ready to let her go, for real. I'm so glad I found the red pill and married red pill. I now know what the problems are. She has adjusted, just within the past few weeks, to the newfound, but who was always there, me. Strong, independent, fucking lifting even though she shittested so hard about me joining the Y. I now know I don't have to, and she doesn't want me to, bow to her emotions. I hate that I can't just go on the main RP site on my phone now. It's not all gospel but it has changed my life, and if she knew about it she would say thank you. I have not had my wife look at me the way she has been in a few years, but I know it's fleeting if I don't stand my ground. I though I had my shit together back then but did not and am still working on it. Everything's a work in progress. Lift, watch Rocky movies, stay cool (dgaf) and stfu.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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