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Main Event kicking off, looking for advice on fast recovery from it.

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September 26, 2018
7 upvotes

Well, I have a main event kicking off. It wasn't what I wanted. We had been working on our marriage over the past 12 months. We went to marriage counselling and while temporarily successful in the long run it didn't matter.

Ultimately, she had left emotionally and was struggling with the a number of things.

I've been reading the sidebar, lifting and focussing on working on myself. The quality of our sex improved a lot as I was applying the things from the sidebar. But in the end it didn't work.

I'm actually relieved. I gave it my everything and it wasn't enough. She had left emotionally and sexually and but not physically. In the end she said that she didn't love me, she didn't want what I wanted, she couldn't give me what I wanted and that the person who she was when we married was dead and by extension the marriage vows we made

So it's onwards and upwards. I'm going get divorce raped but that's OK. I have a pretty investment strategy and I'll recover quickly

The issue is my 2 boys. I know I'll be fine. I can deal with a lot. The MRP and Red Pill forums have been awesome.

The question for the gentlemen on this forum who have had a main event, what things helped the most in moving on and recovery. Also, what things will minimise the impact on the kids.

My experiences tells me that I'm going to be fine. But my biggest concern is my 2 brave little men.

Thanks


Post Information
Title Main Event kicking off, looking for advice on fast recovery from it.
Author Majormikeoz
Upvotes 7
Comments 35
Date 26 September 2018 09:17 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203967
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9j6n50/main_event_kicking_off_looking_for_advice_on_fast/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
liftthe red pill
Comments

[–]screechhaterRed Beret5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

you haven't even scratched the surface

these are shit and comfort tests

she is fishing for your balls to come out with some self respect and for you to point at the door and tell her to get out, then she can decide if you are worth fighting against of who is going to control.

Then a main event will ensue

STFU, LIFT READ

[–]470_2_700_nm2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

“she is fishing for your balls to come out with some self respect and for you to point at the door and tell her to get out,”

This is the answer OP is looking for.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

It may be a matter of semantics, but for clarity this is a "kill the puppy" scenario and not a "main event". And in this case, she killed it not you. You never got far enough along for a true main event.

As far as how to move forward? You haven't internalized a damn thing and have been larping this whole process if you don't know what to do now. You should have been living your own life on your own terms for a while now. At least since swallowing. There really should be little difference between the life you are living married and the life you are living divorced.

You are wandering and are aimless. Figure out your mission in life and then you won't feel so lost.

I don't really know your backstory, but your only path is forward. The past is passed. Learn from your mistakes and don't fuck it up going forward.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

She killed the puppy and claims to have killed her (former) self as well.

She's very talented.

[–]FFDGTDS3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

The part I thought was interesting was, “and by extension our vows”.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (14 children) | Copy

Shit, I wish I had two boys. I'd be fishing and camping and whitewater rafting with them on visits. Alas, it is my lot in life to be surrounded by beautiful women so I was merely blessed with 2 daughters.

[–]2ndalRed Beret10 points11 points  (13 children) | Copy

You can take your daughters camping and fishing and rafting, too, you know.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (12 children) | Copy

If they had an authentic interest, yes. You never read Rollo's article on why you never bring your wife fishing, have you?

Furthermore, it doesnt have same level of importance to girls.

Lastly, youre going tangental on why i posted it succinctly how i did. I was trying to convince this pussy to stop looking at the downside of things. Now, he can spend 100% of the time with his boys teaching them how yo do man shit, and how to become men. Lets just stop this debate about the intersectionality/interchangability of the sexes right now, because (given your flair) i can assume we're in agreement on that being bullshit.

[–]2ndalRed Beret2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy

That really touched a nerve, eh? I'll add a trigger warning for you next time.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy

Next time dont reply with intersectionality faggotry, faggot

[–]downvotesanimals1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I've taken my LTR on many long distance hiking and camping trips over the years.

She took to it really well and I find that when we go out together it strengthens the captain/first mate dynamic.

I'm curious if you would approve of this behavior?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Of course, but it's not the same dynamic. When you bring a woman (daughters included) into naturesque adventures, youre hosting them on a "tour" through nature with a tourist/tourguide dynamic.

With boys, and men for that matter, youre utilizing skills, demonstrating mastery over the chaos of nature; this is done in a mentor/pupil or peer-mentored dynamic.

The point of the original reply was to jostle the OP out of perceiving through the "What hes losing" lens, instead of a more healthy "what hes gaining" lens.

Alas, we've derailed the topic enough, and i promised myself i wasnt going to be verbose. Enough words.

[–]downvotesanimals2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I believe we're in general agreement.

[–]2ndalRed Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

man if some faggot stranger like me can shake your frame like that, i can't imagine what impact your wife has on that frame

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Next time ill post the reader's digest version and hold your hand through the long winded version so i dont lose my more remedial asscave dwellers, such as yourself. Get off the nuts, faggot.

[–]2ndalRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

there you go! now if you can handle your wife like you just handled me you'll be golden

[–]lionmenden2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I see nothing here about what you want, just what she decided for you.

When she says: “The person who she was when we got married is dead”

You say “yeah I like the new you. I’d cheat on the old you with the new you”

And then, cause this whole thing is a giant shitty comfort test, you tell her “if you want to leave, I’ll help you pack your shit. If I wanted to leave, you would have divorce papers. Since neither of those have happened, we aren’t discussing this again.”

I keep having to type that speech out, but it works. Your wife wants you to sack up and tell her to quit the shit and pull her back in line.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

“what things helped the most in moving on and recovery”

Your new-found balls.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy

We need a better context here.

Did she say all of this tonight?

What led up to it (the last day or so?

What was your response , and then her response?

I’m thinking this is not a main event, but if you come on here and give partial information, you are going to get partial answers...

[–]Majormikeoz[S] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

All of those things were spoken in the course of a couple of days. She said that her identity has changed and that she wasn't the person she was when we got married.

The lead up was an argument we had. At the of the argument I said, what can I do to make you happy, what do I have to do and she asked herself the question and came up with the answer of nothing because she didn't love me at all and wanted out. She said that she wasn't going to stay in a loveless marriage, and I said I won't stay in a sexless one.

We have had issues for a while about sex and things being not as I would like them to be. This has been an ongoing issue for over a year. And it hasn't actually changed. She tried by her heart wasn't in it and I think she had given up trying. We did couples counselling for 3 months.

I think this is the main event because I kept on asking for what I want for over a year and she wasn't able to give it to me. And I'm tired of asking for respect and desire. You can't negotiate desire.

I've been working out most days. I've dropped fat, cut down my drinking a lot and applied some of the sex god method to good effect. And throughout it all.. no serious change. I put her work ahead of my mission in the hope that she would respond with desire and respect. The response I got was I'm done with you fuck off.

I feel I've done all I can.

I'm going to focus on my boys and my mission. And I'd like to know and tips for making the main event recovery process faster.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I put her work ahead of my mission in the hope that she would respond with desire and respect. The response I got was I'm done with you fuck off.

thats textbook.

[–]civilizedfrog3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

"what can I do to make you happy, what do I have to do"

This is not redpill. Showing her door would have been the best response.

[–]SepeanRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

At the of the argument I said, what can I do to make you happy, what do I have to do and she asked herself the question and came up with the answer of nothing because she didn't love me at all and wanted out. She said that she wasn't going to stay in a loveless marriage

I kept on asking for what I want for over a year and she wasn't able to give it to me. And I'm tired of asking for respect and desire. You can't negotiate desire.

I put her work ahead of my mission in the hope that she would respond with desire and respect. The response I got was I'm done with you fuck off.

Alright, you tried the blue pill way, now try the red way.

Read the sidebar. It isn’t optional. You can’t just pick and choose: you lift and talk dirty in bed and think that’s enough? What about being alpha, holding frame, passing shit tests?

Stop listening to your wife. She’ll never tell you what she wants or give you could relationship advice. We have a sidebar for that. What she’ll do is shit test you and instruct you how to be more beta, until she gets so disgusted with you she tells you to fuck off.

And if you manage to get your shit together, figure out what you want, grow some frame and stop listening to your wife, and she’ll tell you you’re an asshole and she can’t live with someone like you, guess what? Don’t listen to your wife, it’s all shit tests and misinformation.

[–]470_2_700_nm1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

“what can I do to make you happy, what do I have to do and she asked herself the question and came up with the answer of nothing because she didn't love me at all and wanted out.”

This right here is the most pussy drying faggotry you have written perhaps in your entire life.

No woman will want you if you ask such question internally OR externally.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

what can I do to make you happy, what do I have to do

You have to stop negotiating desire, at the least.

[–]DeeMooreDeeMarriet1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do you know the new guy's identity yet?

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

At the of the argument I said, what can I do to make you happy, what do I have to do

Huge mistake. If she says she wants out, the answer is always “the door is right there.”

I've been working out most days. I've dropped fat, cut down my drinking a lot and applied some of the sex god method to good effect. And throughout it all.. no serious change.

Of course not... because you are still deep in her frame.

I suggest you read Practical Female Psychology. It’s on the sidebar. That book will make it clear how you displayed low value. You’re frame is weak. Another good book for you is “the subtle art of not giving a fuck.” You give way too many fucks- another very unattractive trait.

[–]BostonBrakeJob0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Huge mistake. If she says she wants out, the answer is always “the door is right there.”

OP pay attention to all of what BobbyP said, but especially this. ANYTIME ANYONE threatens to walk out of your life, this is the answer. Say it word for word if ya gotta fake it til you make it. If you truely get to this point, there are a number of ways it can be communicated.

Now, unfortunately, it won't be affective...being that you flat out asked her what you can do to make her happy, sacraficed your map for her career and so on. This, I know for sure. Watched my buddy try to say the same thing to his girl 2 days after literally crying on his knees for her to stay. He said this and she called him out "ooooh now you got some balls cuz your buddy's around?!?! Where were they at the other day when you were crying begging me to stay??" She was screaming this at him, outside their home. The whole neighborhood heard it lol.

Your best bet is stfu, very literally, until you start living this shit. She may stay, she may file. You are in no position to be reading the why of either scenario. Get out of her frame. Find yours. If she comes around, great. If she doesn't, you'll be posting a FR on the main sub and not a question here.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get. The. Fuck. Out.

This is not a Main Event because that only happens after Red Pill application. If you had any clue about TRP, you wouldn’t be caught dead asking a woman “what can I do to make you happy?” That’s not to say your marriage isn’t finished, but of course your Frame is nowhere to be found.

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ultimately, she had left emotionally and was struggling with the a number of things.

This is not a "Main Event." The Main Event is a major blowout that often precedes a new and better marriage. This is a "Divorce" and the time to intervene as a strong, masculine man is BEFORE she leaves emotionally and while she is struggling. Just a tip for all the other guys!

In the end she said that she didn't love me, she didn't want what I wanted, she couldn't give me what I wanted and that the person who she was when we married was dead and by extension the marriage vows we made

Gratz! Few men have closure like this. You can go to your new and better life without a shred of guilt.

2 boys

Go for joint custody! 50% with each parent is hands down the best arrangement for children of any age after divorce.

Your 2 brave little men are children. Don't forget that. They need a mother to snuggle and cuddle and they especially need for the mom and dad to NOT bad mouth one another.

That is the biggest concern with the children- get the soon to be Ex on board with the children being the biggest concern, not yoru fleeting fee fees of the moment.

The best lesson an involved, present father who is divorced (or not!) can give to his son is to live a full, busy, and happy life. Show your kids the good life by example and include them in on it.

what things helped the most in moving on and recovery

The fastest way to get over someone is to get under someone.

[–]juliusstreicher0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

One caveat, in re "not bad mouthing Mom": Don't be a dipshit and go into overdrive with "Your Mom is a good person..." shit. She's leaving because she wants alpha dick. Just say "She wanted somebody else." She's fucking leaving her husband, and breaking up a family. That's not a good woman.

[–]SaintJohnRakehell0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have a friend who went through two of these. He dealt with it by drinking and fucking a lot. And STILL, was torn apart by it both times. There will be a fair amount of suck, no way around it.

I would agree that if you can throw yourself into your mission, or maybe multiple missions, and strive for laser focus on those, the suck could be attenuated.

Make her do all the legal wrangling shy of hiring your lawyer might be a good way to make her accountable for checking out of the marriage.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Who decides your life, you or her? This isn't about you getting her to be who you want her to be, it is about you being you you want to be.

I gave it my everything and it wasn't enough

Who did you give your "everything" to? From what I can tell this means you did the beta monkey dance just the way she wanted you to do it and you didn't find gold at the end of the rainbow. Fuck all that shit, it was just confirmation to her that you are a needy low-value bitch and she is right to want to branch out and find her a "real man". Perception is reality. Her reality is that you have no balls and give her no tingles. Your reality needs to be that you DNGAF about her reality.

the person who she was when we married was dead

Perfect, that is convenient since the person you were is dead too. That marriage is dead. I'll say it again, that marriage is dead, in the ground, never to return. Meditate on that for a while until you "get it".

Now that we are clear that the old marriage is dead, it is time to start un-fucking your life. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, so get to fucking work, fix yourself. Maybe one day (if you are so inclined) you might meet a woman you are interested in marrying again. Who knows, it MIGHT even be your current wife. My point is that if you do decide to have a relationship with her, it will be relationship 2.0. It will be on your terms or nothing.

MRP doesn't save marriages, it saves men. YOU decide what people are allowed into your life and on what terms, not her.



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