Anger problem. I have the divorce papers in my car.

Taipanshimshon · 2018-09-16T12:48:28+00:00

Your anger is at yourself. All of it

DownVoteForDickPic · 2018-09-16T13:07:48+00:00

The reason she doesn’t let up on you is because her nagging IS WORKING. Your wife’s words made you come whine on an internet forum. She owns your feelings. You’re being a whiny bitch. She is dominating you.

Grow the fuck up and actually stop giving a shit, instead of pretending you don’t.

2ndal · 2018-09-16T14:35:22+00:00

Folks are going to say to next her which seems reasonable as long as you understand that you will end up with roughly the same garbage with the next woman if you don't change yourself. All women, if they stick around long enough, get comfortable enough, will eventually get under your skin in the same way if you let them.

The root of the problem, like most problems men find themselves in around here, is frame—or lack of it, rather. You let her get under your skin. You let her make you angry. You let her gaslight you. You you you. Not her, her her.

Here's the thing. You can't control her. Never can, never will. You can't control anyone. The only thing you can ever have real control over is how you react to the world, react to the things people around you do and say.

In your current frame, any women you let get close enough to love causes you to let you guard down, causes you to let that frame crack in certain ways. You let things seep in, let things get to you. Why can't she just love me? you might think. Why can't I just be myself? Why can't we just get along?

You can't let that guard down. You can't expect a women to truly love you in your default state. It's the unfortunate reality we live in. I wish it were different, trust me. But it's not.

So you can choose to learn how to establish your frame with your current wife if you want her to stick around, or you can choose to learn how to establish it with some other woman in the future. But you can not choose to ignore the fact that your frame, or lack thereof, is why you are in this situation and it's up to you and only you to fix the problem. Otherwise you will continue to find yourself in this situation, albeit with a different woman. Your choice.

screechhater · 2018-09-16T10:07:47+00:00

When I read your post, i think, what a fucking train wreck.

Did you ever think to take a step back and analyze what’s really going on ?

Do you know what a shit test is ?

Comfort test ?

I cannot believe you state how many times “SHE sets you off”.

You apparently have some work to do when you allow others actions to control your temperament

You hand her those papers without real cause, boundary crossing, etc and you are fucked.

You lack stating stats, where you were at before MRP etc but hey, who the fuck are we right ?

martyrothenburg · 2018-09-16T17:26:35+00:00

You're so angry you can't even write straight. Everyone is pointing out that the issue is with you and they're right. As someone who is going through anger issues and therapy, I can tell you it's all in your head. You're choosing to be upset about the things that your wife says or does. Going to the gym, doing BJJ, leaving and going on walks is not going to do shit for this issue. You need to learn to not give a fuck about whatever it is that your wife is saying. If she is truly being negative or nagging let it fucking go. Every time you acknowledge it you are condoning it.

A good example of what you're doing is when you think about a dog who looks for scraps at the table. If you don't ever give the dog scraps he won't come around during dinner. It knows that it won't get fed and it won't waste its time. You on the other hand keep feeding the dog under the table. Then you ask yourself why the dog keeps coming back. You won't stop fucking feeding it.

A lot of people are saying to divorce or next your wife but I have no idea why.

And the hardest part is she provides so much value otherwise. She’s loyal. She cooks. She cleans. She has her life in order. Good family. She’ll be Great mother one day. Very caring to basic needs. Fucks me whenever I want Bends over backwards for me.

In your own words she adds value to your life. The issue I think is that you care way too much so you need to find out why you give so much of a shit about what she thinks. You don't have to defend, excuse, explain or rationalize yourself to anyone. You don't owe anyone an answer to a question. You don't owe anyone a response to a statement. It's easy to say when you're not in the heat of it but regardless of the situation you know those to be truths.

BostonBrakeJob · 2018-09-17T02:28:01+00:00

I used to be you. Hell, I can say everything you've just said about my wife still...minus all the being angry about it shit.

And that's just it. That's the secret. It's not about changing her behaviors, it's about changing yourself and your reaction to those behaviors.

You don't withdraw time and attention to change her behavior. You withdraw because her behavior isn't worth your time or attention. Pull back. let her hamster do its thing. Come back like nothing happend and start opening doors for her to walk through. If she slams them, pull back again and go do something else more worthwhile. Eventually you realize you just don't have time for it, and even if you did, that's not how you'd choose to spend that time anyway.

Nothing wrong with wanting her to be more pleasant to be around. But the problem is you're still expecting it. Figure that out. And in the meantime, don't go puttin a baby in her.

Rian_Stone · 2018-09-16T19:59:10+00:00

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[deleted] · 2018-09-16T07:22:54+00:00

Whats your stats? Maybe she thinks your stats suck and is trying to nag at you to improve.

RedPill-BlackLotus · 2018-09-16T08:14:33+00:00

Jesus man. Why would you bother with Her, she sounds worthless. What value does she add?

How solid is your divorce plan, you say you have the paperwork ready with You? You have a solid plan ready to exicute?

You need to have a cool head to deliver that talk. It sounds like you are definatlly not there.

Take a deep breath, you can leave her. This can all end. You are the master of your own destiny.

End it with a controlled demolition though, not a mushroom could.

Slow down.

drty_pr · 2018-09-16T08:24:35+00:00

You better hope she isn't as tough as Johanna too or you'll be coming on here some day asking what to do when your wife beats you ass.

helaughsinhidden · 2018-09-16T15:05:47+00:00

Truth hurts. I think the truth you don't want to hear is your frame is garbage because you are easily upset and run out of patience immediately. She simply has no respect for your leadership and if you can't become a man who can handle her flooding she shouldn't respect you.

She is a control freak. It is usually based in a fear of being judged or criticized. You let it go unchecked so long that you live completely in her frame , albeit unhappily.

Relax. This isn't beyond fixing.

Sounds like at times you are doing the right things when shit tested but she doesn't like it and is understandably fighting your effort to reclaim your testicles. When she nags, you DARE, then she says "why aren't you responding / talking normal / making jokes / changing subject", let that be a clue to you that she realized you have introduced a corrective measure for her bad behavior.

What your missing is the next step, remain STOIC. Keep frame. If she presses you for a response and you feel like you have to cave in and defend yourself just don't. Or at least dont go back to her original topic. I'm thinking I want to whisper in your wife's ear "Honey, I am not replying because I didn't like what you said or how you said it". However, even that is weak because unless she is very dumb, she already knows why.

man_in_the_world · 2018-09-16T16:32:42+00:00

I can only take so much.

She will press something till she gets what she’s looking for.

Here's the deal: You're desperately seeking for her to shut herself up because you're too fucking weak to handle her words and frame. And you're angry because your giving in to her words and nagging constantly exposes your weakness and failure, which bruises your beta ego.

Ignore her don’t work. She asks why I’m ignoring her. changing the subject don’t work bc she asks why I’m changing the subject. AA don’t work. Bc She will say why are you avoiding what I’m asking or give me an “no seriously”. AM don’t work she will say why can’t I just talk to her normal.

These things "don't work" only because you're completely in her fucking frame. Why do you care if she asks why you're ignoring her, or changing the subject? Read WISNIFG; you have the right to not answer her, or answer by teasing, changing the subject, or with a broken-record response.

sidepiecebandit · 2018-09-17T03:59:48+00:00

You don't have an anger problem, you have a frame problem. Hence you have a leadership problem. Men test ideas, women test men. Your wife is testing your frame because subconsciously she's wired to do so. And you're failing. And you know it. And you're bitter. You think you're angry at your wife, but you're truly angry at yourself. Angry that you can't control your emotions; that you can't lead your wife, that you're a worthless sack of shit. You're fully locked into the dancing monkey program. Doing everything you can to get a reaction out of your wife. What you fail to understand about RP praxeology is that these are tools to master yourself. STFU is not for her, it's for you. A&A is not for her, it's for you. Everything else is irrelevant. RP is not to be used on your wife, it's to be implemented on yourself. Act accordingly and stop being a little bitch. And sidebar--->

FoxShitNasty83 · 2018-09-16T08:38:32+00:00

How long have you been doing this?

Do you own your shit?

Do you lift?

Let's talk about how much you have read on the sidebar?

Also do you know what rambo is?

How old are you?

How fat are you?

MrChad_Thundercock · 2018-09-16T15:33:53+00:00

“It’s a constant nag. Nag. nag.“

The nagging from her is a direct reflection of your lack of leadership. Unknowingly, you forced her to take control and now resents you.

She lost respect for you. So she treats you like a man child.

Big_Daddy_PDX · 2018-09-16T19:05:35+00:00

“I’ve got a great Sports Car. It does everything I need. Except the transmission is failing and I can’t shift into 3rd gear and sometimes can’t shift out of First gear. But it’s a great car”

If you are this wound up and excited, it sounds like A) you aren’t as far along in TRP as you think it B) your wife is far lower value than you can admit and your trying too hard to make a failed relationship work. Mostly this happens when you’ve either chosen the wrong person from the beginning or when you trained that LTR for a decade with your poor behavior.

I left a wife of 15yrs for similar reasons. She just didn’t want to be on the new bus and her value was too low. I happily walked away from daily, enthusiastic sex and regularly frequent threesomes with younger, single girls. Don’t let sex cloud your judgment.

JudgeDoom69 · 2018-09-17T13:53:19+00:00

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.

Viktor Frankl

ReddJive · 2018-09-16T13:33:23+00:00

How can I stop this??

Drop your ego. Stop being a faggot.

You are more emotional than your wife. No wonder she thinks you're a douche.

BobbyPeru · 2018-09-16T07:45:31+00:00

Sounds like she wants you to kill the puppy.

Either that or you haven’t worked at it hard enough. It takes a solid 2 years of lifting, dread levels, sidebar, map... to get there. You didn’t even mention reading the sidebar. The sidebar is the key to the puzzle.

Tampadev · 2018-09-16T14:18:30+00:00

No kids? Fucking next her

mrpthrowa · 2018-09-16T16:11:49+00:00

You think you need to respond.

You think you owe her a response.

You don't

Ultimately, you can remove your physical presence

Go to a different room, leave the house, whatever really

Why is that so hard?

Because you just like to blame her, your ego is so huge you don't realise that you're actually not a fun guy. I mean shit, anyone who reads this OP woulnd't want to spend a second with its writer.

Aditya77-scorpio · 2018-09-16T14:48:23+00:00

You complain like a clueless half brained chimp. You should not be allowed to be around any woman.

Enough said.

friendandadvisor · 2018-09-16T15:08:14+00:00

I'm wondering if, in spite of your being a royal faggot, your wife still cares and is trying to tease you out of your 'mood'?? She could be making a display of love, and you are shitting on her. It's happened to me before.

Further, you are a pussy. The whole point of AA, AM, etc... is to NOT cry like a bitch and shriek like a fishmonger's wife.

red-sfpplus · 2018-09-16T20:41:22+00:00

Anger?

Clearly you do not lift.

Go bitch to a 45# plate faggot. It cares as much as we do.

Title	Anger problem. I have the divorce papers in my car.
Author	martyrothenburg
Upvotes	11
Comments	65
Date	16 September 2018 06:30 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	askMRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/204013
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9g8klg/anger_problem_i_have_the_divorce_papers_in_my_car/