714,030 posts

I want to like my wife again

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September 14, 2018

I used to be so into her. All about her. We were best friends. Had so much fun together. Things were great. I really enjoyed the sex and always wanted to have it.

Now sex is like whatever and I look at random women and want to rip them apart. I went from crazy player over 100 chicks bedded to settling down with her over the years. And she really does make my life better overall.

She just gets annoying to me sometimes and I have a hard time wanting to do things for her like I used to. Sometimes I sit back and think man I was so into this girl. What happened. I don’t even know what happened besides just getting comfortable and bored of the same old thing.

I know it’s my job to spice things up but I’m having a hard time finding that motivation or effort. Lately I have been forcing myself to lighten up with her and have more fun.

Part of me wants to be single and go fuck all the women I want again but I know deep down that’s not that fulfilling for me in the long run. And It throws me into a bad life style trend. I honestly am a bit ungrateful for the value my wife provides for me.

She’s loyal to the bone. Cooks. Cleans obsessively. Is a great mother (well I know she will be with how she is with her nephews.) gives me sex whenever. Makes good money. Is supportive with everything. Smoking hot and foreign. And she’s always thinking about me. Always going above and beyond for me and the relationship. And I am just whatever about it. The thing is I don’t want to be whatever about. I want to actually like her again. This is the longest I ever been with someone by a long shot. Like I said I Was a ONs guy. So is this how thing just are? I read some of you say your girl is your best friend and not in a corny cliche kind of way. What the hell am I doing wrong here? Or am I just being unrealistic?

Patrice’s bit about liking and loving a girl are spot on here.

Post Information
Title I want to like my wife again
Author acuraaruca
Upvotes 17
Comments 33
Date 14 September 2018 12:17 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204025
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9fnc4h/i_want_to_like_my_wife_again/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

“We were best friends“

There’s your problem. This is textbook fucking beta behaviour. Find your balls for Christ sakes.

I know it’s my job to spice things”

Have you tried date night?


[–]CalvinRichland17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Welcome to being married. Even if she is perfect other chicks always look better from far. Either man up and leave her or make her life what you should. Fake it until you make it. Or do it then fewl it.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

For every hot woman there is a man sick of fucking her.

Now get fucked with your retarded humblebrag/whining combo questions.

We are not going to give you permission or absolve you of your desire to fuck other women.

We don't give a shit about you.

[–]weakandsensitive17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy

This guy again. Ugh. Save your time fella's. Post history is pure whining and crying.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't waste my time anymore.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy


Guys are here with real shit problems. You have it and you want strange.

Grow the fuck up

[–]Senor_Martillo12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Have you thought about taking dick instead? You might really like it.

[–]psychosis20202 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

If this is an accurate reflection of the status of the relationship / marriage (also doesn't say how long?), then gentlemen it is a good illustration of something I sometimes see on MRP / ASKMRP.

Some guys seem to think when they go from dead bedroom to sex a few times a week then there still isn't enough attraction... If theres no anal there still isn't enough attraction... To the guys who are coming from a beta starvation frame thinking they genuinely seek sex 2/3 times a day and full submission with their wives from a desire perspective and not to be psychologically / emotionally validated by her. I would say give it 2/3 times a day sex for 3-6 months and subservient frame, from her and they would be in exactly the position as the OP.

We (both men and women) desire what we cannot (easily) have once something is fully attainable attraction is lessened if not lost. The man will then start to look elsewhere and this is the whole driving reason behind the betasation process women perform mostly subconsciously, to prevent men getting to this point.

Back to the OP if he genuinely is at this position and without children then the obvious option are to spin plates on the side, co-opt his wive in on the action (if she is willing and attraction high enough for this - from his post would imply she would be), next and find one that is willing or just spin plates without LTR.

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

2/3 times a day and full submission with their wives from a desire perspective and not to be psychologically / emotionally validated by her. I would say give it 2/3 times a day sex for 3-6 months and subservient frame, from her and they would be in exactly the position as the OP.

I agree totally. Many men have a mission in life to NOT be happy and not matter what they cannot be satisfied.

[–]makethemflaunt2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I would say this is not a basic question. This is the epitomy of hard mode. What do you do, when you no longer feel like doing all the things from the sidebar, when you no longer are hot for your woman, and this eats you up inside? This is an advanced-user question IMO. As you said, you have over 100 lays and still you're stumped on this one?

One classic blue-pill answer is actually not half-bad: do something novel.

This can include going on a vacation getaway, going go-kart racing, bungee jumping, skydiving, or delving into bondage and BDSM, etc...

You're basically saying things have gotten stale, and you need to do something to bring some spice back into it, but you don't have the energy to do it. So search for anything that would give you that energy naturally, without you having to fake it or force it.

In fact, search for the energy generally, in life. Stop trying to get your "juice" from your sexual relationships. That's the road to what you said is not a fulfilling lifestyle in the long run. From a monotheistic religious perspective, you need to "just focus on your relationship with God". In secular terms, find your connection with "source energy", and don't worry about whether or not your relationship is hot this very moment. I believe its the nature of relationships that the sexual intensity waxes and wanes, but that if we hold tight to our "meaningful mission" / our "source"/ our "connection with God energy", that nothing can ever really faze us, and the dissatisfaction that your complaining about will be a distant memory.

[–]acuraaruca2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Best answer thank you for not just saying the redundant “stop being a faggot” comment

[–]makethemflaunt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

For sure. Wishing you the best. Also, is she connected with her 'source', her joy de vivre, her passion? Her not doing that may also be a reason for you to lose attraction. Long term attraction, I believe, depends on both people being connected with life in a meaningful and energizing way.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Have you considered cheating?

Morals aside, I condone it in certain situations. One of two things will happen.

1) You will get some strange and realize that you are much happier spinning plates and living life on YOUR terms 2) You will get some strange and realize your wife is better than any of the hb7's you pull at the local pub. You will come back to her refreshed and in love. You will appreciate all of the little things that got you into her in the first place. You will be content. But you will cheat again.

She sounds like a good one from what you've pointed out, the issue is with you, not her. Divorce is as big of a commitment as marriage (in my eyes). You've even stated that spinning plates will not give you long term satisfaction, so tread carefully.

[–]acuraaruca0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

That’s the one thing that works. I just like strange. It makes me want to be with her after. Weirdly enough. She’s against it of course but has caught me three times and haven’t left. The thing is I don’t party anymore. So my social proof to all my party plates in the past has went down to almost zero for whatever reason.

I am running my mission. Gym. Motorcycle. Friends. I don’t have access to a lot of plates like I used to. And I’d go out on the weekends here and there and a lot of chicks don’t like the fact i have a girlfriend. Weird problem I’ve been running into

[–]psychosis20201 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Is it wife or girlfriend dude? In post and title it’s wife and then in this reply it’s girlfriend?

If your only after ONS why are you telegraphing your in exclusive relationship if it ain’t working for you?

[–]oytrp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't get it. You're already eating your cake and having it too.

What more could you possibly want? To fuck a new woman EVERY night?

If you're leading in the bedroom, there is no way years of sexual chemistry can be better than a 1st time with a random.

[–]Ninpo_Neo652 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

You appear to have no mission in life and you're too lazy to read and/or understand the gospel of TRP...THE SIDEBAR. You will bounce around between boredom and depression without a mission in life despite you having found a woman that appears to add good value. I've been married 33 years and can attest TRP principles just plain work, unlike you!

[–]acuraaruca-3 points-2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I have a mission. I have a business

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

A business is not necessarily a mission.

[–]Ninpo_Neo652 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If your business was your true mission, you would NGAF about getting epic feelz from a woman. You're fortunate your wall & chain still thinks your business is your mission, otherwise she will begin losing attraction for you. You best unfuck yourself by searching/finding your true mission otherwise we'll find you swimming in a shit-storm and begging help from MRP.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well. Usually the problem is you.

Your feelings toward your wife are a reflection of you. You are not “haaappyyy”

Go find a reason to be happy that doesn’t involve focusing on your wife.

[–]brique8790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Is your business fulfilling? This could be the part of your life lacking / in need of change.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You sound like the wife writing about their mr nice guy husband.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I bet she wants to like you again as well.

Send me her number. Sounds like a down girl.

[–]nastynickdrRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are the guy who whined on a previous post about wifey almost killing your dog right?

You got lots of good advice there and seems like you followed none. You just DEER.

Leave her, cheat on her, or dont. Just make a decision, stick to it, man up and stop being a faggot. And decide it before you knock her up, as you can get away from this pretty easily if you decide to. No one will decide your life for you.

or maybe you should post this on relationships and get the you should taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalk to herrrrrrrrrrrrr about your feeeeeeeeeeeeelingggzzzzzzzzzzzz line.

[–]redwall920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not sure if you want a wife, or a homobro. As has been suggested, you could try going brokeback to see if that's more your taste longterm.

Read "The Way of the Superior Man." The answers to your questions are all on the sidebar.


[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You have not read "Sex-God Method" apparently.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She just gets annoying to me sometimes and I have a hard time wanting to do things for her like I used to.

Dogs will be dogs- you and her.

Sometimes I sit back and think man I was so into this girl. What happened. I don’t even know what happened besides just getting comfortable and bored of the same old thing.

You answered the question.

We talk an awful lot about the issues that arise when girls slut around and let themselves be passed around like a platter on a buffet. However, there is an effect on men as well. With girls the Rubicock is around 4-5 cocks maximum and optimally one cock. There is a reason virginity has always been prized throughout history and it is because virgins are MUCH more loyal and MUCH more likely to pair bond for life. For men it is 50 or more partners but the effect is similar. You lose the ability to pair bond long term when you have had too many vaginas (or dicks as the case may be).

The other issue is the old saw about the obsessive passion declining after marriage. There is a difference between crazy lust and mature love- but the more women you sample, the harder it is to find your one Twu Wuv because you get addicted to the crazy lust (and you see the nature of women).

Gottman would say "cultivate gratitude and fulfillment" but as a Red Pill Coach I still don't know how to do that except "cognitive restructuring." When you hear a negative thought about your wife substitute it for a good one and do it consciously. Example: When you find yourself thinking: "My wife annoys me" turn your thoughts to "She is a great partner and is going to be a great mother."

If being annoyed with your spouse disqualified you from marriage we would all be MGTOW.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you have fucked 100 woman already how could you not get to a place where sex is just meat and friction? All vaginas are the same, they are just attached to different woman.

I'm embarrassed and ashamed I wanted pussy so bad. It's like air, it's only a problem when you are low.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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