39, 190# 21%BF / wife 38
OHP 75, BP 115, Row 115, SQ 115, DL 205 -all 5x5
Read 90% of the sidebar.
About 3 months in. Former drunk captain.
My wife doesn't appreciate my new, direct nature of gaming her. Despite the fact she had recently been acting whorish (perhaps because of this fact?), she seems to be particularly sensitive to being treated as a sex object.
Due to being in anger phase, I had been going Rambo at times, and this had bled into my gaming her. I've since dialed that back, and I'm understanding that there needs to be a transition instead of a continental shelf fall-off of my beta behavior.
I make sure to mix it up during sex. Sometimes I just get off and let her be. Sometimes I prolong foreplay. She's generally very passive during sex but does follow directions well. She's very submissive.
When I ask her for nudes, she always follows through, even when I know she is busy or not feeling it. I tell her she's a good girl, when she does (or just send her a return Pic).
However, she hates being accosted with surprise spanking (which she generally likes), or pulls away from groping kisses.
Not sure if I just need to continue working on my SMV and dread, or if she really desires more beta than I'm giving her right now. Maybe I'm changing things up too quickly. Or maybe she's ashamed at her previous behavior (she has all but said as much - but she is a stubborn bitch about some things) and subsequently wants to appear to me (or to feel herself) more trustworthy or vanilla.
She gives hints that dread game is working... "you can't just throw me away now!" after giving requested sexual favors, for example.
She also generally displays that she values me: gives me no difficulty watching the girls when I go out to the gym or for a run: gives me gifts constantly, does tasks I ask of her, etc.
I don't want to dial back much. I feel more like myself now. I'm not as angry anymore, either. Just forceful, perhaps. It's showing, maybe, that I have uncertainty about wanting to stay married. In fact, I'm uncertain if she is the type of woman I want to be with anymore.
I'm trying to pay attention to her actions more than her words, but this woman gives a lot of weight to her words - particularly the ones I seem not to hear.
How hard do I push?
I think I already know the answer. As long as I'm in my frame, if she doesn't like it, she can fuck off.