708,624 posts

"You treat me like a whore"

Reddit View
September 9, 2018
13 upvotes

39, 190# 21%BF / wife 38

OHP 75, BP 115, Row 115, SQ 115, DL 205 -all 5x5

Read 90% of the sidebar.

About 3 months in. Former drunk captain.

My wife doesn't appreciate my new, direct nature of gaming her. Despite the fact she had recently been acting whorish (perhaps because of this fact?), she seems to be particularly sensitive to being treated as a sex object.

Due to being in anger phase, I had been going Rambo at times, and this had bled into my gaming her. I've since dialed that back, and I'm understanding that there needs to be a transition instead of a continental shelf fall-off of my beta behavior.

I make sure to mix it up during sex. Sometimes I just get off and let her be. Sometimes I prolong foreplay. She's generally very passive during sex but does follow directions well. She's very submissive.

When I ask her for nudes, she always follows through, even when I know she is busy or not feeling it. I tell her she's a good girl, when she does (or just send her a return Pic).

However, she hates being accosted with surprise spanking (which she generally likes), or pulls away from groping kisses.

Not sure if I just need to continue working on my SMV and dread, or if she really desires more beta than I'm giving her right now. Maybe I'm changing things up too quickly. Or maybe she's ashamed at her previous behavior (she has all but said as much - but she is a stubborn bitch about some things) and subsequently wants to appear to me (or to feel herself) more trustworthy or vanilla.

She gives hints that dread game is working... "you can't just throw me away now!" after giving requested sexual favors, for example.

She also generally displays that she values me: gives me no difficulty watching the girls when I go out to the gym or for a run: gives me gifts constantly, does tasks I ask of her, etc.

I don't want to dial back much. I feel more like myself now. I'm not as angry anymore, either. Just forceful, perhaps. It's showing, maybe, that I have uncertainty about wanting to stay married. In fact, I'm uncertain if she is the type of woman I want to be with anymore.

I'm trying to pay attention to her actions more than her words, but this woman gives a lot of weight to her words - particularly the ones I seem not to hear.

How hard do I push?

I think I already know the answer. As long as I'm in my frame, if she doesn't like it, she can fuck off.


Post Information
Title "You treat me like a whore"
Author no_turning_back_rp
Upvotes 13
Comments 45
Date 09 September 2018 03:20 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204040
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9edpkw/you_treat_me_like_a_whore/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
betadread gameframesexual market valuegame
Comments

[–]coachdad834 points35 points  (5 children) | Copy

Sounds like a great wife with a un-appreciative husband. Guys come here to get laid and you are getting laid. Guys come here to get respect and you're getting it. So what exactly do you want that you aren't getting? You married her for a reason at one point, why was that?

It's standard for guys less than 6 months of RP getting IOI's to want to next their wife, but give her time. A good wife is better than 6 plates. Take it easy, work on yourself, make your wife laugh and feel sexy, initiate often, be inventive in bed.

Kino is to create sexual tension in the house and it tells her you expect sex because you are a man and you want to have sex with her first. But if the kino isnt accomplishing those goals, change the kino. That goes for all your game.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Coach, you may just have hit the nail. I meant to add something to my OP about this possibly being the result of my ego telling me to drop a woman that had simply been being a woman instead of the unrealistic image of wife/marriage that I had before I found the pill. Anger informing decisions instead of true frame.

While she leaves some things to be desired, it's true that she works hard, considers me, supports me, etc. I need to nail down my frame better, and work on the remaining anger.

I also need to work more on being fun and funny. She tells me I'm too serious now, where I used to be more funny and free flowing. I'm getting back to where I used to be, but I'm not there yet.

Thanks again.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Seems like you think your wife is a paint-by-numbers portrait.

You've diligently painted in all the numbers. Even mixed the right colors.

But she's not Bob-Rossing her way into the woman of your dreams.

If I were you, I'd skip the paint-by-numbers and just acknowledge that your wife, your marriage, even your life... nothing more than an unadulterated blank canvas.

More fun that way and less stressful.

Kind of cool, too, when you stop and think about it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, I can see that.

I used to be able to just go with the flow. Gotta get back there.

[–]IRunYourRiver2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

As a noob to this site (and philosophy), it's good to see this acknowledged. Even first contact with sidebar material makes you realize two things simultaneously - 1) your wife wants sex from the right guy, which might not be you; 2) everyone else's wife wants sex from the right guy, which might not be her husband. This presents a risk to your marriage but potentially a huge opportunity for your penis. My guess is that most of the guys here are interested in making their current marriage work and so some patience is required.

[–]SepeanRed Beret-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like a great wife with a un-appreciative husband. Guys come here to get laid and you are getting laid. Guys come here to get respect and you're getting it.

You have a bad case of low standards.

[–]RedPillCoach16 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy

she hates being accosted with surprise spanking (which she generally likes), or pulls away from groping kisses

This is good information to have that would be good to act on, or not act on as the case my be. Have you tried an approach to not scare the kitty cat? Have you tried caressing and stroking her cute little butt before pulling a sudden spank surprise?

Not sure if I just need to continue working on my SMV and dread, or if she really desires more beta than I'm giving her right now.

This is a near perfect distillation of many years of study by thousands of men.

What would you need to do to find out the answer to this question? What would you need to know to answer it?

I think I already know the answer. As long as I'm in my frame, if she doesn't like it, she can fuck off.

I am pretty sure that is wrong. Unless your frame includes your wife it isn't a marriage. Of course you want to make your wife happy and you should- especially when she is making you happy.

The whole point of Dread Game is to take power and to arouse your wife. Sure you can use it to 'cheat' and lay other women but then it wouldn't be "Dread Game." The whole idea of "Game" in marriage is that you are essentially gaming your wife instead of gaming bar hoes and randoms.

I don't want to dial back much. I feel more like myself now. I'm not as angry anymore, either. Just forceful, perhaps. It's showing, maybe,

Maybe? LOL.

I have uncertainty about wanting to stay married. In fact, I'm uncertain if she is the type of woman I want to be with anymore

This is what male hypergamy looks like and it is just as ugly as female hypergamy. This is also VERY COMMON among men as they become Red Pill aware, understand female attraction, and realize they could have done much better than the woman they are with. When you become Red Pilled it often turns out SHE was not the one who "settled."

I would give this time and work on cognitive training to avoid these thoughts like I could have done so much better than this bitch and substitute a good thought like I have a wife who fucks me on demand.

How much time you give it is up to you but Athol Kay says give it a month for every year you were Blue Pill while I suggest a full year of red pilling before you start to seriously consider nexting your wife. Some guys have more patience. Some less.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thought provoking questions.

Part of my issue is that the target is moving. Over the summer she was more interested in all things sexual. Now she is getting back to work and is work focused, and since then all interest in sex has been mitigated somewhat, including her accepting of those kinds of surprises.

Still, I can hit a moving target, just need more practice getting dialed in.

I don't want to be so straightforward as to ask her exactly what she wants - she probably couldn't tell me anyway. It's been like that since she had our first baby. So, the plan is to keep trying things and get my sights dialed in.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You added some to your post, or I missed it:

I could do better. I settled. Didn't think so at the time, it was more like I was on my life mission and she was just a fun stop on the way. Then it snowballed.

Anyway, I love her. And I'm getting a better idea of her value in terms of what she brings to the partnership. She is far from perfect, but so am I. Truth is, we get along really well most times. We've been best friends for years, but I now know I need to make more connections with other men.

The times lately that we havent got along have been my fault at least as much as hers, but I still have some anger that's affecting me.

I'm any case, I'm about 1000% more confident, more happy, more secure than I was 4 or 5 months ago. Now I need to see how and if we still work together. I think we do, and will try to be patient.

Thank you for your insights.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is good information to have that would be good to act on, or not act on as the case my be. Have you tried an approach to not scare the kitty cat? Have you tried caressing and stroking her cute little butt before pulling a sudden spank surprise?

This. Jets don't always use afterburners; they reserve them for special occasions.

[–]BlackFire687 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

When she says, "You treat me like a whore" you respond, "Yes, and you like it"

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That is my instinct now, but if I did, I think she would actually slap me. Maybe that's a good thing. She clearly wants AF/BB both (AWALT), but acts like she doesnt want the AF. I think it's a ruse. Maybe she is cheating.

[–]zurgenfloggin7 points8 points  (14 children) | Copy

39, 190# 21%BF / wife 38

OHP 75, BP 115, Row 115, SQ 115, DL 205 -all 5x5

Not sure where you started from, but these stats are more likely your problem. I went from 28% to 14% BF. At 20% I noticed a remarkable improvement in my body, but in reality had gone from a fat dude with a food baby and a meat beard to a normal guy. At about 15% you look great and you'll find you are getting noticed.

Your strength numbers (assuming these are # and not Kg) are not very strong.

I've foudn lifting and diet solve about 90-100% of everything else.

[–]boy_named_su3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Those must be his wife's numbers

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (12 children) | Copy

Agreed. I started at 202 # and 25% so I've still got work to do. Doing IF now to continue cutting fat. I also run and bike for cardio.

Wife has definitely noticed the changes - she compliments me and touches and squeezes my arms way more now.

Also, I'm in my second week of 5x5, and my weights are consequently low. In fact, I may have started too high on my row, I can't quite complete each rep all the way to my chest.

So yeah, working on those numbers.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (11 children) | Copy

You should be able to squat a helluva lot more than 115 pounds. Seriously, put an additional 25 on each side at least. Your squat should be 80% of your deadlift or youre squatting "afraid". Do it on a smith rack if youre nervous about the quick ramp-up from the 115 youre currently quoting. Becareful not to squat much past the lateral 90 degree position until youre used to the increased challenge.

Squats and deadlifts that are challenging will put your quads and hamstrings in delayed onset muscle soreness 2 days later for awhile, but you need to push those muscle groups hard to activate the release of natural growth hormones that taxing them hard produces.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy

Thanks for the feedback.

I was really disappointed with my squat numbers, and had some decent doms after my first 5 sets @ 95# (!) - but I had no doms the next week after upping to 105, so I'll definitely try adding a lot more next time. I squat in the power rack, but there is a Smith machine available - I'll try first at the new weight on that.

I do try to go almost atg, but not quite. I'll focus on going just past parallel. I have short legs, not sure if that factors in at all.

In fact, I haven't had any doms at all in any muscle group, except my quads the first week. Do I need to push all my weight up? I did have some immediate lower back muscle soreness after upping my DL, but that is dissapating normally, it seems. I focus on form, but I wouldn't be surprised if it needs help.

[–]redwall922 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

Don't use the Smith if you've got a power rack. Read Mehdi's stuff on the power rack vs the smith machine. Just keep adding 5-10lb everytime you squat the 5x5 successfully. You'll add 20-30lb a week. In 4 weeks you should be squatting close to 200.

Read each of the pages Mehdi has for the main exercises ... http://stronglifts.com/. Then go from there. After about a month or two, read them again and focus on different points of form to make more strides.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Thanks, I started at Mehdi's site and still reference it often. I do like the feel of free weights and using the power rack. I think I'll stay on this plan!

Should my goal be to have doms in those major muscle groups every time? I can deal with the pain, but I want to make sure I'm making the best progress. I try to eat enough protein and get the needed sleep.

[–]redwall920 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

DOMS happen for me if I miss 3+ weeks of a muscle group coming off an injury or similar. For squats, the DOMS happen the first week or two. They go away as long as I'm hitting those muscles at least twice a week. If you squat once a week or less, then you'll get DOMS every time you squat. And you won't progress.

Protein and sleep are huge; I can almost predict a bad day at the gym by looking at my protein intake and my sleep the couple nights before. Not an exact science, but the science is there.

Also, as I got closer to my max and found myself failing on 5x5 sets, I had to switch my cardio to days I was not at the gym. I could not do the gym at night when I had played racquetball hard at lunch for 75 minutes. I did not have enough left to do the gym that night and make progress like I wanted. It's a priority thing at that point.

[–]redwall921 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Just noticed ... you're in your second week of 5x5. This is the beginning of a new life for you man! Lean into that pain while you're starting up. Keep with the plan. Workout A, then workout B. Easy-peasy. Just go to the gym and hit the buttons on your phone for 5 reps. Rinse-repeat. The DOMS will go away soon. Just add the weight and follow the app. You do have the app, right?

I stuck with the app except for squat and deadlift. I started out squatting just the bar. But I added 10-20lb sometimes. Form is king. Form is more important than hurrying up to add weight. But if you're reading his pages about squats a couple times a month, then your form should stay on point. And you'll find yourself wanting to add more weight than just 5lb each time. At least I did.

I went from squatting the bar to squatting 3 plates (315lb) in about 15 months if I remember correctly. And I lost about 30lb and a few inches off my waist during that process as well.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm really stoked about it, actually. And the wife is supportive as she has been supportive of any venture I try, which is helpful since she often needs to watch the kids when I go to the gym. I love the soreness too. I did some weight training for a few years, over 20 years ago and the great feeling is familiar.

I've been sticking to the 3x a week plan, workout A, then B. I actually want to start going more often, but I'm not sure how advisable that is, especially in the beginning.

I actually haven't been using the app but I'm going to get it right now. I had just been keeping text notes so far.

I do add cardio on my off days, usually running or biking, but I get to surf or SUP on occasion.

Thanks!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Also, I've lost 12# so far and started doing IF about a week ago. It doesn't seem to have affected my power in the gym, yet. Not sure about the timing of my protein /carbs in relation to the workout, there seem to be a lot of differing opinion on that.

[–]redwall921 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

there seem to be a lot of differing opinion on that.

There are differing opinions on everything. Just prioritize going to the gym. Make some goals. Bench your body weight. Squat 1.5 x's your body weight. If you're committed to those goals, then you will do what it takes to make it work on those opinion things. Not making progress in your squat? Eat more protein or get more sleep or change up your squat days. Not making progress in your bench? Eat more protein. Do more dips or push ups for accessory work. Do whatever it takes to get to YOUR goals.

Go the gym 3x a week. Read Mehdi's pages often. Have good form. Stay away from injury. You'll be squatting 1.5x your body weight and bench your body weight in a year or so easy.

And you'll be a different man than you are now. This is MRP. Fix the man. Everything else will follow.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Once you plateau with the noobie gains and deload per stronglifts 5x5 instructions a few times. 6 months or so into the program, youre going to want to explore higher volume routines to break into the next development. This is where you start incorporating dropsets and supersets in an alternating fashion.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I improved my form a bit on the squat and feel more powerful, but I think my short femurs might be working against me. I only added 20# for 135, but I'll keep stepping up 5# every time. No doms, though it felt like a decent workout at the time.

Added weight to BP no problem. Removed 10# from my row, and it feels really light, but I can complete each rep pulling all the way to my chest now, so I think I'm on the fight track.

[–]rprprptr2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You can't just change behaviors, it comes across as try-hard.

Start with soft pats, not spanks.

Kiss her without groping her for a bit first. Don't go straight for the grope, and sometimes don't grope at all.

She wants a little comfort and there is some shit testing mixed in too. You're not acting like yourself and she senses that and it weirds her out.

Sprinkle in a little of what she wants. Women like to be warmed up.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've definitely appeared try-hard at times. Must work on that.

Had good interactions today. Funny, playful, sexy. Since I approached it well, she reciprocated.

She sent me requested nudes while I was at work. Later, she told me that she enjoyed the funny and playful mood I had been in.

She's a good communicator, but of course she only communicates what she thinks she wants.

[–]CaptJohnLukeDiscard2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You sound like a weak, angry, middle-aged, fat asshole who doesn't really appreciate what appears to be a helpful, respectful woman.

You are 90 days in. That's about the length of a highschool summer. It's less than a professional sports season. It's shorter than the time it takes for a movie to go from theaters to DVD. My point is... it's a really fucking short amount of time for life-altering changes to actually occur, let alone be noticed / registered / appreciated by those around you.

Don't expect massive changes quickly. Go back and read the posts on the 1,000' rope. Read Jack10's posts. All of them. Slow the fuck down. Appreciate what you have and recognize areas you need to grow. Give yourself, your marriage, and your wife some time to adjust to the 'new you.' Because it does take time. It takes many wives somewhere around 1 month per year of their husband being a loser... which for you probably means another year or so before she fully adjusts to this 'new you.'

By your accounts, she is smart, sexy, naked many times when you get home, respectful, supportive of your mission, helpful with the kids, etc. While she obviously isn't perfect, she does appear to be worth keeping unless you are burying the lead in an epic fashion.

So here's my advice from a dude in a similar situation (good wife, anger phase after the pill, etc.) who happens to be about 16 months ahead of you... slow the fuck down. Calm down. Chill out. Treat her well. Enjoy your life. Enjoy your mission. Own everything. You've got it good man. Recognize it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks, man. I needed that. You're right.

I got a lot of tough love from the usual suspects here when I first puked around, but maybe I need more to keep my heading. Never got it from dad.

I've already dialed back and the wife has already acknowledged it. Now I need to keep the occasional anger spurt under my own control. Keep building my frame. I'm impatient, but I'll slow down.

[–]psychosis20201 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

From your post title you mention she stated that “You treat me like a whore…” but yet provide no context to this shit test / statement nor how you handled it?

Also I sense from a reply further down the real issue for your post was that that she has stopped being as responsive to sexual approaches;

Part of my issue is that the target is moving. Over the summer she was more interested in all things sexual. Now she is getting back to work and is work focused, and since then all interest in sex has been mitigated somewhat, including her accepting of those kinds of surprises.

The normal rule would be to increase Alpha behaviours at this point not introduce Beta ones (giving gifts etc...). A man's instinct to introduce / raise comfort is to reduce his own levels of anxiety

You mentioned the return to work and IMO this could have an impact in a number of ways and not directly the way you think i.e. just she is focused on that.

First one which is actually focus related is the more a person has to apply it to other areas the less energy they have for the hamster to spin, if a person is at home more with less to occupy their minds her hamster kicks in, especially if you are still at work and not with her. This is why we tend to tell men to focus on themselves go to the gym, socialise etc... Men have hamsters too and if we don't busy ourselves these can kick in.

Secondly (although I am not sure were she works) you have to remember that a reasonably attractive women will get validation from male colleagues indirectly (women are good at reading body language) and possibly directly on a daily basis. Perception of own and partner SMV is fluid and can be effected by perceived or real external validation received. A male example of this if you go out and approach and have good feedback or even receive IOIs without approaching, from hot girls then your own perceived SMV rises due to confidence.

Lastly and this ties somewhat into the second and may not be relevant to your situation, is the level of neediness felt by the man when they consciously or subconsciously become aware that their wife is again being subjected to this daily barrage of male attention / validation. If you have any doubts as to her faithfulness, her being at home or with the children most of the day somewhat limits her options and reduces your neediness (which can potentially be sensed by her). Not saying this is the case but this statement in one of your replies implies that you have at least thought this;

"... She clearly wants AF/BB both (AWALT), but acts like she doesn't want the AF. I think it's a ruse. Maybe she is cheating."

If you identify with any of the above points you can see that maintaining or even increasing dread could produce an improvement. You have to remember one of the concepts of dread is about maintaining a perceived SMV difference in your favour and also fuelling the hamster.

I would also add that you can increase passive dread without it becoming active eg the guys that say they lift in home gyms as don't want to pay what would be a small amount to join a gym are missing out on a large part of dread. That is you not being there, time for the hamster to spin, is he really at the gym? Wait there's girls at the gym etc...

Also when you head out to the gym don't make a big announcement, join a 24hr one and get up early before she is awake and head straight there, go straight after work without telling her, shower at the gym, take your time going there / back if it takes you an hour and a half to go there, work out and get back take two hours+ go browse some shops, do some reading etc...

Just be unpredictable and don't give her a running commentary of what you did at the gym or even talk about it, she's not interested in your lifts, of course you can however tell her about the girl that asked you to spot her on squats etc...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Very insightful post!

she stated that “You treat me like a whore…” but yet provide no context to this shit test / statement nor how you handled it?

You're right. It was a spontaneous statement, but was in regards to the mentioned spanking (which she likes when she is aroused), sudden groping, etc, which she had been accepting/enjoying until her frame shifted from summer slut to fall professional. Of course her hamster doesn't see it that way.

I could have handled it better - at the time I just STFU and went away. But I let my actions speak for me: I stopped doing those things in favor of more gentle surprise neck kisses and caresses. - The things she does to me occasionally.

.

real issue for your post was that that she has stopped being as responsive to sexual approaches;

Yes, that too. And my sex drive continues unabated while I scale way back on masturbation. Last time I went over 72 hours without an orgasm (a couple weeks ago as an experiment) I got painful blue balls like I haven't hard in over 20 years.

The normal rule would be to increase Alpha behaviours at this point not introduce Beta ones

I agree. I think I need to work on my game and adapting it to what she likes, instead of adding any beta behaviors back.

.

Re the rest of your post: her coworkers are a small group but she is definitely going to be receiving positive feedback from them. And there is at least one coworker that she's attracted to, so she is definitely getting more positive attention/validation there, both professionally and physically, I'm sure. She looks good, and in fact she's looked better every year she has worked there.

Thanks also for the pointers on dread. I've been consciously adding dread here and there, often by methods you mention: being unpredictable, taking longer than expected, getting up real early for a jog, etc. It's a little more difficult to be spontaneous and unpredictable when two small children are involved. She's already given me shit three times lately for not being around when she expected me to be. I just ignore it, generally.

I'm getting better at passing shit tests, but I still have a drive to provide comfort sometimes depending on my mood (still angry at times, but mostly just chill).

I've definitely learned that regardless of what she says, telling her any details about my day, my intentions, or my feelings rarely works in my favor. Mystery gets the hamster running.

[–]psychosis20201 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

(Solid wall of text and rambling coming up!)

I think as mentioned earlier that a lot of times a man feels the need to provide comfort it can be to relieve himself from his own anxiety in the situation, a transference in a way. I also think that knowing RP whilst we know lack of comfort / rapport = attraction in women it isn’t the same for men so whilst it’s giving them feelz it gives us anxiety.

An example of this is to a man take the same HB but on one situation is being cold or behaving adversarial vs one being warm, receptive and submissive towards you then I would argue you being a man would be more attractive to the latter. Subconsciously we feel and are told people are similar so we project on to them and desire to provide comfort to relieve our own anxiety.

Couple this with the fact that women are very much in the moment i.e. can normally say much harsher things to men as they are only verbalising what they feel at that exact moment. They can also change emotional states a lot faster than men hence why A&A work so well as it is all about what they are feeling vs what they are thinking.

That isn’t to say it is needed an a LTR / marriage but it is one luxury Chad’s never need to bother with to a large degree, just 95% attraction (they can just break rapport all the way and be absent). However in long game that is why if the Chad never gives the glimpse of comfort / commitment the relationship will eventually end. This is just the same as a dog loves playing tug, while finding it immensely fun, if it never gets the toy will eventually lose interest and give up.

This is why some comfort is necessary in LTR / marriage after swallowing RP as people don’t tend to chase what they believe they can never catch. However it is probably a lot lower than most people feel compelled to provide (obviously not Chads but most people her are not naturally Chads).

I would also add a point on frame and most people on here think they have a rock solid frame can bat of all the shit tests that come there way etc… This is great progress for most and will yield good results in the short to medium term but I think for proper frame control needs to be taken further as it is still being re-active. The saying the best form of defence is offence and this definitely applies to women, why be the one batting all the time when you can have a chance at pitching.

I wrote a post about a month ago about flipping the compliance test and perhaps chose the wrong term with flipping as this seemed to imply it was about how to handle a women compliance testing us. In the case of compliance tests it is about once you have handled them coming your way you need to start throwing them back at her. Do you think as Chad is dominating a women and ordering her around she has the chance to throw many orders at him?

Another post I wrote about grooming body / intimate grooming got removed by a mod as not sexual strategy. My point with this post was you can really get good passive dread when start paying attention down there as she will notice and if she hasn’t asked you to do it then she will start hamstering. Why is he shaving is he seeing anyone else etc…? Guys hamster this all the time I would bet a million dollars women have done this to instil dread so to manipulate, as well as the obvious times they were actively cheating.

When I questioned why the post had been removed I was told “Trying to think like a women is like being a basic bitch”. I would argue that yes outside of an LTR / marriage why bother investing but long game you definitely need to think like them and play them at their own game. We preach already passive/active dread, abundance mentality (orbiters in womens case / plates in mens) the are all plays in their playbook too.

IMO long / hard game like LTR / marriage (if you want to stay with current women and not spin plates) means at some point you are likely going to have to start moving towards more dark triad / manipulation methods. How much you need to apply will depend on the women in question her mental state, history, self-esteem and amount of external validation she receives.

Women need feelz both bad and good (that’s why they get hooked on soap operas). If it is all good it is going to become predictable, you need to confuse don’t wait for a shit test to STFU, withdraw for no reason another time create some drama yeah it’s gonna cause shit tests but we can all handle them right? If you can keep making a women feel bad, then feel good, then bad etc… she will become hooked. Men get addicted to it too hence the reason so many stay in bad relationships you just need to calibrate.

Some will argue that they can’t do this to someone they “love” but a question to them would be, ultimately if you don’t do this and live 100% by the “she’s not your’s, it’s just your turn” paradigm then at some point she may end up with someone who gives the bad feelz (possibly taking your children with her) and at least if your a good person and actually “love” them, as you believe, you can provide them in a controlled way etc…

[–]helaughsinhidden1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

Keep it up, change is hard. I suspect she likes the changes but is testing to see if this is a flash in the pan or how you are going to be now. Remember for every year you were beta, you need 1 month of alpha before she believes it and is fully responding.

It is also going to happen that a woman is gonna hamster up fears about "why" you are changing behaviors. This is the beginning of dread. She could be worried about you losing interest or attraction, keep gaming her and don't forget to reward good behavior. What's her love language? Sounds like quality time and gifts by your post. My wife likes QT and words of affirmation and seems like she needs it more often as I am making changes.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

I've absolutely no doubt she's waiting for me to drop all this and go back to my lazy ways. It hasn't been long enough yet, and I have a history of dropping projects after a while.

So, as ever, I need to keep my frame and do this shit for myself (and my kids).

It's true that her language of love is exactly that: quality time and small gifts that show you're thinking of the other. I would be well served to keep that in mind.

I've lately been purposefully reducing the number and quality of surprise gifts I get her. Same with quality time - I spend more time working out, working on projects, etc. Maybe I need to revisit those factors.

[–]SepeanRed Beret-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

It's true that her language of love is exactly that: quality time and small gifts that show you're thinking of the other. I would be well served to keep that in mind.

The love languages are bullshit. It's AF/BB, just misunderstood and dressed up. Do you think that giving her small gifts makes her want to be your whore? No, it's beta. And sure women want beta, they have a dual sexual strategy and want provision and comfort, but don't for a second think that it makes them horny.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Nah broseph, what I'm asking about is the feasibility /usefulness of adding more of these beta behaviors back, since she is not only (practically) asking for them, but is also projecting this desire by her behavior.

[–]SepeanRed Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

It's not useful. Your problem is she's not kinky enough and she's shit testing you, so the answer is alpha. Beta is for passing comfort tests.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

She is kinky, but clearly I need to work on my pacing and approach. Again, she is a moving target. Her libido has dropped since getting back to work and being focused on that.

Once she is warmed up, she's pretty kinky, but she has been running colder lately than she has all summer.

[–]SepeanRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I need to work on my pacing and approach

If by pacing and approach, you mean more alpha, you're right. But it sounds like you think she's some sort of puzzle that you need to solve for x number of kinos at intensity y along with z dollars of weekly gifts.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I tend towards over analysis. The hardest part is I want to fuck, goddammit. Like 2-3 times a day, but she's just not on that level. So I come on a bit strong.

At the beginning, I did start to get butthurt at times when I got rejected, but now I'm pretty good at just DNGAF when it happens. I'm trying not to jerk off all the time either.

[–]griz3lda-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Surprise spankings? LOL. Groping unwanted kisses? Bro you're making a fool out of yourself being corny.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

“she seems to be particularly sensitive to being treated as a sex object” (with you)

Did she feelz sensitive when she was being railed by Chad in the foam party on spring break back in college?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Clearly not.

Nor did she, with me, 6 weeks ago.

In that time I've only improved, except from her pov I'm less the comforting beta, which is what she had come to expect.

I think it's all her, question is why.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2020. All rights reserved.

created by /u/dream-hunter