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The more I read, the more I detach from my StBX. How not to go autistic and Rambo?

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August 17, 2018
9 upvotes

Gents,

I just finished the 48 Laws of Power (Divorce could easily be in the title) and I will be applying them as I will kill the puppy soon. I have just been reflecting over the year and even looking back further I am sick at my old self. I know looking through the new lenses is what is allowing the criticism but damn its eye-opening.

Moving forward, as I will be returning home, I ask for those that killed the puppy how did you do it in a way that you got an equal or high ground before dropping papers?

How did you maintain frame and also minimize the threat of DV based of AWALT. StBX hasn't moved forward with anything. She is moving out and pretty much I will be going home to an empty house and new life.

I am seeing both sides of this as I am leaning more towards enthusiastic and excited about it at the same time I am thinking about my daughter and how it will affect her. The wife is thinking everything is cordial but after seeing video of Chad putting my daughter into my wife's car that I paid for it is being held back. That was final, "Oh they are playing family...that's fucking cute".

I laid out the rules moving forward - 1. Kid first 2. Don't spread lies 3. Don't bring Chad or Stacy around the kid. <- My wife didn't go Medusa when I stated this. She agreed to it which amused me. Wanted to call her out there but moving forward it will be "mirroring" her until I get my footing and settled.

TLDR: For those that killed the puppy; how did you do it without being an autistic fuck and more sly "The Prince" in doing so?


Post Information
Title The more I read, the more I detach from my StBX. How not to go autistic and Rambo?
Author broneilbro
Upvotes 9
Comments 53
Date 17 August 2018 04:09 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204096
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/983jst/the_more_i_read_the_more_i_detach_from_my_stbx/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
domestic violencemirroringStacyAWALTChadframe
Comments

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"19 points20 points  (23 children) | Copy

Most beneficial characteristic of my divorce - by far - "be her friend."

Had I not been her "friend," she could have raped me x10.

[–]JudgeDoom6912 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

be her friend

This is exactly right. I played my wife like a fucking stradivarius until the final divorce decree was issue. Pretending to want to help her out, fixing stuff at her new place, assembly furniture, helping her move, everything.

Once the divorce was final and she had agreed to very unfavorable terms (I kept the house, my retirement and most of my assets), I flipped the switch and went no-contact. The only communication is by text regarding custody logistics.

Congratulations on your new life. It may not seem so now, but you're way better off.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would like to see a thread where this is expanded and discussed.

Do you sex up the ex? What do you do when the final decree is entered? I can see the pleasure of going no contact after the divorce but how fun would it be to actively fuck with her?

I mean, why not go completely Dark Triad on her? Gaslight, lie, and laugh at her. Criticize her openly. Point her out to your friends and laugh at her when you see her at a party.

Oh sure, I will be right over to kill that rat. Turns off phone...

"Blah blah"... Sweetheart, I am not married to you so I don't have to listen to you complain. Click...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (20 children) | Copy

That must be a fucking bitch. Divorce has been on my mind lately as a definite possibility, and I can only imagine the difficulty in needing to keep a lid on my shit during the process. Not easy for me, but part of being in frame. Something I need to work on. The anger flows, now.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

you figured out how not to act a fool in front of your boss, or that manager who has no sense... I'm sure you'll find away

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I see your point. This should actually be no different than those scenarios, provided a man has a proper frame.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Only a man who doesn't give a fuck what you think about him would be willing to play a part to get what he wants

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

We've got a regular John Locke over here.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That a porn star? I stole my quote from a shrink talking about narcissism and the winner of the Gervais principle

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy

It’s not easy knowing that while I’m deployed Chad is playing father to my child.

When the question is asked: Why? Would it be DEERing to point out everything she’s done over the years or let her think about it?

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude. He's not Chad, he's just fucking JODY. A complete piece of shit. He'll be out soon too, because of the pending hypergamous career adventures of a nurse. She'll be wanting to fuck doctors soon.

Children "belong" to their mothers, like Stoney said.

You need to be a positive influence to your child, but you come first. I'm particularly hardcore when it comes to infidelity in marriage, even with children. I would manipulate the hell out of the situation to get the cheapest, cleanest separation possible. You can't assume that your wife is as naïve and vapid as u/judgedoom69 ex is, but his "buyout and be agreeable strategy" appears to have worked to the point where his ex is constantly shopping for a new Beta Bux.

Prepare yourself and mentally rehearse the first meeting with your child in her arms and a smirk on her face. Your desire to act a fucking fool will never be stronger.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your original post was asking about killing the puppy. I'm sorry, but the puppy is already dead. Serving papers is just a formality at this point.

Unfortunately, Chad will be around your daughter. Then probably another Chad and then another. You can't control this. You can only accept it. You can just be the best damn dad to your daughter possible and influence her in the time you have with her. Kids are smart. She will see you for who you truly are and the other Chads for who they are.

Likewise, she will see her mother and all her flaws, but she will also still love her because she is her mom.

Pointing out everything she has done over the years does no good and proves to her that you give a shit and gives her validation. I get it that you probably still do give a shit, but in the end you can't. Going full-blown DGAF is your best route. The relationship is dead and spending one more minute hamstering about it is wasted effort. Harsh, but it is your only path is forward now.

[–]broneilbro[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is so true. I guess it’s the BP trying to come back up, but in the end it is dead. I’ll request mediation and be her friend through it in order to not get raped and such.

It is not a surprise because realizing now she did this before years ago and I’m just laughing at it. This time my daughter is involved.

I’m focusing on myself and keeping busy as fuck and building the life I want. I find a lot of men that go through this hole themselves up in their apartments and give them time to hamster. Acknowledging it and avoiding are the first step in my new MAP.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy

It's not your child, hence, why mom gets to have you replaced with such little effort.

Once you learn to accept this, it becomes much easier. Your child support payments are your enabling her hypergamy btw. Not saying you shouldn't, or that there's not a good reason to.

but you cannot say it's not so.

This is why TRP is bang on, MRP is a suboptimal RP path, by definition, you have to give up a bit of you to become a person who sires children

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

That’s true. I guess in her mind she’s not playing family but going to lunch with a friend. My wife and most women probably don’t see it in the idea that if roles were switched she would she the issue with it.

I am putting my daughter first, then me, then everybody fucking else. Before it was me at the end being Mr. Nice Guy but how things change when you see how people are.

Btw I have a prenup, which the lawyer has reviewed and will stand up, and getting everything aligned when I get home.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret11 points12 points  (6 children) | Copy

I am putting my daughter first, then me, then everybody fucking else.

This is WRONG.

You must be your first and last option. The true mental point of origin. If your child is put first, she is given power on the chess board of life with regard to your ex. The little ones can be used as pawns to manipulate you by proxy.

Proper frame requires that you choose to optimize the interactions and welfare of your child because it makes you more self-actualized. Being a dad should bring you value, and not just obligation. Your life is a gift. Your energy to others, a gift. Your sacrifices to anyone will not be celebrated or recognized as such.

This isn't the military anymore. The stakes are even higher. Your mission is you.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

I agree with this comment. You have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before putting it on your daughter.

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

That’s true. I meant my relationship with my daughter as she is my light. I understand me first but her innocence as of now is the driving factor to be the lighthouse if that makes sense.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Then let her have her innocence.

Do not destroy it by drilling and grilling her about mommy, Jody, or Chad.

Do not teach her to trash her mommy by entertaining negative comments or by getting angry at information.

IT IS NOT A CRIME TO BE A BAD PARENT.

Leave that fucking cunt OUT of your life, and STAY OUT OF HERS.

All communication is by text or email.

Don’t answer the phone, unless you know it’s your daughter calling.

You can do this.

AFTER the divorce is final, get your contact to zero.

I had four kids. It can be done.

My home was a mama/drama free zone and they loved the lack of trash and conflict in my home.

You SHOULD focus on your daughter, and leave her biological birth unit out of it.

Like someone else said, I’m rather tough on infidelity. And not all infidelity involves a penis in a vagina.

Rambo?

Autistic?

I know what you do for a living.

It’s just another wardroom.

Keep your head up, eyes and ears open, and your mouth shut.

Speak when spoken to, smile, be professional and polite.

When you get to court, you want the judge to see you as THE MOST REASONABLE MAN IN THE ROOM.

Get your shit together.

Keep your shit together.

Act like a MAN.

Don’t be angry.

Don’t be hurt.

Don’t be emotional.

Be REASONABLE.

GET ‘er DONE.

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

On it. Somebody else being a mirror and then providing the freedom so she desires but the more I look at it the more I know it’s the best outcome since finding the RP.

Should have saw the signs before as her parents are divorced in the sense that the homes were filled with drama and ill intent towards her dad from her mom. That pretty much fucked her emotions up. Her dad is a good man and it will be sad day as our relationship will change but I know he will always side with daughter.

I’ll definitely can put that on and be that. The more I read about stoicism the more it enhances the reasoning of controlling only your outcome and not others.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Never read the posting in that link. There are Father Rights movements and Shared Parenting movements out there to combat Marriage 2.0. They won't do anything now for a person undergoing divorce, but hopefully will be there for our sons and daughters.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Shut in one hand, MRA in the other see which fills first

[–]gameoflibidos5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Grey Rock and DNGAF ... be a good dad and work on you, she is of no relevance anymore except for logistical communications about the child.

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That’s right. I think with her request for “trial separation” that I would entertain it.

I have my MAP and will be acting in it. I will say 48 Laws of Power is definite keeper and it is fucking solid. Needs to be converted to 48 Laws of RP

[–]screechhaterRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

You are mindfucking this to death.

Stop trying to control what you can not.

You can lift, diet and be the best version of you.

No matter what you say, no matter what you do, STBX will do what she wants.

At some point you must fave reality that you hooked up with low value and then you dicker it up further. It’s fine, just let go.

Good advice here. Best is to be her friend Next best thing, STFU and lift

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That is what I needed to hear. Everybody is like “work it ou” and “marriage is hard but with it” from parents and such. When I hint at Jody their tone changes.

I’m looking at gyms and hobbies and again very excited for the new life and at the same hopeful she won’t go succubus like her mother did but who knows. As I type this I realize that everyone of the females in her moms side of the family is divorced...damn

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hindsight 20/20 —- vetting is crucial. Hence, looking at the mother gives a deep inference as to what’s coming.

Once the papers are dropped and everything is final, you can move on and perhaps identify what you really married, until then, friend up, sucka

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I have always been a fan of Rambo. The guy usually gets it. Most times Rambo is taking action and doing shit. True enough it's usually als breaking everything as collateral damage. The autistic part is going.

uhhhh wha happened?

Dumbass you know what happened. Don't necessarily be afraid of Rambo-ing it up, just be conscious of what you are doing and where you are at. Frankly this tells me you are angry. Yeah you have a right to be. Admit it. Move on with it.

How do you stop it? You just don't do it. Turn every unsolvable problem into a me problem. What you can do and change. Otherwise you will forever be stuck in what she thinks and does. This you cannot control.

When we use "go Rambo" we often mean don't let your emotions get the best of you. You may have to take a minute and think through things. You are still angry otherwise you wouldn't be asking these questions. Come to terms with the time you lost investing in her. Do better next time.

Learn to engage rambo when action is required but control all emotional based decisions when dealing with your STBX.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Same. Rambo is great, so long as he's all in.

half assed rambo is where the problems come in

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Gotcha. I guess the term I was thinking was scorched mother fucking earth, ala Lex Grossman.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What do you think Rambo does? When you're willing to take a loss, it sends a strong signal for those around you.

It's just extreme boundary enforcement

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red3 points4 points  (9 children) | Copy

Be her friend works until the point she withholds your kids prescription medicine in a power play move.

Wanna know who NEVER backs down from a fight?

🙋🏻‍♂️

This fucking guy right here.

Dafuq you worried about being Rambo for when burning it down?

Scorched Earth Motherfucker.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Be her friend works until the point she withholds your kids prescription medicine in a power play move.

Sounds like something a judge would be very interested in hearing about.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Oh yeah man. Even got it over text. Slam dunk.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Scorched Earth Motherfucker.

My stepdad used this, and avoided almost all fudiciary requirements from his divorce with my mom. Say what you will about it, it works.

even now, I did it with my service, I still get letters asking me to come back, like a shitty old girlfriend

[–]suprathepeg1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The best power plays are the ones where the opponent has no idea they’re competing with you. Your situation sucks but at the end of the day until you, the kids or the ex pass you’re gonna have to deal with each other. Best practice is to find the path that creates the least amount of friction.

Once you have a kid all the rules of MRP apply till the end. You gotta do your best to lead, attract, etc.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Dude, OP is essentially homo2.

His wife killed the puppy already - he just doesn't like to admit it - and he has a pre-nup. His wife just wants him gone whereas yours wants to slit your throat.

Whole different ballgame.

p.s. You're smart enough not to initiate the scorched earth policy. But, it seems like you're also the dude who brings the gun to the knife fight. Or the other dude who brings the gatling to the gun fight. Or maybe the other dude who kicks you in the groin and "fights like a girl."

Then again, those dudes tend to win their fights, lol.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

win their fights, lol.

I really, really, really hate to fight. I know I come across like an asshole around here sometimes, I am IRL, dont get me wrong. But fuck...

Fighting is such a waste of time. I would much rather use my energy on something else productive.

Which is why I DO bring a gun to a knife fight. I am going to slaughter that motherfucker as quickly as I can and go about with my life.

Its not like Goku vs. Frieza where I level up 10 times, and 5 mins on planet namek is 30 fucking episodes. I am Trunks vs. Frieza. Level up to SS and roast your fucking ass.

All that aside, I may loose in the end. Who knows. I have a very solid case aganist my wife. It has been damn near a year in the planning.

I plan my fights to win.

Why the fuck OP is still friends with his wife on SM is beyond me. I blocked my wife, all her family and friends and everyone else months ago.

I got over my wife by fucking 20+ women in a few months.

There is nothing I can do to control her. She could introduce 20 new men to my kids, and there is NOTHING I can do about it, other than just be the best Dad I can be.

The more shit you put in a divorce decree about new partners, all that does is show your weakness. And once she finds out, she will do whatever she can to piss off OP.

Grow the fuck up. Man the fuck up. Get of reddit and take some fucking action.

How many of you brothers knew I was getting a divorce until I slapped y'all with it like a 2x4 across your face?

Did you see me posting every few weeks about how much my wife fucking sucked?

Nah, I was off handling my shit.

OP needs to go back, read my history and learn.

[–]Chump_No_More0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Get off reddit and take some fucking action.

This is actionable advise. Most of these guys are in 'analysis paralysis' and are still in research mode when they should be owning their shit and getting it done. This mental masturbation is nothing more than a buffer to scarcity and fear.

OP knows more than enough to act. Never let 'perfect' be the enemy of 'good enough'. Trust your gut and fucking act.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

love dbz.

[–]Chump_No_More0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

His wife killed the puppy already

Unless I've missed some updates, I disagree.

OP's wife has no idea what's coming, when OP returns state-side.

Has no clue that OP has a front-row seat to her shenanigans while testing a new potential branch. Her hamster is providing cover for her hypergamy under the 'Trial Separation' script, where she gets to fuck other men on his dime and go back if the branch swing isn't solid. She thinks she has the upper hand, so why would she divorce him?

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The title of your post contradicts your question. You have clearly gone Rambo and you appear just slightly on the spectrum.

I am sick of my old self

Hopefully you realize your old self caused the old marriage?

  1. See a lawyer.

  2. Read The Art of War

  3. Watch the movie: War of the Roses

  4. During the divorce proceedings make it a point to TALK with TEN (10) random women every single day that catch your eye. This is not negotiable. At least introduce yourself to 10 new women every day. Could be in line at the store. Could be pumping gas. Could be at the ball game or even at the gym (but be careful, gyms are a terrible PUA hangout). After you have talked to 70 women (i.e. one week) then start going for number closes when appropriate.

Read "Day Bang" by Roosh and spend some time watching PUA field videos.

Married Red Pill is "Hard Mode." A single guy approaching 20 somethings is Red Pill on easy mode- and approaching divorced single moms in their 30's is Red Pill on retard mode. Anybody can do it. You to can spin plates my friend. Read it and love it.

Of course this assumes sidebar, lift, be attractive don't be unattractive, etc.

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Damn that’s deep. Definitely wife and I grew apart and I’ll accept my responsibility. Most guys don’t and they won’t move on. She is a good mom but again we moved away as partners. Fuck me right?

[–]throwawy_122620171 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Some marriages stay together and other ones do not. If I've learned anything from my ordeal it's to never, ever judge another couple.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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