39 yo, wife is 38. 2 girls under 6y/o.
Found the red pill about 6 weeks ago. Read NMMNG, working on MMSLP and Models. Read some Rollo Tomassi, too. Read the forums a lot. Have been doing isometric exercises every day for a month, with cardio from running and biking. I also surf when able to, SUP, and stand up jet ski - all good workouts.
Diet is much better and I'm definitely seeing a difference, and so is she. Getting a lot more touches and grabs these days from her.
I need to either buy weights or get a gym Membership. No fucking valid excuse there. I don't want to get too much bigger, but I do want to add a little.
Wife resists spending the money, but I can budget my own account for things like this. She doesn't know my actual income from side hustles and some contract jobs.
My wife sent me down the redpill path.
She didn't give me a link, but ignorantly sent me in the right direction.
She advocates for my personal growth, finding more friends, spending time on activities and hobbies.
She clearly wants a man with alpha traits. AWALT. Like I had when we met, before I allowed children and routine and her lack of body confidence to neuter me.
What she actually asks for though, are beta traits. She wants me to be her rock, her safe place, her comfy hubby. Do the dishes, watch the kids. You know, all the shit I already do most of the time. She says she wants to do things that she can't imagine doing with me, as her safe one. Fuck that, I'll do whatever as long as it's fun.
The thing is, she's trying to get her feelz from others. Not by cheating (I'm fairly certain), but by soliciting men online to fawn over her, chat, and she hopes - to meet. Fuck that. She knows my current boundaries and seems to respect them, but she pushes against those boundaries by poking me with the "I'm getting bored chatting with them, because I know I'll never meet them". I respond with a smirk and STFU.
A bit of background: we are both finding ourselves more interested in and in involved with the kink community. We are both exhibitionists and post photos of ourselves and us together, online. She loves showing off, with her newfound body confidence. I like showing her off. We've met others in public places, as friends, together. We are interested in meeting other couples for fun. My boundary is her meeting other men alone. I not even sure that won't change in the future.
Most of this actually transpired weeks ago. For the past month, we have had very frequent, often excellent sex. She knows I'm also looking for and chatting with other women. I'm also looking better than I have in years, and am once again stepping into the alpha sphere. I was there once, that's why she fell for me. And it feels good to get my fucking groove back.
I'm much more up front with my needs and wants. I kino and game every day. She often sends me nudes. We have sex 5-7 days a week, often in the morning and night. We talk dirty in messages and in person. We are both having a lot of fun.
But still, those occasional jabs.
Today, I told her that I'm glad at how things have changed and that I couldn't go back to a deadbedroom. She insisted that even if we lose sexual interest, that we are much deeper than that. Obviously, she's couching for a future in which I'm her stay at home beta (even though I'd be allowed plates) who earns money, watches kids, fixes shit, etc. Not fucking happening, love. I just told her I want so sure about that, then STFU and fucked her.
Afterwards, she had some questions, the crux of which were wondering if I would leave if the sex dried up. I told her the answers and details are forthcoming. I could have just said yes, but the actual questions were more complex. She's a fucking tricky one. I need to work on fleshing out my boundaries and stating them clearly.
She's right in a way. We are best friends. We connect and work on many levels. This helped lead me to oneitis and betadom. Even until recently (1 month ago?) I was telling her I wanted to grow old with her. How does that feel like such a fucking stupid thing to say now? It does. Things can change quickly.
I wonder now if she has unwittingly destroyed her own plans for a stay at home beta. Because if that was her plan, she fucked it all up. No way am I ok doing that. I'd rather move out and go back to surfing and have my girls half the week, any day.
Part of the problem with this woman is that she is smart, sexy, and a trained actress. She could get away with just about anything. Thing is, I trust and believe her. She has been up front with me about things she would definitely like to hide, but seems to be living up to her vows to be forthright and truthful.
What I'm sure of now is that as awesome as we are right now, I'm not going to be a cuck if things slide back or go nuclear. There's going to be a main event at some point, and although I'm impatient, I'm not ready for it quite yet.
There's more, but I had to puke this out. Maybe there's some value in there for someone. If not, consider this my victim puke.
Also, since I am bad at (read: don't give a fuck about) guarding my devices and logins... If you see this... Hi wife! I'm doing this for me, and if it works for you, GREAT! If not...