Quick stats: DL5, 205lbs, 16% bf, 290 squat, 275 BP, 345DL. Working on MAP and finished sidebar required reading, currently doing round 2.
For the last 2 months I’ve been initiating whenever I wanted usually during the day. I’m getting a good success rate about 80%. When I’m turned down I go about my day, learned not to initiate at bedtime so I can go do something else.
When I’m turned down, it’s usually some variant of “my mind is busy, I’m tired, etc.” Sometimes she would initiate later at bedtime as she knows I wanted some during the day. I kino and game her all the time from the moment we wake up, not with sex in mind but because I enjoy touching her and it’s fun.
Here’s my problem: 4/5 times it still “feels” like duty/starfish. Her eyes are shut, sometimes tells me her vagina is “shy” and needs to warm up to me (womaneze for I’m not ready for you), and she’s usually dry I have to use lube. She still doesn’t blow me unless I stick it in her face when I want it and she obliges (half heartedly but whatever). I’ve cavemaned her several times when I get the starfish vibe, she seems to be ok with it. However I am not anymore. And quite frankly I’d rather go to sleep/do something else than have sex with someone who’s not attracted to me. The one time I pulled out, ended it and said this is not working for me, I was hit with comfort tests up the yin yang for next three days. The sex that followed was no different.
How do I balance “always initiate” with “say no to bad sex” and “don’t punish good behaviour”? I mean she is complying to my initiation, so that’s a plus. It’s gets more tricky when she initiates but the ensuing sex is bad.
EDIT: Cut the shit
• Write down your stats (height, weight, bf%, lifts). You are keeping a journal of your workouts right?
5’9 205lbs, 43 yo, 16% bf, 5x5: Squat 290, Benchpress 275, Deadlift 345, OHP 135, BB row 175
• Write down all the books you have read in the sidebar and one sentence about what you learned from each one (even if you haven't finished it yet). What was your main takeaway from the other erroneous material referenced in TRP sidebar and here?
⁃ NMMNG: Its ok to have needs, and I am responsible for meeting them. Kill the covert contracts
⁃ WISNIFG: I don’t need to explain myself and I owe nothing to others, learned new techniques
⁃ MMSLP: Don’t be complacent with your wife, just coz you’re married doesn’t mean the fun has to stop
⁃ Rational Male, Year One: Killed a lots of beta ideas, like women are equal, observe what she does not what she says, women want sex. True eye opener
⁃ Saving a low sex marriage: you need dread to keep the fire stoked, total fail on my side (beta me)
⁃ MAP (still reading): didn’t really find much meat in this one, I was already doing most of the green and stopped the reds, building a plan, etc. so.. meh
⁃ Sex God method (still reading): Need to be more dominant & immersive, get out of my head
⁃ Preventive Medicine: It’s never too late to start acting like a man with options
⁃ Subtle art of not giving a fuck: life’s too short, don’t take things too seriously and only give a fuck when it really counts
⁃ 48 Laws of Power (still reading): learn how to get others to do what you want
• Get your testosterone levels checked and write them down
563, doc said normal - within standard deviation for my age group.
• Write down your ratio of sexual initiations/rejections
• Write down the number of women besides your wife you could call right now to chill this weekend
• Shit, write down the name of the last girl you flirted with who isn't your wife
• Write down how many days over the past 15 you have actively gamed your wife
• Write down two things you do that make you a good catch
Engage in meaningful conversations, charismatic personality. People want to be around me
• Write down what you would do today if you did not have a wife/kids to go home to
Workout, get together with friends for dinner, meet new people.
• Write down what Dread Level you are on
• Write down how many more months you have to go until you are an attractive man with options
15, but quite frankly I can pursue other options right now if I so wish to choose.