TL;DR - swallowed pill, implemented dread, lost attraction to wife. Now what?
M (42), W (39), married 13 yrs, 3 kids. Swallowed TRP one year ago. I’ve read the sidebar and books, improved myself, been lifting about 4 years but got serious about one year ago and I’ve put on about 20lbs of muscle. Currently 164lbs, BP 185, OH 130, DL 275, SQ 200, 15% BF.
This is my first post, I’ve always thought I should wait to contribute until I had more RP experience.
I followed the plan, followed the levels of dread up to and including DL 10. I made mistakes (went Rambo, failed shit tests, then comfort tests) along the way, but kept coming back to RP, MRP, re-reading things I missed the first time around. I found new hobbies, started riding dirt bikes and I’ve been taking Krav for 10 months. Made new male friends, improved my looks, wardrobe, became more fun, social skills, and practiced PUA.
I made slow but gradual progress with the wife along the way. Eventually I became a better leader and she started following. Sex improved little by little. By far, the biggest change came when we had our main event 2-1/2 months ago, when we briefly separated. I had done my homework; I talked to attorneys, talked to the bank about how to keep my house, was tracking my time with the kids, had a FU fund.
Once I had laid it all on the line, she started working immediately to turn things around. Suddenly she was pleasant, and hornier than I had ever seen her. Now, sexually, nothing is off the table. Whatever I want, and there’s no asking from me, I just do it. She initiates almost every day. Makes me breakfast most days, packs a lunch for me and cooks dinner when I’m home. She’s been pleasant most of the time. When she does get out of line, I correct her swiftly. Mild shit-testing, but more comfort testing. I’m not good at these. I was so BP for my entire life, I’m overly cautious about adding in a little beta here and there.
I’ve improved myself, and I’m not done by any means. I’ve found plenty of ways to keep improving myself.
Here’s what I didn’t expect. I had placed my wife on a pedestal for so long. And let me tell you, I polished that pedestal like you wouldn’t believe! I was proud of it (raised by a single mother). I truly believed it was my role to serve her like a princess. It makes me sick now to think about it. I had placed her on a pedestal for so long, that I always saw her in my mind’s eye as a couple points above me. I could never have imagined now being attracted to her. Now, I’m more HV and I find myself losing attraction to her.
I know RP is amoral. I know I have to figure this out for myself too. I’m asking the community, what are some strategies for dealing with this? Are there only two options - suck it up with the wife or spin plates?
Bring on the criticism.
[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret11 points12 points13 points (6 children) | Copy
[–]Bushpilot817[S] 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy
[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy
[–]Bushpilot817[S] 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]suprathepeg4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]gameoflibidos0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]simbarlionRed Beret7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (5 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (4 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]jkp991 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]wkndatbernardus5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]FvckYourSafeSpace 1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy
[–]Bushpilot817[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (7 children) | Copy
[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Bushpilot817[S] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]youscum 1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy
[–]Bushpilot817[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]turbospeedsc0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]RedPillCoach2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]raywinstonsaysyouwot1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Bushpilot817[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red6 points7 points8 points (13 children) | Copy
[–]Bushpilot817[S] 1 point2 points3 points (12 children) | Copy
[–]Whiteliesmatter11 point2 points3 points (11 children) | Copy
[–]Bushpilot817[S] 0 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy
[–]DanceMonkeeDanceRed Beret0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Bushpilot817[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Whiteliesmatter10 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy
[–]Bushpilot817[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Bushpilot817[S] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]Whiteliesmatter11 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Bushpilot817[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]jkp990 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]Whiteliesmatter11 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]jkp990 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]Bushpilot817[S] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Big_Daddy_PDX1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Bushpilot817[S] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Bushpilot817[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Bushpilot817[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy