- 24 y/o, 178 cm, 160 lbs, don't know my BF%.
- SQ 305, DL 430, BP 225, OHP 135.
- Read the RP sidebar posts, the wiki, Jack10's comments, SGM, NMMNG, WISNIFG, The Book of Pook and MMSLP.
- GF also 24 y/o, dating for 6 years and living together for six months.
Question at the end.
I feel that I have been improving a lot in the last couple of weeks. I'm communicating my needs and drawing boundaries, stopping with the covert contracts, etc. I'm starting to make it clear to my GF that she needs to respect me, so she's being way nicer and more pleasant to be around.
But it seems that she simply doesn't get that I'm not satisfied with the sex. We went from once a month to maybe once every other week. She forgets to take her pills than has a period in the middle of her cycle. She seems to not really care weather we have sex or not. I'm not sure why so I would like some help to figure out what I'm doing wrong. But first some context:
Her parents have a really fucked up relationship (at least from my perspective). Her mom is complete utter bitch that tears down absolutely everything her dad says. She takes everything her husband says as an opportunity to complain, put him down and raise questions on his competence. I have noticed that whenever my GF spends time with her parents she becomes disrespectful to me and I have to put in work resetting boundaries and exposing unacceptable behaviour on her part. Because of this exemples my GF seems to have some fucked up expectations, like that I'm supposed to do things for her (compliance tests) to show that I love her and that it's completely ok for a couple not to have sex, because love should be bigger than that.
Now, I was able to deal with expectation that I'm supposed to do things for her. But for that I had to overtly communicate that "Look, I love you and want to be with you. But if you really think that I need to take orders and run errands to show that I care, we better break up right now because I'm not willing to do that.". Apparently it worked because her hamster keeps under control when I don't comply with a request now.
But how do I do that with sex? Because the understanding seems to be that you're not supposed to do anything that looks like asking for sex. Would it be different in this situation? Like I need to make clear that a no sex relationship is not ok to me and that she needs to put in more effort?
Or should I just try to create dread and up my SMV?
Maybe I'm even missing the mark completely, so if anyone could help I would appreciate a lot.