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How to get wife to go work/earn more

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July 20, 2018
7 upvotes

CTS: RP 3 mos ago, 5'6" 149, 22%BF

SQ: 200; BP: 125; OHP: 95; ROW: 135; DL 225

Read: WISNIFG, Extreme Ownership, reading NMMNG & RM

Low T (working on naturally for now); No rejections, but few initiations by me

Could call maybe 2 women this weekend; DL 5; 6 more months until I am a man with options

Background: I've finally consulted with an attorney to go over my current situation and how bad things might get should the "go phase" become necessary. One of the main takeaways was that my wife (36) is massively "underemployed" which causes a huge disparity in our income (my income should continue to increase steadily over the next 5 years - kids will all be out in 6) and means I will get fucked on alimony, etc. This is of course my fault, and I have actually encouraged her to be a SAHM and "artist" for most of our marriage. She has had some of her own businesses that have earned some income, and is currently in a part-time retail job, but never anything consistent or approaching a career. She does have a college degree and no mental or physical disabilities. We have at times in the past talked about her getting an actual job, but have always settled on her "pursuing her passion" and taking care of the kids. I pull my weight with taking care of the kids, and while she does take them to Dr appts etc. during the day when I am at work, the rest of the burden is at least equally shared.

I brought it up to her last night in the context of our kids getting older and not needing her to shuttle them around as much, and she reacted fairly defensively, but followed up this morning with a text stating she was more receptive to the idea, but has no clue what kind of work she can do. I told her that I would brainstorm some ideas.

Question: Have any of you had any luck transitioning your wife from SAHM (or even just lazy) to becoming an earner/contributor? I wasn't particularly artful in how I brought it up, so I need some better ideas on persuasion here. I did tell her that I did not think she needed to spend so much of her time being available for the kids and that I would like her to contribute more to our income, especially since the kids will be gone in a few years.


Post Information
Title How to get wife to go work/earn more
Author magnoliagent123
Upvotes 7
Comments 9
Date 20 July 2018 06:56 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204180
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/90ipl3/how_to_get_wife_to_go_workearn_more/
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WISNIFGNMMNG
Comments

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

You need to sell your wife on the mission. Right now she has her mission and you have yours. There can only be one.

I'm putting my wife through college. I made it clear to here, kids are going to college, we need to keep planning for retirement and none of these can be done with her as a. SAHM.

What's your mission and how does your wife help?

[–]magnoliagent123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great question. The real problem is probably that my mission has changed and I am not adequately communicating it. She is still supporting my old mission, which was focused solely on her and the kids. I am admittedly still formulating my new mission, but there are parts that I can easily communicate to her that would reinforce my new mission (having money to travel and save for retirement).

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

SQ: 200; BP: 125; OHP: 95; ROW: 135; DL 225

i really don't see the value of those numbers. your height, weight, bf% is a lot more helpful in my opinion. also, from an aesthetic standpoint, i'm personally a proponent of the golden ratio as mentioned in "the adonis index"

take your height in inches x .45 and you get your ideal waist measurement relative to your height

take that number and multiply it by 1.62 and get your ideal shoulder measurement relative to your waist. so for you:

5'6" = 66 inches

66 x .45 = 29.7'' waist (round up to 30)

30 x 1.62 = 48.6" shoulders (round up to 49)

personally i would find those numbers much more helpful and telling when trying to determine how in shape you are than how much you can squat and bench

[–]magnoliagent123[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Agree. Haven't seen that formula and have not been measuring shoulders, but will start. Thanks.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you bet. also, your wife has a college degree and a job. a judge will take her earning potential into account in most states i believe, not just exactly what she's been earning. if you can show she's capable because of her degree, but that she's just an under-performer, it might help your cause

of course that's just what i remember from talking with a divorced friend. i've never done it myself so take it with a grain of salt

[–]helaughsinhidden0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What is your mission BASICALLY? In a general sense?

  1. Do you want her to earn money so that the divorce rape is lessened?
  2. Are you looking to build more wealth together for retirement, leisure, etc?
  3. Have you both agreed to pay for the kids college? (how old are the kids)
  4. Do you want better vehicles, vacations, and lifestyle?

If it is #1, you are gonna have a hard time just getting her to do this out of nowhere. 2-4 are easy missions to sell her on, especially if your kids are teens and aren't looking like full scholarship material, which most kids aren't.

[–]magnoliagent123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Circling back to this...I started the conversation motivated primarily by #1, and she probably subconsciously knew. I've since steered the conversation to #2-4 and am making actual progress. Really appreciate the insight.



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