Background:. Started with red pill about 3 weeks ago and things were moving along pretty good with her reacting well. She was basically begging me for the last 2 years not to be a blue pill bitch and I didn't see it because everybody around me tells me the exact opposite. the last three nights have been great up until the time we are getting ready for bed and there's a massive shit test. Last night I blue pill bitch out and leave and but a pack of cigarettes, damn it, been done with them for months. Then come back and she is still shitty. Go to sleep. In the morning she drives 20 minutes out of her way about an hour before she has to be to work to give me something I forgot at home without me asking. Felt good about that.
Incident:. Tonight we take my daughter and my son to dinner at their request and come home and begin to watch one of the shows were watching at her request. I feel like it is time she wants to spend together. One of her high needs friends calls her twice but she won't tell me who is calling her she just kills the phone call without answering. Then the high need friend calls my phone and I show her and she shakes her hand of the phone which I think means answer it but she really meant don't. After I get off the phone and she's yelling at me that I shouldn't have"fucking answered the phone when she said not to"etc. I don't do disrespect anymore in the last 3 weeks not even one bit so I got my gym clothes on because the choice earlier was either watch a show with my wife go to the gym and I went to the fucking gym for leg day. Come home and get shit tested again and STFU and go to the other room. Come back after 15 minutes to watch television where I want to and the comfort/shit tests begin
Sidenote:. Everyone is going to shit all over me for this for stereotypes, but it's my situation and not some bullshit. I'm a white dude married to a black woman. So the dynamic is very twisted. The expectation from her is abandonment and cheating and she is very very Alpha from the start since she was a single mother of 4 for years after her ex went to prison. Sounds racist? IDGAF, it's my reality.
So the comfortshit test is her yelling at me about how there's something wrong with me lately and then switching to she knows I'm cheating on her. She's certain. And crying about what is it that it's wrong with her. I laugh it off and she just gets fucking pissed. Saying everything is a joke to me and that she's tried to get her medication upped since she is sad all the time, them sobbing and saying to leave her alone etc. What a fucking mess. Tells me I'm such an asshole for being flippant and that she will talk to me when I'm sober (4 beers). She's a mess. So I sit with her and pat her shoulder, (tried to hold her but she shoved me away) and tell her she's awesome and it's too bad she's sad all the time but I can't fix that and that when it all works out she will be just fine. That everything will be ok. Then she passes out.
Conclusion:. What in the actual FUCK? A lot of this shit is right along the lines of what everyone has described here, but in the raw it's like the difference in watching a shootout in a movie and in real life. Good Lord.
Question: No question. I'm just totally in her frame worried she is going to freak out and leave me since she thinks I'm cheating on her. Still starfish once a week though? How the fuck is she not just fucking my brains out if she wants to keep me? Hey dread level that high and she's shit testing me? As I write this I realize the whole you're cheating on me is dread, but it's manipulation too. They are crazy. All of them.