Brief background: In my 30s, divorced, one kid (under 5), 50/50 time split with baby momma. I've been spinning plates, usually two at a time, for a while now. Never introduced one to the kid for obvious reasons.
This isn't an issue for me currently but I'd like to solicit some field reports and thoughts from the men of this sub that have experience in this matter... in advance of it becoming an issue, if ever.
As a girl climbs the ranks from ONS - Plate - FWB - Girlfriend, when and how have you introduced the kid?
If she has her own kid, when and how did you co-mingle them?
I've identified a tension within myself between:
- Wanting to demonstrate a proper male-female model of interaction for my kid, and
- wanting to limit any emotionally distress to my kid.
To clarify, I'm not seeking a LTR to accomplish the former nor am I willing to forgo one to eliminate the risk of the latter. My experience being serial monogamy (without children) and plate-spinning (with a kid) has left a void in my experience I'm hoping to outsource here.
My gut thinks that the right call is to ease into it thusly:
- Public outings - meet at parks, etc where it's obviously kid-centric but daddy has a friend (minimal PDA - hug hello / good bye, friendly Kino) and we part ways.
- Public outings that venue change to my place - she comes home with us for a meal or something and leaves.
- Allow the direct-to-home visits, maintaining minimal PDA at first and slowly ramp if all are comfortable... like snuggling on couch, kisses hello / good bye, etc
- No overnight stays until 3-6 months are spent at step 3.