Advice: Call out Chad or keep quiet until home while I am deployed? Papers are being generated...

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July 14, 2018


Stats: 6'3 - 240 - 18%- SQ/DL 430 - Bench - 245 < Form related> OHP - 185 - Deployed but going to go for 1000lb club here.

Want to provide an update to the ongoings with SBX, Chad, and deployment.

Per the advice here I have been keeping everything on the logistics side of the house and focused on my daughter. I have a lawyer prepping divorce papers which I will provide to SBX when I get back.

One issue that is sticking with me is the Chad. It's been confirmed but the SBX is unaware that I know about the Chad. I took the advice that she has the high ground and to get my shit in place to attack from ambush so I have been holding off.

I am in the process of getting one of my homes ready to sell. My SBX left some of her stuff there, while most of its mine. I told her I was going to take care of it when I got back but I found out that I am delayed out here so I was moving forward with taking care of it.

Recently had the realtor send over a sales agreement that the wife denied. I called her up to ask "WTF" and I heard the "the plan is changing, I don't know whats going on" which I fogged and said the plan has changed and I am taking care of it. I kept repeating that I was moving forward. She was like "Let me know if you need any help etc, and what I can do blah blah blah"

Anyways with that, I inquired about my weekly FaceTime with my daughter and she brought up the fact that the SBX was going camping. She told me everybody who was going, Chad's friends, friends of Chad, etc etc, but didn't state Chad's name. Oh my...

I started to get amused. I dropped a "Are there kids for our kid to play with" She paused and did "I'm having a babysitter watch her" which I responded with "You are going camping hours away from my daughter and you didn't mention this last week?" Hamster started spinning up talking about how she needs to get away, have some fun time, etc.

That is the point where I wanted to call her out but per the 48 Laws you let them in as close as possible before you strike. I told her to have fun and we'll talk later.

I could hear the guilt bleeding through but my question comes down to this. So I know there is a Chad and the SBX brings him around my daughter and that is the main issue. Wife will deny it but when Chad and SBX are covering their digital footprints this has been played out before. I think the wife is in denial of her affair because she probably doesn't see it that way, but whoa is the hypergamy and the hamster.

Apologize about the length but I'm looking at the best COA for my daughter.

TLDR: Deployed. Wife has a Chad, who she brings around my daughter. Call out now or strike when I get home?

Post Information
Title Advice: Call out Chad or keep quiet until home while I am deployed? Papers are being generated...
Author broneilbro
Upvotes 9
Comments 37
Date 14 July 2018 05:35 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret32 points33 points  (5 children) | Copy

No brainer- strike when you get home.

Congrats on your composure and restraint.

[–]Senor_Martillo8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

A side note: this guy banging your wife while you’re deployed in his service doesn’t deserve the sobriquet of “Chad”.

This sneaking piece of shit is a Jody.

[–]broneilbro[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Haha that is true. Jody would be the term for the guy that fucks your wife because she lets him when you are thousand of miles away.

I think I might be the first person for this to happen to...<sarcastic>

[–]screechhaterRed Beret5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

It’s tough what you are going through .... but remain in control of your emotions and keep your anger in check.

Lifting obviously will quell the rage.

Forget her, and forget Chad. Guilt is a motherfucker and she is bleeding it. Enjoy.

Revenge is best served cold, and in the presence of the offensive party.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The best revenge is living well.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret3 points4 points  (8 children) | Copy

Don't aim to inflict damage now or later, it's the weaker path, and the flak will hit your daughter.

Pretty sure I would fucking lose it FWIW.

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

You are exactly right. I’m not going to do it and now I could care less for my wife’s actions but for bringing Chad around my daughter will be a boundary I’ll have to enforce.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

will be a boundary I’ll have to enforce.

How are you possibly going to enforce this?

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Fuck, my hamster spun up on that. You are right. How would one go about saying that her bringing Chad around my daughter is not right? I know she will go and deny but letting it be known it is not acceptable is what I’m trying to get at.

[–]Nothimorher1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

First off I say wait until you go home dot the I's and cross the T's then go full nuclear and burn her house down.

On the Chad thing once you are separated she is going to want comfort and validation from another cock. That may mean that in time she will replace you and Chad with a blue pill orbiter so you will never be able to control what man is around your daughter unless you end up with full custody.

[–]broneilbro[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'll agree with you on this. I'll be juggling so many things getting back that it is one last thing on top of it.

The good ole Chad conundrum is it. I think the Chad will realize that "Well shit, she cheated on him, she will cheat on me". She will realize that emotional comfort and validation from a BP. Her good old orbiter that she has had for years just got engaged so he is going to be out the door. I just find it amusing how everything is playing out to the T that RP describes. I chuckle at it.

Overall, I think that is the biggest point that is putting anger into this is that some guy might end up tucking my daughter in at night. I don't know who the fuck that guy might be but boy help it if he thinks he will replace me as her father and does something he would regret, but that is me getting ahead of the curve.

I do want to say I truly appreciate the advice and knowledge that MRP has provided over the past year.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Do you have a plan in place on how to win? If you don't, you're reacting out of emotion and feels. Be much more strategic, tactical, and systematic than you generally are, because generally, you run around like a headless chicken shrieking like a bitch.

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Win at what? The divorce or life? I’m going to execute my MAP and life plan as I will. I’m going to build my new life as I want it to. My focus is my daughter and then me and after that anybody else.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

[–]alphasixfour1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

Ambush is murder, and murder is fun. Maintain discipline until squad leader initiates with claymore.

i.e. what everyone has already said. There is a certain amount of lost control that comes with distance. It sucks, but stay on mission, let your enemy make the mistake and fall completely into your trap.

Wait until you are home and have all the variables covered.

You have no control until you get home. She is done, I know this is about your daughter but make sure it’s only about that. Don’t let your residual desire to mateguard creep in and manifest as a desire to call out Chad.

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

This. Greene states you need to put a facade on sometimes when you want to get a different outcome.

SBX honestly thinks I’m going to entertain a “trial separation” when I’ll have my plan in place.

I’m minimizing the emotions within our limited discussions. I haven’t done a “OMg take me back. What can I do?!?” And I won’t as that BP is buried deep.

I have my plans for the first 8 weeks I’m back, as I have stacks of things to do and will focus on those in front. My issue with planning I was thinking only long term vs short term.

My mother is scared because I’m so calm about all this is going gives me chuckles.

As for calling out the Jody, more I think about it that would be explaining my actions when she would know what caused it.

[–]alphasixfour1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

You have fuckall to explain to her. She is the enemy now. Let her wonder how much you knew and when you knew it for the rest of her miserable little life. Don’t DEER.

And Jody will get his. They always do.

[–]broneilbro[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You are exactly right. The family and friends will ask but it is expected of them.

The Jody will get it as they always do but again focus on my daughter is the goal.

For when the family does ask is it okay to explain or not?

[–]alphasixfour5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think it’s fine to stoically tell the adults in your life that “she decided not to be married anymore while I was away.” And leave it at that.

They’ll know she is a whore.

As for your daughter. Don’t tell her anything until she is an adult and asks someday. Maybe she never will.

Concentrate on being a great dad and building a great relationship with her and her mom‘s failings will manifest themselves over and over again as she grows up.

Take comfort in the fact that there is a special place in hell for those who betray the tribe’s warriors while they are away defending the tribe.

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That is solid. I won't throw shit around because it shows weakness but the stoic "Actions has reactions" or "Infidelities has collateral damage" is the another good one.

I am focused on building a relationship with my daughter. I cannot make up for the year that I have been away but definitely she will be the center of my actions.

SBX was a child of divorce (red flag) and her mom was cancerous putting venom in her ear about trying to get her to hate her dad (He filed for divorce). That can be a double edged sword in leverage against her but I'll be the bigger person in this.

SBX will understand once she is on her own. It will sadly be a rude awakening.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

SBX honestly thinks I’m going to entertain a “trial separation” when I’ll have my plan in place.

The "trial separation" bit sounds like something she cooked up because she doesn't want to be viewed as the wife that killed the puppy while you were deployed, but also wants to be free to fuck Chad Jody without technically being a cheater. She's setting the stage to fight the post-divorce PR battle on her terms. Not much you can do about it right now except quietly play along and make sure that you're not caught off guard later.

[–]broneilbro[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. I at first agreed with it in the sense that some aspects were right about not wanting the BP me back, but her insecurities and guilt bled through. She was bringing up trivial things like me going to the gym, I’m probably sleeping with girls out here, etc. when she started singing that I knew something big happened between her and Jody. I mean she went on a 30 minute rant about “her and she” in which she never mentioned our daughter.

I told her a trial separation was the deployment itself. She bought a house and is paying to be separated. I chuckled at that but again a year ago I wouldn’t be. I would be a mess and such.

I got my plan for when I get back as I’m in a new town and starting my life over. I have enough cash to take sometime off and focus on building the life I want and I’ll do that.

It will be a challenge but MRP has been providing me with the knowledge I need to see the truth.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy



[–]broneilbro[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Lol, preworkout was kicking in and Slipknot was playing. The 48 Laws reference a lot of war so it bled through.

Strike = Act

[–]PersaeusRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh I understand what you meant by strike. What you’re not understanding is just how little control you have over your STBX and who and what she does with your daughter. The sooner you come to accept this , the better off you will be

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

why the fuck do you care if she leaves your daughter with a babysitter?

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I care if she leaves her with a babysitter overnight and when before she would tell me weeks prior of her plans. It was more of a pick for her reasoning, not really the action.

I also schedule my weekly FaceTime with my daughter and the fact she didn’t mention it wouldn’t happen is another red flag.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

yes you have plenty to be pissed about. your wife being responsible and leaving your daughter with a babysitter so she doesn't have to hear mommy fucking another guy isn't one of them

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Haha that is what I chuckled at. The amusing thing is that I saw this coming. She had mentioned camping this weekend to her mom who mentioned to my mom who mentioned to me. She hadn’t mentioned it to me as it was her opportunity to get Jody’s cock without the kid. I appreciate that fact haha. Also Jody’s actions after our discussion made it even more amusing.

Moving forward I’ll won’t call her out and just provide papers. So many red flags it looks like a Communist rally, yet at the same time I’m playing “oblivious” not to draw attention to plans.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

i'd take it one step further. don't give her any clue you know about her affair. serve her the papers and just say it's cause you met some women overseas who made you realize you had no feelings for her. make her feel genuinely dumped for not being good enough, not for getting one over on you. if she says "well i cheated on you!!" in retort, look at her like that's great news and say "see! now that erases any doubt about this move!" and slap her on the ass as you walk away

never let a woman know she's gotten under your skin. it feels way better to make them think you've simply lost interest

alpha widow the cheating whore

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Haha, I don't know if I can pull that off verbatim but I get the point. That is one thing that as I slowly swallowed the pill and forced it down the initial red flags were more disappointing, then the PI finding it reinforced it. It was a little more anger, but the more I read I became amused as she was doing what is expected of her to the T.

When she mentioned that she was buying a house, I was like wow that's interesting. She then went into the "epiphany" phase and "we have been growing apart" blah blah. I just listened and I was chuckling the entire time. The main idea that was clear to me is my wife only thinks about herself. After her "eat pray love" rant I mentioned she failed to say anything about our daughter which caused the hamster to stumble. I plainly told her "Ok, lets move forward it".

She wholeheartedly expected me to revert to my BP ways of chasing her but since the "main event" she has talked more, and fighting my attention because all I have been talking about is logistics and my daughter. Nothing further. No emotions or feelings. It's really spinning her up.

TLDR: Putting MRP advice into action, seeing the desired outcome.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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