I know that this sub focuses on working on yourself in order to be the best, most desirable mate for your partner, and that in doing so, in becoming a better man, you can work through the issues in your relationship and ideally see problems decrease.
My long-term girlfriend has a nasty tendency of getting mean when she's mad. It's not a daily or super regular thing, but it has happened many times over the course of our relationship. I'm talking verbal insults, her calling me stupid, a "fucking idiot," yelling at me, speaking in a dismissive, scolding tone, telling me to "shut the fuck up" - basically a lot of verbal disrespect.
At times in the past I have just sort of taken it, been a punk, really. After a while, though, I got fed up and started handling it better by telling her not to talk to me like that, that I find it incredibly disrespectful, pointing out that I never disrespect her in that way. I don't think this approach has really helped, though, because the disrespect is still there from time to time.
So just yesterday she got upset with me over something, that turned into a bit of an argument and she was saying that she didn't want to talk, I was pressing the issue because I didn't know why she was even mad, and she told me to "shut the fuck up." She has said this before, but it has been a long time. I had a talk with her the last time she said it, and other times she's said something super disrespectful like that, but here it is again. I'm really done with being spoken to like that. I'm an easy-going guy and I've never spoken to her in this way.
I've asked friends and they've told me that their wives/girlfriends have never said something like that to them. I've looked for advice online and have read about couples who have never spoken to each other like that, women that claim they've never said anything disrespectful like that to their men. So this is my question: are there women out there who will truly respect you, who won't ever insult you or yell or curse at you? Are any of you in relationships where your lady has never done something like this? Or... is this behavior that all women display and it is up to me to handle it right so that it doesn't happen again?
I ask because I feel that I handle this better now, I don't just take it, I make it known that it's not okay, yet it still persists. We're not married yet and I don't know how to stop it other than leaving the relationship for good. My thoughts are that marriage will bring an increase in this sort of disrespect, and that it could one day be thrown at me in front of the kids (no kids yet though).
TL,DR: Girlfriend is verbally disrespectful at times, even after me letting her know it is NOT okay, wondering if this is something I can fix or if there are women out there I could have a relationship with who would never be disrespectful in this way.
Thanks for any input!