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OPSEC compromised and wife found some fight club.

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June 30, 2018
8 upvotes
  1. 5’8. 152 lbs. BF about 13-14% 5x5 stats SQ 200, DL260, BP 150, OHP 100, Row 110

Have not read anything from sidebar in the last few weeks. Just working on owning my shit, STFU and my business.

I’ve mentioned before that due to some trust issues and blue pill nice guy fuck ups, my wife takes my phone sometimes. Usually when I’m asleep.

I thought my phone was clean. I wasn’t signed into anything. Not clean enough.

I discovered MRP when I was close to being kicked out of the house as my wife thought I was messing around. It was then branded an emotional affair after she went through my emails. I was also fine with moving out and wanted to leave but stayed. Money, kids, fear, being a BP faggot are the reasons. We saw a councillor and you know how that goes.

I forgot that when I first came across redpill, I put the link into the reading list in my browser. I completely forgot about this as I never use the reading list.

I had NMMNG something from a pua website which is a dead link. Poon Cheatau heartiste

She discovered these and is especially referencing the pua site and poon as me wanting to be a misogynist, wanting to find other women, bringing back the “emotional affair”.

Due to the info she read, especially poon and a pua web link, I fell into my old self of DEERing. Tried to limit it and did not disclose any further info about Fight Club. Just said “judge me on my actions” which I feel are owning my shit and taking her feels into account. Links were sent to her family and my sister.

Let’s be honest, from a Disney fairytale, treat her like a princess or equal, some parts of the sidebar are not “nice”.

How would you handle it if wife found that part of MRP/TRP as the only parts. I could have DEERed more and explained the positive side of fight club but we’re not supposed to talk about it.


Post Information
Title OPSEC compromised and wife found some fight club.
Author DEERinRPHeadlights
Upvotes 8
Comments 87
Date 30 June 2018 01:07 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204265
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8uyaqf/opsec_compromised_and_wife_found_some_fight_club/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
Roissythe red pillthe blue pillPUAcloseNMMNG
Comments

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"20 points21 points  (3 children) | Copy

In essence, your own wife doxxed you. What a bitch.

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yep.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

This sub wants to know what her lifts are.

[–]RedPillCoach13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

We know her Deadlift is at least 152 pounds because she is throwing him around like a rag doll.

[–]RPGivesYouWings6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Links were sent to her family and my sister."

Guess what, faggot, she's preparing to leave you. I'm going to guess that your harpy has some abandonment-fear issues that you brought to the surface with your beta orbiting of what I can only guess was a low SMV slag, the "emotional affair." Her discovering PUA articles only intensified those fears and now you're royally fucked.

By sending out those links she's softened the ground for her or you filing for divorce, but has hardened the position of her being the victim and you being the asshole. Prepare for social isolation, constant shitty comfort tests, her crossing your weak and new boundaries, a main event, and divorce rape. Honestly, I don't give a fuck about how you got here, and neither should you short of learning from your lack of captainship... Your course forward is the same regardless: lift, side bar, lurk.

Put in the time and the work, and one of two outcomes will happen: 1) you'll be better and so will your marriage; 2) you'll be better and you'll be free.

[–]UnbreakableFrame10 points11 points  (6 children) | Copy

Honestly, I would just leave the relationship. She sent a bunch of links, of content that she hasn't even read, to her family in order to get them to gang up on you? Just put your nose down into the sidebar, lift, develop frame, raise your SMV, and after all that, take a good hard look at the kind of bullshit you were dealing with. You may have been a bluepilled faggot and a mess of a man, but she's manipulative beyond what I would even attempt to fix.

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Not to gang up on me. Just to continue the victim role / mentality.

[–]FFDGTDS1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

To make you look foolish and have to defend yourself...misogynist!

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

All women turn to the herd and try to sway public opinion in their favor. AWALT. If you left women for doing this then there wouldn't be any marriage at all.

Might not be a bad thing, but just saying.

[–]JameisBong0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

newbie, i kind of agree with this. In the process of ending mine (secretly of course) I don't see any way forward for this. Essentially she knows the new you is advice from other men on the internet, that makes you even more weak in her eyes.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

what was the jackten line? leave, and promise yourself you'll never put yourself in a position to fail like this again.

[–]askmeanything221 points22 points  (3 children) | Copy

Let's make sure we have this correct:

  • your wife snoops on your phone
  • she find some links and sends them to her family and your sister

Is that accurate? You put up with this?

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

  1. That is accurate.
  2. That’s why I’m here. Im not ok with this. I’m so far in her frame and blue pill that I’m not sure how to react when she flips the conversation back to how my affair nearly broke her.

I didn’t bring the snooping up as a problem as the response to something similar in the past was affair affair affair. This time I STFU and tried to treat her opinion of TRP as no big deal.

[–]FFDGTDS2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not sure if you’re aware of this but some phones have security features.

[–]Shyrk1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can’t help but notice you keep forgetting to put “affair” in quotes.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

You are the Prize mother fucker. Start acting like it faggot.

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’ll get there.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you have to actually do something first.

[–]DeplorableRay12 points13 points  (5 children) | Copy

You own your shit. Tell her you’re “working on you” and stfu. It’s none of her business. Who cares what she thinks? You aren’t allowed to read the internet? Did she not give you permission?

You have a frame problem.

I’ve never once in my 2+ Years here had to hide anything. She has come across some material and asked me about it. Since I don’t give a fuck, she doesn’t give a fuck. When you respond with emotion, that’s when they give a fuck. She doesn’t care what it is, only how she feels about it.

And you aren’t attractive. Be attractive.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

“Let’s be honest, from a Disney fairytale, treat her like a princess or equal, some parts of the sidebar are not “nice”.”

OP is still plugged in. You’re right, nothing to hide, nothing to explain. If she demands an answer, tell her to suck your cock.

OP, give less fucks.

“She discovered these and is especially referencing the pua site and poon as me wanting to be a misogynist”

She sounds like a real harpy sexless controlling cunt. You choose poorly. Is she dtf?

Edit: just caught this: “Links were sent to her family and my sister.”

She emailed your links to her family? Wtf

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP, give less fucks.

This is all that needs to be said.

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She doesn’t care what it is, only how she feels about it.

AND you can determine how she feels about it because how she feels is determined by how you feel. If you are anxious/ashamed and DEER guess how she will react.

If you laugh and say "Yah, I am studying ways to turn your panties into a dripping, slippery mess" then the most she will do is feign outrage or complain that "all you ever want me for is sex" to which you assure her that you also want her for blowjobs.

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I’ll respond as her: “Working on what. Picking up women, treating me like crap because that’s what this is. Would a husband who loves and respects his wife want to be that type of person”

She hit me out of the blue with it, then hit me with some more NMMNG mistakes I’ve made and finished me off with affair.

I initially started to deer and explain. Then just fogged to watch my actions and STFU.

The subject is against the grain to a blue pill beta. I haven’t internalised RedPill truths properly and the ones I have I don’t know how to defend (stfu, aa, am) when confronted....yet.

The fact that I had only about 6 things in my reading list in total, of which 5 were TRP didn’t help.

[–]DeplorableRay1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

“The subject is against the grain to a blue pill beta. I haven’t internalised RedPill truths properly and the ones I have I don’t know how to defend (stfu, aa, am) when confronted....yet.”

Why do you feel the need to defend yourself? Is she doesn’t like it, show her the front door.

“The fact that I had only about 6 things in my reading list in total, of which 5 were TRP didn’t help.”

-Didn’t help what? That you can’t make mommy happy?

We aren’t here to make our women happy, we are here to make ourselves happy. They are responsible for their own feelings.

Notice how she assumes you’re reading about game so you can pull strange. She clearly sees you as beta and she’s more concerned about keeping you in her frame, but not in her pussy.

Be fucking attractive and she won’t think you’re reading up on game to pull strange, she’ll already assume you can.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Welcome to the locker room. Now get out before I snap your ass with a wet towel."

[–]suprathepeg5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

DGAF, I always try to play like I got nothing to hide, cause I don’t.

So don’t talk about it as dinner convo, if she asks me about something specific I’m not gonna lie or try and hide it like a bitch.

My past self would WAAAAY over explain this shit. Something I’m working on.

It’s not like she couldn’t find this shit with google, that’s how I found it.

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That’s how I found it too.

I STFU and it haven’t been said since but it’s clear that the issue is still lingering.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

What are you talking about some of the sidebar isn’t nice? That is your BP thinking coming out.. Own it and STFU

You sound terrified of your wife. Why are you scared of a girl?

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I mean from the perspective of a blue pill wife.

I’m not scared of her per se, but I still give a fuck what people think.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I cringed at the same thing. OP hasn’t internalized shit. Beta brainwashing goes deep with this one.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I wouldn’t be surprised if this was a chick troll... talking about how some of the side bar isn’t “nice.” That sounds like something a. Chick would say.

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’d love if this was a troll. Then I wouldn’t be actually in this mess.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

It's not rocket science...

Your problem is not that your wife found the sidebar, it is that she doesn't trust you.

[–]MrTippy3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Her not trusting him is not his problem. It's her problem. Trust isn't earned. It's given.

Trying to earn someone's trust results in chasing a moving goal post.

However, if OP is not trustworthy, then you're right. It is his problem.

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I had / have nice guy avoidance tendencies. I made the situation of me being untrustworthy. My fault, my problem.

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bingo.

[–]Fritz_Frauenraub2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

My first big frame victory was the epic frame battle that ensued when my wife discovered this place. It dragged on for a whole day and culminated with her flinging a printout of 16 Poon in my face like a trial lawyer producing the smoking gun.

I just shrugged and said "that's some shit I've known since I was 18 years old. They wrote it up for internet losers."

redpill is a cult! Misogyny! They're probably all white nationalists! Etc etc etc. I just broken record "it's a self improvement program". In the end she gave up. Now I read askMRP right in front of her. "Hows your little man group going?" "Same horny losers."

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I need to firm up on this. I started with a similar train of conversation but then deered before I STFU.

[–]Fritz_Frauenraub0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Broken record when your wife is demanding that you DEER & supplicate is like deadlifts for your frame.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

I wouldn't care less if my SO found anything I read on the internet, because I do this for me. I'm a free man and I'll do what I want.

If she is so untrusting, then next time leave a link to Red Pill women, or surrendered wife so she can "find" those. Maybe she will learn something about herself... like she is a low-quality woman, shrew, and bitch.

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Had I not read a few recent posts about not talking about fight club, I would have showed her how MRP is different to TRP and is about improving myself for me to be happy in my marriage.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh great - so mommy can approve? Jesus fucking christ.

You're such a scared pussy. No wonder you aren't respected.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fixed this for you...

Had I not read a few recent posts about not talking about fight club, I would have showed her how MRP is different to TRP and is about improving myself for me to be happy in my marriage.

You have to be your own mental point of origin. Chicks will never get TRP, MRP, PUA, or any RP... doesn't matter. I don't get romance novels, how misandrist 3rd/4thwave feminazis are tolerated by women, or female sub-communications, but that doesn't matter either.

[–]TheBlueStare1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

This happened to me recently. I have a long way to go but this discussion was proof to me that frame is everything.

Her: What is this is?

Me: I'm becoming a better husband

Her: she mentions something about red pill

Me: It came from red pill, but I'm becoming a better husband

Her: she mentions something about some post

Me: some of the guys have shitty marriages. I'm becoming a better husband

She hasn't said another thing about it.

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks.

[–]RedPillAtNight3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Finding your stuff, who cares. Sending to other people, not cool. She’s not on your team. Bad first officer. Deal with appropriately.

When I was married my wife didn’t like that I had a subscription to Playboy. She bitched about it. I didn’t care. I told her that when the renewal notice came to renew it. She did. Problem solved.

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

See I wouldn’t have done this. I’d have kept it secret and let it be a problem. This part of owning my shit is something I’m not doing.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’d have kept it secret and let it be a problem

Welcome to the root of your problem.

[–]Captain_pants41 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Say “shut up bitch”

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Tempting. This will kill the puppy.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

OK, then say "Get over hear and bend over." See what that does.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If telling your wife to "shut up bitch" will cause a divorce you have much bigger problems than a pathetic bench press.

[–]jacksarmy1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Would you be allowed look at movies, read books or converse with others who opinions she doesn't agree with??? What kind of dystopia do you live in? your free to read what ever the fuck you want.

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yes I am free to read what I want but she clearly judges me for it.

[–]EveryGodDamnDay1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Let her.

[–]Cloudsurf891 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

1) New password on your phone and compiter etc. "No you can't just have access any more because you take the piss."

2) Continue to STFU apart from when you...

3) Ask your wife what to do next as it would appear that she's read and most probably internalised more of the side bar and reading list than you

4) Seriously, get a grip - actually own your shit and stop letting the overgrown teenager of the house jerk you around

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

1) New password on your phone and compiter etc. "No you can't just have access any more because you take the piss."

I'd totally forgotten this aspect of the post. One could soften your reply, tho, and when asked, say, while handing it over "You're not going to start fucking whining again, are you?" While grabbing her tits and/or ass with his other hand.

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

  1. I didn’t change in the past as I had nothing to hide. Except apparently I did. I change it now and it looks like I’m hiding something which will probably damage the relationship further.

  2. Doing.

  3. Cough.

  4. I need to work much harder on this .

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

"Whew! It's a good thing that's ALL you found." Then walk away.

Nothing you say or do will somehow magically get her to trust you. She wants to fight about this. How do you get her to drop it? Make her bored. Just don't make it a big deal and eventually neither will she.

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’ll use that if she brings it up again.

After I initially stopped deering, that’s what happened. Except she’s still acting a bit shitty. I’ll keep doing me and leave her to it.

[–]Cloudsurf890 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Once she notices you've changed it you could simply state "I've changed the password because I don't want you having unrestricted access to my phone".

Treat this as the first of many shit tests. Keep calm, don't DEER - hold your frame of "I'm working on me, you work on you" and be outcome independent. If she kicks off and tries to throw you out the house then keep calm and aloof and remove yourself from the situation - go work out. Then 3-4 hours later play your nice card and continue as though nothing has happened - "I'm working on me, you work on you."

She packs a bag, throws things around, calls you a liar and a cheat. You keep calm, do what you need to do. Give her a few minutes to vent it - if she still carries on then eventually you could quietly and firmly say "I am being perfectly reasonable with you. If you continue with this attitude then we will end up having a conversation that you don't like." Then STFU and go clean your car or whatever

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

She fucking sent links?!!!

What the double fuck motherfucker?!

This is a major flag on the play. Set a fucking boundary. No going through your fucking phone. Read NMMNG for boundary advice.

Max drive for control of dread levels is needed here. She would be dead to me if my girl did that shit. Will not tolerate.

You should be sprinting into getting in shape. That is your only mission now. Jesus fuck man!

Also, password that shit. Now. Fuck her.

Do you have kids? If not, mentally prepare to start over with a respectful woman. She just treated you like dog shit. How will you respond?

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Do you have kids? If not, mentally prepare to start over with a respectful woman. She just treated you like dog shit. How will you respond?

I don't know if I agree that it's disrespectful, per se. She is in a panicky mode, because of his past fuckery. He was the transgressor, after all, not her. He just hasn't properly set things aright. Of course, he can't be a bitch, but, he should Houdini himself out, not try to pull a Bogart or Conan the Barbarian.

[–]Reject4440 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I don't know if I agree that it's disrespectful, per se. She is in a panicky mode, because of his past fuckery.

He fucked up, true, and needs to own that--this might help to partially justify her looking through his phone, but I don't see any explanation for her sending links to her family and OP's sister other than straight-up disrespect. This is a marriage issue and should stay within their marriage; whatever she thinks he's up to or however objectionable she finds the materials she saw, this should have been something she addressed with OP only. Firing off links to family members to recruit third parties against OP is total bullshit and is basically inexcusable IMO.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

but I don't see any explanation for her sending links to her family and OP's sister other than straight-up disrespect. This is a marriage issue and should stay within their marriage; whatever she thinks he's up to or however objectionable she finds the materials she saw, this should have been something she addressed with OP only. Firing off links to family members to recruit third parties against OP is total bullshit and is basically inexcusable IMO.

Well, as I said...this is Panic mode. Panic you do weird shit. Stuff that a normal brain wouldn't. Fuck! Her world just fell apart again, in her mind. Her marriage-once again at the mercy of his penis.

Further, maybe he was such a mega dildo the last time that everybody found out, and she's trying to insulate herself...that matters often to chicks. Plus, these are her homies...if HE were cucked, I bet that he'd let his boys know.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So what? Who cares?

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ignore it. She's being a goof. If she sent the links to her Mom and sis, it just shows that she's full of shit.

OTOH, she could be using it to start an affair of her own.

Ignore it, and be on the lookout for her trying to get a 'revenge fuck' or a divorce. Have an exit plan. Do NOT save the address.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

bringing back the “emotional affair”.

If you already "cheated" once then employing Dread Game is often not a good idea. Dread is to slowly make your woman realize that you are capable of cheating if she continues being a bitch. Why do you need Dread game if you have already shown that?

Sounds to me like this minor freak out was more than justified on her part.

some parts of the sidebar are not “nice”

Yes, own it.

How would you handle it if wife found that part of MRP/TRP as the only parts.

Get good at PUA, and use it over the top on her until she laughs with you.

Also Amused Mastery.

[–]dandar46000 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I was close to being kicked out of the house...an emotional affair...We saw a councillor...She discovered...Links were sent to her family and my sister.

Your wife doesn't trust or respect you. By sending those links, she is getting ready for life after you.

You shutting up is not giving her anything to work with. You are telling her to look at your actions, but your actions last year are an emotional affair and internet links on how to pick up women and how to keep them by making them jealous. You working on your body is nice for a while but it could mean that you want to be more successful at getting some strange. After all you failed to score last time.

Her finding out about NMMNG is not bad at all. The author even tells you to share it with your wife. Mine got an audiobook first chapter preview to find out what it's all about. At first she thought I wanted to become an asshole and after hearing the first chapter she was all right and even supportive.

I agree with others that her finding out about MRP is not a good thing. It's not the end of the world, but it's not a net positive for you. It is a locker room after all. Her finding out about NMMNG and MMSLP is all right though.

Both authors urge you to share it with your wife. Your wife is not certain about you, especially about your intentions. She is taking care of three kids, including an infant and now has to deal with the captain looking at some strange, over-disciplining the kids and reading PUA and misogynistic websites. Say what you want but Chateau Hartiste while having some good intentions in the past right now is downright hateful.

Give her something to work with. Definitely don't be a pussy and stand up for yourself but have some compassion as well. Re-read and maybe introduce her to NMMNG and if things are better you may want to let her read MMSLP. Those 2 books are all about improving a marriage and yours certainly can use all the help it can get.

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

First of all, thanks. Your comment puts her view into perspective in a way I wasn’t able to write.

“You shutting up is not giving her anything to work with. You are telling her to look at your actions, but your actions last year are an emotional affair and internet links on how to pick up women and how to keep them by making them jealous. You working on your body is nice for a while but it could mean that you want to be more successful at getting some strange. After all you failed to score last time.

Her finding out about NMMNG is not bad at all. The author even tells you to share it with your wife. Mine got an audiobook first chapter preview to find out what it's all about. At first she thought I wanted to become an asshole and after hearing the first chapter she was all right and even supportive.”

I did consider this and when she brought it up about the links I asked her to look into NMMNG and how the title is misleading to the subject.

“I agree with others that her finding out about MRP is not a good thing. It's not the end of the world, but it's not a net positive for you. It is a locker room after all. Her finding out about NMMNG and MMSLP is all right though.”

I’ll keep it in mind about sharing MMSLP with her too.

“Both authors urge you to share it with your wife. Your wife is not certain about you, especially about your intentions. She is taking care of three kids, including an infant and now has to deal with the captain looking at some strange, over-disciplining the kids and reading PUA and misogynistic websites. Say what you want but Chateau Hartiste while having some good intentions in the past right now is downright hateful.”

These are exactly her concerns. Hartiste now isn’t great and what I was referring to as ‘nice’ in my post.

“Give her something to work with. Definitely don't be a pussy and stand up for yourself but have some compassion as well. Re-read and maybe introduce her to NMMNG and if things are better you may want to let her read MMSLP. Those 2 books are all about improving a marriage and yours certainly can use all the help it can get.”

As above. Will consider. Thanks.

[–]SepeanRed Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Been there. Hold frame, it doesn’t matter.

I would recommend talking her through some of the stuff. A lot of the stuff here causes a lot of unnecessary lack of comfort when hamstered. She’ll never think it is a good idea - frame is what gets you through this, not DEERing - but there’s no reason she walks around thinking things are 10 times worse than they are.

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I was thinking this at the time and almost told her about the positives as she only saw negatives. I decided that STFU was better.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Adding to it. Don't word vomit the whole thing. Build a narrative. The reason she's spinning out of control is she has a narrative in her own head, it's not in your best interest, and everything she sees is framed around it (her narrative, you're a cheating faggot and she's been hurt blah blah)

And you'll know what to do, you know your life, but in a situation like yours, I'd probably go with something like:

Look at me, I'm a toothpick, you're an emotional mess. Regular people aren't like this. We are a good couple, we are better than this. I'm going to fix all the shit on my end, and I need you to keep it together. Whatever you think about me cheating on you, put that behind us, or leave, right now, today.

Women have a hard wired assumption that men are insincere... So this particular example will fall on deaf ears, obviously I'd work on it more if you were worth a damn (but then I wouldn't have to). but the key points:

  1. This relationship is fucked
  2. I am fucked
  3. I have work to do. Either get on board or get the fuck out.

And boot her ass if she offers resistance. If you're lucky, she may beat you to the punch anyways. By the time you aren't blown over by a strong wind, or an unkind word, you'll be in a position to reassess.

Until then, this shitstorm is outside your control. Think of it as the MRP version of 'clean your room'. If you cannot stick to lifting a weight 3x a week and eating well enough to do well at it, you probably can't stick to the rest of it either.

And finish the fucking books. There's a reason they are there

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Perhaps you could have done a little comfort mode: sat her on your lap, and showed her through your links, saying "Sure, some are shit, some are good. Look at this 16 Commandments of Poon. 'Be her rock'. Don't you like for me to be the man...YOUR man?" (while putting you hands down her panties).

[–]SepeanRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You were right, you can’t sell it one the positives. But some of the “negatives” they perceive as way worse than they are, and some negatives they just imagine. Like “dread”, it sounds horrible when really it is mostly just being attractive, outgoing and at the higher stages social proof.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

SMH.

Were your testicles surgically removed or did they just atrophy? You have no boundaries. You have no self-respect.

Tell the bitch to stop snooping in your goddamn phone, and if she won't then get a divorce. Jesus, learn to give fewer fucks about your stupid marriage.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Wait, she violates your privacy, confronts you, and sends links about MRP and TRP to her and your family?

I bet she powertalked you in that conversation as well.

Does this seem like the actions of a woman you should stay with? Serious question. Because her doxxing you has had her attempt to permanently damage their relationships with you. When women turn nasty, that's it.

You need to give less fucks and be attractive, don't be unattractive. Which includes STFUing.

[–]DEERinRPHeadlights[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

“I bet she powertalked you in that conversation as well”

This is a new term to me but I’m guessing yes. I’ll read about it and answer later.

This discovery and another nice guy fuck up is putting her on the verge of killing the puppy so she could be trying to sabotage things or make me react and give her a reason to do it.

[–]Fritz_Frauenraub0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

OP, a good low-hanging fruit boundary for you would be password protecting your phone. I use the iris-scanner. When your wife shits and starts ranting about "what are you hiding" it will be like shooting fish in a barrel, AM/AAwise.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy

Links were sent to her family and my sister.

everything was fine until there. divorce her now.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can't agree. He was a malefactor in his previous behavior, something similar comes up, she's panicking. When people panic, they do crazy things. ANYTHING, even psychotic things seem plausible when one panics. Her only resources, thinking of a cheating husband, may be her mom and sis. It isn't good, but, not necessarily a big "Fuck You" to her husband.

[–]bowhunter60 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Gotta agree with this. Digging in your phone is definitely not cool, but sending links out like that are the actions of an enemy. Stick a fork in this one, it's done, my friend.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Gotta agree with this. Digging in your phone is definitely not cool, but sending links out like that are the actions of an enemy. Stick a fork in this one, it's done, my friend.

She wasn't necessarily digging in his phone, so much as running across his sites.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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