714,030 posts

Tried to have sex. Failed hard

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June 21, 2018
11 upvotes

God fucking damn it. Couldn't think of any other flair.

Not sure what happened. Had been wanting to have sex. We started I went straight for trying to fuck after we laid the baby down.

Not sure if I got over anxious since it's been almost 3 months or if I was thinking too much about the baby waking up. Not sure if it was because she kept saying it hurt and just wouldn't relax. Or probably the consensus I'm a beta bitch and should give one of ya'll my wife's information (that's usually the response it seems but not what I'm looking for because I'm legitimately trying to get my shit together.)

Guess I should have done foreplay instead of just going for pound the pussy approach but wasn't trying to play pussy hero 4 because that's what it always is. Pussy hero 4 then I flop around on a fucking starfish.

The baby got fussy and we had already stopped because I told her we can stop. Just wasn't into it because it was duty sex. No desire. Nothing. I DEERed like a weak mother fucker. She fed the baby. I got dressed and went to do laundry. When I did speak to her she said, "that was weird." I DEERed and said, "yeah that was all me. Got inside my head I think. Was feeling rushed." She said, "I felt rushed. That was a bad experience." I told her, "we can try later or another time." (Wrong response.) She said, "we will see." I said, "That's ok. I'm going to go finish Laundry." I exited.

Posting this doing laundry. Expecting shit tests to follow due to my broken frame.

I'm 3 weeks into this so of course my SMV sucks. Just started lifting. So that's low. Everything about me reeks of beta bullshit.

Question is what's the best approach now?

Stfu, pass shit tests, and lift? Try again later.

May be jumping the gun posting this. I'll post my stats in a little bit once I clear my head.


Post Information
Title Tried to have sex. Failed hard
Author ParaXilo
Upvotes 11
Comments 102
Date 21 June 2018 12:26 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204313
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8snfj4/tried_to_have_sex_failed_hard/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
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Comments

[–]resolutions31630 points31 points  (19 children) | Copy

Just stop.

Take a breath.

You’re so far up your own ass and pitying yourself that you can’t see the forest for the trees.

Your wife isn’t the problem. Your self pity, and lack of confidence, is.

Start slow.

I see a lot of people mocking the “lift” advice in here. Those people are fucking morons.

The reason “lift” is the advice is NOT because you need to be a hulking man beast to get laid.

The reason “lift” is the advice is that it builds MOMENTUM.

Making a plan. Executing the plan. Tracking your progress. Overcoming pain and adversity. Proving to yourself that you can do it. And finally, seeing the results.

It’s a process 100% outside of your marriage, outside of fucking, outside of what your wife thinks of you.

It’s is FOR YOU. Accomplished BY YOU.

The only way so many of us can start to build a sense of self.

You’re hurt, desperate, lonely, needy, codependent. I know because I was, too.

All you need to do now is take the L, and refocus on yourself.

Work on yourself. On owning your shit. On improving your health. On understanding who you really ARE.

Everything in between now and then is just noise.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge9 points10 points  (17 children) | Copy

“NOT because you need to be a hulking man beast to get laid.”

Amen.

Chads who live in that paradigm are miserable and feelz that they can never win. Always someone else out there bigger and stronger.

Lift to build momentum, maintain discipline, and stay in shape -don’t be a Fat fuck.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 1 point2 points  (16 children) | Copy

don’t be a Fat fuck.

Basically.

[–]BobbyPeru0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy

Where are you getting 26% BF?

5’5” , 170? I doubt it. What are your lifts?

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Why do you doubt it? Thinking more? Less? I have a buddy that says he thinks it's less. I got it from the Fitbit scale. Need to get calipers and measure that way.

Haven't tested my 1RM yet. Guess I can give it a shot tomorrow.

[–]BobbyPeru1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

What’s your current workout for BP, OHP, squat, DL, row, curls... etc

(Not 1 rep). Just whatever you are currently doing (weight and number of reps). That will give us an idea of your BF

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Doing Greyskull Phraks variation

Bench 2x5, 1x30 - 80lbs

Barbell row 2x5, 1x15 80lbs

Deadlift 1x20 105lbs

OHP 2x5, 1x16 65lbs

Squat 2x5, 1x22 95lbs

I only started lifting last week and following this program last week. Weight feels way too light and considering increasing it more.

[–]creating_my_life1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Do not EVER missing a fucking workout for the next YEAR.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Wasn't planning on it. This is a linear progression program that you add weight to each workout in increments of 5lbs-10lbs.

I'm gonna add more tomorrow. They've been too easy and only the AMRAP at the end gives me issues.

[–]wildnight98MRP APPROVED4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

You need to work through the light weights. Don’t skip. There are supporting muscles that are weak and need the time. And you need to learn good form on the lighter weights. Don’t feel like you have to throw heavy weights around to impress anybody. Follow the program.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

According to the personal training coach app these are my projected 1RM based on the 5 workouts I've done. Might test them out tomorrow just to see.

Barbell row 120lbs Bench 160lbs Deadlift 175lbs OHP 100lbs Squat 165lbs

[–]BobbyPeru0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Talk to your trainer and make sure he’s spotting if you are going to do that. I don’t recommend trying max 1RM’s after 5 workouts. It’s a good way to get injured before you barely got started. But based on those numbers, I’m thinking you’re higher than 26% BF.

Here’s some BF pics

[–]bourbonhipster0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Whenever dealing with internet strangers beginning a program I just account for their original estimate +5-15% depending on additional info. People don't have the tools to estimate this accurately, and who wants to admit they are an extra 5-15% pure fatter than they thought they were?

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I mean navy method and fitbit scale measured 26 and 27%. Regardless I want to be 15% or less.

[–]ParaXilo[S] -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'm not sure the how relevant that is when it doesn't matter if it's 25 or 30%. I have work to do either way.

[–]BobbyPeru1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

It matters a lot. You’ll want to set goals based on your real body composition. I’m guessing you’re closer to 35%. Google the navy method for calculating BF. It’s usuall pretty accurate unless you are really thin boned or the opposite, thick boned.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol 27%

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Regardless, I have my goals and know where I want to be.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everything you said made sense and hit him. I got this.

[–]weakandsensitive3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

5'5" 170? Fuck.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I know. I know.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret10 points11 points  (9 children) | Copy

Fuck, do I feel sorry for you autistic fucking retards that come bumbling in here for the first time like freshmen in a high school locker room before football practice.

Someone shoves a playbook (sidebar) into your chest and screams, “READ IT!!” And so you dutifully look at a few pages before running out onto the field (of your life), and you get fucking slammed into the ground. Hurts like a bitch, don’t it?

You’ve been here 3 weeks. 28 years old, in a 9 year relationship with a new baby.

For the record, I would trade places with you in a heartbeat. After a year I’d have her asking me which hole I wanted to fuck tonight. Your shit is FIXABLE.

Quit fucking around and GET WITH THE PROGRAM. The metric says 9 months. Plan on a year, to start. Then plan on the rest of your life. Because if you’re not committed to making these changes and continuous improvement for the rest of your life, then quit right now. Give up. And go away.

You’re still here?

“Question is what’s the best approach now?”

Aren’t you EMS?

Isn’t STABILIZING the patient pretty early on in the process?

Start over. Stabilize. You skipped some shit due to ignorance. You got a couple classes out of order. You’re trying to insert an IV before you read about vascularity and how to find/pick the right vein. (Run with it. I’m a fucking truck driver.)

Start here.

https://illimitablemen.com/understanding-the-red-pill/red-pill-constitution/

Now go to the mrp sidebar; Guide for Beginners. Read all FOUR scenarios. Which drunk Captain are you?

Next, go to the Wiki. Scroll down to ‘Misc’ and read “The 12 Levels of Dread.” This is your outline and pacing metric for the first year of MRP. It is what and when to do.

This should help you avoid any more moronic autistic retarded fucking moments.

And for fucks sake, give yourself some time.

Would you want to be worked on by some jackass who thought he learned all he needed to know in 3 weeks of EMT school before getting in the truck?

Now, if you have a question, about something you’ve actually read or something you’ve (mis)applied, askMRP.

Otherwise; Be attractive, don’t be unattractive.

Lift

Read

STFU

Seriously.

Stop posting and..

GET TO FUCKING WORK.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good analogy with the IV.

10-4 You came across loud and clear.

[–]RedPillCoach4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Love the analogy. Good work. The Freshmen always get hazed by the older guys as well. They often leave the locker room in a huff but the guys who stay are the guys we can work with and who post around 4-5 months in about how MRP and RP actually works.

Stick around. It is just about to get good and this was just a minor setback.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Former EMT here: the first thing we always do is check the ABCs. Airway, Breathing, and Circulation. Sounds like OP has none of those, so it’s time to start chest compressions on his marriage. Best case scenario is that it’s brain dead and will be on life support indefinitely.

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The old marriage is dead.

The point of MRP is to create a new marriage that is much, much better than the dead old one.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Calling it too soon.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Then get your shit in order, son.

[–]PuppetAndTheDwarf0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I disagree, he can turn it around. Nothing is permanent with women, it’s all feels.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I agree except if she has cucked him.

She’s already a disloyal bitch, but if she’s been unfaithful, he needs to terminate the marriage with extreme prejudice.

[–]PuppetAndTheDwarf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Either way he comes out better on the other side. He can definitely turn himself around. Turning your marriage around might end up meaning moving on from it.

[–]johneyapocalypse7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy

Question is what's the best approach now?

A glass of bourbon, neat.

[–]TheVitaminD2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I get not wanting to play pussy hero, but it's pretty fucking clear that she doesn't enjoy sex with you and you're not doing anything to change that.

If she doesn't enjoy fucking, she's not going to choose to fuck. God knows you gave away your say in the matter.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You went "sexual Rambo" and it didn't work out; are you surprised? Is anybody surprised?

This is a long-term, gradual process of becoming a better man. Don't go Rambo, sexually or otherwise.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't go rambo period. Got it.

[–]MindfulStoic1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Kind of hard to believe you’ve read all that you’ve claimed based on that description of events and behavior. If you did read it you obviously did not internalize any of it. Stop posting.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah something doesn’t add up. Might be a lost cause or simply a retard.

A bro-chat might fix it.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Tomorrow is another day.

Wipe the slate clean. Start again.

The only real failure was not having tried. Despite your setbacks you did what 90% of the men in your position dont bother doing.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Tomorrow is another day.

Wipe the slate clean. Start again.

I agree. Gonna need to internalize that.

Despite your setbacks you did what 90% of the men in your position dont bother doing.

What's that.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You executed.

Badly but you acted. Most men freeze whimper wonder what do?

Next time suck less. Do better

[–]SepeanRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You just started college and you’re going to a job interview. There’s just no fucking way to ace that when the education isn’t done. Stop focusing so much on what to say in the interview and instead build the skills and qualities needed for the position.

Keep studying, keep improving, you’ll be able to land an internship a few months. In 6 months or a year, you can get a real job.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That's a good way to look at. I'll keep that mindset.

[–]SepeanRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is just like everything else you've ever been good at. Your job, a sport, a game, doing handstands. It's fucking hard in the beginning, you're conscious about everything you're doing, you're slow and clumsy. But with practice and experience, one day it's in your muscle memory and it is fucking easy.

[–]RelativeJellyfish1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Start reading the Book of Pook. It's good that you know to STFU, lift, pass shit tests (clearly not ready). But you are missing a big piece and that is Frame. Frame can be all too encompassing, but more than anything else it is the jackpot. STFU, lifting, passing shit tests are all tools for improving your Frame (in a fake it till you make it sense).

But back to the Book of Pook. The book is a huge reminder that you must be FUN. Fun is the way into any girls panties. Getting butthurt and losing Frame means you are not FUN.

Life (and getting sex) is very hard after having a baby. But this is a long game. Your wife is probably exhausted and you are probably driving her crazy with orbiting until the baby goes down. You need to back off. Give her mind a break from the exhaustiveness of baby care, your only interactions with her should be FUN... whether that is teasing, joking, a tiny bit of kino.

You have a long way to go, so start slow and get busy with doing other things when you cannot have a positive interaction with your wife. I know it is tough, it is very tough to be Fun when you are sad, disappointed, mad, but you have to try to correct your attitude.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Going back through MMSL then I'll go through Book of Pook. I had started it but didn't finish it.

Thanks.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

“Or probably the consensus I'm a beta bitch“

You forgot “faggot” too.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yup that too. Working on that. All of that. 28 years of faggotry and weak minded bullshit is going to take time to break. Add the 9 year relationship and 5 years of marriage that's at least 15-27 months of applying all of this and rewiring myself from being a bitch.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Step the fuck down soldier. I got you beat mother fucker.

Prior mrp: 36 year old faggot, 10 years of deadbedroom marriage.

You can change to become a physical speciman like myself in about 2 years. Your whole life will change. You’ll be getting so much pussy you won’t think it’s real. This rabbit hole runs deep. Just scratching the surface. You’re not special.

Until then. Get to work faggot.

For fucks sake, somewhere deep inside you is a more assertive and confident person. Start acting like it. Right now, you’re a babbling sit-com dad.

You are the Prize.

Read ===>

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yup. I know I have a lot of work to do.

For fucks sake, somewhere deep inside you is a more assertive person. Start acting like it.

You're absolutely right.

[–]creating_my_life0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

"that was weird."

"Yeah, it was. I'm going to run to the store for a rubber ducky, two avocados, and some perler beads. I have an idea. be right back."

You lack confidence. She wants a man who's confident in her life. A man who owns his shit. Who's running the damn house as a new baby fucks everything up. An oak.

Question is what's the best approach now?

Read everything on the sidebar twice. Read the top rated posts. Develop an action plan. Act. This will take years.

Stfu, pass shit tests, and lift? Try again later.

Shit tests? That's when she's qualifying you to fuck. You're lucky she threw you a pity fuck tonight. At least she's trying. You should have played pussy hero 4 like you loved it. Nothing wrong with that where you are right now.

There's a new baby in the house. Her life is fucked up. Are you owning your shit and being the Oak, or are you another baby for her to take care of?

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Shit tests? That's when she's qualifying you to fuck. You're lucky she threw you a pity fuck tonight. At least she's trying. You should have played pussy hero 4 like you loved it. Nothing wrong with that where you are right now.

Gonna get back after pussy hero 4 and take what I can.

There's a new baby in the house. Her life is fucked up. Are you owning your shit and being the Oak, or are you another baby for her to take care of?

Oak. Getting shit done on house work. Cleaning up. Just checking off things I used to say I would do and didn't.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

There's a fine line for noobs when it comes to owning your shit vs doing choreplay and expecting something (sex, appreciation, cookies, trophies) in return. You do things because you want them done and you're not waiting on someone else to do them. Women talk, men do!

I have young twins. The first several months were hard (sexually and otherwise) . Don't go Rambo and expect porn star sex - your wife is focused 100% on the baby...assuming her potential as a mother is one reason you married her? Use this time to improve yourself, make real & permanent changes. Lead your family.

Bottom line, you tried to fuck her when she was worn out, the baby interrupted, that doesn't work. Arrange a sitter, send her out of the house for several hours, let her sleep in some days (without making a big deal out of it)... do something to relax her FFS.... Women don't want to fuck when they're stressed, anxious, worried...a new baby drains them physically, mentally & emotionally...she probably wouldn't have fucked Brad Pitt under the circumstances you described (late night, expecting an early morning, stressed, etc).

Just focus on unfucking yourself and make your house run smoothly, the rest will take care of itself.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well said.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret0 points1 point  (16 children) | Copy

So wait. She was ok with trying but it hurt so you did what exactly ?

[–]quentinthequibbler0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

If it hurt well FFS you were doing it wrong. Get some skills. They don’t come from porno.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Did you mean to reply to me ?

[–]quentinthequibbler0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No. Shoot.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

You’re watching the wrong pornos....

[–]quentinthequibbler1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Faggot. They’re not instructional videos.

[–]ParaXilo[S] -1 points0 points  (10 children) | Copy

We kept trying. I got limp dick. Turned off by it all.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy

Next time plan something. Not romantic. Kino her throughout the day. Tease her.

Be her exciting boyfriend. Slowly and not all at once.

Also foreplay. Arousal is psychological. Enjoy her body. Play with her. Tease her.

Sounds like she was down to try.

Get that pussy wet and enter slowly. Tease her with your Eyes. With your hands. With your dick.

Get her to beg you to Fuck her. Then proceed. Remind her body and mind that sex with you is rewarding

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

So the basic shit and don't go full autistic. Appreciate the response.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Yes it’s basic to me now. Make it basic for you.

She wasn’t denying you. You just got to be a better boyfriend.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Yup. You're right.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Become the person who she would cheat on you with...

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Well that made it click. Muscles aren't sore enough gonna need to add some extra exercises.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

extra exercises weight.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Been just following greyskull phrak variation and following the weights. Not even sure of my 1RM. Very low I'm sure. I'll start bumping 10lbs instead of 5.

[–]classicthrowaway860 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You're a weak piece of shit. You just made things worse.

Slow down. Forget about sex for now, because she isn't attracted to you. With you jumping at the offer of a bite of cookie you're rushing it and therefore flustered and your mind is elsewhere. If you've been watching porn in the last 3 months that wouldn't have helped either, quit that shit.

Your best approach is yes, STFU, pass shit tests, lift. I wouldn't even bother trying again later. Stop being dependant on her for sex. Work on yourself. While you're getting your body in shape you can get your mind in shape with sidebar and good audiobooks while at the gym. This is going to take a while to fix, but atleast you're on the right track with concepts like DEERing, getting our of her frame and fixing your body.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Luckily I stopped porn and compulsive/chronic masturbation a little over 4 months ago because I didn't want to be that kind of man/Father for my son.

Gonna rewind, reread, continue to lift. Continue to build me.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Why did you give Permission to stop fucking you? Isn't that her job?

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Umph. Can't even answer that.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's funny how much bulls hit we do without thinking

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

duty sex. No desire. Nothing. I DEERed like a weak mother fucker

That's not DEER-ing!

That's ok. I'm going to go finish Laundry

That is DEER-ing!

what's the best approach now

Get out of your head and stop worrying. By definition, 50% of sex is in the bottom half of your experiences. If you try something new it is a much greater chance that it will be in the bottom half. Same answer if you haven't done anything for 3 months.

pussy hero

You don't have to go for the high score but a bit of lubing up behaviors before you go for the deep pussy pounding is not a bad idea. Try a little bit of that next time.

Expecting shit tests to follow

No doubt they are locked and loaded and ready to come for you. What are you going to do about it? Are you going to handle them like a boss- or a bitch? If you can laugh about your shitty sex and play it off as no big deal then guess what? It is not big deal. This is a way you can draw your wife into your frame or you can be butthurt and screw it up. I hope you remain OI, smile, and tell your wife something along the lines of 'we will get it right, we just need more practice.'

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like you lacked dominance in the sack. Caveman the starfish and show that pussy who's in charge and she will want more.

[–]peaceful_strong_man-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Inb4 “just lift more, bro. How much is your bench? Increase it a little and that’ll definitely solve the problem of you being a beta cuck.”

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Basically. Also have you read the sidebar. Yes I'm reading and still reading.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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