708,359 posts

There's a trainwreck at the circus and I'm standing near the tracks...

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June 11, 2018
9 upvotes

So. Some shit has come full circle for me and I need some advice on tactics.

Cut the shit summary: 43yo,6 months into MAP. 6'2/205/15%bf. shirtless pic. Primary lifts are pretty weak, secondarys OK. 5rep maxes: BP205, DL275 (my form sucks), curls 100, tri's 100, rows 180. I don't squat, knees cant take it. Read MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG, Pook, Sex God, rational male. Career is great, hobbies great. Got first place in an MTB enduro race 3 weeks ago and moved up to expert class. Several chicks I could definitely hook up with given a few days groundwork. Ferry girl is still around and interested, but not as long as I'm still married. 3-4 other women in our circle are ripe for the plucking, but would all need some closure to my own marriage to pursue. I'll be in Asia next week and there will almost certainly be some friendly locals and expats around. TLDR: I have options, but they all need developing to become reality.

So here's the trainwreck: A few months ago I wrote two separate posts. One on how my wifes BFF is getting a divorce, and another on how her chiropractor/massage therapist is a beast man who is probably fucking half his clients.

I come to learn today, that it was actually the BFF who fucked the chiropractor, while still married to her ex "Bill" who is also a friend of mine. To complicate the story, Bill was not a weak beta bux by any stretch of the imagination, though he was definitely a drunk captain. He was actually a bit of a badass: ultra marathoner, motorcycle racer, surfer, endurance athlete, in really good shape, with lots of natural alpha tendencies. He also had some moderate to serious drug abuse problems. Weed, molly, xanex, booze, he liked to get high. IMO, he failed her comfort tests, and badly. They had 3 kids and he just wasn't a present father or partner.

So their 12 year marriage hit the rocks a few months ago and its mostly over now, but its gone very acrimoniously. Naturally, my wife, as the BFF, has heard every tearful conversation, and relayed most of them to me. Until about an hour ago, I believed, naively, that BFF hadn't actually cheated on Bill, and had innocently gotten out of a toxic marriage to a drug abuser. But true to form, female solipsism couldn't keep its mouth shut, and my wife ended up revealing that BFF fucked the chiropractor, and that was the source of all the toxicity surrounding their divorce. Thanks to the gods that I met you guys 6 months ago, and didn't fall into an argument about it. I said simply: "Infidelity has a lot of collateral damage." and left it for further consideration.

So that's the backstory, here's my dilemma: I now have zero respect for the BFF, but my wife will still be hanging around her as much as always. BFF is a fitness instructor, with a zillion instragram followers, a flock of fitness groupies (wife included) and is definitely a big influence on my wife. That influence is positive in terms of fitness, but the cheating and the divorce is certainly not. We are having a graduation party for my older son this week, and BFF will almost certainly attend. At the moment, I want to tell the wife that her sleazy whore friend is not welcome in my house, but I'm sure that will A: cause a big unpleasant argument that I don't care to engage in, and B: reveal that I do in fact GAF, and that I haven't internalized AWALT, and I'm letting the machinations of a silly thot get in my head.

I think I understand the strategy here: float above their petty bullshit, be the oak, with my own goals and my own frame. What I'm not sure of is the tactics: better to set a boundary (BFF is not welcome here), or just ignore the incident? How best to address the BFF? I'm currently thinking AM her like a child, knowing that AWALT and I may as well be mad at the sky for being blue. Fuck but sometimes this pill has a bitter taste.

All thoughts welcome.


Post Information
Title There's a trainwreck at the circus and I'm standing near the tracks...
Author Senor_Martillo
Upvotes 9
Comments 36
Date 11 June 2018 05:29 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204363
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8q71sy/theres_a_trainwreck_at_the_circus_and_im_standing/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
MAPWISNIFGalpha fux beta buxalphabetaAWALTframecheatingcomfort testsolipsismNMMNG
Comments

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why is BFF not welcome? What is this your grand stand against hypergamy? Fuck man see the trees in the forest. Everyone has their own story. Hers follows hypergamy because woman. His? It sounds like he has a cool fucking life (with a drug thing, no judgement) and doesn't need her.

I'm currently thinking AM her like a child, knowing that AWALT and I may as well be mad at the sky for being blue.

You're a fucking genius and don't even know it.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret11 points12 points  (8 children) | Copy

Just so I'm clear, you have an attractive woman who is known to fuck dudes on the side and you are insisting that she doesn't spend time near you?

I think you are on the wrong side of the dread equation my friend. You are more worried about this chick's influence on your wife to cheat than her reminding your wife that it isn't hard for you to get strange if she can't keep up.

[–]EveryGodDamnDay8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Right. Wife mentions bff is coming? Tell her that's great, you heard she's a lot of fun.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

So you are saying that this BFF could provide a potential source of dread for him? If BFF is a known cheater and eyeballing him, then that's an angle he could work to his advantage.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. She is known to be DTF, his wife knows he knows this. What better dread than him getting friendly with her, and it sounds like she is hotter to boot.

Hell, why just pretend, he should actually try to fuck her while he's at it...

Also, whenever his wife might bring BFF's affairs up instead of discussing her moral compass he should focus on the guy. "No wonder he got divorced, he's got hot women available to fuck coming through his doors daily." i.e. you better keep me happy or I'll keep me happy.

[–]Senor_Martillo2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Excellent point.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. You need your wife to see you being reaaaallllly friendly with yonder thot.

[–]An_Actual_Politician3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Seems like dread game is your friend here. Your wife, like all women, loves hearing about their friends branch swinging because they see it as a proving ground for their own potential exploits down the road.

You want to make sure your wife's first reaction to hearing about a friend of hers cheating is to know that a betrayed husband will immediately upgrade on that post-wall ass, and upgrade with lots of women.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Randomly my wife had mentioned some celebrity divorcing his wife and dating a younger model. I think she expected me to follow the female moral compass and admonish the guy. Instead I said one word "UPGRADE!!!" then walked out of the room, high-fiving the door frame as I left. She got so pissed, cried a little. She came back later and tried to convince me why it was wrong to say younger is an upgrade. I was like, "So, you're saying the $100 Billion beauty industry is based on making women look older?". That was about the end of that.

LOLZ

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude that’s fukcing genius!

[–]simbarlionRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you have a stance if Bill is your friend, but At this early stage you oak it either way.

Your buying into the bullshit otherwise.

[–]weakandsensitive4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Guys like you throw labels on people as assume they're attractive. Wrong!

Just because attractive guys are x, y, z, it does not necessarily follow that x, y, z guys are attractive.

Weak men will always show themselves to be weak (source: see this post).

Weed, molly, xanex, booze, he liked to get high.

Our definitions of badass clearly do not align.

'sperg lords unite!

[–]kendallb1831 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your post didnt link

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

This brings up a very important point, because birds of a feather flock together.

If your wife's best friend was fucking their chiropractor and your wife didn't have a problem with it, you may well have a wife who is fucking the chiropractor and doesn't have a problem with it.

And tell your friend to sue that chiropractor for every penny he has.

[–]Senor_Martillo2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This goes to the very heart of why I asked, and you identified the problem exactly. On reflection, though, this is exactly why we identify solipsism and hypergamy, and use terms like awalt and “it’s just your turn”. If she’s gonna cheat she’s gonna cheat, and all I can do is have my own plan. You guys never disappoint.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hmm, see the scorpion and the frog, or alternatively I suggest reading Rollo's War Brides.

We don't fault a woman for being solipsistic, because AWALT.

Maybe your friend the triathlete was an Omega. Maybe she's an Alpha widow. Who knows?

Watch your wife's reaction to BFF. Women abhor waves created in the social matrix. A quality woman may overtly support the BFF but quietly distance herself from said BFF. She may feel threatened by BFF or disgusted by her. My wife had a friend that was in a compromising situation with a married man, and my wife quietly distanced herself from her. Ask her why and she'd say, "I don't know, we just don't talk more"

Or take some of the known slutty wives or single moms. They will shit talk horribly behind these women's back; it's all part of process of maintaining social status outwardly but quietly sabotaging potential rivals.

tl;Dr Watch how your wife reacts to the divorce, not the slutty friend.

[–]Senor_Martillo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Excellent advice.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

and B: reveal that I do in fact GAF, and that I haven't internalized AWALT, and I'm letting the machinations of a silly thot get in my head.

what more do you need to hear you dumb fuck

[–]PersaeusRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

she is not yours; it just your turn

there are many levels to this; and your missing many of them.

focus on that

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

that it was actually the BFF who fucked the chiropractor, while still married to her ex "Bill"

And this surprises you?

Bill was not a weak beta bux by any stretch of the imagination

He was just weak. There is a lesson here.

I'm currently thinking AM her like a child, knowing that AWALT and I may as well be mad at the sky for being blue. Fuck but sometimes this pill has a bitter taste.

"Goddammit, Gump! You're a goddamned genius! Thats the most outstanding answer I have ever heard. You must have a goddamn I.Q. of 160. You are goddamned gifted, Private Gump."

As u/simbalion says, don't buy into the bullshit.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think maybe you were looking for this one:

You had best unfuck yourself or I will rip off your head and shit down your neck!

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

hell i like you, you can come to my house and fuck my sister.

[–]bsutansaltRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nothing gets rid of a problem friend like the BFF by making it known you think she's sexy/attractive. Dread and the potential for competition will see her gone in no time.

Something to the effect of:

I don't think you friend is a nice person. She may be really, REALLY attractive and everyone wants to hook up with her, but the attention has clearly gone to her head. On second thought, why don't you bring her around more often. :smirk*

[–]CaptJohnLukeDiscard0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Most ultra marathoners are in shit shape. Sure they can run for days but are usually incredibly weak in terms of upper body strength. Women don't want a man that can run away from the bad guys. They want a man that can beat the shit out of them. That's why the broad shoulders - narrow waist thing works.

Your buddy sounds like an assclown who isn't alpha at all and you sound like you still don't have a clue.

[–]Senor_Martillo0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

He’s actually pretty ripped. But he’s also a fuckup. The drugs and failure to engage with his kids were a slow motion train wreck that was painful to watch. Odd mix of traits that certainly don’t add up to Alpha.

Confirmed I only have a little bit of a clue.

[–]DanceMonkeeDanceRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

But you're asking the right questions. Can Bill pick the chiropractor up by the neck and pin him on the wall? My guess is not.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Here is your reading review assignment for this week.

[–]Senor_Martillo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Highly relevant post and a good quick read, thanks. It always amazes me how far back some of this wisdom goes: they reference the principle of least interest being hypothesized back in the 1930’s.

That Wikipedia entry should be sidebar reading. It sounds like that principle is the very basis of OI.

[–]bob13bob0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

read your previous posts, your wife is also being treated by this chiropractor. if she doesn't change chiros, then you should start going to massage parlors

[–]juliusstreicher0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Make bff welcome. If your wife walks, bff can be your backup.

[–]bourbonhipster-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

I read your entire post. What I'm most worried about here is how you avoid squats because your knees hurt? If your knees hurt while squatting you are quite likely to be doing them very wrong. It doesn't take much to do them wrong g. It takes a lot of character to do them right. So stop DEERing your routine,, find a trainer or a bro who has amazing form who can tutor you. Same deal applies to deadlifts. No excuses.

[–]Senor_Martillo2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agree on the deadlifts.

Squats: my left leg is a wreckage of sports injuries. I have a steel plate and 7 screws holding my tib/fib together at the ankle, and I had a hamstring graft done to replace my ACL, and during the same surgery cut out a third of the meniscus. I get over 100 days a year on the mountain bike so I get plenty of leg exercise, and the meniscus is a wear item. Once I use this one up I’m gonna have to get a full knee replacement and I’m doing everything I can to delay that day. No squats.

[–]hack3ge0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You beat me to this - I was gonna say you should be more worried about your inability to squat than the chiropractor. Maybe he should see the chiropractor himself and he can help with his squats and give him some tips for slamming some strange.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

my thought exactly. the chiropractor sounds pretty cool. OP should be learning some things from him.



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