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Vacation with father in law - how to maintain frame?

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June 9, 2018

37, married 17, together 21

About to spend a few days with my wife's family and most of them can't stand her father, especially my wife. After swallowing the pill, I see now that he's a bit of a Chad with alpha tendencies, and an asshole. Wife hates him because he left when she was 5 and is a serial philanderer.

In the past, I've mostly ignored him and been friendly. I don't really have any respect for him either, but he definitely sucks you into his frame. Actually, he's got pretty good game too.

Any tips on maintaining my frame around him during the vacation?

Post Information
Title Vacation with father in law - how to maintain frame?
Author magnoliagent123
Upvotes 7
Comments 23
Date 09 June 2018 03:17 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:

[–]InChargeManRed Beret10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy

Part of having frame is that other people don't rattle your cage. Don't let your cage get rattled, chill the fuck out, and remember that anything which isn't within your frame is humorous to you.

I've learned this first hand. My mother in law is a total bitch. It used to stress me out, now I DNGAF. I don't care if she is unhappy, I don't care if she is happy, I don't care if she is making a scene, it is all the same. We tried to have a nice dinner out at a restaurant, she started a fight right away, started making a scene. She was used to this mode of operation, just make a scene and others will try to comply to keep the peace. I DNGAF, AA, made jokes. Her: "This ridiculous, I'm leaving." Me: "For real, why the hell do we have to pay extra to get fries with a friggin' burger. Such bullshit. We should leave."

She stormed out, expecting us to follow. We stayed right there, ordered our food while she sat in the parking lot. Then we ordered dessert. She fixed her attitude after that.

Another time it was pretty awesome when she was visiting our house and I told her to knock it off or GTFO.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy


Should not even raise your eyebrows.

Yes. Women love to hate in alphas. Especially the daughters. I hope you seriously remember that.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why do daughters hate alphas?

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

you know why

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy

You need to be asking how to not get sucked into the womens' frame of hating him for being alpha.

Set your ego aside, admit that he has some alpha tendencies that you can learn from him, do so, discard the rest.

[–]magnoliagent123[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Agreed, this is the first time I will have been around him since admitting that. The really problem is dealing with my wife's reaction to him. Thanks

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

No need to deal with her at all. Her feelings are her problem.

[–]gvntr0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Insightful comment.

I've got a similar situation. FIL is a super-high status elderly Japanese politician, the women in the household are contemptuous and disrespectful behind his back.

And they do try to suck me into their frame. But lately I have been watching him, how he deals with them.

I think the chink in his armor is that he tends to get drunk at family gatherings and really loses his dignified frame, starts trolling the womenfolk with his hard core right wing views, and the situation degenerates from there. He flies off the handle, the womenfolk cry.

The drinking aside, I started viewing him as an ally. Sometimes I go out at 5 am for morning power walks with him. Can't understand half of what he says, I just smile and not my head and keep walking.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women really love to hate the alpha types they love to fuck.

You can learn much here if you open your eyes to reality. Sounds kind of like the Red Pill metaphor, no?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why don't you learn something from him instead of being in your sucky BP frame of being part of the Hate Herd?

[–]BobbyPeru1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’ll tell you a funny thing about my father-in-law. I used to think he was Alpha too . After doing intensive RP work and practicing for two years, I realized he’s a big fat fucking pussy

Get to work on the sidebar

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do this: Don't fucking go. Tell your wife you're not fucking going to go. Or, swing by for an hour or two.

"Oh, he treated you like shit, left you when you were a child, is an asshole, OH, and YOU can't stand him???? I have a great idea! Let's go visit him for a few days!" ::rolleyes::

It ain't frame when you're dancing and your partner is the organ grinder.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah, have a beer and tell each other stories.

Honestly, just from what you said, I kind of like the guy

Their grievances are there's, I don't see value in helping them wallow in a 20 year grudge

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


Be neutral. Don't buy into your wifes position with him. Have your own, based solely on you 1 on 1 interaction.

[–]470_2_700_nm2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go out and fuck a bunch of broads with your father in law. Or at least get to the point where that is actually within the realm of possibility.

Right now it isn’t.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Any tips on maintaining my frame around him during the vacation?

challenge him to an arm wrestle. unless you're a pussy

[–]magnoliagent123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Possibly the best advice yet!

[–]magnoliagent123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Edit: Nevermind, he's just an insecure asshole. All good. Thanks for all the redirection.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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