As you might know I am deployed and my wife and I schedule Skype so I can mainly connect with my kid once a week. This is something that I have been adamant about many times when it was skipped over in the past.
We usually do it Sunday afternoons when I am available and before/after the kid goes down for a nap.
Yesterday I reached out and she said the kid was down. I told her that before she gets the kid up to call me up as I wanted us to talk so I could have my wife's undivided attention. She didn't respond to it but I assumed she was running doing chores while the kid is down.
A couple hours pass and it gets a little late, so I let my wife know that I'll stay up until the girl gets up.
There was a delay in the response and then it comes back that they were out running errands. This irked me off, but I reacted in a way that some of you guys recommended on here.
Instead of just acknowledging it and saying "Ok" and being butt hurt I responded with "Ok, the window that I have to connect with my daughter is small window, regardless it is important to me. Kiss her and tell her I love her".
Wife responds back with a blatant lie that she called but I didn't pick up, which I respond with "Ok, nothing on my end, thank you" and ended the convo.
An hour later the wife responds with "I assumed that you had gone to bed and didn't want to wake you" another lie. I wanted to respond with "A follow up text would have worked" I haven't respond and won't respond to it.
Old me would have been "WTF? Why didn't you call" "Why aren't you returning my texts" etc etc.
Now its more disappointed I wasn't able to talk to my daughter, and now that my wife is lying about petty shit is sort of amusing.
One thing that deployed people have to deal with is the feeling of being an afterthought and forgotten. It's a bitch that creeps into your mind and if you are an afterthought where is their forethought? Damn one's hamster does run wild sometimes but if know its going to run you can trap it.
With all that said, I have to say I am slightly amused due to my readings. I feel that I fogged her lie, and the fact that she tried to shift guilt to me with the last text was something I chuckled at.
I'm going to minimize initiating with the wife this week as I am going to not be distracted by these shenanigans. If she reaches out I'll do the 2/3 rule per POON and work from there.
Did I handle the situation better than before, or what should I evolve?