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Ex wife moved back in town from 2000 miles away, came to our sons bday party I threw, she tried kino on me

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May 20, 2018
17 upvotes

Long story short I got divorced five years ago when I discovered my ex wife was having an affair at work and followed that rabbit hole down her social media. Where I discovered that when she had prior told me that she didn't even have a boyfriend in college she didn't mean she was alone. But rather that she enjoyed going out every weekend and getting banged by bar and club randos, including getting gang banged, etc etc, and that she was still chatting with and sending nudes to these guys on Facebook. Sorta my red pill awakening.

Divorce took two years, standard hell filled with lies that I was a bad abusive man (I was a weak nice guy beta), and immediately after the divorce was finalized she sued me again only this time she wanted to move two thousand miles away with full custody. I had given up after watching my entire life savings and life turn to dust and had taken the red pill hard. So I knew my only chance for my goal, being a family man, was in finding a new wife. This was two years ago.

Now today I'm a top man. No longer a fat loser but a top 5% man. With a wife a decade younger than my ex wife, who is in my frame and adores me. She's also pregnant. I follow the married red pill advice with her and it works, amazingly well. I'm happily married.

Two months ago my ex wife called me and told me that she's sorry. An apology that the blue pilled me would have died for, but the red pilled me doesn't care. She told me that our son needs his father, that he's her entire life, and that she got a job here where I live and was moving back. She told me she would negotiate with me and not use the family courts against me. Hilarious, of course, cause I don't think they would be receptive to her suing me to try to give me back partial custody.

I do worry that she will try to get child support redone as my income has risen in these years.

I went to dinner with her a month ago. My new wife, myself, her, and she surprised me with her "long term boyfriend". Who she claimed she has been dating for years, only in an LDR as he lives here where I live not 2000 miles away. They didn't touch and their interactions seemed forced. I'm clearly 3+ points higher smv but I really liked the guy. A nice stable beta, who I don't worry about being around my kid.

Today was that sons sixth birthday. She asked me when she told me she was moving back if I would plan his birthday party. I did, it went very well, and he had am amazing time playing with all his cousins he's never really met before. He's finally out for the night.

During the birthday party, though, I felt a hand caress me from the top of my back down to my ass. I turned thinking my wonderful new post red pill wife would be there. No. It was my ex wife. And she immediately turned and walked away.

Later I brought this up to my wife. She told me she saw it like a laser. And said, with a dread induced smile, that she's not worried (lol) and it just means the ex wife is jealous.

Now my ex wife is quite good looking for her age. But she's almost 40 and my wife is still in her twenties, and better looking. Plus I made this new marriage from a red pilled frame. I harbour no desire to hook up with my ex wife. My desire is that we remain on these good terms and she doesn't start using the family court system against me again. She's fully aware that she could, and she knows that her lies will not only be believed but will work. My goal is to remain on good terms only, and not have her turn into a vindictive bitch again.

This is new territory for me. I have pretty good game no I've maxed my SMV (which isn't going to help me here), and I've got my shit together. In our interactions how should I proceed? I've thought that if she tries kino on me again I should set a boundary there, but where and how to draw that line? A woman scorned and all that...

Any tips? Anyone been in this territory before? Any advice is very much appreciated.


Post Information
Title Ex wife moved back in town from 2000 miles away, came to our sons bday party I threw, she tried kino on me
Author oneredguy
Upvotes 17
Comments 82
Date 20 May 2018 05:32 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204468
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8kqs9b/ex_wife_moved_back_in_town_from_2000_miles_away/
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Comments

[–]Barvazon47 points48 points  (10 children) | Copy

Thread extremely lightly. Don't be alone with her. Record phone calls and birthday parties by video.

That woman turned the state against you to suck you dry, took your kid and ran away 2k miles. She lied to you countless times. Now she figures it sucks to be an old woman, divorced +1.

You have something good going, do not ever dare to trust her again because she will fuck up your life again.

I would not set a hard boundry, but I would be very careful to be in a room alone with her.

[–]Wolveryn11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

Be stern, but understanding. She is still your child's mum and AWALT.

But yea don't go back. Have some self respect.

I it was me, I'd just say 'Hi I'd appreciate you didn't touch me like we're dating cause that would be silly'.

[–]oneredguy[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Great response! Thank you

[–]Chump_No_More2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yes, that's good, actionable advise.

My ex tried that same over familiarity with me once, while I was still working at the marital home to get it sold and my financial freedom back. I firmly shut it down without over dramatizing.

They know that while they continue to have some 'institutional' power over you, they can take liberties... it's a fucking script.

Having to play nice with a woman who lied to, and cheated on, you is a nasty, steaming shit sandwich you have to eat (I know, I also have the t-shirt) but be mindful it's a compromise you make to forward your goals... own it.

Once the house was sold, I ghosted her... as much as I could for a whack job woman who took a position at my place of work after we were divorced, but that's another story.

[–]oneredguy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very similar story. Once I finally got the divorce done and the house sold and all savings relieved from being frozen and payments made? I ghosted. She actually wanted to take my kid away as well, so I ghosted everything.

It was really the best way things could be.

Now that she's back? Well. That's why I made this post.

Man you're almost there brother. Almost free. What a fucking relief. What a burden lifted. Do you have any kids?

[–]oneredguy[S] 5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

Thank you for the response. And the reminder to never trust her. After seeing what a woman I was deeply in oneitis for, spent almost a decade with, could do? I trust my current wife only as much as I can verify. My ex wife? I'm still kind of worried about her knowing my info since she stole my identity so many times during the divorce.

Crazy to think that she somehow believes I could just forget about all of that. I can act like it, but it's just an act. For that child, who deserves none of this.

I haven't been recording but I had prior closed off all forms of communication that aren't saved, except I haven't been recording our phone calls. I still have that digital recorder from the divorce. I should get it back out. I have no plans to be alone with her. Yes I should think about that. Never be alone with her. Ever.

As luck would have it with the new wife I have a natural and constant dread game going on, so she will always make sure I'm not alone with the ex wife. I'm not sure that would be enough in the psycho court system, however, so I will start video recording. It can't hurt anything.

[–]Barvazon8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yea, don't be obvious about it. Havin a party or a bbq? Video your son and ex wife having fun. Hell, have her video tape you and your son.

Tell her you want your son to have recorded memories from his parents for when he gets old.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Crazy to think that she somehow believes I could just forget about all of that.

No, you don't understand. Given your description of her, she's not sitting down at a table with a big strategy map plotting out her next 20 moves with contingency plans. This is a woman who played out whatever she was doing 2,000 miles away and is now back to see what shit she can start with you again. She's winging this.

Everything she does and says needs the classic prefix "Right now I feel like..."

[–]nastynickdrRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This kind of post makes me see how much even redpilled men are still trapped into the feminine imperative.

Sit back for a second and exchange WOMAN for MAN in your post.

Imagine that for whatever reason, a male friend you trusted deeply fucked you over, used the flawed legal system to take almost everything you got and legally took your child 2000 miles away for 5 years. And theres a good chance he can use the legal system to fuck you over again.

And now he wants to come back and be on "good terms", have dinners and BBQ with you.

What would you do? Play nice?

[–]oneredguy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

But she's not a man she's a barely human woman. She acts according to how she feels. And in that marriage I failed to control how she feels. If she was a man? We'd get into a fight and after figure out our hard boundaries. But she's less than a man, carrying around the power of the state in her pocket.

Since she's not a man, but an inferior subhuman who can't actually think, I'll just make sure I keep my responses to her appropriate to her level. The level of feelz.

[–]BobbyPeru2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would not set a hard boundry, but I would be very careful to be in a room alone with her

\thread

[–]The_LitzRed Beret24 points25 points  (4 children) | Copy

Look, that cunt took everything you had before. Now she comes back and you are still afraid of her, trying to be nice. Having dinner with her and her new 'friend'. Fuck that. She is pulling the strings again and you are falling for it.

She doesn't put a foot in your house. You don't put a foot in her house. You don't do parties together. Your kid gets 2 parties. One with mom and one with you.

She already took everything from you, what more can she take? She is your ex. You can get along for the kids sake, but you have a new family now. Stay the fuck away from that cunt.

[–]freshona3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Once again, correct.

[–]oneredguy[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

She is pulling strings. I'm not falling for it. Keeping her out of my house does seem like a good idea. But during the birthday party I think it would be fine, and indeed it was. Best to keep this to an absolute minimum though

[–]alpha-zach7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Careful OP. She’s a mastermind. I’d err on the side of caution as this commenter has suggested.

[–]NightFire450 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

SEEMS? Jebus help me. My ex and I divorced on reasonable terms and we don't go into each other house unless necessary. Also child parties are split. Your playing with fire and I think your MRP frame needs to be re-evaluated.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret12 points13 points  (7 children) | Copy

Why in God's name are you expecting better treatment because she out on a smile?

She wants something from you, and women take rejection poorly when they don't get it

[–]oneredguy[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

I only expect better treatment because she wants something from me now. But yes, as you said below, play with fire and you'll get burned. I have no reason to interact with her in any way other than what time can I pick up my son? And I'm dropping him off at this time. Otherwise? No contact.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

A older poster on here used to respond to the ex requests with "send it to me in an email"

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I only accepted written and mailed letters.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Never did trust telegraphs 😂

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Indians always cutting the wires and all.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I only accept smoke signals. Plausible deniability.

[–]juliusstreicher0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Body and car cam at the drop off.

[–]markpf737 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

Have you ever heard the scorpion and the frog fable?

Never let down your guard for she is the scorpion and you the frog.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Yet the frog gives the bitch a free ride every time......

[–]PersaeusRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

the incredible lightness of vagina

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

that would be a great book title!

or a new zen cult.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Light as a feather, heavy as a mountain."

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

She told me a son needs his father.

You are being manipulated, retard. She felt the exact opposite, when it was the best strategy to put money in her pocket and distance between the two of you. Now, the best means to extract even greater resources, is to get you to "man up" and raise your kid. Being an unpaid babysitter, potential emotional tampon, and emergency cock under glass also play into her new strategy.

This has nothing to do with you, or your kid.

Be the father you want to be, but unless the custody and support orders are amended to express your greater involvement, (e.g., usually support payment goes down, as parenting time goes up), you keep the status quo.

Your ex does not have your best interest in mind.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

that from Rulezerodad is all you need to know about this situation. The ex-wife is clearly much smarter/cunning than OP, so why bother to mess up your good thing with your current wife and son. Yes she has your son-- keep in contact with him, but not the ex-wife.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Moderately similar position: Kid and ex that is apparently now still into me despite blowing up the relationship. (To be fair, my BP self helped blow it up, but I was blind at the time. I got a new thing that's RP and good too.

DO NOT TRY TO PLAY BOTH SIDES OF THE COIN. It will work, and has for me, but is far more of a headache. I realized too late that it doesn't matter. She will be into you whether you float a shadow of a carrot or not. So while it has technically "worked" I think compared to the counter-world it has been just as effective and not more so.

In my experience, she's been "scorned" once. She's coming back and so won't be scorned again unless you give her too much carrot. Just keep your distance. Do not trust her, but be friendly with her. No more than friendly.

Also, if you have a good RP relationship, get your first mate's counsel on your interactions. It will do good dread work, but also give you good insight. Women know women pretty well. It's why they all hate each other.

[–]oneredguy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you for the good advice. Friendly but distant. It's how I have been playing this so far and I see no reason to do anything else.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

I got divorced five years ago when I discovered my ex wife was having an affair

This is the whole story here man. She was trash before; she is just older trash now. By virtue of age, she plays her games smarter than before DO NOT BE ALONE WITH HER - EVER.

On the other hand, if you have no self respect, play with her. You lost before, playing again is beyond risky.

All of your descriptions about how the ex still looks good, is indicative that you are looking, you are tempted. Mentioning it to your now wife, means you are torn enough to get a second opinion. Posting here, tells me you are in deep trouble. Let it go man. No, you do not get a rematch with trash that burned you before.

I have been there.

[–]Tebulus3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

This OP, dont try to be clever or "RP" about this out of some misguided sense of revenge or whatever it is floating through your skull. Distance yourself as far away from this ex-wife as you can while still fulfilling your legal obligations.

Alternatively buy your ex-wife a strap-on because she likes fucking you and apparently the her fingers aren't enough.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

buy your ex-wife a strap-on

She would hurt him.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's exactly how to be rp about it. Pretending to be a mastermind is pure ego

[–]oneredguy[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Super true. Appreciate the reminder and advice.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

K

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

If you engage with this woman in any way beyond what would be considered ‘reasonable’ in a court of law for the sake of parenting your child, and you will DESERVE EVERY FUCKING THING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU.

She is a lying cunt whore, like most of them, and whether you fuck her or not; never, ever forget her objectives:

1) Separate you from your hot wife

2) Separate you from your money.

NEVER, EVER, NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS.

First, TAKE CONTROL of this situation and keep the wife INFORMED. Do NOT give your wife control or say in how this is handled. If you do, you may find your RP marriage crumbling along with your frame as you enter hers.

ABC...ALWAYS BE in CONTROL.

Second, see a couple of attorneys...NOW.

Find out how you can mitigate the damage and protect your family when she attacks you. Ask a LOT of questions, and remember the guy she was with and what was said.

If you go back to court again, a good attorney can put EVERYTHING back on the table. Morals clauses, conditions of joint/legal custody, conditions of forfeiture...

I see a pretty clear path where this could go your way favorably, depending on the state you are in, and you could actually win; but ONLY if you have done ALL of the prep work in advance.

Be the Norman Schwarzkopf on the battlefield of your own life.

Stormin’ Norman studied the Middle East and the conditions of war there, YEARS in advance of ever getting there.

And when he did arrive, because of plans and preparation, he fucking RULED AND DICTATED the terms of engagement.

You know what she wants.

She will go for it.

Plan NOW to burn her shit down, utterly destroy her for the evil cunt that she is, and terminate her as a woman in your life with extreme prejudice.

Get ready to fight like your life depends on it, because it fucking does.

Your level of preparation will be a direct reflection of how much you care about your wife and your son.

Time to get back to fucking work.

[–]oneredguy[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I don't plan or want to go back to court with her. I've negotiated an every other weekend visitation schedule verbally with her. Sure she can refuse, but I don't really care if she does. So long as I don't do something retarded I believe I'll be safe. At least as safe as I am driving to work every day. I don't want anything from her just for her to more or less leave me alone. I know what she wants from me, which she can't have.

If anyone ever reads through these posts again thank you all for the advice. I'm just going to reiterate it in my response to you, to make sure my plan is sound. Play with fire? You get burned. So keep all contact to a minimum and respond only in ways appropriate for joint parenting. Never ever be alone with her, and keep recordings of times we do end up in similar locations.

Meanwhile keep up my routine of winning and keep my focus on my plan.

So long as I don't fuck up by trying to do some serious stupid game on her I'll be fine. Just moved back to "joint" every other weekend custody. Which I was a tad bit worried about as that child sort of died in my head, but it's been alright. Sure he's messed up but that's on me for being a weak willed beta before and marrying a slut.

She don't get to trade back to what she could have had. And she doesn't need to know anything about me or my life beyond what time I can go pick up my son in two weekends, and what time I'm dropping him off.

She tried to text my this morning about my oldest dog, who I got when we were married. I just ignored it completely and later texted her, "on my way to drop off the kiddo". Nothing else. Which is the best plan of action for her coming back into my life.

Appreciate all you guys taking the time to offer me advice.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Look, she is sniffing around. GO SEE A LAWYER! Get some legal advice to help deal with this situation.

[–]GroundbreakingDevil1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Jesus Christ, man...

 

GO SEE A FUCKING LAWYER, NOW!

 

You've been fucked by your ex once already, why in the hell would you willingly set yourself up for the same thing to happen again?

If you actually have your shit together now as you've said in your OP, a few hundred bucks spent on at least a consult or two would be money well spent.

 

Even if she's not the evil mastermind you're imagining she can still blunder through fucking up your new life just by listening to her feelz and saying a few of the right things to the right people.

Get some legit legal advice, man, even if it's only for peace of mind.

[–]oneredguy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lawyer advice for what? I could go see a competent divorce attorney tomorrow for nothing, I already have an attorney. What would I consult them about, exactly?

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red11 points12 points  (10 children) | Copy

Any tips?

This should have been a [FR] from your new RP lens, rather than what is basically a highly wrote out pre-victim puke looking to us to provide you direction and validation.

Here is a tip. re-ghost this fucking woman, and the child you have not seen in 5 years. Keep paying your child support like a good man, because if you don't then:

She is going to sue you again. She is going to try and fuck up your relationship with your current wife. She is going to get her meat hooks back into you and take you for a second ride on her strap-on.

This woman already did it to you once. She has already won, and believe me she fucking remembers it. She is gearing up to do it again.

You have learned shit. You have internalized shit. You are already back to operating in her frame again, and setting yourself up for failure.

Meeting her for a meal? What in the actual fuck is your fucking problem faggot? Did you pay for her dinner and the "beta" man that has been raising your son for the past "X" years, cause we know how fucking awesome it is to white knight and raise a kid that is not yours.

You know shit. You were dumb enough to get married once. OK, I did that same fucking thing to. But then, you get married again. Why? Because you learned shit. You think you need to get married to lock a woman down or have a kid? You are a special kind of stupid fuck.

You are worried about her touching you again? She touched your back. Big fucking deal. Did she grab your junk, or touch you more than once?

Here is a LPT for you. Dont be around her AT ALL. Carry a voice recorder at all times when you are. If you want to be around your son you have not raised, then FINE, but that is all. TWO of everything.

You are not co-parents. You have not been, and have no need to be.

So, my final TIP is to:

Read this post until your eyes bleed and do exactly what I say.

Or the next post you make will be how she fucked up your current marriage, she fell on your dick, and now you are paying child support to TWO dumb fucking women.

Edits:

She told me that our son needs his father

She wants more of your money you dumb thick skull tool. Your son has not needed a father in 5 years, now all of a sudden? Give me a break.

She asked me when she told me she was moving back if I would plan his birthday party.

This woman STILL has your balls. She "asked" you to do something? Give me a break. She told you to do it and your STILL listen like a little faggot bitch.

ex wife was having an affair

You are a special kind of stupid. Is the kid really yours?

A woman scorned and all that

A man with no back bone or ball sack and all that.

[–]oneredguy[S] -2 points-1 points  (8 children) | Copy

That's a lot of assumptions you make in your insulting rambling hair shirt chest thumping screed. Maybe relax for a bit and take a breather before you reply next time?

[–]ktogrnt5 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy

Username does not check out. Should be changed to zeroredguy.... don't ask for "any tips" then go off on a pussy rant response to one of the most red-proven veterans in this sub you faggot. I don't comment like ever...but this bullshit you just posted back to redsffplus pissed me the fuck off.

[–]oneredguy[S] -1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

Sorry you are pissed off

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

Nothing says frame like saying sorry to a random internet stranger who has more balls than you.

[–]oneredguy[S] -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

Your advice was... not even terrible. You made so many assumptions in your desperate attempt to amog that by the end of your rambling insults I don't even know who you were giving advice to anymore. It certainly wasnt me. Really revealed a lot about you, though. And having a little pet come along to protect you? I think I'll just block you. You can still make your rambling, I'm the only real man in the room, nonsensical insult replies. I just won't have to waste my time reading them.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

/u/oneredguy... is /u/red-sfpplus insulting your dignity? Does he have you all wrong? Did he make assumptions?!?

I'll ban him right away. You shouldn't have to deal with that, ever. I'm completely morally incensed at this whole situation. So sorry you had to deal with that.

NOT.

Kill the ego and quit being a bitch or I'll just ban you instead.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think I'll just block you.

ugh OP, sticks and stones man. if you can't handle this you should really stay out of the fatherhood business. shit gets rough.

[–]juliusstreicher0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well, he may have been a bit abrasive, but, he makes good points. Your OP indicates that you are terrified of her, she snaps her fingers, you jump, this whore uses the system to enslave you, yet, you go by her plan to bypass it...then, you question wtf you would need a lawyer????

You got what was coming to you.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Today was that sons sixth birthday. She asked me when she told me she was moving back if I would plan his birthday party. I did, it went very well, and he had am amazing time playing with all his cousins he's never really met before. He's finally out for the night.

The fuck? You like playing with hand grenades? Because this woman is about as shit tier as they come. Your wife took 100% custody. You should be making her live with that decision.

And if you feel bad for your son - just remember that nature is pretty cruel.

Or be a soy boy. Whatever.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Pat test STAT

[–]oneredguy[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Did that three years ago. He's mine

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

RZD advice on this thread is your action plan.

your EX clearly has her own agenda; and you need to discuss with a lawyer the potential positive and negative ramifications of developing a relationship with your biological child before proceeding any further. you really should have done this before making any contact; but that water under the bridge.

given the toxic nature of your ex; any type of co-parenting relationship is out of the question. so the real question your asking yourself is "do i want to be a father to my biological child".

first off; your child will want this. i have know several adopted people. they seek out their bio parents, normally in their late teens/early 20's, like homing pigeons.

more importantly, you have to decide if you want this child in your life. consider whether you can lead your current wife through this relationship because she will always see your son as the other . . . and she did not sign up for this.

[–]oneredguy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Very true. I've been working through these things for these months now. It is actually a bit more complicated but I won't get into the additional here right now. My wife is fully in my frame. I'm a 9, she's a 7, so I have found that I have a lot of leeway to err on the side of too much alpha.

But yeah it's a pretty big change that I hadn't planned. She's doing great so far, but wife management is crucial. I wish I had been aware of this before. Alas

[–]Gaetanorex2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The only question you should be asking is where you can buy a good shovel.

[–]JudgeDoom692 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

he lives here where I live not 2000 miles away

This is why she is moving back. Not for you, and not for your son. She is moving closer to her new BB.

You should play her like a grand piano. Give her occasional bread crumbs of interest. This way you can manipulate her into the custody and child support arrangement that best suites you.

If you get 50/50 custody, your child support payment will go down substantially, regardless of your change in income.

[–]oneredguy[S] 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

When she wanted to take him 2k miles away with full custody my part of this deal was state mandated minimum child support. I barely pay anything.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

ahhh, the plot thickens

[–]JudgeDoom690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The best outcome would be if he could get some time with his kid (after DNA test) and maintain the same support payment. That would be an accomplishment.

[–]oneredguy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I should have included that in my OP. Hence my worry that she'll try to get child support redone. I can't stop her if she does so I'm accepting and planning for it now.

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Any tips?

Yes, stay away from the ex-wife. Do Not permit yourself to be alone with her for even a second. Record all your transactions. Don't forget for a second that she is the enemy and that she can and will use the big dicked White knights with batons and guns to enforce her will once she figures out she can't seduce you and ruin your current marriage.

Don't forget that is her goal in moving back. She is the enemy. Plan accordingly.

That said Do Not let the ex wife know. Play along. Smile. Encourage her to be in the friend zone with you. Make her think you are flattered by all her attention. Negotiate child support arrangements in good faith.

[–]oneredguy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Absolutely.

Now to let the game unfold.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

She’s a manipulator never trust her. Always have her recorded watched if possible while interacting. Never.....ever be alone with her.

I've thought that if she tries kino on me again I should set a boundary there

Most kino ignore it like it doesn’t exist. She makes to kiss you or handle the goods that’s where you draw the line.

My desire is that we remain on these good terms

And there you are getting all concerned about keeping her happy because she’s holding cards. That blue pill looks so sweet doesn’t it? The siren is calling you. She’s got your kid, and she knows you care now are you going to “keep her on good terms?”

Or

IDGAF.

Of course you like your kid, being a monkey on her leash won’t happen instantly it will happen one very small compromise at a time to keep her on “good terms”.

Maybe she sees you as her new Chad booty call to suppliment Beta Bobs inability to get her hot. Maybe she’s psycho and can’t stand to see you happy. Regardless there is no way her machinations have anything good for you or your kid. Remember that.

If she was really concerned about him she you’d still be married.

[–]oneredguy[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

If she was really concerned about him she you’d still be married.

Of course. During the divorce she told me one night, "you know I only really care about myself". So yes of course. She's almost 40 and a single mom. I'm a top man she once had. I know what she's thinking.

My kid is back. Whether so she can be closer to her new beta or for some other reason doesn't matter. Keep my focus on my life, easy to do at this point, and never give her the rope she could use to hang me.

I'm very glad I made this post though and got to hear from the rest of you guys. I'm not in danger like a married man whose wife is doing bad, she can't evict me from my house, and what could she do? Refuse to let me see my kid? Nah. I'm just her free baby sitter so she can try to get her hooks into her new beta. She may dream about getting me back but yeah? My mid twenties wonderful pregnant wife is literally right there. And I was awake when I chose this one.

It is good to talk it out though and see other guys advice. I appreciate it a lot bro. I've fucked my life up enough at this point. No desire to do so again.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

and what could she do?

Other than fabricate some #metoo get you arrested, affect your professional career, ruin whatever relationship you have now by fabricating you cheating. You mean other than that obvious stuff?

[–]oneredguy[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I have enough game at this point to take care of all of that. Even then let's imagine where the worst hell comes, and let's imagine I'm totally blue pill retarded and unaware? I'll still be fine. Because I can build it all again.

And again.

Hilariously enough I realize at this point that simply acknowledging that and accepting it means that she won't.

My game is pretty tight now. My walls are reinforced, truly, that no one can take from me. Even if I woke up tomorrow divorced again, homeless again, with nothing again? I still win. I always win.

So yeah that's an issue but not anything for me to worry about. Yet.

Anyway at this point why would she do any of that? She's still busy trying to impress me, vaguely, with the vague no hope she knows, that she could get me back.

I'll keep encouraging her to go for this new guy, through subtle game, push pulling for him. And just let the cards fall. It's all I can do at this point. I am prepared. My mental state is prepared.

If she ever goes to the state for anything, anything, at all, I retreat back to absolute no contact. With her or that kid. And she knows this. Because I already told her.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Anyway at this point why would she do any of that?

To many women, if a man divorces and has a great life, ruining that life doesn't need a purpose it is a purpose.

[–]oneredguy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Another red man suggested to me that she moved back here to be closer to her new guy. He didn't say it but I've thought it. And to have me available as free babysitting. It appears that this is true, among the many things that are true.

Perhaps she's realized that at her age and in her single mom condition this guy is the best guy she could hope to try to get. He may be genetically endowed to have a lower smv but from what I've seen be does indeed have some game in him. I hope this is true and that he conquers her.

If she didn't have a guy? Or if she only had a play thing loser guy with no game? I'd be more worried. I still worry, but things do appear to be stabilizing into a new equilibrium. Fine so far.

If there's a big change I'll make sure I let you guys know.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I have enough game at this point to take care of all of that.

you play a mean game boy.

i'm going to lump your above statement with

I'm a 9

Tom Brady and The Rock are 9's. Beckman is a 10. Your very likely neither. Assuming you understand a bell curve, these two comments show your ego.

Would you invite a pack of black widow spiders into your house because you insect game is tight?

[–]mrpthrowa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're stumped because your frame is still so weak you find it validating and perplexing that your ex touched your back. All she did was that, and here you are writing pages about her.

[–]Majormikeoz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'd say a couple of things.

Firstly don't trust her with a barge pole.

As a lot of the guys have said. Record everything, don't let her into your house, always have someone around when she is, never be alone with her.

But i would say this. You have a son. It wasn't his fault he was born to the woman he was.

It's my belief you can use this as an opportunity to get to know your son. You won't have another one like him and one of the most satisfying things in the world is being a dad and having your son tell you he loves you.

Don't trust the bitch but work on your relationship with you son. This is an opportunity to develop an enduring positive relationship with your boy.

He will know the true content of both of your characters when he grows up.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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