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Getting a bj instead of sex... is this a bad thing?

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RedPillNewb88
May 18, 2018
8 upvotes
askMRP

I don't want to make a long winded post. I'll just give a quick rundown of things lately

My wife is done with school. Shes home every night now. I am on top of my shit. Lifting, coaching tball. I have our sons outside basically until dark. She hangs out with us. She even plays catch with our youngest as I help our oldest with hitting drills. I cleaned out the garage. Lawn looks incredible (Thank you Scott's plan, get the app, guys). We go on family walks. I am working everyday with the dogs in training them more (My Aussie is incredible).

And she is on top of her game as well. House is always clean. Dinner cooked every night. She is flirty and fun 90 percent of the time. I came home two days ago and she was wearing her new Under Armour leggings and a bikini top. ( I said to her "I want to come home to you in this outfit everyday" She laughed, we kissed). She initiates a A LOT, but every now and then I get shot down and she offers to blow me. So I cheer her on, making it clear that I like what shes doing.

Don't get me wrong, I like getting the BJs, but part of me still hates getting shot down for sex. I'm trying to kill that.

Given that all seems well... I think I am making more of deal in my head than what it is... but if you get shot down for sex and get the BJ instead... how do you take it? I take it as a sign that I'm not quite where I need to be as far as SMV


Post Information
Title Getting a bj instead of sex... is this a bad thing?
Author RedPillNewb88
Upvotes 8
Comments 54
Date 18 May 2018 01:05 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204478
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8kd08i/getting_a_bj_instead_of_sex_is_this_a_bad_thing/
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Comments

[–]2ndalRed Beret21 points22 points  (10 children) | Copy

nice first world problem

you got nothing to worry about man

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 4 points5 points  (9 children) | Copy

But you at least get where I'm coming from right?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (8 children) | Copy

I get it. That sometimes happens to me. It's a bj not out of desire but more out of her just fullfilling her duties as a wife (which is not necessarily a bad thing). Depending on the quality of the bj, you might consider taking the same approach as one would with the starfish. Caveman her face. Or...don't finish and instead let her know it just isn't doing it for you.

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 5 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy

Ehh, it starts out bad and boring sometimes but I've found that if I "cheer her on" regardleas, she gets really into it and sloppy, porno style bjs.

[–]DoctorNini1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe it also has something to do with how she experiences her own sexuality in those moments? I tend to go for BJs at a certain point in my cycle because of how unsexy I feel (bloated, mentally unstable because of hormones, etc). However, sometimes my husband's reaction will make me feel so empowered and sexy that we will end up having sex anyway. Has nothing to do with him, only with my insecurities and hormones. Maybe the same is the case for your wife? Does she have enthusiastic sex with you at other times?

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

She wants to make him happy, so she makes him happy, doesn't have to be anything but

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

My wife isn’t always hungry the same time as me, but if she’s still willing to make me an awesome meal regardless, who the fuck cares. Same thing applies here.

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Excellent point. She's just trying to please me.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

she was wearing her new Under Armour leggings and a bikini top

yeah that just got added to the shopping list

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seems like she wants to make you happy so she's blowing you. If she's typically initiating and enthusiastic most of the time, I wouldn't sweat it.

Often, when my wife is just down for a BJ, and I want sex, I let her suck it for a while, constantly talking dirty to her and telling her how much I like having my cock in her (which she responds to with her own dirty talk)... I'm usually able to get her to fuck enthusiastically instead of "just" finishing the bj. I usually play with her tits and finger her while she blows me. If she wasn't down for sex initially, this foreplay will more often than not get her there.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

then I get shot down and she offers to blow me.

this is what men who are desired get. It's new to you, but you'll get used to it. Sometimes the plumbing ain't ready for use, it happens

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Her main excuse is that she didn't shower. So... I have said, "Alright, let's go shower" and we do. Then we fuck. Sometimes it just too late at night and I just say, "Well take one tomorrow and I'll get at that ass" and then I'll take my bj

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

So a blowjob because she's too lazy to shower?

You basically 'made her your slut' sometimes the children just need direction. Go brush your teeth, now go to bed e.g.

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I know! Like wtf...I shower everyday! But she says she goes every other day, at least, because it would fuck up her hair... idk... whatever.

The more I see my post the more I realize this was a dumb thing to have in my head. Sometimes though, typing it all helps me see that there's really not an issue here because she's just trying to please me.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Figured it would.

You're just not used to being in this space, it's a great problem to have

[–]Reach180Red Beret4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

Check with /u/bogeyd6 . He's posted on this same conundrum.

https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5xxtg8/how_many_blow_jobs_is_too_many/

[–]Tebulus6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

hahaha, top comment "fuck you".

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I was wondering if anyone else remembered

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What a difference a year makes. Wow, when I found MRP vs where I am today. Its like from point a to z.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/378hj2/need_advice_on_which_books_to_buy_and_study_first/ <— first post by bogey on red pill, all those years ago. For all you new folk, you would get a lot out of bogey’s journey.

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In the end, after almost two years of retrospective. Blowjobs are just the last rung on the ladder. When a woman is willing to give only you pleasure, its a sign of the times. If you want to keep that ball rolling I would suggest the magic wand from amazon. That thing can single handedly save marriages.

[–]toolboy_133 points4 points  (10 children) | Copy

Did she swallow?

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

She doesn't swallow really. But I let it go on her tits most of the time. That's my favorite.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

Came here to ask this.

No swallow is worse than starfish pity sex.

[–]wrong_hole_lol0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Is this hyperbole? I'm genuinely asking.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nope. Srs.

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Is it though?

I don't understand why some don't swallow... and others do.. it's on your fucking mouth already...

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It is to me.

Everyone has different standards.

[–]Mukato0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

she doesn't want to swallow for someone that isn't hot enough.

She will Swallow Chad's load and lick her lips afterwards, begging for more.

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well that sucks lmaoo, but she's never swallowed since day one. So idk. Guess I'm not her Chad. Whatever tho... I'm just gonna keep doin what I'm doin.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is definitely a nawalt. Not all women will gargle chads spermatazoa.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She doesn't swallow really

Neither did mine...at first. Now she wants every last drop like it is the elixir of life.

If Chad was here, she would swallow his cum like a frat girl with a beer bong. This is not an opinion, it is a fact.

If you want to fuck her, fuck her. Don't do pity sex/sex acts. You want enthusiastic sex, everything else is a covert contract.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

The bull doesn’t care that the cow prefers giving BJs...

Try a different order, after she blows you, then fuck her. If she iniates a lot, frequently puts her mouth over your cock, SMV is good, might be a sequencing issue I bet.

Edit: Good sign she’s being submissive and servicing her king.

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nice. Good idea.

[–]Wolveryn1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Many women don't tend to want sex as often as men, with my wife we have a 10 month old... so I'd say once a month I can expect her to jump me when I get home from work. I try to not be the initiator of sex. I fail at that often, but I try, mainly cause I find cumming too often clouds my cognitive ability and overall drive to succeed... makes me soft essentially... and also because sex is best when she's the one wanting it.

You could tell her you prefer to fuck her brains out next time and see what she says?

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is terrible advice. Hand your balls to your wife. What could go wrong?

[–]Wolveryn0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Meh, with age comes wisdom.

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

When you get to questioning the value of a blowjob its time to rethink your entire outlook.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's not hungry, but willing to cook you a meal. Willing to take you out to get some food real quick. She wants you fed. Are you getting my drift?

Some shit about women taking days to get into the mood(science, don't ask me)... She may just not be in the mood and blows you.

If anything your SMV is higher because she puts your dick first. She subconsciously or even consciously is considering if she doesn't service that cock, some other girl will.

[–]FFDGTDS1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Scott's plan

Looking for some more info on this organizational app and if it's available on iOS.

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's called My Lawn and it should be available on iOS.

We moved into our house last year and the previous owner had rented it out to some junkies. So you can imagine that the grass was shit. But this year, it's come back thick as hell, and it looks great. Call me Hank Hill, tell you whut haha

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You really have it, ahem, hard.

Some girls prefer sucking dick over sex some days of the month. Sometimes they want it hard and fast with no big finish for them. Sometimes they want you to eat them out for an hour. I wouldn't worry about it. If she wants to suck dick she is attracted.

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

BPP... it's an honor to have you comment on my post good sir. I own your book and listen to your YouTube videos while going to and from work..

Seeing as this post is a bit old... I should say that I've learned to take it as it comes... no pun intended. Things are good, and dress levels are playing out as intended. God speed.

[–]wekacuck2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

every now and then

Doesn't sound like the tip of an iceberg indicating a larger problem.

I like getting the BJs, but part of me still hates getting shot down for sex. I'm trying to kill that.

Killing that is the right response. Why wouldn't you consider a BJs to be sex?

I take it as a sign that I'm not quite where I need to be as far as SMV

Wrong. You're doing fine.

[–]Trtntrenbrah0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

The ex wife was like this.

Everything is escalating nicely then hits you with a soft no with a BJ.

At first never paid much attention to it.

But started to notice a trend that we often would fuck the very next day or 48 hrs later.

Alluded once it was all foreplay to her.

Point being you are on the right track.

[–]RedPillNewb88[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I got my ass handed to me on previous posts so I calmed down a bit on the Rambo stuff. It's worked out for me in the sense that I'm not stressing and for her in the sense that she feels less pressured. So we relaxed and now have a lot fun.

[–]TheIronHeel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This post reads as though when you initiate, then get shot down and offered a BJ, you jump all over it. Have you tried " that's ok to start, and then...ASS!" Have you stood your ground on what you want ( without killing the BJ of course) have yoh been assertive enough to say" I'd love a BJ , but I wanna come in your mouth" ? Or at tell her right before you jump off?

[–]470_2_700_nm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you're fine. keep working on you. maybe throw in a plate or two



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