Hello friends. Let me start by saying that I have read the sidebar and I lift (almost 1000 pound club), and my career is moving along nicely (surgery resident/MD). I say this to not make this discussion about a lack of reading, lifting, or career.
Onto the question: My wife and I have been married since I started residency, about 4 years now, and have been together for over 10 years. We have a 2 yo and a 3 week old. I have been following MRP for about 9 months now and have read the sidebar and have been slowly implementing changes. I know that there have been theories that changes in the relationship can take X amount of time for Y amount of relationship length. Given our relationship length and my time working on this stuff, I expected to see more improvement.
Im wondering if pregnancy and young children is a confounding factor that often slows progress. I started MRP work about when she got pregnant and we had sex maybe 4 or 5 times during the 9 months, and it was never really good. Very minimal HJs no BJs.
Now post delivery we cant have sex for 6 weeks and last time it took her like 6 months before it wasnt painful. Have you guys who have had good or successful marriages noticed similar situations?
Overall Im quite unhappy with the relationship, half the time I dont want to be around her and almost everything she says bugs me. Im still quite attracted to her and care about her a lot and dont think the relationship is dead and am still going to continue putting in work. (Before you post "All I hear is you talking about her", you're right because Im asking how pregnancy and young children have affected your wifes in your relationships).
So should I expect a slower turnaround in the relationship given life events or am I just not doing enough/is the relationship dead? What do you guys think?