wife is overwhelmingly attracted to another man and is in my face about it

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ArticulateSavage
May 5, 2018
19 upvotes
askMRP

My wife (36) and I (35) were at our neighbour’s last night when my wife started effusively praising the physique and attractiveness of a male acquaintance that we all know. She praised his physique and attractiveness while criticising his girlfriend’s physique and attractiveness on two separate occasions over the course of the evening. The second time she brought it up she must have praised him and announced her attraction for him for about ten minutes. I felt humiliated and disrespected. This was something that I had been clear about in the past; I don’t like when married women announce that other men make their pussies wet. I think it’s disrespectful to their husbands. This was something my wife and I had agreed upon. Although we are both human and may feel attraction for others, we won’t rub our attraction in the other’s face. I think it’s a sensible policy.

I suspected her of having an emotional affair with a friend of mine and fellow Afghan War veteran a couple years ago and was able to break it up between them by taking him for a beer and filling him in on how dedicated a father and husband I was. For some reason he just left her alone after that. Or, they got better at Op Sec. Now I suspect that she is smitten with a new fellow despite my best Married Red Pill efforts over the past four years. I swallowed the pill in 2012 and have read everything on the sidebar, some of it multiple times. I lift, dress well am attractive and have the respect of my co-workers and friends. My social calendar is always full and I have meaningful hobbies. I’m bilingual, have a Master’s degree and am very well employed with enormous potential for financial compensation as I age and come into my own in my chosen field. I get plenty of IOIs from other women, my age and younger (old broads too, obviously). Somehow my wife, and my wife alone, treats me with contempt and I am not sure on what to do. Any advice would be much appreciated.


Post Information
Title wife is overwhelmingly attracted to another man and is in my face about it
Author ArticulateSavage
Upvotes 19
Comments 116
Date 05 May 2018 05:55 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204534
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8h965f/wife_is_overwhelmingly_attracted_to_another_man/
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Comments

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agree and amplify. “Yeah he’s fucking hot, I’d fuck him myself, but only if he lets his cute ass girlfriend in with us”.

Then up the dread levels.

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy

She doesn't respect you because she knows you're too big of a pussy to leave her. Stop being a pussy and I bet she will start acting right, if she actually wants you in the first place.

[–]ArticulateSavage9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you. I suspect she wants me to kill the puppy.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret17 points18 points  (15 children) | Copy

I’m bilingual, have a Master’s degree and am very well employed with enormous potential for financial compensation as I age and come into my own in my chosen field.

Dear Mr. BetaBux,

I lift, dress well am attractive and have the respect of my co-workers and friends. My social calendar is always full and I have meaningful hobbies.

You have been following a "Dancing Monkey" Attraction Improvement Programme, with a typical outcome.

Time to swallow the red pill, not the purple one.

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (13 children) | Copy

Thank you for posting that link to "Dancing Monkey" game. I had not read it before. This point resonated with me:

Some of our diligent Type 2 Captains and Career Betas who already overown their wife's shit as well

That's me for sure. Make 74% of the income, do more than 80% of the household work and parent more than her to boot.

In that article there's a link to another article I hadn't read on controlling anger. I do call my wife on her shit. I had recently called her on not taking care of our kids better when they were sick. She ignored my daughter's whimpering, grabbed a coffee and went outside to smoke. I went to my daughter and held her until she was calm. This is typical for us. I do most of the parenting, help with homework and spend more time with them. When they are frightened they call for Daddy, when sick, you'd think they would want their mom but they call for Daddy then too.

It's exhausting and I thought I was owning my shit. Been better about getting in front of the wife and setting expectations. Not that she cares.

[–]maxofreddit7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Your wife smokes? Are you shitting me?

As a follow up to many of the other comments, if she doesn't care about herself, why should you?

EDIT - Judging from the rest of the above comment, she doesn't seem like much of a catch. It's not up to you to change that. In the words of Steve Martin, it's you're job to "Be so good they can't ignore you." By they, in this case, we mean every woman within shouting distance, NOT your wife.

Honestly, it REALLY sounds like you need to take the same STFU pill that I did a year or so ago. The more you talk, the more she'll talk around the issue(s). The less you talk, the more she'll be forced to take action.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your wife smokes? Are you shitting me?

I think OP isn't in nearly as good a shape as he tells us. My wife trips over herself to get her ass to the gym to keep up with me, and I'm not in that awesome shape. There's just no room for smoking too.

[–]PuppetAndTheDwarf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

LOL I’m in 99th percentile shape, abs at 190, I train BJJ 4-6 hours per weeks and lift two days a week, eat clean, use testosterone. If people really care I’ll post my lifts and a pic of my ass. People constantly comment on my physique, women ‘mirin, dudes hate me, children run away, dogs listen, etc.

My wife just bitches that she is out of shape and has no time or desire to fix it. She’s cut the snacking and booze since I told her how unattractive it is to see my wife wasting her time watching TV reruns and drinking wine every night, now she is just normal thin/out of shape, which is a huge improvement. I wish she was tripping over herself to get her ass to the gym.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

went outside to smoke

Gross. Are you suicidal too?

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

No. I don't smoke.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Why would you put up with that? Very low value behavior.

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Why would you put up with that?

Have contacted three lawyers as per the advice received on AskTRP. Am eager to get this moving.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

See the Divorce guides we have on the MRP sidebar.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you, will do.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I do call my wife on her shit.

Been better about getting in front of the wife and setting expectations.

You're setting nothing other than the expectation that you'll continue to be her beta bitch, until you set enforceable boundaries and actually start enforcing them.

Not that she cares.

And there you have it; why should she care, since there are no consequences of concern to her?

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

And there you have it; why should she care, since there are no consequences of concern to her?

Consequences are in bound. Meeting with attorney ASAP.

[–]Chump_No_More0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What value does this woman add to your life?

In what ways does she make your life more difficult?

How much unnecessary drama does she cause?

How easy do you think it would be to replace her with a woman who does add value by making your life easier, not harder, and keeps her bullshit to a minimum?

Do the work by thoroughly answering those questions... make a spreadsheet if you have to.

When you're done, you will know what to do.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I know what I have to do now.

[–]BobbyPeru1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You had my upvote at

Dear Mr. BetaBux

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret23 points24 points  (1 child) | Copy

Either:

A. it bothers you

or...

B. It doesn't

If it's "A" (which it is) then you do something about it.

"it" isn't her... it's you. Don't like her talking about his physique? Maybe you feel you aren't up to that standard... so bring yourself up to that standard... then surpass it.

Maybe you feel that you are good enough and she should stop. Well, I know this is a wild concept, but you can't control her thoughts, feelings, or actions. So you do what you should have done when it happened: stand up, leave the room, maybe the house, go do something else.

Examine your dread levels. I personally jump 2 levels for shit like this, but it hasn't happened to me yet. Praising another man like this is basically a soft version of saying I want him in me. Affair or not, emotional or otherwise, she is fixated on him. So... let her be... but you don't have to be around her for it and she isn't entitled to having you and being fixated on him.

Say nothing, improve yourself, and spend less time with her. Let her figure out who she wants to attach herself to while you are missing from her sphere of attention. I personally wouldn't stop separating my time until she went full-on I want you to fuck me now mode. It could take days, it could take weeks... it may never happen, but you'd know your worth to her and your position in her hierarchy of men at that point.

Eventually you get to dread 10+ Art that point you really don't care anymore because you're fucking other women in secret (10), then openly (11), and finally with her involved (12).

Men don't like to think about this... especially men who are relatively new here; they don't like to consider that they might have divorce, cheat, etc. to be happy. They don't like the idea of being mean to her over "little shit." So, if this shit is so little... why are you complaining about it.

If it's big enough for you to bitch about, it's big enough to matter... otherwise, STFU.

[–]ArticulateSavage2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If it's big enough for you to bitch about, it's big enough to matter... otherwise, STFU.

No. It is big enough to matter. It's hard to convey in a wall of text but I'm a prize. I know it. Have always had women and sex a plenty. The only person on earth whom I've allowed to take advantage of me is my wife and I'm not sure what to do from here. Will consider your advice on dread.

[–]freshona7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Somehow my wife, and my wife alone, treats me with contempt and I am not sure on what to do. Any advice would be much appreciated.

You a bitch. A bilingual, masters degree holding, well earning bitch.

It's all in your head.

[–]ArticulateSavage4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are correct. Thanks for reading and commenting.

[–]Hottosmart5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Role reversal, anyone? So she's playing dread games on you and you've swallowed the bait.

Wait, Red Pill teaches men to play dread games....Is it possible women can use the same techniques?!?!?!

Oh what a revelation!

[–]BobbyPeru5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

This was something that I had been clear about in the past; I don’t like when married women announce that other men make their pussies wet

So, when you announced this weakness to your wife, you didn’t think she’d test you on it?

Sidebar 101

[–]ArticulateSavage2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Face palm.

Fuck.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

“I’m bilingual, have a Master’s degree...”

Who gives a fuck. A gutter punk could fuck your wife if he had some game.

==>

[–]ArticulateSavage2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're probably right. 47 homeless guys even

[–]madali03 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

I’m bilingual

It seems 50% of the world are. So congratulations, for having a trait that is literally average. Some skill that you share with 3 BILLION other people.

have a Master’s degree

"Master's degrees are as common now as bachelor's degrees were in the '60s"

[–]thunderbeyond1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's nothing wrong with being proud of your achievements.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thank you. My ego, naivete and arrogance are what led to believe that it could never happen to me.

[–]BlackFire680 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's a powerful admission and a really good learning. Take it forward into your next relationship.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Americans are proud of being bilingual. In Europe, speaking only 2 languages is a handycap.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

OP, you are living this shit right now. The post it would take to tell us everything about all of this wouldn’t fit here and most of us wouldn’t read it.

You’ve been around TRP for four YEARS, and have read the ENTIRE sidebar once, and parts of it multiple times.

It might be fun to know what drove you to MRP.

So you understand dread, lift, read, and STFU. From Rollo T you’ve learned about hypergamy, inter gender and intersexual dynamics. You learned about her emotional state from David Deida. You’ve learned so many things, and implemented them.

What Dread level did you say you’re at?

But this one little nugget summed it all up for me. It shows me that you know what you want, but you are hesitating. Fear of the unknown?

“My wife wants me to kill the puppy. I know I want to.”

That’s approximate. I’m on my mobile.

Let’s review.

Your wife openly disrespects you. Someone here said it might be a shit test. Really? Where do you draw THAT fucking line? What if she pointed a knife at you and suggested she could gut you like a fish in your sleep? Another shit test?

Open disrespect is just that. It’s NOT a shit test, it’s open disrespect, disdain, for the man that you are.

LOW VALUE WOMAN.

She turned her back on her sick child for a smoke?

LOW VALUE MOTHER.

I’m not advocating divorce, although I am not against it at all. I divorced my first wife because she is a LOW VALUE MOTHER. I am divorcing my second wife because she is a (lying cheating whore) LOW VALUE WOMAN.

You need to see three separate attorneys. Pick one yourself. Get at least two recommendations from your divorced friends, for or against.

Educate yourself.

Then make the BEST DECISION FOR YOU.

Do not sacrifice everything for your daughter. Too many men are into sacrifice. I did that shit. I sacrificed my time, my health, my education, my career, all in an effort to float the ship that supported two families over 23 years at the low low cost of $1.3million.

And now, at 56 years of age, after all that sacrifice, all that work, and all that money, what do I have to show for it?

Yes, I have 3 amazing children.

And an 18 year old car with 311,000 miles on it. A couple pieces of furniture, and $40k in debt.

There’s some sacrifice.

There’s a reason the flight attendant tells you to put YOUR oxygen mask on FIRST.

You are useless to your daughter if you haven’t taken care of yourself first.

So, get your shit together, educate yourself, man the fuck up, and take care of YOU FIRST.

Everyone else in your life, including your daughter, will benefit.

If it were me?

I’d dump that cunty selfish loser bitch and create an AWESOME life for myself.

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It might be fun to know what drove you to MRP.

Her constant disrespect of me and the Herculean efforts I expended on behalf of our family.

It shows me that you know what you want, but you are hesitating. Fear of the unknown?

Yes. I've wanted a divorce for years but feared for the children. Now I feel as though I have no choice, that I must divorce. That deadens the fear somewhat.

Open disrespect is just that. It’s NOT a shit test, it’s open disrespect, disdain, for the man that you are.

That was my impression as well.

There’s a reason the flight attendant tells you to put YOUR oxygen mask on FIRST.

Seeing my attorney first thing this week.

I’d dump that cunty selfish loser bitch and create an AWESOME life for myself.

Roger.

Thank you for your lengthy response to my question and for sharing your personal experiences. I'm sorry that you sacrificed so much but your example serves me well.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

It just goes to show how many men desperately need dread level 1. OP, you clearly need a desperate injection of frame, because without that, nothing your bilingual Masters-degree well employeed rear does will matter.

[–]ArticulateSavage2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck. You're right.

[–]resolutions3163 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

In this post you essentially say a few things:

  1. Wife is openly disrespecting you over something you’ve made clear was a boundary;

  2. You’re “totally all up on MRP” and are fucking hot and could totally fuck lots of other women

  3. Your wife SHOULD be reacting to that but isn’t, and

  4. You won’t do anything about this situation because you’re a “dedicated husband and father”

You are either bullshitting yourself over how far along you are, or haven’t internalized the truth that MRP is not some magic formula to get sex or respect with some specific woman.

Either

A. Fucking do something about it.

Or

B. Decide it isn’t worth it, and don’t.

What else is there?

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

You are either bullshitting yourself over how far along you are, or haven’t internalized the truth that MRP is not some magic formula to get sex or respect with some specific woman.

You are spot on. I'll be calling the lawyer Monday. Will update later.

[–]mala_madre3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Why so drastical? Are there more problems or? Why not just do as the other comments said and take some real action instead of running away? Maybe you have to break later if shit gets worse, but from what you wrote it doesnt seem appropiate, dont know if youre serious with that

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Are there more problems or?

So, so many. Impossible to recount them all here. I wouldn't be running away. I'll still be an amazing Dad, I just won;t be a husband to a cunt anymore.

[–]mala_madre0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ok, wasnt clear in your post. Then clean out the shit from your life. Best of luck!

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do not make a divorce decision based on anything we say here pal.

Take out a pice of paper and write on it. Stay plan = go plan. Put it in your pocket and read it every time you take a shit.

Try that first.

[–]weakandsensitive3 points4 points  (15 children) | Copy

No one's going to ask the obvious?

How fat and out of shape are you?

I don’t like when married women announce that other men make their pussies wet. I think it’s disrespectful to their husbands.

Least hope you don't physically look like bitch tits bob in addition to thinking like bitch tits bob. But I wouldn't bet money on it.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy

How fat and out of shape are you?

Fitness is on point.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy

Bullshit. So on point that you have no numbers.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy

The following are my ORMs:

DL 455

Squat (ass to grass) 310

BP 270

OHP 175

I mile run: 5:05

Sports: soccer 1x a week. Ice Hockey 1x a week. Life long martial artist - 2 amateur MMA fights under my belt. Registered for a power lifting competition in the late summer. Resolution in 2009 to try a new sport every year.

2009: picked up hockey again after a decade off, played all through my youth at a high level

2010: golf

2011: picked up soccer again after more than a decade off

2012: swimming

2013: cycling

2014: MMA - had two amateur fights in 2016 - fucking rush, scarier than actual war

2015: sailing

2016: broomball - don't knock it 'till you've tried it on ice, it'll make your hammies burn like crazy

2017: squash

2018: re-attempting golf, have signed up for lessons. I am terrible at golf

Military career: Paratrooper for 9 years - 119 jumps; former special forces; combat veteran.

6'1" tall, weight fluctuates from 192 (cut) - 210 (bulk) ectomorpgh to mesomorph body through a life time of sports and lifting.

I'll say it again. My fitness is on point.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Cool. Now that we know that's out of the way.

Guess it's only your mindset, insecurity, and lack of self worth that's the problem.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Guess it's only your mindset, insecurity, and lack of self worth that's the problem.

Particularly my self worth. I have contacted lawyers. The go plan is in motion.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

To echo the other people's point here - your wife sounds like absolute dog shit.

That doesn't take away from the fact that your clear insecurity is incredibly unattractive. I just wrote a post on game for 60 DoD. It's directly applicable to you.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That doesn't take away from the fact that your clear insecurity is incredibly unattractive.

You are 100% correct.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Before you take next steps - read all the divorce related posts on MRP's sidebar. Also - do your due diligence documenting things to get 100% custody.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

So the other guy she was talkig about was Phil heath then?

How the fuck could you be 6'1, 190 and she notices him? At that height and weight with thoes numbers you should look amazing. How about a body shot for us all?

How could you be that attractive and be with a woman who smokes AND be burned that a low value smoker notices another man. Would you give a rats ass if a homeless person called you a loser?

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You've commented numerous times questioning my fitness. Project much?

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

At that height and weight with thoes numbers you should look amazing.

Yes. Thank you.

[–]WhiteTrashKillerRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is all well and good, but it's lipstick on a pig! Your emotional neediness and insecurity has doomed your relationship and it will not recover. She openly mocks and disrespects you, overtly showing attraction to other men. Stop investing in what amounts to junk bonds!

Nobody is going to hang another medal on your chest for this campaign. It's better to start a new relationship where a woman only knows this you, if you choose to actually have another LTR(why would you). Get your ducks in a row and pull the trigger or hang around while you build your exit fund and smash her friends while she knows about it. Not to build dread, but to gain your footing before pushing off on that next road march.

She will never see the new you! In fact she is overly contemptuous of you because you've showed up late to the dance and found her wanting to dance with someone else.

GL

[–]TravelingShitLord1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

All I hear is a loss of frame and an unwillingness to eject. Even being married, you have to understand that it is just your turn. Go be you and be happy.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My turn has come to its end. I think she wants me to kill the puppy. I know I want to.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Run dread all the way up the ladder, and if you get to DL 11 and the person you're fucking is better than your wife now, eject.

Funny thing, the person you're fucking at DL 11 is an unknown.

In the meantime, men control commitment. Get the fuck out of the house and build abundance mentality.

Betas explicate, alphas demonstrate.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Betas explicate, alphas demonstrate.

The demonstration will be forthcoming. I will post an update this week sometime.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Oh yeah, his wife/GF is supper hot too. Damn, I'd love to get up in her ass. Hey! Maybe I should see if he'd be into a wife-swap? That's would be a sweet deal for me, am I right?"

[–]TomHicks1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Do you have kids? If not, leave NOW.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Two kids who are the reason I have endured as long as I have.

My only regret will be the temporary pain they endure from their parent's divorce but I see no other way through this now.

[–]Chump_No_More0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

You don't think your kids are watching this train wreck and are cringing just like we are?

"Why does daddy let mommy talk mean to him? If daddy lets mommy treat him badly, then daddy must deserve it. Daddy must be the bad person mommy says he is."

This is what you are teaching your kids by staying with this bitch. If she's such a shitty mother, the kids will be orders of magnitude better off with you. Even if it's 50/50... kids will ALWAYS gravitate to the saner, more competent parent.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is what you are teaching your kids by staying with this bitch. If she's such a shitty mother, the kids will be orders of magnitude better off with you. Even if it's 50/50... kids will ALWAYS gravitate to the saner, more competent parent.

Thanks for this; my confidence in my chosen path is soaring.

[–]BlackFire680 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Daddy must be the bad person mommy says he is

This one hits home. For 21 years I told my kids that their mom was a queen in her home, to be respected and listened to. That entire time - unknown to me - she was telling them that I was a controlling, narcissistic, abuser that they should be afraid of. When she cheated and left, of course they believed her! I told them to listen to her! They did!

The kids have largely sorted it out now, but don't make the beta mistakes I did.

[–]Mildly_Sociopathic3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Shut up and read the sidebar

[–]ArticulateSavage2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and for your insightful comment.

I have read the sidebar, numerous times. I'm not sure why I asked anonymous strangers on the Web for advice. I think I was just journaling this and decided to post it. Obviously, my ego is alive and well.

[–]DanG3-1 points0 points  (9 children) | Copy

  • Sounds like you talk to your wife too much and talk to her about too much.
  • Sounds like you need to lift heavy - get more mass and definition.
  • Sounds like you need to fuck your wife harder - caveman.

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I probably do talk to her too much.

My fitness is on point.

Sex is good. Never wanted for sex in my entire life, always had it when and how I wanted it. Nothing will change moving forward from here. Only my partner may.

[–]DanG33 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

You said you wanted respect - from her. It sounds like you chat with her like her girlfriend would - not very masculine, nor exhibiting the characteristics of attractive/Alpha males. Women want and respect that which is difficult to acquire. Be less “easy” with your verbal and intellectual intercourse. Be more “mysterious” - a curiosity.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yep.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It sounds like you chat with her like her girlfriend would - not very masculine

This could very well be true and it bears consideration.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This post is about how she is noticing another super fit guy. You keep telling us your fitness is on point. Post a body shot, no head.

I'm assuming you are telling the truth about your lifts and stats. If you are truthful then fitness is part of your identity and what she did was attack your weakness. That's all it was. And it worked.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

My money is on the above.

Your waffling needs to be looked at.

No more ‘leaking’ your achievement. Let them be discovered.

[–]ArticulateSavage-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Could you please elaborate on 'leaking?'

[–]EveryGodDamnDay1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't talk about it to her. Your acievements are for you, not for her.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Ok Pussy boy

It's just your turn

Repeat after me, I don't give a fuck, I don't give a fuck......

Benefits:

Free Pass, she walks out, you can freely chase new and younger pussy

Ya, it does hurt, for a bit, but so what, get her off the pedestal and lift, diet and game

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't give a fuck, I don't give a fuck......

Thank you for this new mantra.

[–]RelativeJellyfish0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Divorce prior to realizing your earning potential..

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you. I won't really peak for another decade or so, but your advice is sound.

[–]LBEB800 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Sounds like she doesn't add value to your life. Why is she around still?

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like she doesn't add value to your life. Why is she around still?

My fear of the unknown and concern for my children.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

In my experience, sometimes the beta damage is too great to overcome. Starting anew is the only option for self-actualization and happiness.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

In my experience, sometimes the beta damage is too great to overcome.

Nearly five years of implementing my MAP and I still have sooo many beta tells. I suspect that you are right and that I am fighting a battle that I lost eons ago.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Try out gaming a new woman. Establish alpha qualities early with how you treat her (abundance mentality, like a bratty little sister, etc.). You’ll be amazed at how her expectation that you’re an alpha inspires true alpha behavior.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Fake it 'till you make it. Gotcha.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

With a new woman. Even if it’s just a catch and release scenario. Blank slate.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nearly five years of implementing my MAP and I still have sooo many beta tells.

You have been at this for 5 years, you KNOW you still have beta shit you have allowed yourself to not deal with. You are posting on a forum TALKING about change, in particular changing our/your beta ways.

So basically your WORDS are not matching your ACTIONS.

Please verify that you still have a penis or your clittoris is sufficiently enlarged enough, because your behaving like a woman.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

tame lion syndrome

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Read you article. It was fantastic and describes me to a 'T.' I'm the lazy lion who needs to walk out.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm the lazy lion who needs to walk out

not sure you got the point. the lion doesn't need to walk out. the lion needs to be stepping out and getting his own meals in order to keep the lion tamer busy trying to tame him. that means cheating. your wife doesn't think you're a challenge. dumping/divorcing her isn't a BAD idea, but just remember for the next one: women value promiscuity in men. that doesn't change after they marry them. you should have plates now, then, and always

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Were you at a crawfish party this weekend?

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I'm not sure what you mean. You are one of the guys I was hoping to hear from. Your advice is solid as a rock.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I just wrote about my weekend this morning.

Might want to sit down before you read it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/8hobll/fr_one_party_two_women/

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Thanks, Red,

I just read your post and this was my key takeaway:

The hard fact to face is that if you are in a dead bedroom, or you are with a woman on the first date and you can’t f-close then you simply are not attractive enough. And ensuring we are attractive is why we are all here.

I'm not attractive enough. I get IOIs from women but not to the point that I'm smashing them while their husbands are in the yard. Your point about hypergamy and how easy it is for women to cheat was illustrative and I thank you. I think I will do a cycle. It would be my first ever.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Remember - "attractive" is not always physical.

For us in a marriage/LTR "attractive" is both physical and mental for them as well.

My wife doesn't "beg" for my come like Shelly does, as an example. I still fuck them both the same way, but even my wife gets used to me.

However, what you do describe in your post is beyond anything I have ever personally experiance. If my wife did something like that I would probably go get the guy, bring him to her, introduce him and say something to the effect of:

"My wife thinks you are hot and wants to fuck you. I am personally tired of fucking her, so have at it."

I would nuke the whole fucking thing right there and then with her.

If you are serious about doing a cycle, then go HERE and read up on the beginner cycle.

Edit:

I am not going to lie. I am obsessed with the male body - no homo. I lift - alot. I am around meaty gym bros - alot. I see nothing wrong with my wife saying - whoa that guy is hot check out his arms. No different that me telling her to check out a womans pair of tits or ass.

However, to obsess about another man - especially in a group a people is so far out of the realm of acceptable behavior for a married woman - I cant even fathom it. A bunch of single women? Sure. Does a tree make a sounds when it falls in the woods type of deal.

I wasnt there, and obviously do not know what is said. Your only play now is to STFU on it. My story illustrate that it doesnt matter what you say, she will do/say whatever she wants.

Next time it happens thou, I would be prepared to get him and introduce the two of them as I suggest. Sitting her down and telling her "no" isnt going to solve anything.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Next time it happens thou,

There will be no "next time." I have contacted several attorneys and will be interviewing them this week. A follow up post is in the works describing my "go plan."

[–]pridebrah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, I'm sure there's some things you could tighten up with your MAP and game, but this chick doesn't even sound worth the time. 36 year old disrespectful, smoking chick that makes you do all the work and sucks as a mother? What's the catch? What is your reason for even wanting to stay with this woman?

That's the base of the problem here. Sometimes you can make yourself into Brad Pitt only to realize the woman by your side isn't worth your time.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your wife is dreading you and it's working. Pussy.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You apparently have no dread game at all. Sidebar is great and all. But DREAD I can't stress this enough. A woman must not feel, but know in every part of her being, you are sexually attracted to other women, and could fuck a good portion of them that are a lot hotter than her, any time you want. You need to have young attractive women responding warmly to your advances and vying for your attention WHILE YOUR WIFE IS PRESENT. She needs to know in her core that she isn't as young and sexy as the women you could be fucking right now. That she's replaceable with a younger hotter model the instant you view it as a good idea. Then maybe she'll work on her attitude so she doesn't get NEXTed for some 20 something IHOP waitress that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Well.

there is are dread levels. The process is well laid out. A lot of men have success. Some don't.

Some don't even bother. Some flip that switch in their head immediately and realize....fuck that bitch.

The doors are there for you to decide. You have to choose exactly how far this line is that she crossed. Red Pill or not. There are some lines that just can't be uncrossed.

As for me? She'd be my sparring partner until it was time to leave. Disloyalty on that scale is unacceptable.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Disloyalty on that scale is unacceptable.

That's where I'm at.

[–]alpha-zach0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Women don’t fixated on individual traits, generally, unless the difference is massive. Then it’s just the grass is greener.

You should know that he has issues with certain things that you are massively better at. She prob does too. You’re rich, he’s poor, you’re confident he’s not.

I agree this is disrespectful. Treat it like a shit test. Ignore. Or AA. AA would be applying dread like someone else suggested.

Put her in her place, but never explain how or why you did it. You’ll just invite an argument and she’ll win because she isn’t logical.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I agree this is disrespectful. Treat it like a shit test.

It's beyond being a shit test. It is contempt.

[–]alpha-zach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like you want a divorce.

I’d suggest dread first. There’d be no sweeter victory than putting her in her place, winning, keeping a submissive vag, and taking care of your kids.

But if it doesn’t work, whatevs. Next.

[–]TheRevFromMesa-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

No longer married, I nexted the ex (size 16, couldn't get on board with the "new me"), so admin, please delete as needed. I spent nearly a year in monk mode, eat so healthy my doc had to redo my cholesterol as she didn't believe it, down from 143 to 46 triglycerides in a year. Exercising daily, no heavy lifting yet, but boxing, cardio, and bodyweight for now. My life now, I (44) have a smoke show 34 year old size 1 over nightly. She's everything the ex wasn't, thin, eats right, loves to satisfy me (I won't lie, I'm still getting used to this after a year off and 5 plus of not touching me). She seriously wants me to be happy and understands me walking away to do what I need to for me.

Brother, you do you. I'd agree with the guys telling you to A&A and push her that direction. If she swings to another branch, she does, be damned. Lawyer up and fix you. We're all broken, just to varying degrees. Identify your issues and target harden for next time. She'll probably be younger and hotter and you'll need the extra gas in the tank.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

She seriously wants me to be happy and understands me walking away to do what I need to for me.

This is seriously inspirational for me.

Identify your issues and target harden for next time.

Once I get through this branch of hell this advice of yours will be my focus.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

She seriously wants me to be happy and understands me walking away to do what I need to for me.

This is seriously inspirational for me

Then you have learned nothing.

The guy is fucking a woman 10 years younger and you are impressed about how a woman feeeeeelllz.

What the fuck man.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

1/6 that's how many of your comments were insightful.

Then you have learned nothing.

You're correct on this.

[–]plein_old-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Another way to look at it is... where do you think your wife learned her behavior from?

Some guys like to think they are like a "captain", navigating difficult waters and guiding their wife and family into the proper directions.

Then sometimes they will say "Goddamn it, my wife did XYZ yesterday. I secretly do that shit all the time but it infuriates me to see my wife do it."

You mentioned "policies". Often people, especially women, seem to follow examples and role models far more than they follow words or rules or policies. So who are your wife's role models and what kind of example are you setting for her?

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Another way to look at it is... where do you think your wife learned her behavior from?

So who are your wife's role models and what kind of example are you setting for her?

Earlier in the evening we did have a discussion where I voiced the opinion that actresses from the fifties were more attractive in general than their counterparts. Still, I don't see how this warrants a ten minute praise session for an acquaintance of ours.

[–]plein_old1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe your wife is just testing you a bit?

A woman who tests her man all day, every day is insane. She is mentally ill, possibly with BPD or something similar.

But a woman who tests her man once every month or two, by saying something offensive, or irrational, or mean... maybe she needs to do this to make sure her man is reliable and won't throw a fit or collapse when something goes wrong?

Imagine if you were a woman. And let's say you're with a man, and you get pregnant. You better damn well know that you can count on your man, otherwise you are up shit creek. Women need more security than men, I think. And they need to know it in their bones.

Imagine a man who announces a divorce with his wife, and when asked why he was divorcing her, he says it was because she hurt his feelings for 10 minutes... what sort of man is that? Some people will say that that is a strong man, someone who doesn't put up with disrespect! Other people might say something different, that he is someone who folds easily, who needs to be treated with kid gloves, etc.



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