714,030 posts

FR: The princess is no longer in another castle...

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May 4, 2018
23 upvotes

I've posted here a few times on my situation - my marriage was pretty much fucked. Wife hated me, resented me, was actively looking for a divorce, openly attending open houses, etc. I had hired a lawyer to draw up papers, had my house appraised and started an application to refinance to buy her out.

That being said I was loving my life, great hobbies, lifts all going up in the gym, killing it at work, cleaned up my diet so I was finally below 10% BF, veins popping out of my arms, solid six pack, kids telling me I'm the best dad in the world, got challenged by DangG3 to find another chick to fuck so I was gaming women hard - I was prepared to be single.

I finally closed the deal on a plate and in no less than 24 hours my fucking wife who had been sleeping on the couch for 2 months was in my bed saying she just needed a good nights rest LOL sure okay. I wasn't going to miss the opportunity to have some fun so I started escalating, what was she going to do divorce me. Wife shit tested me for a good 20 mins including tons of LMR, I got the I don't even know who you are, I don't know what you want in life, you go out with all these people I don't know, you don't care what I think, you are a fucking asshole, etc. For the first time, AA/AM came naturally to me, at one point she was bitching about something and I responded and she burst out laughing - I don't even know what I said. The entire time I was thinking she is still staying in bed if she was pissed she would get up - watch her actions not her words. After she called me an asshole I was like yep I'm one damn hot asshole so you know what you should just shut your mouth, take your clothes off and fucking come kiss me because I know you are dripping wet - I got the "see told you that you were an asshole" so I grab her by the hair and pull her to me and proceed to caveman the fuck out of her.

I assumed she wasn't coming along and maybe she still isn't - I personally don't care either way. I was just posting because I was surprised that MRP apparently works in all situations to build desire - fucking AWALT. The best part is IDGAF - hot sex is a baseline for me and the first thing I thought when it was over was hmmm not sure that's enough sweetie the plate I fucked was better and 10 years younger - what else do you got?


Post Information
Title FR: The princess is no longer in another castle...
Author hack3ge
Upvotes 23
Comments 60
Date 04 May 2018 08:41 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204538
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8h2flz/fr_the_princess_is_no_longer_in_another_castle/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
AWALTlast minute resistanceplateshit test
Comments

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (18 children) | Copy

AA/AM came naturally to me

You were expecting to lose everything so you didn't actually care how she felt. IDGAF makes AM easy. Here's the hard part. If this relationship recovers, and that's a big if, you have to maintain that frame of burning down the relationship is no big thing, that IDGAF frame, even if it does become again something you value.

If you don't you'll just slip right back into beta-mode under her manipulation.

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret6 points7 points  (17 children) | Copy

So glad to see you, there’s the door. Thats the bases for all power in a relationship.

Abundance is the willingness to loses something of value without losing frame. Your speaking about maintaining frame but what your saying is slipping backwards into betadom.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (16 children) | Copy

Abundance is the willingness to loses something of value without losing frame. Your speaking about

Actually what I said was

you have to maintain that frame of burning down the relationship is no big thing, that IDGAF frame, even if it does become again something you value.

Which seems to me to be saying the exact same thing.

[–]hack3ge[S] 2 points3 points  (15 children) | Copy

There’s a small nuance I think - you shouldn’t have to maintain your frame it just is. I will never value my relationship over myself ever again hence I’ll never have to maintain frame even if she comes around.

I think the other nuance is she needs to operate in your frame - that’s about to be what happens tonight for me. I will lay out my course for our ship and offer her the first officer role where I know she will live a happy and fulfilled life. Also we are going to have some seriously hot sex lol.

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Boom! The difference between faking and making.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy

you shouldn’t have to maintain your frame it just is.

Well I've always viewed frame as both external and internal, a full paradigm shift if you will. I often think that whomever made up the term "frame" for red pill simply didn't know the word "Paradigm" existed.

I will never value my relationship over myself ever again hence I’ll never have to maintain frame even if she comes around.

Your frame is "never value my relationship over myself" and you do have to maintain that.

My frame is "The best way to protect my marriage is a true willingness to destroy it" and I have to maintain that my paradigm. This leaves me free to value the marriage as much as I want while not hampering my IDGAF approach to maintaining the power structure in it.

she needs to operate in your frame

Ultimately she gets to choose the frame she wants to use. However, you can make operating in your frame a necessity for interacting with you.

that’s about to be what happens tonight for me.

Brag brag brag. I'm glad your sex life is satisfying. Mine's doing fantastic too, thanks for asking.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I often think that whomever made up the term "frame" for red pill simply didn't know the word "Paradigm" existed.

Congratulations for demonstrating lack of understanding in just one sentence.

My frame covert contract is "The best way to protect my marriage is a true willingness to destroy it"

FTFY.

[–]hack3ge[S] 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy

Lol I was merely trying to help you see a possible small gap in your understanding and maybe a little more work you need to do. Just a guy on the internet - take it or leave it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

Retrospectively the advice is generally sound. Most men don't have the courage to destroy something they truly love. So "Don't value it so much you can't wreck it" becomes more achievable for the average man than "You need to be willing and able to wreck it no matter how much you value it"

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

You need to be willing and able to wreck it no matter how much you value it

This is a possible reaction, this is, if this then that, its not IDGAF.

Live your life true to your core values without comprise, without concern for outcome. Then there is nothing to destroy. She either takes the ride or gets off at the next stop. All the while you’ve done nothing different.

[–]hack3ge[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This second part is a much more eloquent way of explaining what I was saying. I know how I am going to live my life - it’s like the face on the woman in your life is blurred or even further and closer to how I see it there isn’t even a woman there (maybe a little too mgtow for mrp).

It’s the difference between knowing the path and walking the path.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

its not IDGAF.

You need to able to act indifferently to explicit and implied threats made by your spouse up to and including divorce.

I’m not sure how you are missing this. My marriage is not my wife. I can NGAF about her frame, and sentiments, dread the shit out of her, piss her off deliberately, make her miserable all day long if need be, and act toward her with a complete indifference all while highly valuing my marriage and making sacrifices for it. Caring about my marriage doesn’t mean I have give a shit about my wife’s moods or opinions.

Typical response. “But if she threatens divorce” then let her. The marriage is already gone, she’s just filling out the paperwork.

Live your life true to your core values without comprise

My core values include marriage. Otherwise I would have never gotten into this resource sucking highly risky venture. Anyone who did get into marriage and it wasn’t a core value is stupid. Really REALLY stupid.

Then there is nothing to destroy.

If there is nothing. Then end it. Objectively speaking marriage costs a lot of money, time, and other resources. So if it is objectively “nothing” then end it to stem the loss of resources. That’s the only logical thing to do. If you don’t you're either acting irrationally, or lying to yourself when you say the marriage is nothing.

She either takes the ride or gets off at the next stop.

I agree. And think this is sequitur with my thinking.

All the while you’ve done nothing different.

Well I certainly have. I’ve been a husband and father instead of a mad PUA. There are a whole slew of major life decisions I’ve made differently.

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

> You need to able to act indifferently

No you just need to be truly indifferent. In your first comment you referenced "The hardest part" being keeping an IDGAF attitude when she becomes of value again... What do you think? Is this true abundance and NGAF or is this a way of protecting something?

I don't think you should have to act indifferently towards threats. My wife makes no threats because I make no bluffs. You can engage bad behavior on your terms if you have strong frame. Be indifferent to outcome not to shitty behavior.

Actually I think indifference is not the correct attitude in itself. I have outcomes I'd prefer, but I'm okay and my life is good regardless. Being indifferent will often lead to lack of purpose, your defining her purpose in your life. Not doing do so will leave her rudderless.

> My core values include marriage. Otherwise I would have never gotten into this resource sucking highly risky venture

Do I need to point out the negativity here? If this is your interpretation of marriage why is it worth "protecting", as core value what do you value about it? Staying for the kids huh? Risk, resources... lack of abundance?

> If there is nothing. Then end it.

Completely missed my point. I'm not saying marriage has no value, so there's nothing to destroy. The idea of taking a destructive action to it is wrong. You're living wth your finger over the launch button. I'm saying get moving and force her to keep up.

> I’ve been a husband and father instead of a mad PUA. There are a whole slew of major life decisions I’ve made differently.

This sounds like regret but again not my point. I'm saying that, while the relationship may fall apart in the process of you moving forward. All your energy is spent constructively building yourself, the marriage may be destroyed but that is not the result of you "wrecking" it. You are only doing whats best for you and the marriage is or is not part of that.

I smell anger phase all over you bro.

> whomever made up the term "frame" for red pill simply didn't know the word "Paradigm" existed

and don't be this guy ^ this guy's ego makes him sound like a fool.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I'm really really stupid.

[–]hack3ge[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s possible my perspective is slightly different because I literally internalized that my marriage was over and moved on. I could serve her papers tomorrow and have no impact to my mental state or happiness. I’m actually finding the situation more entertaining than anything else.

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything - TD

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Paradigm

you might want to check that definition again

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like a lifetime movie I saw last night.

Great job.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret6 points7 points  (20 children) | Copy

everyone read below- this is living and operating in your frame

"I wasn't going to miss the opportunity to have some fun so I started escalating...."

Amen brother, amen

unfortunately, most, who refuse to do the work, will still ask mama if she wants "sexy time"

and, for the fucktard that is wondering LMR read

[–]hack3ge[S] 2 points3 points  (18 children) | Copy

Haha just got a text from the wife - “I want to be happy, I love the kids, but things need to change.”

LOL she needs to be my slut and I’ll think about keeping her around. Things have changed and now she knows what she’s losing. It will be interesting to see if it’s a comfort test or a shit test when she gets home. My guess is shit test unless I have drastically underestimated my dread level.

This woman is hilarious if she thinks fucking me once is going to give her the power to change me. I’m the fucking man and she could only be so lucky for me to stay with her.

My response “See you when you get home babe.”

[–]hack3ge[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

I’m sensing the fuck me or fuck you conversation is about to happen. I guess I cheated so didn’t realize I was at dread level 10.

[–]crimson_chris4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

u/hack3ge - you say you don't care, but you do. Your whole post is about the changes you have made.....to get your wife to fuck you. She still would not fuck you, so you found a woman who knows nothing about you to fuck. And you got your validation.

Morally I DNGAF. So yeah. Some chick who has not had to deal with your sorry ass (based on your SO choosing to sleep on the couch) decided to fuck you. Now you have the confidence to stand up to your wife?

Why did your wife hate and resent you? How have you become a better man? You wife not fucking you is just feedback. What have you learned from someone who probably knows you better than anyone else? I guess hour new found confidence got her wet?

IMO, you are still deep in her frame. Not trying to burst your bubble, but you are a little to elated that your wife fucked you. How high up is that pedalstool?

[–]hack3ge[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Shots across the bow are welcome.

My frame is solid but I do appreciate it.

[–]crimson_chris1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

So you have been at this (MRP) for 3-4 months and you are already stepping out? If you are such a great guy now why is your wife only reluctantly fucking you?

You start off this post about how your marriage was fucked and how your wife resented you. That sounds like a victim speaking to me. That is not the language of a man with frame. You were just living in a world that you created. I will say there was some larping in the rest of your post that sounds like DNGAF/OI.

Look. There is a fine line between viewing sex as an indicator of progress and seeing sex as a source of validation. I'd just challenge you to reflect on that. I am not trying to bust your chops. Enjoy the "atta boys" you are getting, but think about reevaluating your frame based on the language in your post.

[–]hack3ge[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fair assessment - the backstory was purely just a reference for the FR but I can see how you would look at that as victim puke.

I’m well aware of the world I created and know she is merely a mirror of the beta bitch me. The sex with the wife didn’t do anything for me in the way of validation, now after some introspection the plate sex may have had a touch of that to it.

DanG3 has challenged me to prove I had what it takes so that was driving me but I do now see that some of it was me seeking to know the work I had done to be attractive was real. Thanks for this insight.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

“I want to be happy, I love the kids, but things need to change.”

Ok...... how about you dump the "cuntiness..."

[–]DanG30 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Like this! Hack, have it at the ready once you get past the current plateau.

[–]DanG31 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy

“I want to be happy, I love the kids, but things need to change.”

Translation: ‘I have no f’n idea what the fuck is going on, but gimme more of that thang.’

[–]hack3ge[S] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

This was my thought exactly - sounds very main event like.

[–]DanG30 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Hardly! You ain’t seen no Main Event yet. Me thinks Princess says, “Watcha got Big Boy?!”

[–]BobbyPeru3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Me thinks Princess says, “Watcha got Big Boy?!”

Kind of... she’s testing his frame to see if he will DEER it and try to get her validation. She knows OP lives for her validation.

It’s kind of a subtle ultimatum without specifics also, but if he DEERs, the specifics will come in waves

All he has to do is say, “if you don’t like it, the door is right there.”

Rinse, repeat = more wet panties if he pulls it off.

Sometimes less is more.

[–]hack3ge[S] -1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

Should make for a fun evening then at least - who wants popcorn.

[–]DanG30 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Pics, or everything is bull shit!

[–]hack3ge[S] -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

Live stream pay per view event?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

for starfish... no thanks

[–]DanG30 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You’ve got no cred for that.

[–]hack3ge[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Touché

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

“See you when you get home babe.”

home huh?? whose?

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

will still ask mama if she wants "sexy time"

Old days: "Hey babe, want a massage?"

These days: "Are the barn doors open?" "huh?" "Well, they had better be" "What barn, what are you talking about?" "The barn doors had better be open, cause I'm about to fuck you till the cows come home." Commence the fucking

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"I personally didn't care either way"

This is the right frame of mind to be in.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nice.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I didn’t see your other reports, but be aware that getting some sex at this point in your journey doesn’t change the main issues in your marriage. My wife was similarly low value, low SMV, not adding to my life, but she was fucking my brains out on the regular. At the point I divorced her, I’m not sure I’d had a hard no in over a decade. But sex is only on aspect of a healthy life and she was near zero in any other category. So I practiced what I needed to on her and pulled the cord. I much prefer my younger GF.
Just keep your eye on the ball.

[–]hack3ge[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Amen bro - stay plan is the go plan.

My wife is actually in pretty good shape - she needs some leadership in the fitness / diet area which I will provide if she decides to get on the ship. She right now just finger fucks her phone but to be honest that’s a lack of leadership on my part the past 5 years and her rope not being taut yet. I suspect that is about to change.

There was a post that said look at an area of life that your wife is passionate about and if she excels in it then you know she has the capacity. My wife is a VP of Finance at a tech company - when she applies herself she does well. I can lead her in the areas I think she needs to improve on in order to add value to my life. I can’t say whether or not she is willing to change but I can try and lead her.

I appreciate the warning though as it sometimes easy to lose sight of the real possibilities once you unplug. I’m literally a top 5% man, I have money, status and the physical physique - I know what type of prize I am.

TBH I may keep her and spin plates - no reason to not have sex with hot 20 somethings and keep my wife so my kids have a mom. Plus she is very presentable in corporate America and adds credibility to me at work functions.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

TBH I may keep her and spin plates - no reason to not have sex with hot 20 somethings and keep my wife so my kids have a mom. Plus she is very presentable in corporate America and adds credibility to me at work functions.

Cheating puts you in a vulnerable position. Just above this you mentioned that you are a 5% man and you have money. If she's a corporate type A person she might use the levers of power to ruin you.

If you have lots to lose and you LOVE your life right now think about trying to end it amicably. If you can.

There was a wicked post on the Mrp main sub about how to divorce your wife. It's really good.

Pissing her off might cost you a hundred thousand bucks you could spend somewhere else. Like a sick as car.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Eyes wide open. FWIW, a man’s life cannot grow to what it should be wit dead weight around. I had a Hall Pass for years w/ my ex and we even had regular threesomes w/ younger chicks we picked up at lounges or functions. As I look back now, being post divorce, on top physical fitness, and dating a much younger HB8, the phrase “if she isn’t adding to your life, she’s subtracting from it, is absolutely true.
Weather the storm.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

my marriage was pretty much fucked.

I wasn't going to miss the opportunity to have some fun

Whats your plan here, exactly? Does your county treat fucking as a reconciliation? Are you looking to?

[–]hack3ge[S] 1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

Good question - right now plan is to fuck her and enjoy myself while I figure out what I really want.

We aren't actually divorced and the paperwork was never filed - she couldn't even say the word divorce so it was on me to kill the puppy and I hadn't yet gotten to the point of filing yet. I think I have 4 months on the house appraisal to refinance so I've got an artificial deadline.

That being said I've gotten one hard no in the last 6 days and she is letting me push the envelope and dominate her. She is a high power person in the corporate world but I think she wants to be able to relax and be submissive privately which is probably why she is so resentful of me for not stepping up as a man.

If I decide to stay maybe I'll have the lawyer finish the paperwork anyway and keep it in a binder on my bookshelf as a reminder to her.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Only suggestion I would make is to figure it out, and make sure you're not sabotaging what you decide.

If you're in a county with 12 month separation requirements, each fuck resets the clock. That and a womans best manipulation is ego. Now I've seen too much crap in here not to have the assumption of manipulation and incompetence, so take this with a grain of salt (I know you will)

I know some of the hardcore suggestions were to demote the wife to a plate, I wish I could remember more usernames to network everyone to discuss specific strategy.

[–]hack3ge[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Thanks for the heads up - fucking doesn't reset anything here thankfully. I could file tomorrow and there is a 60 day waiting period if she agrees and if she doesn't it goes to 120 days. There's no alimony or child support on the table so IDGAF really either way - I'm definitely not getting divorce raped.

I honestly don't know what caused her 180 there are a few possibilities- she definitely doesn't know about the plate but maybe she could sense it, she could have freaked out because I told her if she wanted a divorce I'd take care of it and make it quick or the last 6 weeks I've really put my diet on point and dropped from like 12% BF to probably about 8% maybe it induced tingles.

Its definitely possible its a stall tactic because shes not quite ready to kill the puppy - if that's the case cool by me I got some extra sparring in and fucked a bunch.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Just don't lose it over a whiff man

good luck

[–]hack3ge[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Not sure if you are clairvoyant or AMALT - but you had me pegged. I lost progress over a whiff - it wasn’t the BF % that was attractive it was all mental. The fact that I had given up on worrying about her and was living for myself.

Back to work for me this time but important lesson learned - feels like noob gains are over and here comes the hard mode part. No more dancing monkey for me.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Because I read. All of us follow very similar patterns. There's maybe 6 archetypes of men, it becomes rediculously easy to spot the trends after enough field reports and success/failure stories.

[–]BillyRedRocks0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Do you have anything more about those archetypes? Might be helpful in preventing severe "stepping on your own dick" syndrome.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Just know them when people type them. Nothing hard scripted

[–]hack3ge[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would argue even if you posted them I would still have fell flat on my face. This lesson was one that I needed to learn and needed it to be the hard way.

The juice is never worth the squeeze....

[–]mollieflower0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

OH wow. So your response to getting challenged on fucking around (With someone ten years younger than you? PLEASE tell me you're at least 30!) is to straight up rape your wife.

I hope she leaves you, and fast.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Love the attitude in the text. It screams alpha bro. If only you could bottle it to sell...

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

I thought when it was over was hmmm not sure that's enough sweetie the plate I fucked was better and 10 years younger - what else do you got?

you should have said this

[–]hack3ge[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Haha - I've been saying things that there's no way I should be able to get away with and just laughing my ass off so its possible I could have even gotten away with it. She gets huffy and then 10 minutes later is smiling and happy or on my dick.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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