Fuck. This will probably be a rant, and although i'm starting to learn MRP, i'm sure i'll use the wrong terminology. I'd apologize, but fuck that.
I've never considered myself a beta.
- I have a great career and continuously work to advance myself
- I'm a triathlete who can bench 275 and squat 400 (6'. 210lbs)
- I aggressively defend my position in life, and my family and kids from all possible threats
- I'm a firefighter
I've been married 11 years, have 2 toddlers (5 and 2).
Relationship with my wife has dropped to basically roommate status since the birth of our 2nd kid. she put on a bunch of weight during the 2nd pregnancy (some of it is definitely in the right places though...) She had a very rough delivery, and so things were stopped for a couple months, and never really recovered.
Sex has become mostly boring, with just enough small batches of really good to keep me interested.
Most times, it's no foreplay, no real kissing, just some light hand action, then one of us climbs on top. She cums 80% of the time (or fakes it, who the fuck knows...)
There are times where it starts out that way, and gets really good though. Sometimes it's me going caveman, and honestly, sometimes it's her. That's maybe once every 2 months or so, and it's great. I haven't been able to pin down the reasons, or recreate it on demand.
Lately, it's gotten a ton fucking worse. We got rid of the kids for a wedding weekend, and had sex ONCE. One fucking quick boring starfish fuck with 0 kids in the house for 2 and a half days.
To my credit (maybe? fuck, I dunno) , I did turn down shitty starfish sex the next morning. She got out of the shower, and I tried going down on her and was telling her about how I wanted to toss her around, and she told me to get the lube and hurry up because she wanted to make sure we picked the kids up early. I noped the fuck out of there and left her naked in bed. Not sure if that's a good strategy or not.
Of course, I then tried to initiate again, this morning before we got the kids up and got shot down again because - are you ready for it? - she wanted to make sure she had enough time to wash and dry her hair.
Well, fuck me. that broke the camel's back. I've been reading deadbedrooms and mrp for a little while, because something has felt really off, but sex is more consistent, and occasionally better than most people, so I kept denying I fit in. No denying it now.
I don't know where to start. Any immediate red flags? I just started Rational Male on Audible, but I need more help.