First post here. Early 30's male with two young kids and wife a couple years younger than me. Been married 5 years.
I've keto'd down from 240 to 200, started last December. Currently 30% body fat. Goal is 200 pounds 12% body fat. Averaging 1,400 calories per day and not hungry for more. Going to stick to keto for probably my entire life but definitely until I hit that goal. Doing a cheat day every other week.
I've found I do well with systematic approaches vs. just free-form winging it. Are there any apps that can tell me exactly what I need to do in the gym each visit? I got a membership after putting the pill in my mouth in January. Been going 2-4 days per week and have been doing 7-8 different machines and tracking how much weight and how many sets, reps, and perceived difficulty (e.g., Lat Pull-down, Weight: 130, Sets: 3, Reps: 10, Difficulty: 9). If I am dedicated and get to them gym 3 days per week on average how far away would you estimate I am from my goal? Hoping to hit it by the end of the year. I have no clue how easy or hard it is to put on lean body mass.
Some background on me:
I literally feel like my eyes have been opened since discovering the red pill in January. I lost my religion in my twenties but I would say losing the idealized dream of having an equal partner was even harder. Maybe unicorns exist but they are such a rare spawn that it is best to write off the odds of finding one. Captain/First Officer sounds pretty good but it is going to take a lot of work for me to get that going. I have also accepted it may not be possible to change the dynamic of the relationship given the frame I entered the relationship with. I've set minimum standards for my life and if I don't hit those standards by 2019 I'll have to make some tough decisions.
I found you guys after googling "what do you do if your wife hates you?" The answers were dog shit, and I knew it because I had been doing all of them aggressively (surprise gifts, notes around the house, planned dates, helping more with kids). I decided at the start of this year I was going to give my marriage as much energy and mental thought as I give my business. I determined the best key performance indicator for a successful marriage was frequency of bi-directional passionate sex. Not sure if this is the best metric but at least it was a start. Tracking the metric seemed to magnify the horror of my situation. I started studying how to fix a sexless marriage and found a girl giving a TED talk on how girls were turned on by dominance, aggression, and naughtiness. I complained to a close friend "how can I dominate my wife when I have no leverage?" This is when he pulled me out of the goo and ripped the cord out of the back of my neck.
I had no clue why my wife was always so angry and upset with me. None of the reasons she gave me were very actionable and the ones that were (choreplay) had no effect. It's shocking how red pill ideals are both common sense and counter-intuitive. I became a multi-millionaire a few years ago. My blue pill self thought being rich would make my wife want to throw herself all over me. Unfortunately for me, I put too many points into making it rain and almost zero points into making myself fuckable.
It's also quite shocking to me that my relationship has actually gotten much worse as I have lost weight. More shit tests and resentment than ever, and I'm in the best shape I have been since she has known me. My demeanor hasn't changed much as I have been very careful to try and not go red pill rambo. I think I'm passing these shit tests but I'm still such a fucking rookie.
When I get super sad about the state of my relationship I start reading all of your posts and it changes my feeling of hopeless powerlessness into a feeling of empowerment that I can make the changes I need to improve my life. Thank you all. I'm looking forward going into 2019 a much better man.