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How can I be most effective in the gym starting from nothing?

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April 7, 2018
9 upvotes

First post here. Early 30's male with two young kids and wife a couple years younger than me. Been married 5 years.

I've keto'd down from 240 to 200, started last December. Currently 30% body fat. Goal is 200 pounds 12% body fat. Averaging 1,400 calories per day and not hungry for more. Going to stick to keto for probably my entire life but definitely until I hit that goal. Doing a cheat day every other week.

I've found I do well with systematic approaches vs. just free-form winging it. Are there any apps that can tell me exactly what I need to do in the gym each visit? I got a membership after putting the pill in my mouth in January. Been going 2-4 days per week and have been doing 7-8 different machines and tracking how much weight and how many sets, reps, and perceived difficulty (e.g., Lat Pull-down, Weight: 130, Sets: 3, Reps: 10, Difficulty: 9). If I am dedicated and get to them gym 3 days per week on average how far away would you estimate I am from my goal? Hoping to hit it by the end of the year. I have no clue how easy or hard it is to put on lean body mass.

Some background on me:

I literally feel like my eyes have been opened since discovering the red pill in January. I lost my religion in my twenties but I would say losing the idealized dream of having an equal partner was even harder. Maybe unicorns exist but they are such a rare spawn that it is best to write off the odds of finding one. Captain/First Officer sounds pretty good but it is going to take a lot of work for me to get that going. I have also accepted it may not be possible to change the dynamic of the relationship given the frame I entered the relationship with. I've set minimum standards for my life and if I don't hit those standards by 2019 I'll have to make some tough decisions.

I found you guys after googling "what do you do if your wife hates you?" The answers were dog shit, and I knew it because I had been doing all of them aggressively (surprise gifts, notes around the house, planned dates, helping more with kids). I decided at the start of this year I was going to give my marriage as much energy and mental thought as I give my business. I determined the best key performance indicator for a successful marriage was frequency of bi-directional passionate sex. Not sure if this is the best metric but at least it was a start. Tracking the metric seemed to magnify the horror of my situation. I started studying how to fix a sexless marriage and found a girl giving a TED talk on how girls were turned on by dominance, aggression, and naughtiness. I complained to a close friend "how can I dominate my wife when I have no leverage?" This is when he pulled me out of the goo and ripped the cord out of the back of my neck.

I had no clue why my wife was always so angry and upset with me. None of the reasons she gave me were very actionable and the ones that were (choreplay) had no effect. It's shocking how red pill ideals are both common sense and counter-intuitive. I became a multi-millionaire a few years ago. My blue pill self thought being rich would make my wife want to throw herself all over me. Unfortunately for me, I put too many points into making it rain and almost zero points into making myself fuckable.

It's also quite shocking to me that my relationship has actually gotten much worse as I have lost weight. More shit tests and resentment than ever, and I'm in the best shape I have been since she has known me. My demeanor hasn't changed much as I have been very careful to try and not go red pill rambo. I think I'm passing these shit tests but I'm still such a fucking rookie.

When I get super sad about the state of my relationship I start reading all of your posts and it changes my feeling of hopeless powerlessness into a feeling of empowerment that I can make the changes I need to improve my life. Thank you all. I'm looking forward going into 2019 a much better man.


Post Information
Title How can I be most effective in the gym starting from nothing?
Author pursuing_the_ideal
Upvotes 9
Comments 50
Date 07 April 2018 03:41 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204651
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8afj86/how_can_i_be_most_effective_in_the_gym_starting/
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Comments

[–]croctearsforfears11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy

5X5 StrongLifts. Easy to use app.

[–]johneyapocalypse10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

Stronglifts are peachy but OP needs to stop saying shit like this:

I determined the best key performance indicator for a successful marriage was frequency of bi-directional passionate sex.

I can look like Thor but if I talk like a retarded robot it won't matter much.

When I get super sad

Sad robots are even worse.

[–]FatFingerHelperBot0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It seems that your comment contains 1 or more links that are hard to tap for mobile users. I will extend those so they're easier for our sausage fingers to click!

Here is link number 1 - Previous text "OP"


Please PM /u/eganwall with issues or feedback! | Delete

[–]rebbit_reddit2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go and lift and your finger won’t be so fat

[–]TxRP4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

The app you need is Stronglifts 5x5, you'll see it mentioned on MRP frequently and it's a good beginner program.

Stop worrying about your wife and concentrate on the sidebar and lifting. "I'm looking forward going into 2019 a much better man." Don't use your wife as a metric of this.. figure out your mission in life, your vision, and compare your progress to that. Your wife will come around.. or she won't, and you decide to move on. Sounds like you had a lot of covert contracts. Get rid of the covert contracts, focus on yourself, and know that this shit doesn't happen overnight and takes time.

[–]Praxis0005 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop doing machines. 5x5 is a good start once you build a frame. Then start sculpting it which higher volume 8x8 Vince Geronda style workout. But for godsakes for now get use to perfecting free weight exercises.

[–]rocknrollchuck3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah, the StrongLifts app is what you need. You'll know when it's time to change to a different routine.

I determined the best key performance indicator for a successful marriage was frequency of bi-directional passionate sex. Not sure if this is the best metric

[–]resolutions3160 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

God damn, I have read both of these threads multiple times. But every time I come back to them I see them differently and take something different away.

[–]CaptJohnLukeDiscard4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

You are a multimillionaire so I’m going to give you some expensive advice that I normally would not give but you can afford it. All of this is focused on the physical aspect to your road to self improvement. I’ll let other guys hit on the mental and social stuff.

First, go find a hardcore gym, NOT A PLANET FITNESS. Go find a musclehead gym where they have monolifts, chains, reverse hypers, etc. It should cater to strongman, powerlifting, and professional bodybuilding guys. Find a trainer there and tell him you want to get jacked and shredded (two different things) ASAP. Don’t accept no for an answer but they will probably train you for $100+ per hour. That’s money well spent because they will keep your form perfect and push you far harder and faster than you will yourself on SL 5x5 (which is still an excellent program for novices).

Second, go to your doc and get T tests. Your T is almost guaranteed to be shit because of terrible lifestyle choices. Keep in mind that the range they tell you about on the tests does not have breakdowns by age or health levels. It is just one pool for guys 18-95 which is bullshit. After you get your tests back and it confirms that being a fatass beta loser lowers your T to atrocious levels, go find a doc that specializes in T. Don’t do a “men’s clinic” because they will try to keep all control. Find a doc in your area that will let you self inject 2x per week and is also willing to look into stuff like AIs to keep E2 levels in check.

Third, get a nutrition plan specific to your needs. Looking good is about 20% genetics, 20% workout, and 60% diet. With your new workout program, your dietary needs will change big time. The best place to find a nutritionist is the meathead gym I mentioned above. Those guys know more about nutrition than 99% of nutritionists. Find out what they do and recommend and THEN FOLLOW THAT SHIT TO A T. You are a fat piece of shit right now and you don’t deserve a “cheat day” until you have visible abs.

Fourth, look into HGH. Don’t get it from the meathead gym because a lot of those guys are willing to skimp on price for stuff that isn’t as good and may have side effects. If you want, you can buy pharma grade for $1,500 per month which is a lot but you are a multimillionaire so it might be worth it. If you won’t do that, you can try something like sermorelin for $130ish per month which will ramp up your natural HGH production. That’s probably the route I would recommend regardless because you can go on and off it as needed without fucking up your normal production chain.

Fifth, understand that each of these things will help but none are a panacea. Until you balance the realization that you are the prize against actually being a prize worth having, your wife won’t change. Even then, she may not because she might be a giant cunt. Who knows? But you will be a better man.

[–]auto-xkcd370 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

fat ass-beta loser lowers


Bleep-bloop, I'm a bot. This comment was inspired by xkcd#37

[–]onewayroute4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Felt like I was reading about myself here.. as for lifting Ive done stronglifts 5x5 over a year and switched to GZCLP, look it up its easy to start, highly effective, and much more dynamic than SL. Keep a copy of the infographic for quick refence and if you have android download Zero to Hero app and select gzclp. Straight forward app that allows you to start with max rep test then it forecast builds all your workouts. Its great for all levels of gym rats whether you wanna workout 3x or 5x a week. SL will turn you into quadzilla but Gzlp will give you them nice boulder shoulders. Also did keto too, cut 60 lbs then moved to 1200isplenty. Welcome

[–]Reject4441 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Quadzilla" literally made me lol and spray my chewed-up lunch all over my computer monitor. Thanks for the laugh but -1 for the cleanup I need to do.

[–]SkidR0we0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Did you manage to bulk on 1200 calories a day? Or were you still cutting at that point?

[–]onewayroute0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I was still cutting at 1200 and was within 15lbs of goal. After hittin that jus went all natty with lean meats and monitoring TDEE on non gym days.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My blue pill self thought being rich would make my wife want to throw herself all over me.

Right there gentlemen. Proof that getting money is not the cure. Sure it's a thing you can change, but...we have a man here who is searching still. I've said many times I have met rich men who want what Red Pill men know.

This said yeah. Ok. I don't believe a word you say.

You still are not doing this for you. Fuck the marriage. Forget her. This isn't about her. This is about you.

My demeanor hasn't changed

and nothing will until you realize this is about you. No one else. Read this post. and understand how your actions will have third and fourth order effects on your world. Yet this is still fundamentally about you.

It was always about you. IN everything you do. Business, life, sex, everything there is one common denominator.

You. Fix that. What she does is her decision.

[–]gameoflibidos2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

"If I am dedicated and get to them gym 3 days per week on average how far away would you estimate I am from my goal? Hoping to hit it by the end of the year. I have no clue how easy or hard it is to put on lean body mass."

This is also a hard pill to chew.... most people (me included) think when they start lifting that if they are dedicated and lift hard, they can look like they are a Spartan in 300 within a year.

Nope. No chance. If you roid up and start stack cycling, yea.. maybe 2 years you can look like you are a spartan. Without roids... first you have to have really good genetics to even have a chance of looking like a Spartan.. (which btw... 200lbs at 11% body fat.. is like a Spartan or trimmed out NFL linebacker) .. If you have the genetics and you train naturally... it'll take upwards of 6-8 years of training to put on enough muscle to be 200lbs and shredded at 6 foot tall.

Without Roids... top tier genetics, a perfect diet and really hard and perfect training will top out at around 1.5 lbs of lean muscle mass per month. So even under these conditions.. no more than 17lbs of lean muscle mass per year. If you leaned out right now to 10% body fat.. you'd probably weight 150lbs or so. So you'd need roughly 50lbs of lean muscle mass to be the 200lb Spartan.

Above average genetics and decent training will put 3/4th to 1 lb of lean muscle mass per month. So it'll take upwards of 50 months. Throw in vacations... occasional drops to let ligaments/joints heal, holidays, etc. It'll take 60 months minimum.

An easier goal is to work down to 15% body fat or so.. putting you around 170lbs likely. That will improve your look significantly... then start doing winter bulk/ summer cut cycles over and over for the next 5 years and you'll slowly build that muscle up.

OR... you can do what all competitive lifters do and pretty much every male fitness model you see on any magazine... or any male actor that looks like they got big super fast for a movie role.... and use steroids to do it. They literally did studies and found that men stacking steroid cycles are actually building more muscle while sitting watching TV while on cycle than someone training hard at the gym naturally.

*disclosure.. I train naturally.. i decided against steroids.. been training for almost 2.5 years now. knowing what I know now.. I don't blame anyone who uses them. I am considering SARMs which is a new thing but the health risks are not well known.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

I was talking to a young guy last night bragging about his lifting Eventually we got to squats - he has never squatted ass to grass. Wow. He’s got a long way to go I thought.

Start with strong lifts 5x5 and load weight wehen you can, challenging your muscles Focus on form.

Then in 6 months jump to [email protected] 10 warmups with 1/2 weight and then 8x8 of all the same lifts. Let me know where you are at then.

Odd days off good for core.

Lots of clean filtered water, whole food and sleep

[–]resolutions3160 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I haven’t either (squatted that way). My calves (or ankles?) Can’t get the angle required without me completely fucking up my back posture.

I’ve been compensating by elevating my ankles slightly (stepping on a 2.5 lb plate), but I really should be incorporating some kind of stretch or something to actually fix the problem.

[–]BigAjax0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I haven’t either (squatted that way). My calves (or ankles?) Can’t get the angle required without me completely fucking up my back posture.

I’ve been compensating by elevating my ankles slightly (stepping on a 2.5 lb plate), but I really should be incorporating some kind of stretch or something to actually fix the problem.

Two things. First, your problem with getting down ATG is probably your hip flexors, not your calves or ankles. Gotta stretch those fuckers out. Tight hip flexors kill ROM for squats (and deadlifts) and leave you susceptible to back injuries. You also end up with shit posture because of imbalances between the flexors, hamstrings, and your back. Start here: https://ruggedfellowsguide.com/fix-your-hip-flexor-mobility/

Secondly, get that fucking plate out from underneath your heel. That's increasing the risk of injury. Pretty sure Wendler or Rippetoe would grab it and throw it at your fucking skull if they saw it.

[–]resolutions3160 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Secondly, get that fucking plate out from underneath your heel. That's increasing the risk of injury. Pretty sure Wendler or Rippetoe would grab it and throw it at your fucking skull if they saw it.

Yeah? It certainly improves my posture during the squat/seems to prevent back rounding, so I always thought of it as injury prevention. What’s the danger?

And thanks very much for the comment, I’ll check out the hip flexor stuff.

[–]BigAjax1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

There's the obvious concerns about it sliding out mid-squat or you tripping over it when racking the weight. Assuming you're not a total spaz, I wouldn't worry too much about those. I know some guys feel like they have better balance with the plates there, while others feel like they're going to tip backwards. The big issue is that it increases knee strain, which negates one of the benefits of deep squats over just going to parallel. Plus it focuses the burden of the weight on the front of your feet, rather than distributing it across your entire feet. That's asking for trouble, either failure mid-squat or injury through built-up effects over time.

[–]resolutions3160 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the detailed explanation! Makes sense

[–]wildnight98MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

You should be looking forward to the rest of 2018. You have no idea how quickly having a plan and working the plan will make you feel so much better about yourself. You are a high achiever already and know how to implement and get things done. You will soon stop calibrating your happiness based on what your wife is doing or not doing.

The best advice I can give you from a similar six-months-in perspective is not to set your expectations that you are going to get your arms around everything all at once. Everybody will tell you it takes time, you'll think you are different, but you aren't. The issue is that there are "levels" of understanding. Or maybe a better metaphor is peeling an onion. Either way, you'll need to master earlier steps to build a platform for the next set of improvements. But each set of mastered tools will be rewarding in its own way and you'll enjoy these victories.

I literally transformed my body doing StrongLifts 5x5 for 6 months and very recently switched to another program. If it's not obvious from the number of endorsements, SL5x5 is the way to go to start. The app makes it SO easy and is a pleasure to use at the gym. Read Mark Rippetoe (Starting Strength) for form. Start light, get your form right, follow the progression. You're going to enjoy "newbie gains" that will make up for feeling like things are going slow. Form is important not just for avoiding injury but also getting the most hypertrophy (muscle building effect) from each movement, i.e. efficiency.

Nutrition is really something that you don't need a lot of guidance on until you get to increasing calories again. You know how to diet (cut) from your post, keep going. I use IF along with CICO (calories in calories out) tracking. Daily protein intake is the driving metric - it took me a while to figure that out. I use a minimum of 1 gram per pound of bodyweight and try to get as many grams as I can from (relatively) lean natural sources. No sugar but otherwise have allowed complex carbs back in (albeit at a lower daily ratio). If you track your daily nutrition using the MyFitnessPal app you can treat yourself like an experiment and see what ratios of the macronutrients produce the best results for you.

FYI I tried the expensive body builder trainer with poor results. Doing it myself is working better. I wasted several thousand on this before I gave up. There are a lot of scammers out there who are lazy as fuck. Your mileage may vary.

When I get super sad about the state of my relationship

This will pass and will be replaced by a steel core of happiness with life that isn't affected by whether your wife is fucking you or even nice to you. Those things will be nice additions to the core but not necessary for you to be happy. You don't see any options now; you will see lots of options within a few months that will put things in perspective even if you don't opt.

Post weekly updates in the OYS thread in /r/marriedredpill and it will be helpful for journaling, giving you a place to observe your own progress, and getting some regular feedback. Also, questions posted in there typically get helpful answers without as much name calling as posts in the main sub.

Good luck!

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Post weekly updates in the OYS thread in /r/marriedredpill and it will be helpful for journaling, giving you a place to observe your own progress, and getting some regular feedback. Also, questions posted in there typically get helpful answers without as much name calling as posts in the main sub.

There's a reason for this. People are posting week-in and week-out in OYS are people actually putting in work. The more you're investing into yourself, the more the regulars at MRP are investing into you. OYS is the only place where any real work gets done.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

“I have also accepted it may not be possible to change the dynamic of the relationship given the frame I entered the relationship with”

Bullshit

“if I don't hit those standards by 2019 I'll have to make some tough decisions.”

Bullshit. You need more time to grow into a man first to learn and internalize the sidebar.

“I decided at the start of this year I was going to give my marriage as much energy and mental thought as I give my business”

Bullshit. Don’t give energy to your marriage faggot, give it to YOURSELF. The problem isn’t the marriage, it’s you. Work through the mindsets and tools to unfuck yourself and all those beta habits. Stop reading mainstream advice, You need to increase your SMV by lifting, developing a happy and cocky personality.

“ it’s quite shocking to me that the relationship has gotten much worse after I lost weight “

Not shocking at all, it’s normal. She doesn’t want you looking better and risk the chance of other women finding you attractive. Yes, the shit tests will increase in order to beat you back into submission and get you to give up. Get back down there little beta boy. I want to still reap access of your resources -money, time, support - but not actually have to put out for you. My wife used to bake me brownies and ice cream late at night trying to fuck my gains. Pass those shit tests.

“When I get sad I start reading posts”

Bullshit. Work on releasing the past feelings of anger and resentment. Lift like a mother fucker and let that shit out. Stop beating yourself up.

“I look forward to 2019”

Bullshit. Look forward to now, the PRESENT moment. The point of power is always in the present moment. Lift and improve like your life depends on it - because it does. Read the sidebar, learn Game and all the attraction tools. Start playing the lead role in your own life faggot.

Wake up faggot.

[–]officepeeon1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

See what i mean? Doesn't get much straighter than this. Get to work. Faggot.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yep. This post was never about lifting. He disguised it like that though.

[–]JustOneMoreAcct0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Drop the fucking machines and focus on the barbell.

Stringlifts5x5 for 6 months or until you plateau. From there move onto Wendler 5/3/1 FSL w/ dumbbell accessory. Both those can be done with only 3 days a week and shouldn't take more then 60-90 minutes max.

Remember, since your a newb on lifting, form is more important then weight.

[–]FoxShitNasty830 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't be intimidated by the bigger boys in the gym just read up on form in advanced and I guarantee you will love 5 X 5. I was lucky enough to find an old friend who had a setup in his garage and he showed me form and how to lift. Good luck on un-fucking yourself.

[–]SepeanRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I have no clue how easy or hard it is to put on lean body mass.

Rough numbers: You can put on 1kg per month with newbie gains for up to 6 months and the .5kg per month after that. It requires intense workouts (not long, intense), eating enough calories and protein, and getting enough sleep. You will put on more weight than that but some will be fat.

Steroids add the same on top, whether you work out or not (so double gains with exercise, or the same gains without).

As others have said, get off the machines. Stronglisfts 5x5 is excellent with weighted pull ups added.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Focus on slower movements for proper form. You won't advance in weight as fast but you'll save much more wasted time later.

[–]2ndalRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As others have said, definitely Stronglifts 5x5. Show up to the gym and do what it says on the app. You may have the desire to speed ahead or skip certain things -- don't. Follow the guides. You need to get familiar with lifting and strengthen your form on the core lifts. Do it for 6 months and you should then know enough to find other programs that are better for you specifically.

Also for dropping the fat, consider intermittent fasting, either on its own or as a compliment to your diet choice of keto. Eat Stop Eat is the book you want. The author argues (backed by a lot of science and peer reviewed studies) that IF is the best way to kill body fat while retaining or even building muscle.

[–]hack3ge0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

How tall are you? There’s no way you will be 200lbs at 12% if you are 200 lbs @ 30%.

Fitness is my thing as I was over 300lbs and now am 155 lbs 12% body fat.

The only way you win the war once you have been that big is using IF (intermittent fasting). I eat like a king one meal a day and it’s amazing. Pork, bacon, beef, chicken, tons of veggies and minimal carbs - I eat paleo too so carbs are cleaner. When you pack all your calories into one meal you can’t really over eat if you are eating whole foods. I couldn’t even get my calories in the other day because I was so full.

For lifting, I’ve done SL 5x5 but started doing GreySkull LP because it has a better mix of strength and hypertrophy. I find SL to be too much volume while cutting.

Also for fucks sake don’t bulk until you are sub 10% body fat. You will get noob gains in size just from lifting and when you are low body fat and bulking on clean foods you gain something like half the amount of fat you would normally because of your ratio of lean mass to body weight.

[–]DJiamuzak0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

That’s incredible: 300 to 155! How long did that take you?

[–]WhoaItsAFactorial-5 points-4 points  (1 child) | Copy

155!

155! = 4.789142901463393e+273

[–]hack3ge1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Took me a little over a year - lots lost at beginning then settled into 1.5 to 2 lbs a week.

Thankfully it’s all just simple math so hit your calories/macros and you are good. I used MFP and a food scale once I hit a little plateau and realized I was underestimating my consumption.

[–]officepeeon0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I don't lift so no advice there but wanted to take the time to congratulate you on a great first post! One of the best I've seen. Confident, humble, takes ownership, analytical, direct. You're well on your way. You're also among friends (and if you fuck up we'll shoot straight with you like real friends should).

Also, be sure to enjoy the ride.

[–]ArticulateSavage2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I don't lift so no advice there but

What. The. Fuck.

[–]officepeeon0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Lol relax... I do amateur boxing so obviously lifting is not ideal.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

True. Wouldn't want to be stronger than your opponent.

[–]markpf730 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

YOU ARE WEALTHY.

PAY FOR THE BEST PROFESSIONAL HELP YOU CAN FIND IN A GYM WITH THE mRP BODY GOAL.

INTERVIEW YOUR POTENTIAL TRAINERS TO FIND ONE WITH A PROVEN TRACK RECORD WITH PEOPLE OF YOUR AGE AND BODY TYPE.

NO MISTAKES WILL BE MADE, NO INJURIES WILL BE HAD, AND ONLY PROGRESS WILL BE MADE.

why fuck around in the dark - get it right the first time and use your wealth to your advantage.

[–]Avogadro6020 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Spot on. A year ago I hired a trainer, at first 3 days a week then 5. He pushed me harder than I ever would have myself. My gains are unbelievable and at $150 bucks a week, best money I've ever spent. What is it worth when you catch a 21yo eyefucking 50 year old you? Priceless in my book.



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