714,030 posts

How to balance work and wife

Reddit View
March 21, 2018
10 upvotes

I want to preface this by saying I am not married yet. I plan on proposing in the next year to my LTR of a few years. We do not live together and see each other for the weekend and some weeknights. Both religious and want a family.

I’m a 26 yr old aircraft engineer by trade and I spend most my time in a hangar. I usually work from 7-4. I’ve recently been offered a new job with another company for more money but it comes with more hours work. The current company I’m at is a dead end in every way so it’s a no brainer financially.

Interestingly the guy who hired me has just resigned and I asked him why, “need more time with family” was the response. He wants a normal 8-5 job and as the chief engineer he couldn’t get that.

What I don’t want to happen to myself is to slowly decay the good relationship I’ve built by working all the time, as appears to be the case with this gentleman. Frankly, I’m trying to find another source of income so I can potentially work less in the hangar and have more time to build the relationship at home.

How do you all manage work and wife?

What is a working model to have a good family?


Post Information
Title How to balance work and wife
Author freedominlight2
Upvotes 10
Comments 28
Date 21 March 2018 11:45 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204695
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8672ki/how_to_balance_work_and_wife/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
long term relationship
Comments

[–]BetaInBag_BagInRiver12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

What you won't see here is guys giving you much sypathy or the answer you want to hear.

Here's why.

It sounds harsh, but it is not worth it. No, you and your snowflake aren't different. Twenty some years ago I met the one. She accepted me even though I was a bit wild. Fine ass young chick. True count 1 before me. I was smitten. Yet I was young and wild didn't want to commit. Actually moved away so I could keep on being wild. She followed, thought to myself well if she is following I must be everything she dreamt of and caved to the blue pill. It was good for a while. Was still pursuing my dreams, she was riding along but going after her own.

Then it wasn't going along her dreams and I got so sopped up in her pussy, because she was fine way beyond my smv or at least what I thought I was. I caved dropped my mission and followed her away. To end up splitting after she got back to where she wanted to be.

Me away from my plan, had to rework my mission. 20 years later I'm back where I wanted to be 20 years ago. I missed out on industry booms. I missed out on all sorts of pussy and possibilities. Want to be mad at her, but I left my mission. I didn't have to, it is all on me.

Your girl may have the tightest pussy on the planet, but if she isn't following your mission you will regret it later if you follow hers.

In all reality it doesn't sound like you guys see much of each other anyways better grab that job before you move in together. You think you miss her now, wait till she gets all bitchy and you wish you had to work more. A bit of distance is good. That Is one thing I have truely learned here. I was way too much up in the pussy.

[–]pridebrah1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

A bit of distance is good

I can't imagine a relationship even working without it. It is critical in my experience.

[–]drty_prRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

The fact you first posted in RP over a year ago and you're still wasting people time with some shot like this. Fuck off. If you actually swallowed that pill back then, you wouldn't be asking such a stupid question right now.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I am going to take a different tack here and say that you, like everyone else, need to realise that part or all of your mission should be to optimise YOUR happiness OVER YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. Your life mission and decisions should be primary, but LTR / wife will have a large secondary impact on YOUR Happiness.

WIFE

A nice wife is likely to make you happy, or unhappy depending on how you play it. If you stay alpha and she cherishes you, lots of sex, likely you will be happy on the long term. If you go beta, or is she loses her SMV, and sex dies, she will start to make you unhappy. This is called "Wife Vetting" and "OYS"

JOB

A good job should make you happy, or unhappy if you get trapped in a "need the money" / "long hours" cycle/ hate the boss / bought too big a house you can't get out etc.. Some people are happiest with less money but spend hours on woodwork or exercise. Thats cool. Others work their brains out, and get lots of money to go ski Aspen every year, and choose a new ferrari. Also cool IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT FOR YOUR LIFE. And yes, lots of people work hard with the intention of reaping rewards down the track (investing in future happiness). Personally i am a work life balance guy cause i might die any day, and that is not the normal view on here. YMMV

DECISION

The Money Vs Time debate is as old as anything. So to answer your basic question (who asks this shit on the internet?) It seems to me that at your age, you should go for the job, telling LTR that it is in the best interest for the future (entire life happiness) / OR BECAUSE IT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY ANYWAY (if that is true).

Make your choice. Most would take the job and re-evaluate your course 5 years from now. But remember, as much as i agree you should optimise your own happiness first, LTR / wife will impact that happiness severely if she sees fit (e.g. your never around so she cheats).

TLDR - do what makes you happy as priority. Give some consideration to LTR's happiness cause it will come back at ya

[–]2ndalRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

happiness is not a goal, it's the result of many goals hard fought and won

[–]simbarlionRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ok, it's the overarching goal.

MRP is a sexual strategy to increase sex..... Why?.... It makes you happy.

It's not like we are trying to have as many kids as possible

[–]SeamusAwl-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

she loses her SMV,

That is a given. Which is why it is important to vet your wife for other “qualities” that matter to you.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I love this.

How quickly we forget.

It wasn’t all that long ago historically that there was no 5 day 40 hour work week. Henry Ford institutionalized the concept. He further postulazted that as technology increased this work schedule could reduce.

Only he pushed it so people had more time to spend money.

Prior to this people worked 7 days a week, all hours of the day as needed to make money for their families. The idea that we as men need to work less is ridiculous. Work is work. It needs to get done. Now I am not saying work 20 hours a day BUT you must begin to make priorities in your life. This is on you.

The message you will get is not to get married. What does marriage bring to you? Sure you could keep the LTR. Move in together. Live a life forever....but why the contract?

The idea that you would willingly sacrifice you potential for marriage says a lot. You need to rethink this. You also need to consider what changes you can make other then sacrificing your career aspects. If the relationship is that fragile that a few more hours of work a week can ruin it. Then it’s not worth keeping around or you need to stop being a pussy.

My bet is on both aspects of this.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

How do you all manage work and wife?

Dont place your wife higher on the importance ladder than you.

Problem solved before it is one.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

You are only 26 for fucks sake. Go for the new job and promotion as chief engineer. This is your life.

Put yourself first. She comes along for the ride or not.

Not even married and you are afraid of what she will think. Maybe the retired guy was poor at managing his time. Maybe when he was home, he was a lazy bastard who sat on the couch all weekend drinking beer. Maybe his wife fucked Chad and only now he’s realizing he needs more time at home.

You haven’t even lived with this chick yet, what if (when) she turns out crazy?

Stop thinking so much. Take the fucking job. It will potentially open up even more opportunities for you. More doors.

The burden of men is unrealized potential.

[–]ArticulateSavage2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Not even married and you are afraid of what she will think.

This right here is why you have to, at the minimum, postpone your engagement, wedding whatever until you become your own mental point of origin.

If not, we'll be seeing you in r/deadbedrooms in a year.

You are not ready, OP. You are walking head first into a life of misery attempting to please a woman.

[–]SeamusAwl0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You are not ready, OP. You are walking head first into a life of misery attempting to please a woman.

For the OP:

How to please a woman - by being a man.

How to be a man - by not trying to please a woman.

High quality women are happiest when they get to help and assist you with your mission in life.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How to please a woman - by being a man. How to be a man - by not trying to please a woman.

Explains everything

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

promotion as chief engineer.

OP really buried that didn’t he? I wasn’t exactly sure that was what the new job was so I passed on making a comment.

[–]Reach180Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's tough to take a simple "More time with the family" line from the hiring manager and make judgements based on it. What does that mean? Maybe it's just the first thing that came to his head to explain away his better job to the guy he just hired. Maybe he's got a bitch of a commute and found something closer to home. Maybe this employer ius a slave driver who expects more hours than they let on. Maybe he's a henpecked beta who needs to work fewer hours so he can get the laundry done.

You frame this as "family" vs. "career". And so guys here are going to tell you to choose anything and everything over a woman. Not a bad general premise. But fuck employers, too. You can be just as metaphorically blue pill for the guy who writes your checks as you can to a woman.

So while I understand the idea of establishing yourself before making big life decisions, remember that there's no virtue in signing up to be a company plowhorse either. Take the path that works for what you want, and let whoever wants to be a part of it be a part of it.

[–]Alpha_Engineer990 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Get your head out of your ass. Don’t be scared of work.

Take the promotion - there’s only so many great opportunities that come along in life.

Dont fuck this one up.

[–]FoxShitNasty830 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Work hard, fuck hard. In that order.

P.s don't get married no matter how many times you get anal.

[–]31Olives0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't get married. Everything else is easy.

[–]hystericalbonding0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You're too young to get married. It's a serious legal and financial arrangement with high risk, and you clearly don't have those issues sorted.

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I could not agree more. If OP goes ahead and marries under the circumstances he deserves what he will get.

[–]FlyingSexistPig0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You are approaching this the wrong way.

If you decide to spend 1 hour with your wife a week, then make it a great hour, one for her to remember and cherish and look forward to, week after week.

If you spend 167 hours a week with your wife, she'll wonder why you don't have anything else to do with your time. She'll resent you and get sick of being around you.

Your job is not to care for and nurture. It's to lead and teach. You need to value the quality of time not focus on the quantity. You need to set expectations for your family.

Also, don't get married. Marriage is a contract, a business arrangement. You can stay with her forever, have kids with her, but still not get married.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read the above comment over and over.

I’m still a bit of an idealist so I’m not going to say don’t get married. But you seriously need to take onboard the “business arrangement” element. If you’re not shitting yourself, you don’t get it.

Secondly, she’s only saying she wants you around. And that guy at work... I bet you he doesn’t fuck. He’s trying to up his beta game so he can. It won’t work.

Thirdly, it’s written here. And I have experienced this. When you have a family and develop your life outside your home, you’ll will think you’ll be missed.

You won’t.

They won’t even notice.

What you will notice is that nobody wanted the sacrifice of your personal life that you gave.

What you will notice is that the weight of your words, the value of your presence and the “feeling” of the good times that flow from you, for both your wife and children ramps up.

Alternatively, do it the way you've been trained to. Then come back here in 6 years and start again.

This is the shit your father should have told you.

[–]TurdDoctor-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

So you want to make more money but not work more hours or increase your skills/value to your employer? Lazy faggot.

What makes you deserve more than your "dead end" job? Inflated self worth.

Typical millenial snowflake- put the work in and prove me wrong. Who cares about what your LTR thinks. She will follow or not.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2020. All rights reserved.

created by /u/dream-hunter