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Wife is having an emotional affair

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March 15, 2018
7 upvotes

Kick my ass please. Also looking for the best way to kill the puppy.

Stats: 6ft, 190 lbs, scale says 20% bf but I have completely visible abs so I think I’m actually 12-15%. 465 squat, 345 bench, 515 deadlift. To aware for 3 years, didn’t really swallow until 3 months ago. Read NMMNG, MMSLP, book of pook, HTWFAIP. Married 1.5 years together for 3. I’m 25, she’s 22. No kids between us, but I have a 5 year old from a previous relationship. Dating was rocky due to distance initially, but really good sex kept us together.

Wife has been out of work since Valentine’s Day due to semi major back surgery. She can walk and is pretty active now, but still has a weight restriction and can’t go back to work until it’s completely lifted. My sister (22 also) is off one day during the week so they go out for lunch and drinks mid day. After work, I’m in the gym and I get a text from the bartender (I make good friends with the bartenders wherever I go) and he tells me that they’re with a guy (who’s previously hooked up with my sister) and there’s been some questionable physical contact between him and my wife. No kissing or anything life that. I finish my workout and head over. My wife is trashed, sister is still sober and the other guy is gone. Sister confirms the bartenders allegations. Wife is happy to see me and asks if I’m driving her home. I do.

At home, her phone is going off. She tells me to go through it and I uncover a shit storm. She has this friend that met her online over a decade ago and they’ve remained in contact. Never met in person. Shortly after the new year, the conversation turn from BS work related and other things, to 20% sexual and 80% emotional affair. “I want to see you” “can you come over” “cum on tits.” Shit like that. She was asleep so I didn’t confront her immediately. I took her phone and left for a few hours. I come home, she’s awake, and I uncover the evidence. She admits she loves him, but thinks it’s an “imagination love” where she loves the idea of him, and because she doesn’t know how a relationship between them would be, she can frame it however she wants. She also admits to loving me.

Her cousins (single mom) 12 year old daughter has a disability and she promised she’d stay there for a few days to help out. She’ll be back this weekend.


Post Information
Title Wife is having an emotional affair
Author KagedRageius
Upvotes 7
Comments 96
Date 15 March 2018 02:29 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204721
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/84muyi/wife_is_having_an_emotional_affair/
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Comments

[–]PBL89[🍰] 22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

with those gym numbers and 25 years old i say GTFO.

[–]Trtntrenbrah20 points21 points  (4 children) | Copy

Contact a lawyer and start the process. Don’t clue her in on any of this.

Don’t leave the marital home under any circumstance.

Keep a VAR on you or use your phone if you speak in person with her.

She fucked him too.

[–]Iammrp20 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

They have no kids together so there isn't a custody battle so why tell him to not leave the house?

[–]Trtntrenbrah1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

There are a host of reasons of why you wouldn’t want to leave your daughter with her to even run to the store real quick.

Even if the child isn’t biologically hers.

Peruse enough divorce/infidelity boards and you’ll see a common theme among women when they are confronted and the depths they will go to.

How hard would it be to gaslight a 5 yr old into “Your Daddy is abusing me and you “. Cops get called....now we have a much larger problem.

[–]Iammrp21 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I didn't ask why he shouldn't leave his daughter with her.

[–]Trtntrenbrah1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most competent divorce attorneys advise not to leave the marital home voluntarily or on a temporary basis.

Children or no children.

Some of the consequences can vary by state and can depend on whether you’re the primary earner.

Divorce is war and you don’t want to lose access to financial records, other important documents, any other assets at the home.

Once you leave, it can be difficult to regain access.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret15 points16 points  (3 children) | Copy

While everyone is saying divorce. Can’t disagree. She’s making her choice and not offering any solution to correct her behaviors.

Typically a woman who’s into you will offer something. She’s not.

In any event with your gym numbers you still need to do some introspection and figure out why she is willing to have an emotional affair with a dude she’s never met. And get handsy with another guy. Could be she’s just a party girl and you vetted wrong.

Still. Got it. Your girl is a validation whore. I see little about you.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

He may be the prize, but she sure doesn't see it and/or she thinks she is the prize. The wall will rectify that for her one day, but it isn't in the OP's best interest to sit around waiting for that to happen. It's been 2 hours since posting, OP should be at the lawyer by now...

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Has nothing to do about her. OP above all else should each of us that we can be ballbusters in the gym or not. Rich or not. These things are just the easier to change. They are what gets your head right makes you realize bigger things.

The real work is you. Not here. I predict OP will be here again if he makes no change about himself. She’s just the reflection of that. Sure vetting is an issue but again that’s his fault.

Divorce. Not divorce. Fucked or not fucked.

At the end of the day it’s still you.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh yeah, I'm 100% with you about him fixing him. In the short term though, no sense digging through the trash. He needs her out of his life asap so he has space to grow.

[–]Neoduder13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Divorce.

[–]JudgeDoom6915 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

she promised she’d stay there for a few days to help out. She’ll be back this weekend

If you think that's the reason she's travelling this week, you're fooling yourself.

NEXT the vile whore.

[–]Iammrp22 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the right answer. She's fucking the dude from the bar.

[–]Chump_No_More13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Eject. Now. At one and a half years and no kids, it will be a clean and painless break. Give her no clue that you're filing and enjoy the hysterical bonding sex until you serve her.

Consider yourself very lucky that she showed her authentic self early.

I agree with the consensus, but with a caveat... do not get married unless your desire/need to have and raise children significantly outweighs the risks you can not readily absorb. At the end of the day, do you, but be fucking smart and deliberate about it.

How do you mitigate risks? Pretty much everything you didn't do in this marriage.

  1. Be a high value man with options that women want to fuck.
  2. Be your Mental Point of Origin.
  3. Operate from an abundance mindset.
  4. Thoroughly vet all prospective mates.
  5. Do not be in a rush. Unlike women, time is on your side.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

Haven't had a "please call me a faggot" post in forever!

[–]KagedRageius[S] 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

I know that’s what I need and I knew where to come. Are you going to deliver?

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Here's something for you to chew on:

Who the fuck are you that you're owed this?

[–]KagedRageius[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I don’t know

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Now, think about your woman asking the same question.

Theren lies the 'faggot' you're searching for.

Stick to the sidebar, prep your divorce, let her know once all the work is done, live and learn.

[–]BirdManBrrrr8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy

Kill the puppy.

You married a party slut who isn't even close to wanting to adult yet. Let me guess, she's hot and knows how to flaunt her sexuality for attention. Someone else said "validation whore"...100% correct.

You're young & fit and at least somewhat red pilled. I guarantee your best days are still ahead of you and you need to decide whether this girl is worth it (consensus opinion- she's not). Your story isn't all that different than mine or many others here; be glad you're learning these lessons early on in life when you have a lot of time on your side.

she’s 22 She has this friend that met her online over a decade ago and they’ve remained in contact

She's sexting some dude she met when she was 12? Wut?

[–]KagedRageius[S] -2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy

They haven’t been sexting since the age of 12. It’s been platonic and has evolved into something beyond that in the past 3 months.

[–]BirdManBrrrr2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I get that; was pointing out this guy orbiting online since she was 12.

[–]redwall921 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So you're telling me there's a chance!

Dumb and Dumber

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They haven’t been sexting since the age of 12. It’s been platonic

jesus christ are you a gay soy boy or just stupid?

my testicles literally shrunk and hide inside when I read that line

dude please

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hack her phone and email and you will see the truth.

Men protect their families and wealth so save me the alphas dont spy nonsnese .

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

1.5 years and she’s already cheating. Run. If you stay then she will never respect you and will definitely be fucking behind your back. Lucky you got out this early.

[–]mrpthrowa10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

"imagination love"..

haha love the female hamster

she'll never respect you dude.. run while you don't have a kid with her..

[–]KagedRageius[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Have papers ready to go when she walks in the door?

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret11 points12 points  (6 children) | Copy

Good luck with the divorce, man. Weirdest thing that happened to me with a married chick I had just met. We're making out in her car and she stops, looks at me, and says, "I love you". Nothing else impacted me, but that... That opened my eyes up wide. Loser husband was texting her the whole time. "Hey baby are you okay? Are you coming home? I miss you, I love you. Be careful. Where are you?"

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

Same. Was balls deep in a girl named Rose, during my single days. She had a big smile on her face, telling me how much she loved her fiancee.

I just had to finish so I wasn't late for work and charged for AWOL.

Shit stuck with me.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's just about the easiest way possible to take the Red Pill. Most of these guys take the much larger Red Suppository

[–]KagedRageius[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I’ve been that guy before this. A few times. AWALT

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, you haven't. You wish you've been but you haven't.

IF you were that guy, you wouldn't believe UTTER BULLSHIT like "platonic" etc

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Was balls deep in a girl named Rose, during my single days

EVERYONE NOTE: side effect of your girl being aware that you're a MRP regular - you need to add ", during my single days" after every single description of a girl you fucked. Unless...

Hmm, Rollo does exactly the same thing I believe.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Only because haters keep bitching about it.

Chick's think I'm fucking everyone, and kids think I'm super chad.

I dont want anyone accusing me of lying. I may be a dick, but I'm no liar

[–]FoxShitNasty834 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is your go ticket, leave don't look back. Don't forget what you learnt at MRP and apply it from a fresh beginning.

See you in a few years when the dead bedroom kicks in. Don't marry again, I wouldn't fuck that.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

all women have orbiters and plan B dudes, your wife's plan B upped his game and she was susceptible. that's probably on you. how is your oak and comfort game? everybody needs sidebar.

her and friend met when she was 12? is he a pedo?

honestly, the fact that she was petting/being petted at a bar, in front of your own sister none the less, is more disconcerting. she has no impulse control what so ever and/or does not respect you at all.

[–]KagedRageius[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I think my comfort game leaves more to be desired. She’s complained before that I always do whatever I want without caring about her. I’ve been her oak and rock, especially after surgery. She complimented me very well on how I was there for her.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

She’s complained before that I always do whatever I want without caring about her.

i have ALWAYS done whatever i want. one of my gifts. when i was worried about her caring about it she was worried i didn't care about her, when i stopped worrying so did she

[–]DeeMooreDeeMarriet3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can't make a whore a housewife.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

No kids? The fuck you wasting time posting? Make a copy of the phone details and head right over to the lawyer, get it done asap. You are young and in good shape, no use wasting any more of your resources on this waste of space.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

what the fuck is this?

kill the puppy... best way? what ever way you want. No one cares about this puppy

go see an attorney. set up logistics that work for you and get it done. Not a word to her unless you need to get her permission to do what you want.

[–]BigLebowskiBot2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Obviously, you're not a golfer.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Give her the D.

Divorce.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Faggot

[–]ArticulateSavage5 points6 points  (10 children) | Copy

Your lifting numbers are excellent! Well done. You'll easily be able to SGM your new plates and they're going to love you for it.

BTW, never marry again. For the love of God. Best of luck in the divorce.

[–]Senor_Martillo6 points7 points  (9 children) | Copy

I'm thinking those numbers are a little too excellent.

[–]mrpthrowa2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

yeah the fook?

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

It's not that crazy, especially if he's been lifting for a long time. Totals are 1300 lbs. for a 190 lb man, it's doable.

[–]mrpthrowa4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

what's crazy is such a jacked guy is asking to confirm leaving such a whore

[–]KagedRageius[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Oneitis. She’s been a good step mom and I might’ve pedalstilized her for that.

[–]mrpthrowa2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

your kid will learn what a hard boundary is and how to act on it from you

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're right, u/mrpthrowa. It's crazy that a guy like OP needs validation from the Web to make the obvious choice. He has a long way to go. I also agree with you that the example he sets for his kid now will pay dividends in future.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Meh. It doesn't matter and I'm not fixated on it. I think the point is that he's in great shape, which should serve him well as he moves forth into his new life as a single man.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dating was rocky due to distance initially,

that's the solution to your problems

bitch just loves LDRs

as soon as you could NOT be that "imaginary distance friend", your relationship was over

she has daddy issues of some sort

eject

I've had the same woman as my wife. I've commented few years ago on long distance relationships as addictive.

your wife is an addict

don't be a co-addict. eject. let her grow, let her feel the consequences.

[–]WesternhagenWinner1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

She has this friend that met her online over a decade ago

She's 22. She's been friends with this guy since she was 10 or 11? (Never mind, I see this is answered below.)

[–]KagedRageius[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Yes. And she’s never met him

[–]WesternhagenWinner1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

That seems really weird to me, but maybe it's normal to have long-term internet orbiters in this day and age.

[–]KagedRageius[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Millennial women are terrible. I thought I vetted properly. She came from a conservative, Christian house hold. Mom and dad still married. Low N count. Very in tune with her emotions and owned any mistake she made.

[–]pridebrah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Low N count

While this can be good, it can also be very bad because a low N count is also synonymous with a lack of experience like it is for a man. We often think of a high N-count as being a slut that will open her legs for anyone (which it often is), but the opposite can also be true as in if she's only been with 1-2 guys, the fantasy of some jackass becomes much more alluring due to her lack of experience paired with her young fantasy mindset.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude I had similar situation with ex wife. "Love" for an ex boyfriend from another town that she spoke a lot over phone but never seen until some day etc etc etc.

My suggestion: divorce ASAP.

[–]mars-awake1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Boot her... divorce and find someone better. You choose what you want in life, so if you think you deserve someone who is faithful and into you, go get that and send her packing.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Free pass dude. Move on.

Yep. It hurts. But I will tell you, the free pass from a cunt is great, especially if she has health issues.

Ya, I’m talking about her not being able to fuck in the future. Dead serious. Move on.

Feel lucky.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Meh.

Is this online guy the same one they met?

Doesn't sound like it.

[–]KagedRageius[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

No. The online guy lives over 1000 miles away

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

So really you're just very insecure.

[–]KagedRageius[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Potentially. Would you stay with someone who’s doing this behind your back however?

[–]weakandsensitive4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

At the end of the day, nothing changes the fact that you're an insecure little bitch and being treated as such.

Focus on you, not me, because you are absolutely not me.

[–]pridebrah1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Username doesn't check out.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Before you lose your mind read the Key Logger. This is practically an AWALT. There is also an entire chapter in MMSL (or the MAP I don't recall) on "Affair Busting" so I would read that. You decide whether this is attention whoring or whether you can put a stop to it and whether you want to put a stop to it.

If you want to stop it the rules are simple. No contact going forward except a single comment followed by blocking her emotional affair partner. Open media and social accounts going forward. No exceptions and open inspections at any time.

However, with comments like that it is more than "emotional." Just a suspicion. You still need to make the same decisions.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

There is also an entire chapter in MMSL (or the MAP I don't recall) on "Affair Busting" so I would read that.

DON'T waste your time on that. Just DON'T.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I am not really down with this affair busting stuff but if that is what he wants to do what else do you suggest? Athol Kay wrote about it, counseled men through it, and wrote one of the best chapters on the topic. Why wouldn't he read it?

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

When she has an affair, you consult your lawyer and hire a PI. You do not salvage a relationship, you don’t white knight the other female involved because it’s a waste of your precious time.

Athol is not red pill.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, he is obviously purple pill at best but he has some good information.

For the record I agree with you on rehabilitating a marriage after an affair but as a Coach my reflexes say it is up to the client.

[–]Weebynerd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So this same guy fucked your sister and then plays around with your wife, additionally she has been imagination fucking some other guy.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You have no idea what a luck befell you. You get to dump her with hardly any blowback.

Lucky faggot.

[–]Bedtimeshine0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You know what you need to do. Kick her out, file for d, go no contact. Call her up and tell her your done... her coming this weekend will just to be to collect her things. Another commenter mentioned how if a woman is into you she will do something to fix her fuck ups. It doesn’t matter if she’s still in contact with Internet dude or not. I doesn’t matter if she’s fucking bar guy or not during this break. If she does those things then good... atleast it makes your choices easier. Cutting off the Internet guy only means something if she does it immediately and on her own anyway. But even if she’s not currently engaging in unfaithful behavior while she’s away... she’s still not doing enough. She’s not doing anything actually. Take yourself out of her life completely and see what she does to fix this if anything.

But about your sister. Why was it the fucking bartender that had to be the one to tell you this when it was happening right in front of your sister? I’d be pretty let down. What else does she know?

[–]KagedRageius[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She confirmed everything and went into more detail. She has my back pretty well and was going to call her out in person when I was there.

[–]pridebrah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

she’s 22

I mean this is pretty much the beginning and end of the problem. That is very very young and you're bound to run into bullshit like this, at least in my experience.

Sucks that you got tied up in marriage with the shit she's presenting you, but at least you don't have any kids at this point. It won't be easy, but I too agree with everyone else saying move on. This is a really bad red flag and it will pop up again at some point. The chick is only 2 years into her 20s.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There are no emotional affairs, she's fucking him hardcore.

She's cumming on his dick like she never came on yours, creaming, squirting, all that stuff.

Her cousins (single mom) 12 year old daughter has a disability and she promised she’d stay there for a few days to help out. She’ll be back this weekend.

YEA SURE.



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