I'm going through a nasty divorce. I've been with my current gf for 4 months. It has been a good relationship for me, but lately she isn't following my lead on a few things. I've been a little bit apprehensive on what to do about that. She is a great girl and I was/am a bit hesitant to let her go, fearing that she was irreplaceable.

Knowing how fucking retarded I was for starting to think like that, I decided it was time to explore other women. Incidentally my counsellor actually had me do this as an exercise when I left my ex wife.

So I emailed a woman that wanted a FWB with me back in the spring. She is still interested. I've known this woman for a while, she is pretty classy. Has a great life, smart, well put together. Just doesn't have time for (most) men, yet wants sex. And we'll hang out a bit. Perfect.

And I opened an online dating profile. Threw up one public picture that didn't even have my face in it, put up a 2 line description of what I wanted - "partner in crime for adventures" and bam, I've got tons of women interested in me. Hint: women like men who are mysterious.

The interesting thing about all this is how it changes your mindset. A few weeks ago I was actually beginning to fret about how to keep my gf. Now it seems ridiculous because there are several other good or great women within grasp that seem to be more than willing to give me what I want in a relationship. When you realize there is no scarcity you view the situation in a totally different light.

What is really interesting is that I knew I had abundance 4 months ago when I met my gf. I had 3 women interested in me then, without even really trying. How did I forget that so quickly ? How did I come to think that this one woman was so irreplaceable that I would consider staying in a relationship that wasn't everything I wanted ? Where the fuck does that thinking come from ?

The other thing that strikes me is how easy it is to be a man that women want, especially with mature women, 40+. In many ways these women are gems - fit, fun, classy, smart, accomplished, low drama, etc. - and yet their potential mate pool seems to be extremely limited. I feel sorry for them because many of them deserve much, much better.

It doesn't take much at all to be a top 10%er these days. Be fit and STFU is a good start. All the rules that apply to being a good captain apply to dating these women. Do that and things seem to work out really well.

Online dating messaging is basically a shit test proving ground for men. Everything women do on there is a test. Send a needy or desperate opening message and you fail. Be on the site 24x7 and you fail. Reply too quickly and you fail. To be successful, all you have to do is sit back and swat away tests. It is almost comical.

It is also really interesting to see how women shoot themselves in the foot once they are in a relationship. It is almost predictable that they'll manufacture an issue and expect to gain control of the relationship with it. By manufacture an issue, I mean create a situation with their hamster and demand you "fix" it.

I guess this works with beta guys. "Yes dear, I'll get right on that, dear". I don't have much patience for this. Yes, I could probably stick around and lead her through it and make it work, but why ?

I live my life for me now. If a woman wants to be in my life, she needs to trust my leadership and follow. That isn't up for debate. I'm not going to play to her hamster. I don't do that any more. Sorry to see her go, but the situation is what it is and I don't compromise. The irony is that I have a great life planned out and she could have been a significant part of that. But a woman in my life doesn't get that prize if she isn't willing to follow. Drama diverts time and energy from the task at hand - building a good life. It isn't healthy for anyone.

I'd like to thank the people on this forum for their effort and dedication. You've helped me make big changes in my life.

For any newbies out there that wonder what it takes to get to this place in life, the answer is lift and sidebar. I find I need to read and reread things continuously in order to internalize it. Every day. It takes a long, long time to unlearn 30 years of bad programming.

PS: I know you guys say that I shouldn't be in a single LT relationship right now. I'm doing what I think is right for me. IDGAF what you think. Thanks anyway. :)