Tl;DR: Drunk Mormon Captain, Career Nice Guy Beta. I’m a Goddamn Mess. Found MRP, tried to turn things around. Found a secret burner phone couple days ago in wife’s closet. Coming up with exit plan and confront. This is my reality. I've created this shit and know I have to own It. Read “Secret Phone” for more info.
Pre-Update Note: As Rian Stone and several other red-pillers pointed out, my background is very important in my current position. I should have added it, below my update is a very thorough stats and backstory. Thanks to all the feedback guys.
Update Day 3:
Yesterday, my wife asked for sex after posting Update Day 2. Not wanting to arouse suspicion and the fact that I wanted to get off I gave her an angry, intense Fuck. She had the most intense orgasm I've heard her have in about a year. And said she needed it because she hadn't had one in a while (Mystery Chad out of town?) Maybe, I'm fucking myself by fucking her, but I’m trying to “Act Normally” as SSS mentioned. Ok maybe I'm not acting exactly normal. I've pounded her before, but I don't think I’ve ever pounded her that hard before. She asked for it harder. She even said in a happy kind of way “You look angry when your intense,”
Today she’s said “I love you” three times before kissing me. I again said “Bye” or nothing at all. This is probably the most she's initiated kissing or said “I love you” in such a short period of time. My guess is she feels insecure about my lack of reciprocation and feels a need to chase me. My left eye is about 20/20 and my right is 20/30 but both are still hazy and still a little hard to drive. It's like being able to read everything, but through a frosted filter. Doctor said it's normal and will get better as time progresses. My next appointment is on Tuesday, where he will take out the protective contacts that I have on my eyes. She just went to a church function said how much she loves me, kissed me, and said she wished she didn’t have to go and could be home with me. Fuck. Religion or not, Hypergamy don't care.
Still trying to figure all the logistics of the details of what I’m going to do, but it’s probably going to be a composite of what all of you have suggested. One thing I’m pretty sure of is that if she realizes that I went to a Lawyer to get divorce papers and advice, this shit is going nuclear. Will keep you posted.
Engineer, 77k. Wife was in charge of paying the bills for most of marriage, always paid bills on time, but is a spender. I took over finances 2 months ago.
6’0” 180#. 15% BF. 1RM: DL-350#, BS-255#, BP-205#, OHP:145#.
Read: NMMNG x 3, MMSLP x 1, Rational Male, Year One x 1, MAP x 1. Reading: WISNIFG. Still got a lot of work to do in career, lifting, and reading.
I'm 36. She's a 33 alpha widow HB8 with recent DD implants. As girl’s go she not very emotional, intelligent, and strong willed. We are both active Mormons. (Multiple-wives jokes are encouraged), meaning we attend church every sunday, have callings or jobs to fulfill in the church, and have temple recommends. We've been married 12 years with 4 kids.
Her father suffered with MS for all of her childhood and died when she was a teenager. She’s a classic “girl with a daddy problem”, but instead daddy was paralized and mentally handicap for quite a bit of her life.
During her “bad girl” years she slept with 3 guys (according to her). She got pregnant (18 years old) while living with her last non-alpha pothead beta boyfriend before she had her coming to jesus moment (aka need a good beta provider). She turned her life around and started living by the church standards a year and a half before she met me (her goody-goody Mormon betabux). I adopted her daughter after we got married “for time and all eternity” (the most Oneitist belief ever). I believe the younger three are mine, but anything is possible.
12 years later-Pre Red Pill
She started going to the gym 3 years ago when she hit her wall (Rollo you are a genius). 7 months ago she began going to the CrossFit classes at her gym and a little bit after that I came across some messages with her CrossFit coach that raised my eyebrows. He was using tame sexual innuendos with her, sharing some sexually explicit songs with her, and she was texting it up with him for several hours almost every day. Although I never found anything explicit or even implicit from her to him, she never told him to stop until I put my foot down and told her she was having an emotional affair. She apologized but denied anything physical. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, because she would have to have lied to her ecclesiastical leadership to maintain her temple worthiness. A week later we got into a huge fight and decided to separate. I was an emotional wreck. Went to Marriage Counseling. I saw my kids almost everyday during the 2 month separation. After some reconciliation I came back home and we tried to work things out (I'll never leave my house again, unless I sell it).
Post Red Pill
Beginning of December I came across Married Red Pill via Family Alpha, as I was trying to find answers to our marital problems. I began with Rational Male, year one since it was the most easily available. It blew my mind and made me see life for what it really is. At the same time I took over the finances and found my wife had spent a lot of money. She apologized profusely, said she would ‘fix it’ and I gave her a budget. I stopped the Marriage Counseling, because it wasn’t doing anything for us. I realized that the problem was me and that some her behavior only improved because Male Counselor was acting like Alpha Daddy telling her to quit it. Unfortunately, as I was sucking in all of Year One I went Red Pill Rambo a couple of times in December, which almost ended our marriage in divorce.
The beginning of January I started reading NMMNG. I was STFU and doing my best to not be butt-hurt. I began keeping an OYS checklist in my journal and completing as much shit I could every week. Part of that was giving my kids my time, so I planned to take my daughter out to eat. I talked to her about it and found out that my wife was sharing our financial struggles with her. I was not happy. I had just finished NMMNG and I tried to set some boundaries and told my wife not to share our financial issues with our kids in the calmest way I could at that time. My Father would do this when I was a kid and it created a lot of unnecessary fear in me, which to me is a total beta move. She got upset and threatened to divorce me and left the house. After 30 minutes she came back and said that she wouldn't divorce me and agreed that she wouldn't share our financial situation with the kids anymore. We then had a great month of frequent (27 times), wild sex. She was submissive, attentive, and asking to spend time with me. I did my own things without worry of what she thought. Red-Pill was working. Shit tests were far fewer. Then last week I did the financials and found she went over $300 on our budget and on top of that she spent $400 on clothing the same day. I was angry, lost frame and we avoided each other for a couple of days. When we started talking again she said I was a ‘Jerk’. I never apologized, but went right back at the fact that she promised to ‘fix it’ and she didn’t follow through. She said ‘I’m trying.’ Same exact time she got a job as a CrossFit Coach. Also, she just got off her period so she's not pregnant. Very next day I find the burner phone slightly charged in a shoe box in her closet.