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So why do women shit test themselves out of a decent relationship ?

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February 1, 2018
10 upvotes

I get hypergamy and I get why women shut down with bad men. But what I don't get is why women shit test and shut down with good men, especially when they don't have another man in the wings.

I've seen this several times in real life. Decent man has been married for a while. Stays in shape, good looking, runs a tight ship. His wife gets harpy and bitchy. Nothing is good enough for her.

But when you look at her, she isn't anything special. She doesn't take care of herself, so she isn't really attractive. Their sex life sucks. She doesn't contribute a lot to the family. And yet she shit tests and complains about everything.

The man eventually gets tired of it and dumps her ass. I know a friend of a friend like this right now.

Hypergamy states that a woman ends up with the best man she can catch. But a woman like this often never catches another man OR catches a man that isn't as good as the one she had. Her shit testing and complaining got her a worse man.

How does hypergamy explain this ?


Post Information
Title So why do women shit test themselves out of a decent relationship ?
Author ImSteveMcQueen
Upvotes 10
Comments 42
Date 01 February 2018 12:46 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204875
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7ueu5u/so_why_do_women_shit_test_themselves_out_of_a/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
hypergamyshit test
Comments

[–]SepeanRed Beret24 points25 points  (5 children) | Copy

Evolutionarily speaking, why would a female want to have offspring with a man who is too weak to handle her silly outbursts? It's an evolutionary dead end. It's better to roll the dice. I'm sure you can find examples of women who obviously shot themselves in the foot because they had no option of finding something better, but our instincts haven't evolved to rationally optimize for every individual - it's a haphazard behavorial program thrown together by trial and error that works well enough for most humans most of the time.

And that's enough arm chair evo psych. What matters is that girls will shit test, and they will only respect a man that can handle it. Your idea of a "decent man" is poorly calibrated with what girls think makes a decent man. Frame is paramount to them, and no amount of good provisioning and looks will make up for that. What you're saying is no different than when land whales argue for fat acceptance and how they're beautiful on the inside. Men don't give a fuck what they bring to the relationship if they're ugly, just like girls don't give a fuck about what a man brings if he's spineless.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Beautifully explained.

[–]SeamusAwl3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

girls don't give a fuck about what a man brings if he's spineless.

last night. laying in bed. my wife starts complaining and harping on me about something I don't even remember. So I ask her bluntly if she plans on continuing down that path to goad me into an argument. Her reply was a simple "no." Then she snuggled on up to me. So why was my wife a harpy little bitch? I watched her struggle getting into bed after she tweaked her back. When she was about 95% done and in, what appears to be, severe distress before I asked if she needed help. And it started from there.

Both the cause and recovery prove your statement.

[–]JudgeDoom69-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

about something I don't even remember

But then you write it was because she was in "severe distress" with back pain. Which is it, do you remember or not?

I watched her struggle getting into bed after she tweaked her back. When she was about 95% done and in, what appears to be, severe distress before I asked if she needed help

That's not a shit test. That's you being a dick.

[–]SeamusAwl2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Which is it, do you remember or not?

lol. I do not remember what she was harping on me about. it wasn't her back.

That's not a shit test. That's you being a dick.

No it wasn't a shit test. But then again I never said it was anything but the cause of her becoming a harping bitch. Whether or not I was being a dick is debatable.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Back pain to not fuck. Always remember that ....

[–]rocknrollchuck25 points26 points  (6 children) | Copy

There's a joke that explains it:

The Husband Store

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. 

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. 

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. 

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: 

Floor 1 - These men have jobs. 

The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes. 

The second floor sign reads: 

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids. 

The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again. 

The third floor sign reads: 

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. 

"Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?" 

The fourth floor sign reads: 

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. 

"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight. 

The fifth floor sign reads: 

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. 

"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes. 

The sixth floor sign reads: 

Floor 6 - You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

[–]nastynickdrRed Beret14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

The continuation is:

The Wife Store

Floor 1 - These women are pretty.

Floor 2 - These women are pretty and have big tits.

Floor 3 - Floor 3 was closed since there were zero visitors.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I've actually witnessed this play out blow by blow with my wife's friend. Even my wife is sick of her 'yearning for love'.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Looking back, many in my generation of boomers had serial marriages.

Some of the girls I knew from high school, once they started "Marrying up" serial marriages, they kept on doing it, and, many of them ended up cat ladies.

The guys started serial "marrying down", younger and hotter, AKA trophy wives. On average the guys came out better.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Funny and real. Could be a reality show.

[–]rocknrollchuck1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Haha yeah - Aspiring Housewives of Orange County.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

that joke is ancient. does really need any further proof for hypergamy.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your question may very well read "When does the shit testing stop?"

The answer is never. Keep in mind that women will always test for fitness, even if the cost is the end of the marriage. On the surface guys may seem to have their shit together, but there is always something to work at, no matter who you are. Also do not under estimate the value of beta comfort that these relationships often lack.

Add to that the Eat, Pray, Love movement and you sit with an army of disenchanted women demanding a relationship that can only realistically exist for fractions of a second on any given day. Then they become victims that cannot post their perfect life on Facebook.

[–]broneilbro7 points8 points  (7 children) | Copy

Had this happen to a friend of mine. Dude was SMV 9 and she was at best SMV 6. He was very RP but at the same time didn't realize it. He would get shit on and I'm like wtf?

One day at dinner we are eating. She starts to go on a bitchfest. He looks at her and realizes he's done. Tells her to get her shit out of his house (not married but very LTR) and leave in front of 10 of their best friends. She hamsters and tries to brush it off but prob 6 years of shit testing broke this guy.

He ends up throwing all her shit out because she didn't believe him. Two weeks later he is banging multiple 9s and having the time of his life.

I have realized most mid life crises are people waking up.

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[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. You are correct

I know a few women that have kept their figure as kids and life drags on. They boast when drunk about fucking M, W, F to keep their husbands cocks out of the office staff. Amazingly, their husbands are pretty fucking happy

I don’t really see a mid life crisis coming

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

ALL women shit test. All women have that hypergamous desire, though there is a spectrum.

What you're talking about are the lies that feminists have force-fed through the years. The divorce culture. The whispers that are constantly affecting women. Additionally, women don't realize the costs of divorce.

Hypergamy is merely the biological imperative to attain the best mate they can. There's a lot more going on. Additionally, women don't realize that their market value, so to speak, is much lower the older they get. Rollo's second book goes into more detail.

Key point - find a woman who doesn't listen to the whispers.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't forget the women also base their judgement on what their smv USED to be.

They think they are entitled based on what they were like, most probably the day of the wedding.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

You are not describing Hypergamy.

You are describing a low value woman that either married up and it just took the man that long to figure it out, or married even and the man grew past her and she didn’t catch up.

The failure in her self preservation mode. Perhaps she was comfortable so long that until the papers are served she didn’t see the writing on the wall. Maybe more dread could have fixed it?

Who knows. Humans are stupid most of the time. Until the food dish is moved, we keep going and doing the same thing over and over again many time.

[–]dcapt460 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are describing a low value woman that either married up and it just took the man that long to figure it out, or married even and the man grew past her and she didn’t catch up.

SMV was probably comparable when they met/married but with the delay in the Men's peak and women hitting the wall he surpassed her. That would be my case.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women aren't perfect at being women. They need calibration, same as everyone

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

His wife gets harpy and bitchy. Nothing is good enough for her.

This works because the man listens to her, takes her seriously and completely fails these shit tests.

But when you look at her, she isn't anything special. She doesn't take care of herself, so she isn't really attractive. Their sex life sucks. She doesn't contribute a lot to the family.

She does not find him attractive. Might have something to do with his frame and shit test failures. Seeing a pattern yet?

And yet she shit tests and complains about everything.

Her most basic lizard brain will keep doing this wanting her man to just "get it". She will not stop until he does.

The man eventually gets tired of it and dumps her ass.

What else can he do? He doesn't "get it". He cannot win because he still doesn't know what to do, or how to do it. He is left with the only option of getting another one and doing it all over again.

Men blame the woman over and over again, when the problem is (usually) the man. Think about it, if men keep saying "she was a low quality woman" they will never get at the facts of their own failing. Anger Stage One: "it's all her fault". Bullshit.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Before I started on MRP - which is not that long ago - I was proud of the fact that my wife rarely shit tested me. When she did, I could recognise them and handle them but they didn't come too often and I saw this as a good sign.

It's not. If you're not getting shit tested regularly, you're doing something wrong.

In the last couple of months since I signed up here, I'm at the gym 3 nights a week, out running twice a week, have made vast improvements on my diet, go out with my mates pretty much every Saturday night and the rest of the time (when I'm not running my business), I keep myself busy with my hobbies or work around the house.

I get shit tested daily now - and it's increasing in frequency as the weeks go on. The predictability of it - once you know why it's happening - is hilarious.

Shit tests are a good thing - they allow you to show your strength and that increases your levels of attraction.

The problem with your friend is most likely that he was being shit tested by a woman with a lower SMV who added little value to his life. Easy to see why someone would tire of that.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

So shit test from ugly women are not worth our time? Why waste these skills taming an ugly hypergamous shrew, when you can game a beautiful one?

Good point though about the lack of shit testing.... if she just gave up on you and accepted you're a loser or stagnant then little testing. Shit testing in this respect means you are putting yourself out in front as the head of household.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I started my MAP - based on Athol Kay's book - six months ago. That did amazing things for me personaly and really helped me get my shit together. It steadied the ship at home too - stopped her talking about "wanting space" and I won back the Captain's role.

So while it gained respect it had little effect on attraction.

The shit testing has really kicked in since I started MRP.. I've been lifting, STFU, teasing, owning my shit and generally just getting on with my life and enjoying it.

Meanwhile, she's hamstering like fuck and throwing shit daily.

It's brilliant. This shit really works.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't forget that you have been actively/consciously affecting change in yourself and it's taken 6 months. She is only in a reaction phase to your changes, since she has not been nor should she be told about fight club. This means she will always be a lagging behind you in terms of responding to your changes. Plus she does have to Shit test you for awhile to be hypergamously sure of her decision to more fully submit. Her submission is not your goal, just as keeping her is not a goal, but merely one of the many end results of you achieving your MAP.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Her submission is not your goal, just as keeping her is not a goal, but merely one of the many end results of you achieving your MAP.

For me (and I suspect for a lot of guys) this has been the hardest thing to really take on board. When I started my journey - reading Athol - this is obviously one of the first things he points out and while I understood it, it is something that's very hard to internalize - especially at a time when you realize that not only have you let yourself and your life go to complete shit but that your wife is thinking of leaving you because of it.

All that was going through my head at the time was, "You can't leave me, I love you, I'm going to fix everything... I've even read books about it... I have a MAP.. it shows me how to be your Captain. You'll be my First Officer and we'll sail the seas together with me at the helm and you by my side... well, not quite by my side, but down on your knees, draining my balls. Athol said so. "

Thankfully, I never actually said any of this out loud.

[–]470_2_700_nm4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think these men fail at a bunch of things, such as OI, abundance, dread, mission in life.

I’m sure some of them actually get it, but my bet is most of them never fully let go of blue pill ideology to illicit a serious response from their wives lizard brain.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Add putting up with shit behavior to that list

[–]Alpha_Engineer994 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

It’s orgnaic for them. Women are very insecure, so it’s their way of pinging off the environment -like sonar- to find out whether or not you’re still the Man who is in charge.

She needs to know if you are willing to go after what YOU want and if you are living YOUR purpose and have strength.

But in a marriage or a LTR, one test is not enough, she is biologically programmed to continually shit test you in order to verify that YOU are still in charge. Only then will she know that all the Masculine responsibilities are taken care of so she can totally relax into the feminine.

She can be totally free to be herself: -She can laugh when she wants to -she can cry when she wants to -she can dance when she wants to -she can sing when she wants to

She can express her femininity completely without having to focus on direction, purpose, planning. That’s your fucking job as the man!

If you are this man for her, she’ll throw shit tests at you intensely and often. She does this because she needs to know that you still are that guy. This way, she can continue to be free. If you are not, she’ll have to pick up the slack and take on more masculine attributes. Thus, becoming harpy and bitchy.

Chicks tend not to test dudes as much who aren’t in touch with their purpose and direction because once they fail a test, they know that their testing is not needed. They know that he’s not there yet, so they don’t need to keep testing.

Read the fucking sidebar =====>

“Way of the superior man” in particular.

[–]crimson_chris1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am finally getting around to WOTSM now. About halfway through, but it's really insightful so far.

I also read up on cybernetics. I get the merits.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Let's flip this script from fuck wimmens to low value men.

Stays in shape, good looking, runs a tight ship.

All this is fairly easy to do honestly. It doesn't make an Alpha. I mean how many times do we hear "I was once Alpha...."

No. You really weren't. Throughout the manosphere it's universally accepted that young men are naturally alpha. This doesn't mean that they will stay that way nor will be full fledged chads. What it means is that a man's natural state is to be alpha. Doesn't mean he will stay that way. There are even flared guys here that once in a while slip up.

It's how they handle it later that matters.

His wife gets harpy and bitchy. Nothing is good enough for her.

Well for the most part the man allowed it. That simple.

Hypergamy is selfishness. Pure and simple. The only way to deal with it is tough love....or being a hard ass what ever your flavor is. Hypergamy is just a woman's drive to seek better opportunities and it can manifest itself in many different ways. It's not just money and position. It's why the whole "where have the good men gone" thing is around. Women that have burned themselves out living the "go gurl" life have come to realize that a "good" man is what they want not the fame, fortune, or all that. A solid individual who gets it and has his shit together. Women will swing down (hypo gamy) if in some way they see it as meeting their objectives.

If your shrew is shit testing you why are you allowing it or even why are you failing them? Just because the man puts up with it for a period of time then hoists her off the ship doesn't make him alpha or even a man of value. It just makes him a beta that has reached his limits.

Women shit test. It's what they do. I love it when my girlfriend shit tests me. It's her testing me if I am worthy. I am the prize.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How does hypergamy explain this ?

To the extent that women make poor choices due to hypergamy, this is due to the fact that hypergamy does not grant good judgment or perfect knowledge. Some women will overplay their hand, some underplay it. All part of the game.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

shit test and shut down with good men

By not responding appropriately to the shit tests, aka "failing" it lowers his smv in her eyes. Eventually he is no longer a "good man."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

But what I don't get is why women shit test and shut down with good men

Anxiety over accidentally getting knocked up by a guy with bad genes.

Hypergamy states that a woman ends up with the best man she can catch.

Slightly wrong here. Hypergamy states that a woman is going to get dick from the best man she can and provisions from the best she can but not that they'll both come from the same person. How you deal with shit tests is how she sorts you into those two buckets.

[–]ReturnOfTheSwing-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe she rode the CC hard before she met this guy and her "good man" doesn't measure up to her imagined ideal of a previous alpha. That and her pair-bonding ability has been destroyed after 1000 cocks. Also possible that the guy is actually failing shit tests or not holding frame, it's hard to know what really goes down inside that marriage from the outside.



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