*EDIT: All quality replies, guys. Thank you for your time. Spot on. As always.
I recently found out from my sister that my wife has been the brunt of family angst for over a decade.
Married 12 years, 3 grade school children. Spouse and I are late thirties. MRP/RP has changed my life. Lift, read, successful job, successful life by all accounts. I’ve learned to own my shit, STFU, lead. It’s turned around my sex life in the bedroom (although I continually am working on getting it where I really want it to be). However, there’s been much progress since the beginning.
Problem is that I’ve never been 100% committed to my marriage. I step out every couple of years to fill the void that I perceive has always existed.
I recently took a road trip with my sister, who informed me on many deep discussions about life, that her/BIL, my mother and father absolutely 100% can’t stand my wife. They all live out of state and hardly visit. In fact, it’s like pulling teeth to get them to come visit my children. It’s been the source of must angst and anger for me over the past few years as I could never understand what the deal was. The excuses usually were along the lines of finances and work schedules.s
Now, I understand what the problem is. It makes sense. I calmly and politely confronted my parents and asked them for their thoughts and input. The short of it is that they view my wife as unintelligent, socially awkward, ungrateful (toward me) and unaccomodating toward them (when they do come visit).
This really took me by surprise. I asked all 3 for specific examples to back their claims in the hopes of filtering conjecture. Having heard their claims, I TOTALLY see what they’re talking about. I guess I’ve grown accustomed to it and I stopped seeing the issue they brought up.
Now that I’m home and quietly observing, I see everything here talking about. I’m infuriated. My kids have lost out on years of memories and bonds with family that should be part of their lives. It makes me sick to my stomach what is at hand.
I can’t do much with the information. Telling wife about it will only isolate her in future interactions with said family and I don’t think she’d care enough to try and change. I’ve considered divorce on and off for several years but I’ve always slipped back into the comfortable hum drum of life....that is until now......now that I’m aware of RP teachings. This, IMO, is a deal breaker. My infidelity isn’t fair to my relationship, however I won’t stop. A common lack of respect from my family toward my wife is feeling like the straw that is going to break the camels back.
Thoughts from the community on managing this situation in one direction or the other?