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FR: Main event went down last night

Reddit View
January 21, 2018
9 upvotes

I've made a couple posts that accurately described my situation so anyone interested can check them out for background. Last night my wife of 25 years killed the puppy. We are going to talk to an attorney this week. No screaming, no fighting, just sad honest dialog between two human beings with a lot of history.

I want to thank all of you that responded to my posts with advice and a kick in the ass. I do appreciate it. What you have helped to teach me, and what I have gained from this blog will be beneficial to my continued growth. Life will be awesome again.


Post Information
Title FR: Main event went down last night
Author dirk626
Upvotes 9
Comments 37
Date 21 January 2018 06:46 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204918
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7rzjob/fr_main_event_went_down_last_night/
Similar Posts
Comments

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret14 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy

How motivated are you right now. Because in a year, I want to see you with a update post that essentially goes "Had a amicable divorce, got shredded, killed it in my career, and met all sorts of beautiful women and got laid more than a few times."

Your past is just that. It's past. Learn from it, don't dwell on it, and make a plan for your future.

[–]dirk626[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I see no other way forward. I guess I get to find myself again!

[–]JudgeDoom692 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hang in there.

Since my divorce I'm so much happier, healthier, and still can't get over how much money I have at the end of the month. Best of all, I'm getting more ass than a toilet seat.

Once you adjust to the change, you'll find you are much better off. Get (or stay) in shape, keep your bank account healthy, and build your social life.

The best revenge is massive success. - Frank Sinatra

[–]dirk626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I appreciate the message!

[–]johneyapocalypse6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

It's dead, man. You've been mourning for 62 days. Time to move on and get over it. That puppy has been tortured and killed and she knows it and you know it.

If Matrix chimes in he'll tell you she did you the biggest favor of your life. She did.

You're a fucking marine. And a cop. People across the country appreciate you for what you've sacrificed and done. Appreciate yourself, man. Stop living this woman's life and live your own.

There's no worse feeling in the entire known universe than the feeling of wallowing in self-pity because your wife has left you. It's not the wife leaving, it's the fucking self-pity.

And I mean it. Knowing for sure - at least believing it at the time - that you're going to die in months - and it's going to be painful and awful and filled with terror - is not as bad and awful and emasculating as the self-pity.

I know. I cried, too, in a fucking bath tub like a little girl and I was pathetic. Grown men called my family fearing I would hurt myself. Humiliating.

It was awful. It is awful. Get past it. No more self-pity.

Move on. You've got part two of this glorious thing called life ahead of you. You've got decades mother fucker.

You know what I would give for decades?

[–]dirk626[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Thanks Johney. I've seen some terrible shit but this is the worst thing I have ever endured and it's just starting. I appreciate that others have been there and provide insight and heart felt experience.

[–]johneyapocalypse4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is not the worst thing you've ever endured and it's not starting, it's ending.

This may feel like the worst thing you've ever endured, but that's just a feeling man. It's not about what happens to you it's about you interpretation of what's happening to you. It's about your emotions, your feelings.

Fuck 'em. Be a rock.

You have much much more power over your emotions than you realize.

  • You can choose to go forward like a man and build a better life.
  • You can choose to read every damn book in that side bar like your life depends on it.
  • You can choose to lift heavy weights and get your endorphins flowing.
  • You can choose to keep kicking ass and losing that fat and replace it with swolestable, ripped muscles.
  • You can choose to appreciate that you have a long, fantastic, exciting, and adventurous life ahead of you.
  • You can choose you instead of riding passively along with your dumbass wife.

Don't chase her. Don't do it. You'll feel like a faggot for life. Keep your dignity in tact.

This is not bad. You're just upset. Get over it. Stay here and absorb. Read about cognitive behavioral therapy. The Feeling Good Handbook will help.

p.s. I detect a hint - or major hints - of desperation and despair in your writings. This is nothing. Imagine being chased and mauled by a dinosaur. Or attacked and speared by the last Mohican. Or being eaten alive by a great white shark.

Butch up pussy. Be a cop. Be a marine. Be a bad motherfucker.

Edit: Logistics.

You may be in a good spot. Yours is relatively unique. Since you're both so chummy you can take advantage of that. I would move quickly, not slowly. Try to "do it together" and have one attorney represent you both, equally, with good things in mind. It may feel creepy - "ah, my wife feels sorry for me, she's going easy on me" - but the ramifications are good.

Every once in a while one of my clients forces me into their inevitably nasty divorces. I get called in to comment on their assets held with us. They're ugly those things. Don't let yours go in that direction. You can actually do your divorce yourselves, many people are these days. But I'm sure many of those people fuck them up.

Milk the sympathy man. Do whatever it takes to keep your bank account as big as possible.

Edit 2: Time.

When I was crying in a bath tub - like the world's biggest vagina - I couldn't imagine a future without this woman. She was a real, live unicorn. Seriously. I was sure of it. The best. My soulmate. Eternity together and all that.

Yet just a few years later she was nothing more than that sixth-grade crush I tripped in the schoolyard, ending our adventures together. You will inevitably get past it and even surprise yourself by how little it actually meant. How insignificant. You might as well fast track that process dude. I've yet to meet a man who didn't get over it.

It's how quickly and how gracefully you can make it happen.

[–]dirk626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you! I neede to read all of that!

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Nice non-main event.

When the papers are drawn up, she is served and the harsh reality that she will be alone with 50%+ more of your money, then come back and tell is how the main event was.

All you did was show your hand.

Just be man enough to go through with it now.

[–]dirk626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Should have used other language I guess...

[–]snatch_haggis3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

This changes nothing. Stay plan is the same as the go plan. So get to work.

You've posted one OYS, 20 days ago. How much of it did you follow through on?

The OYS posts go up every Tuesday. Get in there next week, and every week after, and commit to yourself on what you're gonna do every week to be a better man. Doesn't matter if she comes along or if she doesn't, because she's not who you're doing it for.

[–]dirk626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good advice.

[–]BobbyPeru5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is not a main event. The fact that you think it is a main event shows you have no understanding of what a main event is. u/sepean gave a pretty good brief summary what a main event is.

This sounds more like 2 people getting in a big fight and out-bluffing each other. The odds are about -900 that you won’t follow through.

[–]dirk626[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I wish that was true Bobby, but there was no fight. I thought things were moving along at a pace that gave me time to work. I thought the work I had done was buying me time to further improve myself so that I could have choices. She just said she is done and wants out. Too many years of feeling numb and she wants a fresh start. No more time, no more waiting, changes don't matter cause there is too much baggage. She wants a life without me. She feels guilty so she wants to make the split easy and no court fight. I need to jump on that while I can.

[–]BobbyPeru2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That does give it quite a different context, but it’s still not a main event.

It does sound like she’s thought it through.

Try to keep a DNGAF attitude yet remain cordial is my advice. You have the right attitude about working on yourself.

Every ending is a new beginning, and from the sound of it, the only way you can go is up if you put in the work.

[–]SepeanRed Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

That doesn’t sound like the main event at all. The main event is the final nuclear level shit test after which she internalizes that you’re alpha and steps into your frame. It has a lead up period by increasingly hostile shit tests and hotter sex.

Failing to become attractive and then splitting up is not a main event. It’s just failure.

[–]dirk626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Then I stand corrected. Failure...

[–]Tebulus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sucks, but hopefully you were preparing for this being one of the possibilities from day one. Try to bang some twenty somethings. Also re-read Matrix advice from your last thread. Probably the best thing for you.

[–]throwawaynumber8561 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everyone else has pretty much covered the bases for what to say, so all I have to add is, don’t be stupid, stupid.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Assume and act as if your marriage is over (as it almost certainly is), but this post by /u/bogeyd6 might be of interest if her branch-swing fails.

[–]DanG31 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

CONGRATU-FUCKING-LATIONS! She has set you free! - Free from all the fucking lies, propaganda, deception, mind-fucking promises and vows, slavery and tyranny of ... the “m-word.”

Fear not. We’ve got you. You’ve got us. Carry on!

[–]dirk626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I needed the smile this brought! Thanks

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

Not a main event.

Try reading. Then you will know what a main event is supposed to be.

Let us know how you mourn missing her companionship from 25 years. I met mine around the same time.

I hope all you fuckhead nubees reading this will understand he could have avoided this by doing the work. Seriously.

He could have been the one that pulled the pin because she didn’t keep up or, he would have actually had a main event. Mine was last year in August. She literally stepped right into my frame begging me to to not give up on us.

I play her like an accordion in Dread Level 4, and she has no idea its going on.

Do the work. Learn the terminology. Until then STFU and lift.

How much god damned weight have you lost ?

If it’s over, or close to it. Go join CrossFit It will get you into a community lightening fast of likeminded people and the lard will come off. I joined a CrossFit box and the pussy flows in and out of there

God speed.

[–]dirk626[S] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

Thanks. Ok not main event by TRP/MRP definition. Either way the marriage is over. I have worked my fucking ass of. 51 lbs since Oct 15th. I just figured things out too fucking late. She killed the puppy because I couldn't do it. Too much of a faggot. I wanted more time to do the work, but she had held on long enough. She's afraid she is running out of time... I know what that means.

[–]DanG31 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Yeah, I’ve seen this ... frantic race. It’s very pathetic. But, it’s NOT your concern. Little does she know that she’ll be getting pumped and then dumped. She knows the odds are against her. But, she’ll do it anyway. Your job is to keep on improving - - - to the point at which YOU get to do the choosing.

The secret that THEY know is THEY have been doing the choosing since puberty. They totally hate the reality that come age 28-30 their time is up. Then, fit and attractive Men 35-? get to be the choosers. Enjoy!!

[–]dirk626[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Part of my sadness comes from knowing that she is likely in for a big surprise when this romantic comedy fantasy she has in her head meets reality. Maybe she will get lucky, she is very pretty. The few close friends that I have shared our situation with asked the same question. "What are you going to do when she wants to come back in 6 months to a year?" My initial response was I don't know. My response know is, "I guess she can get in line with the younger, hotter, tighter crowd and see if she gets a turn." I do love her though.

[–]DanG32 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

There are going to be others coming soon to pound on your sad ass for that puke, especially the last sentence. In the meantime... It is very hard to get BP mind-fucked guys to understand, accept and believe this, but you WILL think much differently about her, love, women, etc. as you continue to read and work on yourself. As you turn the tables and become The Prize everything will start changing. You will start to feel your power and see your options, which may conceivably be her. But, you MUST go forward first!!

[–]dirk626[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Oh, I expect a thrashing for that last puke but fuck em! I'd be a sadder mother fucker if I could just blink away 54% of my life without feeling anything. I accept you words are true and I appreciate that you took the time to relay them. They won't go to waste as my journey to being the man I was created to be continues. Mark Twain said, "The two most important days in a mans life is the day he's born, and the day he finds out why." Time to develop a rock solid frame. Time to find out why.

[–]DanG31 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

As part of your work, I’d strongly suggest you do a YouTube search for “Jordan Peterson” and listen to any/all vids related to men/women. Start with this one ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMcjxSThD54&sns=em

[–]lemonjelly1110 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I can think of no other more poetic justice that THEY have been doing the choosing from 17-34 and in the span of a few months, all of that can be flipped around, where they do the begging from 45-64 (then they just give up).

[–]DanG30 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It takes more than a few months- AND it’s a life long, endless marathon. Boys/Men should have been “learning” how to be The Prize since puberty. Instead, they were/are enculturated to be the pleasers in order to gain the favor of women.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good luck and Godspeed.

[–]Alphaphux1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Now don’t go and fuck it all up by getting a girlfriend

[–]DanG32 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly! Get 2, 3, 4 ...

[–]dirk626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fucking A... I've learned enough so far to know that I am done with that silly shit.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Brother, I had a cursory glance at your post history. I am not going to say you should not divorce, but your journey is not complete.

Currently you are early in your transformation, and your wife is the one driving the decision to end it all. She is still in control of the relationship and you are still reacting to her inputs.

Is it too late? By the sounds of it yes, but if you hold off the divorce for a while you will be in a better position coming out at the other end. It will be much better if you are driving that bus to that destination.

How so? It will differ from state to state and from country to country. Where I live you have 2 options, the high court and the lower courts. Typically, the pissed off wife walks into a shiny glass clad high rise and goes to see a senior lawyer in a mohair suite. He convinces her to sue you in the high courts and initiates proceedings. She is clueless and goes along with it. The high courts are fully booked about a year in advance and the case is often dragged out over a period of two years.

In contrast, you go and file for divorce through the low courts. Through the lawyers you both agree to a split of the assets and it is presented in the low court to the judge and it is over. Three to six months.

YOU MUST DRIVE THIS.

In the event of a divorce, don't stop improving, you have a way to go and will fall into the same traps on the other side if you are not prepped.

[–]dirk626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks Litz. I have a ton of work to do on myself and I will keep working on the MAP. I posted once in OYS but will make that a weekly ritual for accountability. She is affable and wants to split assets fairly (already discussed and agreed). She has not talked to an attorney yet.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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