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FR: wherein I try to cultivate abundance with the oldest, rustiest tool on my farm, the cold daytime approach.

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Senor_Martillo
January 19, 2018
11 upvotes
askMRP

Abstract: 2 months into map. Working out every day, lifting, trail running and mt. biking. 6'2/200/15%. Working hard on OI with some notable slips. Wife of 16 years showing some signs of life, but I have a long way to go. Finances, hobbies, kids, all good.

I started noticing IOIs about a month in, and decided I needed to work on my approach. One of them is a cute little brunette I see on the ferry. She's given me some good lingering glances a few times, so this morning I go introduce myself while we're boarding and she is all ears. We go get a seat together and it's full on flirtation. My goal at this point is to get a date with her, then let her know it will be completely platonic. I'm not planning on cheating or puppy-killing at this point.

First few minutes are basic small talk, where do you work, where do you live blah blah blah. She's got a few big red flags for suitability ("I'm an empathy educator for an international non-profit") but I DGAF cuz I have no intention of dating this lady. Divorced with two kids, no surprise there at my age. She's also got a rock hard body and some great bolt-ons, so I'm trying to stay focused. At one point she mentions she's still tired and is about to lie down on me and have a nap. I'm thinking I'm a golden god of seduction, chatting with the first chick I'm openly hitting on in 20 fucking years.

It takes her about 10 minutes to ask if I'm still married, to which I can only respond "yeah..". Talk about caught flat footed. Of all the fucking obvious questions to not be prepared for. At that point it's pretty much needle-off-the-record. She retreats back into small talk. We get to the dock, and I figure I have to complete the experiment. "So you want to grab a drink on the way home?" She looks at me incredulously: "Nice to meet you, Senor" and she's off.

TLDR: opened a random 7 on the way to work, for the first time since the 90's. Could have closed for sure, but was totally unprepared for a 100% predictable line of conversation. Dumb fuck.


Post Information
Title FR: wherein I try to cultivate abundance with the oldest, rustiest tool on my farm, the cold daytime approach.
Author Senor_Martillo
Upvotes 11
Comments 23
Date 19 January 2018 10:12 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204923
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7rlzio/fr_wherein_i_try_to_cultivate_abundance_with_the/
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MAPabundancecheatingONSlift
Comments

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret13 points14 points  (7 children) | Copy

Good. Didn't hurt half as much as a hard "no" from the wife right?

That callous will only get thicker as you bat below the Mendoza Line for your first 20 attempts, but simultaneously, you'll give fewer fucks and as you get more acclimated, learn from your errors, and (must too) get more attractive from the lifting, dieting, wardrobe, you'll learn OI and gain abundance mentality.

Take your swings.

[–]johneyapocalypse2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Strong, strong answer. MRP in 70 words or less.

Should be newbie required reading before passing go.

Well done.

[–]SeamusAwl0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Great advice. I havent swung at any pitches, but i am up at the plate. Lots of flirting and i have gotten some IOIs.

[–]johneyapocalypse0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Skip the flirting and go right to the close. Seriously. No point in wasting time, the ramifications are the same, and you get to choose the outcome either way. Flirting is for children. Closing is for Gordon Gekko and greed is good.

p.s. You don't have to close-close but you'll know - for sure - when you can.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

One can't be a good man without first having the option to do something else.

A man without options isn't a saint, he's powerless.

[–]johneyapocalypse0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When I was a kid I skipped the training wheel phase. I fell a lot and it hurt, but I got where I wanted to get even faster and otherwise more experienced.

Much like the poster above, I had options. I simply chose differently and still do.

[–]captainVSI0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I was hesitant until your ps. I think flirting is fine. It’s quite fun too if the girl knows how to play. Closing for real (fucking some strange) is not necessary. I do however think it’s necessary to know without a doubt that you can if you wanted to.

[–]johneyapocalypse2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I do however think it’s necessary to know without a doubt that you can if you wanted to.

Yah, that was my long-winded point. You said it better. :-)

When I was younger I always noticed two types of guys: (1) the pussy hounds who reeked of testosterone and pounced like wild dogs and (2) the flirters who talked a lot.

The wild dogs were always a site to behold.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

So when in doubt, gaming like the weak kneed zit faced boy you are, lie. “Not much longer”. Etc.

Amazing how perky tits nipples pop as I twist my ring and say, “it’s just a bad habit, gonna have to remember to put it in a drawer....”

Building abundance takes work. Practice makes perfect and as I have learned, the SO says less much less often as if her radar has gone off that I emit ability to close, confidently

You will be absolutely shocked as you tighten up your body fat and wear fitting wardrobe.

[–]Senor_Martillo0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Dammit! You are right on the money. Of course my Monday quarterback was like "hey fuckwit; how about answering with an alternative like "yeah married for now" "yeah but it's only like a legal contract" "yeah but she's been in a coma for 12 years".

Back to the grind.

[–]johneyapocalypse0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Screech is right. It's in our blood. Call it sales, call it embellishment, call it outright lying . If it gets you past the finish line, it's gold.

Hell, I recently told a woman I needed her to give me Spanish lessons. I'm a gringo after all. Thing is, I already speak fluent Spanish. But she's so... well, you know.

You're just a little rusty, but you'll get it back.

I like your story. Reminds me of a ferry ride to nantucket or martha's vineyard. Felt like I was right there with you.

[–]Chinchilla_the_Hun0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Shit, where were you with this nugget a few months ago? I was on a business trip for a week and decided to dust out the cobwebs and make several approaches like OP. Conversation with one nibble got to the point where she starts saying stuff like "you keep in good shape, how come you're not married?" I just sheepishly shrug, look at my ring, and then she backpedals.

[–]BobbyPeru3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s good practice and builds abundance regardless.

Take that as a positive that she backed off as soon as you said your marital status - confirms her interest.

My general rule is if an attractive woman gives me a few seconds of eye contact, I approach. It gets easier because you become more comfortable and natural. I’ve also done some dread level 8, and the wife definitely noticed and was dreaded. Don’t go to 8 until you’re well practiced though.

[–]Alphaphux2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Awesome bro, keep lifting, one day her response will be “I guess it’s my place then”

[–]NoCoast821 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is one of my long term goals (6 mon)

So what she lost interest when she found out you were married? Now you have the knowledge that if you weren't married you could of closed the deal with Little Miss Bolt On's. That gives you a lot of hope if shit goes to shit at home.

You have options, you have power

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You need to work on your poker face.

Unless she thinks you are not holding back, and want to close expect more of these to come your way.

Are you married is as big as a shit test as do you have a girlfriend.

They don’t care, it is just a test to see if you are man enough to take what you want.

I don’t wear a ring. Never have since the wedding day. Are you wearing a ring?

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol, live and learn.

[–]PeggedByOwlette0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well fucking done man. I loved reading this!

[–]BigAjax0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good fucking job. The more you do it, the more you'll know about what to expect and the better prepared you'll be for when you hit something you haven't seen before.

[–]SeamusAwl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Never really thought about closing (i.e catch and release). I am just having fun with the flirting.

[–]Marcus_Aurtrillius0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Dude, have you not read dontdreadpirates advice on plates for MRP? It's sidebar material. He answers this exact question ("Are you married?"). If you had read that, you would've been prepared and probably closed.

Nice practice though. I recently n-closed a chick at a bar. Catch and release, just practicing. Struck out a couple times too. Nice to get back out there though, and get the feeling of abundance.

Keep it up.

[–]captainVSI0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s also great for loosening up verbally/mentally. Going into “pick up” situations repeatedly with OI has the potential of building up more of the casual form of NGAF. This will build into muscle memory for when talking w the SO.

Not proven but this is my opinion/experience anyway.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's early for me so I saw the word farm and then immediately saw the word heroin so I thought to myself this guy needs to chill out.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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