I am early 50's and my wife is mid 40's. We have two kids who are now in college so I no longer worry about child support. For years we had a lousy marriage, she was a nag and we rarely had sex. I failed in some regards. I was out of shape and lacked frame a lot of DEERing an whatnot. However, I provided a great life for my wife and kids. Top .1% of income so my family never wanted for anything. I did feel that this entitled me to sex and respect. I do not care that she wasn't attracted to me. Just so long as I got sex and respect. However, she failed to uphold what I thought was a basic bargain.
Then, 2.5 years ago I get a heart attack. I recover and am in the best shape of my life. If you would have told me I would have a six pack in my 50's I'd have been floored. I also read up on stoicism to control my blood pressure and to be unaffected by outside actions. My frame and fitness massively improved and coincidentally so did my marriage. Then, I found the redpill a few months ago and I seemingly cannot shake this feeling of rage towards my wife. It's at the point where the joy of seeing her disappointed of being denied sex is far better than the sex itself. Sometimes my unkindness seeps out into the open. I effusively praised my brother's wife for what she made for Thanksgiving while ignoring my wife's subpar food because I know this digs at her.
So my question is, is there a way back from this? I wouldn't mind divorce. I'd lose about 25% of my money but no big deal as I have a lot. My kids are in college so no worries there. I could easily find a younger more beautiful woman. I almost see fighting for my marriage as chasing down someone who stole a rotten apple from me when I can go to the orchard and pick a new one. Would love to hear some advice on this especially from the older guys.