Short background: 43 yrs, about 4 months in, married, toddler + 4 yr old, on dread level 1-2 lifting 3 times/week, Paleo diet, good physique, sex about once/week and usually crappy.

Not sure if this is progress or not, when wife expresses she wants to sleep in my arm/on my chest but says "just sleep, if you try something/keep me awake I move away".

Not sure how to respond to this, I also find it nice to be close to a female, but I find sex nicer. Should I explicitly explain that this is something I want to do after sex? (pillow sharing, cuddling etc.) Or should I just say "No thanks, I'd like to sleep on my own" and do that? Or should I even say explicitly that I find it frustrating to be close without sex (I guess not...)? Or should I don't sleep in the same bed at all? What would you do/what did you do in this situation?

To clarify, what i mean is, can fulfilling her need of sexless closeness have a negative effect on lust and passion? Or won't it make any difference either way?