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When the wife's best friend is getting divorced...

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December 10, 2017

So the wife's BFF is going through a nasty divorce. The details are unimportant, but suffice it to say she'll be looking for a new lay here sooner rather than later, probably a beta comfort fuck. The bff in question is a fitness instructor, in obviously good shape, and fairly attractive, as is my wife, who works out with her 4-5x a week. They are both way post-wall (early 40's and multiple kids), but still cougars capable of taking down a younger buck if they were so inclined. My best friend went through an amicable divorce two years ago, and I know from experience that the process begets some serious "grass is greener" syndrome. I would flip through his tinder account looking at all the hoes, imagining how much pussy I would be tagging in his shoes. I have a decent, but not great, dread game (maybe DL4) after several years of dancing monkey improvement game, and a month or so of taking MRP more seriously. In my possibly flawed analysis, instilling dread is the absolute antidote to "grass is greener". So my question is this:

What are the implications of friends divorces, of both sexes, as it relates to dread levels, nexting, branch swinging, etc? Are there any strategies or experiences you've seen or been through to shift the situation to your advantage?

Post Information
Title When the wife's best friend is getting divorced...
Author Senor_Martillo
Upvotes 8
Comments 19
Date 10 December 2017 01:44 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
betabranch swingingdread gamegamenexting

[–]BobbyPeru16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

1) Don’t mate guard. (Observe quietly)

2) DGAF unless you see major red flags (Again, observe)

3) Work on you (Focus on lifting/mission - the stay plan should become the same as the go plan to the point it doesn’t matter if she decides to branch swing).

4) Quit future tripping (worrying will only break down your frame and make you weaker)

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy

My thought is that when your wife has a lot of friends who are divorced or are getting divorced, that is not something to take lightly. These are people who influence your wife, consciously or unconsciously. The answer is internalizing the red pill and the sidebar. Lift, be awesome, have fun with your wife, and lead yourself, her, and your family. Operate consistently at dread level five, which honestly we all should be doing anyway.

I would think that children of divorce are more apt to divorce rather than if friends are divorcing, but I haven't looked up any studies on that.

[–]GotSeoul4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy


Her friend will tell her stories of 'her husband did this ...' and 'her husband did that ...' If your wife can be influenced by the 'all men are dogs ...' that will come from the divorcee you might want to look for signs of things being projected onto you.

The reason I say this is that I had a significant other who had a good friend go through a nasty divorce and used to tell all sorts of stories about her experience to my significant other. Shortly later my girlfriend started in on me about my actions sometimes, citing 'her husband x and she found it was y, you seem to be doing something similar.'

This activity was unacceptable behavior to me and directly lead to me cutting off a 2-year relationship with someone I really did care about. I just wasn't willing to put up with the unfounded BS that became a regular thing while she was friends with this person.

I've observed similar situations amongst some of my friends who have ended up getting divorced over the past decade or so. I also made the mistake of dating a women that was going through a divorce. Don't do that. I had to stop that too as I got tired of having to explain that I am not her ex-husband .... her behavior towards me became unacceptable so I had to get out of that too.

[–]straius0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

To my knowledge, the stats demonstrate that children of divorce are more likely to get divorced. In the study I read, there was no discussion about causality (it's biggest weakness), it was presented as an implied presumed negative (study had some religious backing).

Anecdotally, as a child of divorce, when the world doesn't end with the divorce and life goes on, divorce isn't quite as scary.

Until you have kids anyway.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

So I have been in three camps.

Wife’s friends divorcing.

Wife’s friends husbands making a ton of cash career moving up.

Wife’s menopause friends don’t sleep in the same room, husbands aren’t allowed to touch them and they suddenly stop fucking. Because they all stop fucking, right ?

So how do you handle all this ?

1- Frame It’s your life

2- idgaf Do what you need to, but I have a boundaries. Boundaries of many ideals

3- abundance. I can pick up a chick in any city - drill that into your head

4- do not mate guard

5- dread.

I have always operated in the RP standard thanks to my father, kept in good shape while many got guts and sloppy. This is like 99%

Women aren’t stupid. My wife was having some serious doubt about a cunt that has kids the same age as ours. She gave my wife “Five Love Lang” and told my wife to tell me to read it .... I laughed and stated “you bring that bitch’s problems into the marriage or that dip shit across the street, and you will not like where it goes.... “ Those two cunts are literally just fucking psycho, both marriages in total shambles

Same thing with menopause. I verbalized a few boundaries and stood firm. Lots of improvements

Like I said. Women aren’t stupid. You have to be of high value.

Dread is your best defense. It really is. I will tell you, that if you are fuckably attractive in any situation, your battle is 50% won. Frame as you know is the other 50%

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

My wife has a couple girlfriends that are either divorced, or going though the process.

Anytime the topic comes up with my wife, she shows her appreciation to have me as her husband. The sex or BJ that follows later, well lets just say she makes it know she loves her man.

If you are worried about a branch swing because her BFF is getting divorced then your doing it wrong.

[–]Senor_Martillo0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I'm trying, bro. I'm trying.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is your chance to establish boundaries.

My wife has at least 3-5 girlfriends that are divorced or becoming. They have GNOs frequently. My wife does not attend their dinner, drink and dancing ones because my wife does not go out to bars dancing and drinking like that.

But she has brunch with them, lunch, etc. She talks to them probably daily at school when she gets the kids. These are long established guardrails of our relationship.

You can use this as an opportunity to set some guardrails if done correctly.

She wants a GNO? Suggest they hook up for brunch or lunch instead. Imagine the conversation taking place before it happens. So when it does, your not stuck wondering what to say.

I would go so far as to just suggest: “Hey I hear your friend is going thru the D. You two should go to lunch or breakfast and catch up”

But all that aside, you really need to work on your DNGAF. If your woman wants to cheat, her BFF getting the D isn’t going to be of any substance.

Finally - Post-wall over 40? Unless your relationship is really on the rocks you over estimate the green grass thing for women. They are looking for provisioning at this age.

More-finally: I would, have and still do AM the fuck out of this. “Yeah it sucks being 40 and getting divorced babe. Your one lucky girl.” With a slap on the ass and a grin that would make The Fonz jelly.

[–]Soberskipper1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yes your wife will be this cougars wingwomen. Yes she's gunna question if the grass is greener. She will have an opportunity to sample this grass when she's with divorcee cougar. Yes some young chads will have thier hands on your wife and her friend if they go out. Literally. Your wife will love it. I would try fuck your wife and the cougar divorcee if I saw them in town. Just been honest. Be attractive, time to really be on top of your game because if your wife is hanging with divorcees who do nothing but man bash than your gunna have to have the frame of an Egyptian pharo. Good luck.

[–]Senor_Martillo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Honesty is why I'm here, my man. I was once young chad, and on two separate occasions, helped myself to a married cougar out on the town with her friends.

I believe you are right on the money. Lifting, frame, and dgaffing. Cheers, gentlemen.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You think these past wall women are gonna date better? Lol. They might spread their legs, but that's not hard. Any woman who is impressed that spreading their legs is an achievement has bought into way too much modern bs.

[–]Aechzen1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In my possibly flawed analysis, instilling dread is the absolute antidote to "grass is greener".

Possibly flawed, indeed.

The only antidote to 'grass is greener' I know is being greener than the grass over there. You kind of got to it by saying dread, but you need to be more precise, and DL4 ain't going to cut it for women like my wife.

  • preselection, real, and in her face. I went out to a social event in a suit with my wife. Most of the women in my wife's presence had never met me. They were pleasantly surprised, and let my wife know.
  • DL7 / DL8, flirting with women in front of your wife. It's best if the woman opens you, but it's not required. I have a lot of fun with this.

Are you the prize? Work on that. It sounds like your wife knows her way around a gym. I hope you do too.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Her friend will want her attention, her sympathy and then want her to go out with her. All of this can be good or bad for you, if your wife enjoys being out with her, instead of feeling like it is a chore, you have problems. Monitor the situation and be ready to deny her permission to go out with her now single friend.

[–]innominating0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Flirt with your wife’s friend and give her tingles.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What are the implications of friends divorces

Divorce is a social disease and your relationship is in serious jeopardy. I guarantee this "friend" bad mouths her husband and all men and plays up the freedom to bang bucks every chance she gets.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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