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I don’t like muscly guys

Reddit View
December 3, 2017

Wife keeps trying to sabotage my weight loss and fitness goals, trying to make me feel excluded from social situations if where we go won’t fit in with my keto diet and now she’s moved from that to telling me she doesn’t like muscly guys, telling me there are certain builds she finds unattractive and footballer / athletic isn’t one of them.

So far the diet is going well, I’ve lost 4 kilos and good recomp and I’m getting very strong even on a calorie deficit, but I’m only 4 weeks in!

Anyone had this before? Is it a shit test? Any advice?

Bit of background on our relationship, been together 8 years, currently living apart but see each other regularly.

Post Information
Title I don’t like muscly guys
Author Famous86
Upvotes 6
Comments 64
Date 03 December 2017 04:00 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
shit test

[–]snatch_haggis36 points37 points  (14 children) | Copy

I’m two years into my map


She moved out a year ago, but I was already on my map and kept going


Should be moving back in together before mid 2018


I got a text saying she saw my snap and my jaw line looks amazing so she’s in my frame now

Goddammit dude. Get the fuck out of her frame.

She is not "in your frame now" because she saw your Snapchat. You do not have a frame.

And I hate to tell you this man, but you don't have a wife either. You have some chick you are orbiting and have raging oneitis for, who moved out. A YEAR ago.

The fact that she can say that crack about muscly guys and it gets your hamster spinning this much means you're nowhere near where you should be in this process, if you've truly been at work on yourself for 2 years.

Were you in a coma for like 18 months of those two years?

You need to get back to work on yourself. Not lifting. Your mindset. Your MAP appears to be based on the Dancing Monkey Attraction Improvement Plan, which isn't a MAP at all.

[–]Alphaphux23 points24 points  (5 children) | Copy

She’s full of shit

“I don’t like Muscly guys” equals “I would hate it if you got muscly because then I would have to get off my fat ass and try and keep up with you”

[–]Famous86[S] -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

She’s actually very slim and attractive, probably a 8 or 9... though she’s just got good genetics she doesn’t eat well or work out.

[–]Alphaphux12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah until that lifestyle catches up to her - the older you get the harder you have to work at the gym.

She’s not special. Women prefer fit guys with good physiques - AWALT. She’s just making sure your SMV stays below hers so she can branch swing when a better offer comes along.

[–]TheVitaminD1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What are your and her ages?

[–]Famous86[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mid 20s

[–]rebbit_reddit20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

For years when I was married my ex would say “I don’t like muscular guys”. Then one day I asked her who she found attractive and she named two of my friends who are both tall and one is really built.

So I started working out harder. As I got bigger pecs she said “I don’t like pecs. I like big arms”.

When my arms got bigger she said “I don’t like big arms. I like big shoulders.”

On the night we broke up she said “I don’t find you physically attractive. I never have and I don’t think I ever could”.

Now I realise what she meant was “I find beta men repulsive”

[–]WhiteTrashKillerRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Actually what she meant was, if she wanted this muscular you she would have went after your two friends! By starting off with a SMV deficit, no matter how much you work she will only see you as that because she chose to settle for the lesser you!

Now she is thinking "who the fuck is this asshole, the reason I chose him was because I didn't have to work to keep him and now I am expected to bust my ass for something I never even wanted in the first place".

That is why she is to be used as an educational reference while you improve yourself, making the new you into a man that somebody else only knows as the high quality male you've become. You'll never be above her cause she only sees the old you, just wearing a new costume......

[–]SimilarSalvation9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

You're trying to logic apart every single response you get in this thread like you're playing some video game - /u/snatch_haggis ©

I smell troll..

  • account created today
  • DEERs every reply
  • avoids every question
  • no background
  • says he read the book, never ever displays any knowledge or understanding of basic concepts
  • incoherent post
    • lost 4 kilos and 35 kg
    • gets strong on 4 weeks in - squats double body weight
    • lives apart since a year, still gives about his wifes? opinion
    • his map takes 15; no 18; no 24 months...


please provide more (and coreherent) background on you, your situation and your question. This is getting us nowhere...

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah troll. Lot of them lately.

[–]snatch_haggis2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I blocked him.

I don't think he's a troll, but I do think he's lying about almost everything he's saying and his ego won't let him admit he hasn't done any of the work. Maybe the wife is just some chick he likes and he's 14. I dunno.

Anyway, maybe this advice will make a dent somewhere in his cranium eventually.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

How about do whatever you want to do for you?

My wife tried to tell me the opposite last week, “I love that you’re working out for me”....I told her I’m not doing it for her or anyone else, I’m doing it for me.

That reply would work just as well for your wife. If you’re doing it right, you’re not getting muscular for her, you’re doing it for you.

“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.


[–]Famous86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Spot on, I wanna see what I can do performance wise, I’m already squatting over double my body weight at deficit, I’d love to see where I can get that with specific training and diet.

[–]MRPFuckMe18 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah my wife and I lived apart. It didn't work out.

[–]Famous86[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Should be moving back in together before mid 2018

[–]WesternhagenWinner5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Only if you don't get too muscly (eye roll).

[–]rocknrollchuck4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah keep telling yourself that.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't like muscly guys

"That's weird...most other women seem to." End scene.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yup, and then a few days later you will notice her feeling up your muscles. Girls like muscles. Ignore her and keep lifting because you want to. It's a shit test and likely everyone here who all of the sudden started lifting got the same test in some form or another.

Now, she may not be into the dudes on those strongman competitions tossing VW Beetles around. I think most women don't realize how difficult it is to build and maintain muscle. That is why most of them are afraid to pick up a weight because they think they will look like an American Gladiator chick. It is part shit test and her saying make sure your biceps stay smaller than your head.

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Classic crab-bucket shit test. If she didn't like it, she'd leave you. She hasn't, ergo, she does.


"I don't like muscly guys"

"You don't?"




"I don't like muscly guys"

"Do you want me to stop going to the gym?"

"yes" or "no"

"okay" (in either case, you keep going.)


"I don't like muscly guys"

"I know, right?"

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just another one here to assure you that she "really means" what she is saying. But her hind brain, the part of the brain that gets her horny and wet, wants you to be trim and muscular.

The problem is, you can't talk to her hind brain directly as it doesn't understand words, only understands actions.

Her front brain is afraid that it will become a slut if she listens to her hind brain. Her front brain is certain that the nicely toned and muscled body that her hind brain wants, will get her into trouble and she would be thought a slut.

Your job is to allow her front brain to say this, while nodding that you understand what she is saying. At the same time, do the things you need to do to be muscly and toned like her hind brain likes.

I remember all of this you describe with my wife. Today she enjoys touching those muscles, that she still claims she does not like.

Thus the truth: Watch what she does, not what she says.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

Textbook increase in shit testing.

She sees you changing. This is not under her control.

So, she has to check and see if you're changing for reals, or it's just another phase and you'll soon fall back under pussy control.

Willing to bet you are/were The Drunk Captain

Keep your foot on the gas. But don't floor it...because it'll rock the boat too much too soon and she'll wrestle back control.

Here is your pacing metric.

[–]Famous86[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

A month of keto and Intermittent fasting changes a man :) thanks for the post I’ll have a read

[–]Famous86[S] -2 points-1 points  (5 children) | Copy

Ahh already read this, I’m two years into my map, lost over 35kg, other parts of my map are good just need to work on the social side.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy


Suggest you jump on over to r/marriedredpill and read/participate in the Own Your Shit Weekly thread.

Great insights, and it keeps you honest.

There's a lot of missing info about your life and myself and others here obviously think there are buried leads that are stifling your progression. Use the template in OYS and open up... it's an anonymous forum, and if you can drop the ego there's often nuggets to be found.

Two years in she shouldn't just be "starting to notice".

Two years in you should be just about at the top of the dread ladder.

Two years in you should be fucking high volumes of other women.

Or have gotten back together with your HB 8-9 wife.

Two years in you should know the concept of wife goggles.


[–]Famous86[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Thanks for the comment.

“As far as just starting to notice” every time I get a big win with work education gym etc i don’t brag to her, I’ve just got a really good role and have gotten through my weight loss plateau with strict keto and IF for 4 weeks, I think that the just starting to notice part is coming from social proof from other women, friends and colleagues.

She moved out a year ago, but I was already on my map and kept going..

I am outcome independent.. so I think this thread and mrp are both appropriate.

[–]SimilarSalvation3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

She moved out a year ago, but I was already on my map and kept going..

Should be moving back in together before mid 2018

I don't know the details of your arrangement so could you eleborate on this? I find it very strange you are leaving apart for more than a year and that you still care about her opinion.

But I don't want to guess or judge and that's why we need some more background on this...

[–]Famous86[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Tell me what you need to know?

[–]SimilarSalvation3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I need to know nothing... but my post pretty much covered my question..

It is difficult to give sound advice if we don't have any specifics to go on.. But since you are very vague on this subject (in reply to other peoples comments), I guess you don't want to share..

no biggie, but generic info begets generic advice...

[–]WesternhagenWinner7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy

Living apart from your wife? WTF? You listen to her opinions about diet and exercise when she's obviously banging other dudes?

[–]creating_my_life5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t like muscly guys

"I don't like how much harder I'm going to have to work to keep you interested in me and not younger, hotter, prettier women when you get all muscly."

[–]blarggggggggggg2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

trying to make me feel excluded from social situations if where we go won’t fit in with my keto diet

OYS, own your diet/eating. Wtf is a social situation that won't fit with keto diet, a fucking pie eating contest? Just skip the potatos, order a damn salad, eat before you go, bring some snacks, whatever, just fucking handle it, drink a club soda w/ lime, it's not that hard.

[–]Famous86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Was a pizza place, changed the restaurant, she complained and tried to shame me for dieting and how it’s inconvenient, I laughed it off and handled it.

[–]wildnight98MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have had great results from Keto + IF also. This week wife told me “I don’t like skinny boys.” I’m not changing anything.

[–]albus_scirocco1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's just trying to keep your market value below hers. When she says "I don't like muscly guys", respond with "my other girls do", with a sly grin, so she doesn't know if you're joking or not.

Hopefully you're not, because dude, you're not living together. You should be spinning plates.

[–]AustralianArm1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I had the exact same shit test early on.

Fast forward 6 months and she loves it.

She just doesn't want to make an effort YET. It will happen. Just STFU and keep moving forward.

Small tip though: Don't be so hardline about your keto diet. Do what you need to do but DO NOT let her say where you can and can't go based on your diet. You can go to all social events, eat a little bit or nothing and keep your keto all other times.

[–]Senor_Martillo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Usually shit is a brown color, not transparent.

[–]DeeMooreDeeMarriet0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yet ANOTHER Blooper troll post. WTF?

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

“Currently living apart.... “

And, you actually respond to this shit ?

So what in the fuck do you actually want ?

[–]bowhunter60 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, you sound like a giant pussy with no frame.

Frame is everything. Lifting and reading are critical, surely, but they are useless without frame.

Get a frame.

[–]CoinsOnTheMoon-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

Did you know this when you got married?! And making your life better for yourself should be encouraged by her. Dang I can't even believe that

[–]Famous86[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

No I didn’t know this when we got married,m. She does this with my study or work as well the second I have something important on she starts a fight. So I knew this was coming haha

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good on you to not be distracted from your mission

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

NEXT, seriously. Don’t be a dumb fuck . You can do better bro

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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