TLDR: Wife has been a bitch lately. I STFU about it for days before a main event kicked off. I held my frame and she folded like a deck of cards. It was definitely worth while.
I post quite a lot so there’s a fair bit of background if you really want it all. The summary though is that I swallowed the pill a year ago. I saw big successes 9 months in, but the wife needed to go back to her home country for 5 weeks. Regrettably, I showed signs of being weak, lonely and dependent. Low and behold upon her return she was back to her old disrespectful ways and she was back to not being attracted to me anymore. My fault I know.
The first was her huge blow up over me turning off the air conditioner in my house – I victim puked about it here. The second was her silent treatment going on 4 days because I didn’t like a pet name she insisted on (I OYS commented about it). By the 4th day of her stone cold silent treatment, I was growing frustrated. (boohoo I know), but I didn’t show any sign of it, I carried on OMS and keeping busy. I considered at times just telling her I am done with her, I wasn’t getting any value from her, she was either being a bitch or giving me the silent treatment. She hadn’t uttered a word to me in 4 days when this happened:
It was my monthly rostered day off from work coming up, she still had to work. She literally works across the road and 300 metres up. Literally a 3 minute walk. She drives our one personal car to work (I don’t know why, laziness I guess. I have a semi work vehicle which I leave at work on weekends. As it was my rostered day off the next day I thought I would go fishing.
ME: “Can you walk to work please tomorrow, I want to take the car fishing.”
SO: “You can walk to my work and get it.”
I STFU for a minute. I knew this was going to erupt the volcano. But I was literally done with being treated like this.
ME calmly: “Actually no, I need to pack fishing gear, you can walk.” As I grab the keys and put them in my pocket and walk off.
SO screams: “How fucking dare you, you can’t just go and change everything because you have the day off work”.
Me holding frame: “I’m just taking my car fishing in the morning, you can walk 2 minutes to work”.
SO: Hysteria, Scream, shout, shout, scream.
Me: Broken record, calmly.
SO: “I am done with this, I am leaving you.”
ME: “If that’s what you need to do, go for it. You know where the airport is, I’ll even buy you the ticket”. (She’s in the country on a marriage visa).
This was her old go to weapon (threats of divorce). It wasn’t going to work anymore. I was sick of her shit lately, and I felt I deserve better. Her attitude started to change, she switched from shouting to straight out loud sobbing. This was the only difficult point for me, I hate seeing her sobbing because I could see how upset she was. But I just sat there, not doing or saying anything. She sobbed and cried loudly for a few minutes.
SO through her tears: “Why are you being like this, is there any other reason?”.
ME: “I just want to take my car fishing in the morning. If you are going to leave me then I’m ok with that, I feel I deserve and could get better than you.”
SO through her sobbing: “Please just tell me if there’s someone else or if there’s any other reasons.”
She came and grabbed me and hugged me, balling her eyes out, clinging to me, and kept asking if I still loved her or if there was someone else.
End of story. I caught fish the next day. She has been on her absolute best behavior since. Sex twice over the weekend, constantly showing and giving me physical attention. Made me slow cooked ribs and even watched sport with me (never happened before). Completely upbeat and happy mood. I’m so glad I stood up to her shit.