How to Handle Demand for Unwarranted Apology Well?

Rian_Stone · 2017-11-25T17:06:55+00:00

so as not to miss the only action I have going at the moment

There's your issue. Laugh at her demands. Go find somewhere else to be for a few hours. If it happens again, double the time.

Bonus points if you can actually find someone who wants to touch your dick

hystericalbonding · 2017-11-25T15:41:26+00:00

She can only wield sex as a weapon if you allow it. Why do you want to have sex with this woman so much that you'll sacrifice your own self-respect? Pussy is pussy.

Stop thinking of the tools in WISNIFG as a means to get other people to do things. They are tools that you can use to maintain your self-respect. Stop trying to control her behavior. Better yet, stop giving a fuck about her behavior. Look after yourself.

Your next book should be the subtle art of not giving a fuck.

SteelToeShitKicker · 2017-11-25T17:51:48+00:00

I'm trying to initiate she is saying how if I want to get some action then we "need to discuss a few things."

"Talking is not what I had in mind." Then continue.

matrixtospartanatLV · 2017-11-25T19:07:48+00:00

I went back through your post history and found your problem.

You’ve been at this for 36 days of a minimum course expectation of 14 months for phase one of ingesting the Red Pill by MRP standards.

Compounding your problem is that you are a smart motherfucker, think deeply about shit, you are a master negotiator, and probably bank pretty well.

And at the end of the day, all of that doesn’t amount to a cup of warm piss to your wife on a cold day, because while you are Alpha as fuck in the courtroom, you are an equally big beta pussy in your deadbedroom.

Read this, counselor, and read it again as many times as it takes to be able to teach it to someone else;

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2lpafb/the_12_step_plan_of_dread_book_excerpt_from_my/

You are looking for DL6-7 results from a maximum time investment of DL2.

You might be able to get to DL6 in 30 days, on paper, but it will still take HER a minimum of six fucking months to see the real changes and respond to them in a seminal way.

Time to get with the program, the MRP program. If you’d like an outline of the sidebar, let me know.

And before you post again, read this;

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/4z84w5/posting_quality_guide_for_rmarriedredpill/

Please realize the following;

Your education, Alpha status, and $$$ work against you in this situation.

Your EGO is your biggest problem.

Kill your ego, do the fucking work, all of it, and I’ll bet your wife is crawling to you on her hands and knees, naked, begging to swallow your cum in less than a year.

You don’t need to ask me how I know that.

Now,

STFU

and

Do the fucking work.

Work over time equals success.

gettingmymojoback · 2017-11-25T16:20:51+00:00

This is a big hurdle to get over when you’re still a recovering nice guy. It’s a learned skill like anything else.

IF you have nothing to apologize for, then just don’t. She can make all the demands she wants. Be as distant as she wants to be, only you can choose wether or not her emotions will affect you. It’s not your job to fix her feels.

Would she apologize to you if she feels she hasn’t made a mistake?

Learn to take comfort in the discomfort. Saying “sorry” so you can get back to sex next week just puts her back on the pedestal and you beneath her. Remember that.

Now only you can be the judge of you actions. IF you have in fact erred and are in the wrong, then I would say man up for your actions. Depending on the severity a “sorry, my bad” may be warranted. More than likely a simple “mistakes we made” will suffice.

I’d rather deal with the deep freeze for a year than apologize when none is warranted now. Last time my wife tried this she lasted a day. My response to her demand for an apology the next day?

“I’m sorry you misinterpreted me, I’m moving on from this if you care to join me”.

She accused me of saying “sorry, not sorry”. I laughed and said “that’s why I married you, you don’t miss anything”.....grabbed her, twirled her around, gave her a kiss and grabbed her ass, put her down in the other room and walked away.

She could choose to stay mad, or join me in getting back to having fun. She chose the latter.

Refusing to get sucked into her feels is the best way to deal with it. GIVE LESS FUCKS.

Taipanshimshon · 2017-11-25T21:42:11+00:00

"we need to talk" is powertalk for "I am going to yell at you and try to make you feel bad"

why would you submit yourself to this?

"We need to talk"

you have three basic options. Ignore and laugh. Not be there and laugh.

The third you are not ready for. Because you still care about getting pussy from her.

my most recent verbal answer to "we need to talk" sounded something like "Nah, I am going over to Stacy's house. She said something about Netflix"

StandardIlluminant · 2017-11-25T16:02:02+00:00

she is saying how if I want to get some action then we "need to discuss a few things."

Oh boy. I can see the "I'd like to talk to the manager" haircut from here.

I am tempted to give in and make the stupid apology so as not to miss the only action I have going at the moment.

You don't get what you deserve in life. You get what you put up with. Written another way: patterns. This (weaponized transactional sex, and an attempt to emotionally manipulate you through silent treatment) is the pattern of your relationship. In order to break the pattern, the exact last thing you want to do it to repeat it one more time.

tell her to shove it up her ass and keep it. In my mental rehearsals (bad I know) we get to discussing the "big D" about two sentences later.

This is the anger phase. It will pass. Watch out you don't let the anger talk for you.

I am preparing to try fogging her but I don't think it is going to work.

That's because you're not used to doing it. See how you just acknowledge that her going broken record is enough to break your frame? Instead of seeing that as proof that she's overpowering you and you're helpless, see it as a demonstration that holding frame and sticking to you guns a la WISNIFG actually works, and can work for you too.

You have a golden week of opportunities to do your own shit and stop spinning in your head about this. And worse case, think of the old Bill Burr bit about the woman chaining the refrigerator door closed while the man has a sandwich in his pocket. An unlimited sandwich. Worst case, rub one out like a man...

snatch_haggis · 2017-11-25T18:42:37+00:00

So IMO you need 100% outcome independence and to be mentally prepared for monk mode.

You have someone who doesn't respect you and is using sex as a weapon in an unhealthy way. You don't need to threaten divorce or anything else, you just need to 100% embrace the idea that you may not get laid for awhile and you don't give a fuck.

If you continue to do that, continue to become more attractive, and continue to have a life outside of her, she'll figure it out eventually.

she is saying how if I want to get some action then we "need to discuss a few things."

If you can 100% hold frame, you may be able to just give her a listen but not give any ground. That's not gonna be easy and is gonna require you to hold off from anger or butthurt at a whole litany of bullshit complaints that are ultimately just designed to test your frame.

In my case I had to weather a bunch of cold spells to kill the covert contracts, and it took several months.

I know we say not to talk about fight club, and I don't, but under similar circumstances to yours, I have said "I'm not going to negotiate sex anymore, you either want to fuck me or you don't. You aren't rewarding me with your pussy for being a good boy, you want to fuck just as much as I do."

Saying something like that without anger, and following through on it isn't easy, but it can be done.

IMO it's also okay to own your failures if the grievances she wants to talk about are truly valid, but IMO you should do that without sex being on the table, like on the nights she pulls the negotiation shit, you listen to her talk about whatever she wants to, and then you get up to go do something else afterwards, so it's clear you're not interested in honoring the terms of the covert contract.

Don't let her ring Pavlov's bell, and every time she tries, just let her know you do that hear it, and you're not interested in being her performing dog.

rocknrollchuck · 2017-11-25T16:04:18+00:00

Which do you want more: sex now, which means groveling and a loss of self-respect, or real change which starts now but may mean a temporary loss of sex with your wife?

Hint: you can't have both at this stage. Go for long-term results.

SorcererKing · 2017-11-25T19:30:37+00:00

Seems like this might be a timely lesson for you as well.

screechhater · 2017-11-25T16:29:14+00:00

Man alive, STFU is about just being quiet when you really have nothing to say, it’s not a phase

As a matter of fact, if you act deaf, dumb and mute, Strange Love Rambo is in control

You are missing that you need to lift, read and use “STFU” in situations of feelz dumping, verbal diarrhea of her tough day, accusations of you being a shitty captain with no good response, until you slowly respond from a position of uttering AA/AM from your frame that is not influenced from anger, covert contracts or eye fir eye aggressiveness

No matter what, everyday, and every conversation should be direct and NOT influenced by the shitty OP’s frame controlling previous behavior, or comments

At 50, you have enough life experience to look back and analyze your transactions with all women and think about your disposition in conversations going your way. Therefore, you compose and influence future interactions with those experiences.

In regards to your SO and you weak-sauce behavior Read this book concentrating on Lesson 8, then the part of of Womanese

BobbyPeru · 2017-11-25T18:27:02+00:00

Yeah, you’re taking her too seriously.

Like others said, leave if she intolerable. Don’t do it in a butthurt or confrontational way though. That’s the key because if you act butthurt it will only feed into it.

wildnight98 · 2017-11-25T20:29:04+00:00

Yep. Thanks.

wildnight98 · 2017-11-25T20:31:40+00:00

Yeah, OI. It’s like I️ missed it completely.

crimson_chris · 2017-11-25T21:35:13+00:00

Can't figure out much about you via your post (or history). But, typically a dead bedroom is the result of being a shitty man/husband.

Your wife does not want to fuck you for a reason, and I am 100% sure the real reason is not some stupid recent argument. You can talk OI and DNGAF til the cows come home, but none of that matters if you are not Captaining the ship first. So do you OYS at home? Would you want to fuck you? How have you contributed to your dry dick? I don't see any of that in your post.

Your post reads like someone who has studied the instructions manual on how to drive stick, but has never actually done it.Or, maybe you are just the snowflake with a 100% harpy bitch for a wife and you are just an awesome motherfucker.

wildnight98 · 2017-11-25T23:26:53+00:00

More like a baby stepper. I️ get the concepts but putting them reliably into practice is going to take time.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2017-11-26T02:39:36+00:00

The last few posts, including this one, all have people who give too many fucks.

You need to change the pattern, because what was done in the past didn't work. Start being a bit of a asshole, and don't apologise for stuff you shouldn't be apologizing for.

InChargeMan · 2017-11-27T09:27:35+00:00

You have a long way to go. Follow the process, don't take shortcuts, and eventually she will be worried that she isn't fucking you frequently enough.

Title	How to Handle Demand for Unwarranted Apology Well?
Author	wildnight98
Upvotes	8
Comments	28
Date	25 November 2017 03:26 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	askMRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/205127
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7fftoi/how_to_handle_demand_for_unwarranted_apology_well/