714,030 posts

Separated and I still work on me every fucking day...

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November 20, 2017
21 upvotes

I've been separated since May, 7 months ago. I started my RP journey for real in September of 2016, 15 months ago. Presently going through the divorce process. I'm in a new relationship with a great woman. Life is good.

I still work on me and RP stuff every single day. Every day I am reading something and/or meditating, planning, evaluating and learning. Not to mention lifting. It never stops. I never want it to stop either. I never seem to catch up and I never seem to plateau. MRP isn't just a way of life, it is a commitment to a lifetime of learning and improvement.

My commitment to RP, in my late 40s, is the best single thing that has ever happened to me, and I've accomplished a few things in my life. Never before have women made sense like they now do. Never before have I experienced peace and happiness like I do now. Never before have I had the quality relationships that I now do.

My only regret is that I came upon this so late in life. I will ensure that my boys are RP educated when they are old enough to understand.

Many thanks to the leaders that put this sub together and to the men that come on here and share their stories. I read everything and learn something from every single thread.

The RP journey isn't easy and we all know that the first months are hell. But as you learn and lift, things get better. Then they get good. And then they get awesome. I know of no other path in life that works as well as MRP.


Post Information
Title Separated and I still work on me every fucking day...
Author ImSteveMcQueen
Upvotes 21
Comments 35
Date 20 November 2017 08:07 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/205147
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7ebpwx/separated_and_i_still_work_on_me_every_fucking_day/
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Comments

[–]BobbyPeru4 points5 points  (21 children) | Copy

Tell us more about this great woman you are in a relationship with....

[–]ImSteveMcQueen[S] 4 points5 points  (20 children) | Copy

Late 40s, hot, hot body, great attitude, really appreciative. Fit, fun and sexy. She does yoga, fitness classes and hiking.

Her ex was literally a drunk captain. Like so many women her age, she kept the family together and made it work. Once the kids were out of the house, she ended it. She has been single for a few years, gave up on finding a decent man. "Men are damaged goods, not worth it." She has never been in a relationship with a strong man she can trust.

She's a great first officer. I do my thing. I give her space. She responds with need and desire. I lead, she follows. She's the woman, I'm the man.

We are early in the relationship. She knows what she has with me and treats me with respect and gratitude.

One day at a time. There are others if this ends.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

One day at a time. There are others if this ends.

Winning!

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Abundance mentality right here!

[–]ImSteveMcQueen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are never trapped if you have options. You will never have oneitis if you know there is another woman that is attracted to you. You will never stay in a bad relationship or settle if you know you have better options.

All you have to do is be something that women desire. These days that doesn't seem to be very hard to do.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wait, that’s MY WIFE, and I’m NOT HER EX...

Lol

[–]ImSteveMcQueen[S] 0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy

I should say a few more things about this relationship.

First off, it feels like we are 20 year olds. Like really it does. We are both fit and active and she is really playful. Some women this age are thinking about retirement. We are having so much fun literally acting like kids. I knew I was supposed to enjoy my RP life, but I had no idea it would be like this.

On our 2nd or 3rd date we were casually watching videos on Youtube. Jennifer Lopez's song "Ain't your Mama" comes on and she proceeds to tell me how she is sick of being a mother to men. Hmmm...

I do the little things and she thanks me. Like make breakfast. Like strip the bed. Like shovel a bit of snow. She used to handle all this stuff herself.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy

On our 2nd or 3rd date we were casually watching videos on Youtube.

Sounds like an awesome date....

I do the little things and she thanks me.

Your such a nice guy...

handle all this stuff herself

Being single makes a person do that. But I still do not see in any of your posts what value this woman brings to your life?

[–]ImSteveMcQueen[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Your such a nice guy...

Nope. I am not a nice guy.

I do shit because it needs doing and makes my life better, not because I am trying to please anyone else or to gain approval. I do my agenda, nobody else's.

I am not nice. I am not kind. I am not sacrificing myself for anyone else. If what I do works for my new gal, that is great. If it doesn't, then I need to find another woman. It is great that she appreciates who I am and what I do, but that isn't why I do it.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Why do you need to "find another woman" if this doesnt work out? Are you afraid to be alone, or do you just need to have that woman in your life to pedestalize?

How long were your married to the first special snowflake?

You are not even divorced yet (officially) and all you can do is talk about how awesome your next relationship already is.

You already have ONEITIS for this woman, and nothing you say will change my opinion of that.

The comments you have in other reply's she calls you:

"A nice guy"

"Thanks you for doing things for her"

You are in the rebound stage of a break up - why cant you figure this out?

[–]ImSteveMcQueen[S] 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy

Being single makes a person do that. But I still do not see in any of your posts what value this woman brings to your life?

Great companionship and sex. She is fun. She teaches me things through her actions and sharing of her life experiences. We are both growing together in the relationship, getting stronger, doing new things.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Hey -

I see this post from 27 days ago:

I've been vetting 2 women for a couple weeks. Both high quality, one has a bit of an attitude, has been kinda aloof. I've been stalling with the other until I get to know the aloof woman better. I'm not good at being in multiple relationships at once and I don't want to do that, so I want to make a decision and pick one.

Is this special snowflake who is late 40's one of these women your were vetting?

I love how you even state that you cant handle multiple relationships and want to settle with ONE.

Dude, you need to go back to the beginning and start again.

You are so afraid to be alone it is crippling your mindset.

[–]ImSteveMcQueen[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'll be me, OK, buddy ?

I know what I want and I know what I'm doing. If I mess it up, I'll take the responsibility. It is, after all, MY LIFE.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

It was my intention to build you, not break you.

[–]ImSteveMcQueen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Woo fucking hoo.

[–]straius0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol, be real mother fucker.

What you wanted to do was dominate OP by enforcing your reality and frame on OP over something that pricked you as weak in his choice of words and OP demonstrated he wasn't going to acquiesce so you kept digging and then finally tried to make it about something other than your own power struggle in the thread when you realized you weren't gonna get his submission.

You weren't looking to build anyone up, you were looking to satiate your ego.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

So she allows access to her holes for you is basically the only value she provides.

And she is someone to go to the movies, and dinner with and watch YT videos on her couch?

You should be spinning plates and not settling down already with another woman who is your own age.

Why are you not going after 35 year old women? Do you have an SMV problem I assume?

Her kids are grown - I assume if you have kids they are also grown. So the whole prospect of "family" is null and void.

So I ask again, at this stage in your life what value is this woman providing, other than satisfying your fear of being alone?

You have listed off 10 things in this post on how YOU provide value to her life, but I see little to no reciprocation on those items.

So I say it again, you are a Nice Guy.

[–]ImSteveMcQueen[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You have linked this post twice, but you do not understand the content, and for some reason keep using to try and prove your point.

[–]ImSteveMcQueen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Whatever.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Have you read book of pook yet? Keep two in the kiddie.

[–]CrippleSlap1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Separated and I still work on me every fucking day...

Why wouldn't you?

[–]ImSteveMcQueen[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

In hindsight, I agree, why wouldn't I be working on me every single day ? But when I started this journey, I had the mindset that RP was something you attained and then just were.

But it doesn't work that way, or at least it hasn't for me thus far. When you start living for yourself there is always a way to improve things or you set out to figure out how to improve things. You are always striving for something better, something new, because, well, it matters to you now.

At first I found it very hard to figure out what I even wanted. It takes a while to figure that out if you've been living in someone else's frame for a long time. Once you figure out some goals, you start learning and working to achieve them. But you learn things along the way. And you meet people. So the goals get tweaked. And you learn more. And you change. And it just seems to keep going and going.

It is amazing how one's mindset changes as you read and grow. You read a book from the sidebar and you implement some things. 6 months later you read it again and find another few things to tweak. Then you read another book or observe something in real life and do another tweak. And soon you don't even recognize the sorry assed guy you used to be.

The learning and improvement gets addictive. I've basically stopped watching TV entirely. I have zero interest in 90% of the content. I'd rather work on myself. It is more fun and interesting and I'm living my life instead of watching someone else's life.

[–]BobbyPeru0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Have you had the exclusivity talk?

[–]ImSteveMcQueen[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Nope. She calls me her boyfriend. I've spend too much time with her recently to be dating someone else. But she hasn't asked me yet, though she did blurt out that she loved me this morning. I just smiled and gave her a kiss.

Women control intimacy, men control commitment.

She said I was nice the other day. I quickly corrected her on that and said that I am only acting in my best self interest and that if they quality of the relationship would change, I wouldn't be staying. She gets that. It goes for her too.

She also gave me a comfort test as I was packing up this morning. "You can just come back for that stuff..." I told her yes, I would be coming back.

But everything is day by day with us. No big commitment, no big future plans. I tell her when I'm interested in seeing her, she tells me when we are getting together. Women are like cats. Men are the catnip. You don't chase a cat. Cats come to you when they feel like it. Our relationship is controlled by her desire. It works great. We spend a lot of time together and she doesn't feel pressured by me at all. In fact, I always make her ask me to do something.

Corey Wayne's channel on youtube has really good information on this.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, there are red flags all over the place in this post. Better watch yourself...

[–]creating_my_life1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

My only regret is that I came upon this so late in life. I will ensure that my boys are RP educated when they are old enough to understand.

Ain't that the truth! I'm incredibly envious of these kids who discover RP concepts in college and their 20s. Good for them.

[–]Progress_Set1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You never find RP soon enough.

[–]ImSteveMcQueen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You and me both, buddy. You and me both.

But our lives ain't over yet either. Not by a long shot. And we did get some value out of those years, so not all is lost.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Nice.....

[–]Diff8882 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just don’t marry her.

[–]WesternhagenWinner0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In fact, don't even shack up with her.



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