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FR: Men should take paternity leave to get post divorce access.

Reddit View
November 14, 2017
7 upvotes

I'm in the midst of a divorce. Child access is currently being debated. I have 2 children, the oldest is 7.

One issue that came up against me is that my wife took 2 maternity leaves and I took none. Even though the oldest child was in daycare during the 2nd maternity leave, the judge commented that he has spent 1/3 of his life with the mother while she was on maternity leave.

I understand that every jurisdiction is different, but in some jurisdictions they chose the residential parent based on who the child is most accustomed to. In the case of my 7 year old, the fact that I didn't take a paternity leave is working against me, even though I have spent a ton of time with the child.

Something to think about.


Post Information
Title FR: Men should take paternity leave to get post divorce access.
Author Nobody9999999999999
Upvotes 7
Comments 20
Date 14 November 2017 04:12 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/205169
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7cwmek/fr_men_should_take_paternity_leave_to_get_post/
Similar Posts
Comments

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

We've talked about it before, but the horse is out of the barn now so its after the fact. But for guys that are thinking about divorce the point still stands.

If you want to be anything more than just an every other weekend dad, you need to be more than an every other weekend dad while still married!

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

It always come back to OYS. I don’t get paternity leave so I planned ahead and used two weeks vacation time for each kid. I’ve been to every doctors appointment. I’m there for most breakfast and every dinner and bath. I put my kids to bed every night and I do none of this because I’m concerned about the outcome of a divorce.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I do none of this because I’m concerned about the outcome of a divorce.

That is the reason for the upvote. That is the mindset that MRP is about, OYS.

[–]hystericalbonding5 points6 points  (11 children) | Copy

How about taking paternity leave because you want to be with the kid.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

Yeah I was given 2 weeks with my first and used every bit of it. Just for stupid shit like doctors appointments and the like. People who don't take the leave they are due are ineffective and unorganized.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Unfortunately for me, at the time of my kid's birth, I was a spineless bitch in life. The CEO of the company pressured me to NOT take the paternity leave that was written into the employee handbook, going so far as to publicly shame me and rally other managers in the company to his cause.

In retrospect I should've laughed it off and taken it anyways, telling him to rewrite the employee handbook if he pressed the matter.

Problem is, most of us were pretty plugged in at the time our kids were born.

[–]AustralianArm0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Did anyone see that DEER that just went past?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fair

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Madness....

[–]Nobody9999999999999[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That is a good reason too.

[–]Wolveryn0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Not everyone is in a financial position to do that... but maybe OP's point changes the perspective a little.

[–]hystericalbonding0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

If you can't afford to take a few weeks off when the kid is born, then you shouldn't be having a kid.

[–]Wolveryn0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I’m on a $1200 a day and we’re trying to save for a house... in Sydney, saving for a house is horrifically soul crushingly expensive... only property groups and investors go to the auctions. Maybe 1 in 200 is a first home buyer... trust me no one without inheritance can afford it here... hence we save like our lives depend upon it.

In saying that I took 2.5 months off, but if some one was on the average income... I can see why they wouldn't take time off.

[–]AustralianArm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Excuses...

[–]WesternhagenWinner1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Maternity leave is irrelevant if the wife returns to work. The kid will never again be "at home all day with mom".

Naturally, it doesn't surprise me that the judge doesn't understand this.

As for the 7 year old, the kid spent what, 3 months with mom doing maternity leave out of the 84+ months of his life? Idiotic to give that any weight. Certainly the kid has no memory of that time.

[–]Nobody9999999999999[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Some countries have much longer maternity leaves. Like 1 year.

[–]beta_no_mo0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

We need an MRP divorce sub.

[–]AustralianArm0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

DRP? Or RPD?

[–]beta_no_mo0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

RPD for sure

[–]AustralianArm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

DRP is too close the DeRP



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