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Notice that "mid life crisis" is mainly a female accusation?

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October 22, 2017
11 upvotes

For all the middle aged guys here... (I'm late 40's with 3 teen children)

Me, I played sports and worked out a lot when I was younger. Fell off during the "children years". Started working out again about 2 years ago. Just a little at first, but I progressively keep ramping it up to the point where I work out a LOT now.

And I occasionally hear "he's having a mid-life crisis". But then I noticed something... only females are saying this (wife, her friends, sister, mother, etc etc). While the females are putting a negative spin on it as a "mid life crisis" all my male friends are like "way to go dude... looking good!"

Anyone else experiencing this? Females are reacting to your improvements negatively while male friends are positive?

(and I suppose we could discuss all day as to WHY)


Post Information
Title Notice that "mid life crisis" is mainly a female accusation?
Author buildingbloch
Upvotes 11
Comments 43
Date 22 October 2017 07:24 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/205247
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/782bqm/notice_that_mid_life_crisis_is_mainly_a_female/
Similar Posts
Comments

[–]470_2_700_nm8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy

I actually have heard it more from beta males than women.

But it serves the same purpose. It’s a message to get back into beta form. You are not confirming to the script. These men are uncomfortable about you doing what you want for you. It’s against their own ego investment.

I hope you are using negative inquiry or A&A or some ass slapping... anything. If you can’t pull any of that STFU.

Must depend on the types of men you are more likely to be in contact with.

[–]markpf736 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Take a look at "The tall poppy syndrome" on Wikipedia:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tall_poppy_syndrome

It is a common response of the masses to anyone who dares to improve.

A&A for sure.

[–]Kingofdeadbedroom2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You should have heard my wife shit testing me when I started hitting the gym hard and making real gains and dropping to sub-15% body fat. Favourites include: - Blah, blah, blah..... stop tying to be someone your'e not. - Blah, blah, blah..... I don't like muscular men. - Blah, blah, blah..... You said that we should get spending under control, then you bought this gym equipment. - Blah, blah, blah..... You're sweaty - yuck, I'm not kissing you. - Blah, blah, blah..... You thought that you were fit, listen to yourself panting.

The correct response is of course amounts to: hahaha IDNGAF!

This came from my sweet wife who apparently has my best interests at heart. FWIW I'm only in my recommended BMI range. It couldn't possibly be anything to do with increasing SMV and dread, could it?

It must surely be pure coincidence, and this coming from the woman that serially denied me sex for many years. Oh no, he may possibly be able to get plenty of good pussy! It's so unfair having to invest some real effort into your partner after taking them for granted for so long.

Would us guys whinge, shame and guilt our wives if they got themselves into great shape? No, it's just your woman's fear of loosing power over the provisioning from the willing slave that was taken for granted. Beta men will be jealous of your apparent freedom and improving SMV related prospects.

[–]MRPFuckMe15 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

The mentor of my mentor, Elliot Jacques, developed the notion of a mid-life crisis. He was an organizational designer and concerned with positive adult development.

It may be misused by many, including your wife, but it's quite accurate and it could be argued that it's basically the foundation of this sub.

Most of us agree it was a crisis of some kind that brought us here, and that crisis is essentially feeling like we got a raw deal in life, mostly in regards to women.

I'd focus your ire on the attitude behind the (mis)use of this term rather than dismissing the phenomenon itself--which is very obviously something that happens.

[–]470_2_700_nm0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

No I’m going to continue to despise its use.

Good to know you’ve been mentored by a mentor who’s findings have serve to keep men under the thumbs of the imperative.

If you tell me he included in the analysis the // time of a woman’s life that is in someway similar, well that’s great, maybe I’ll back off a little. And even then, I’m sure the wording of “crisis” wasn’t used to describe it.

It’s not a crisis, it’s a fucking opportunity and power that men have that is threatening. There is no crisis. The entire wording is meant to neuter this reality.

Sorry your mentor sucked.

[–]MRPFuckMe10 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Cool thanks kid.

[–]470_2_700_nm-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

No probs I’m sure you’ll come to terms with it, or demonstrate otherwise that I’m wrong.

I’m good either way.

[–]MRPFuckMe10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Me too bud.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Hey BB,

Your comments and Rollo's article are right on point. I have been at this for 6 months and my wife loves to justify it as a mid life crisis (I'm 39). I am very confident that it is her way of "boxing up" what i am doing in a way that it means it has nothing to do with her. In this way she can continue on in her ways without feeling responsible for my changes.

In other words the female justifications of mid life crisis are to allow her to mentally escape responsibility AND consequence of our improvements.

I can only assume that a short term mid life crisis poses no concern to the average wife, but as it continues along with the SMV change over, the concern / dread will increase, and the throwaway 'he's have a mid life crisis' will hold no value.

FWIW I have defended myself by saying i wanted to be a role model for my two sons, but will leave it at that for now.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

[–]simbarlionRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good article. I personally think a wife will hold onto a false reality of what she sees him to be longer than the average other human, but its still just a matter of time (1000ft rope perhaps).

[–]The_LitzRed Beret3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

Lots of plugged in males also try shaming you.

[–]DanceMonkeeDanceRed Beret3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Shaming is exactly what it is. If you are the betabux, what business do you have spending resources on yourself? They're for her (and her offspring).

[–]470_2_700_nm1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I bought a supercar this year.

Lots of comments from smurfy acquaintances about my mid-life crisis. Tallcrab bucketpoppies.

Whatev.

[–]DanceMonkeeDanceRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Tallcrab bucketpoppies

Picture yourself in a tranquil field of crabs.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

[–]The_LitzRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I bought a bike when I was still plugged in. The mental gymnastics to justify it to everyone makes me cringe now.

[–]bala-key2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You working out can make people uncomfortable around you. Male or female.

It's crab bucket mentality. It forces them to re-examine their own choices and standards. People don't like that so they try to shame you back into your box.

But you know better than to give a fuck.

[–]bigOlBeta2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get back in your box!

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (11 children) | Copy

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

When I found this place two years ago, I had the same thought... mid-life crisis is actually men realizing their lives are shit and deciding to do something about it... then I read that article and surmised most unpluggers probably come to the same conclusion.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly the same here.

[–]SepeanRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Look man, for many men real growth happens in the face of challenge. We're not born men, it's something that is forged in fire.

A crisis doesn't have to be acute and external. It can be a slow, creeping crisis of value, purpose and identity.

When we're young, we're running on high hormones, lack of experience, an underdeveloped neocortex, and freedom from responsibility.

Later in life, hormone levels are lower, you have the neocortex and experience to appreciate risk and how much really can go wrong, and you're burdened with responsibilities. You have to replace that youthful energy with purpose and character - and regularly give yourself a kick in the butt and do something fresh.

It's not a transition that happens all at once, or gradually. It happens in discrete steps, and one of those steps can accurately be labelled a mid life crisis.

There's nothing wrong with that, with looking at your life, finding something lacking and then doing something about it. That's how we grow. Men know this

And sure, women will shit test you about it. That doesn't make it made up, or wrong. It's a shit test, not an objective value judgement. It's the norm that women are negative about fun and/or constructive male activities.

Is it because you're seeking validation and a pat on the back for your efforts that you bring this up? You're not going to get that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There is a nice lil article as to WHY linked indirectly in the sidebar of MRP

See if you can find it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

"How do I explain this inexplicable behavior? Is there a generic go-to-term that's socially sanctioned?"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

" in a negative light - because it scares me"

[–]thunderbeyond0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Perhaps at a simple level her friends, sister, mother see your SMV rising and think... "oh fuck - if this shit catches on, we may have to do better ourselves. Nah fuck it, just try beating his ass down first."

Your male friends see you stronger, happier and healthier and are just genuinely happy for you.

Good on you, bud. Keep going.

[–]sh0ckley0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Mid life crisis.

Translation: oh shit he found his balls so let’s shame him back where we want him.

EDIT - it’s a good sign. Hopefully some woman will call you a fucking asshole soon.

[–]BobbyPeru-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

So, where are you hearing these people saying this? Is it just your wife telling you others are saying it? If so, I’d say it’s dread wifey is experiencing.

Keep your foot on the gas pedal.



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